Mom of the Year

A little better..

2011-01-30T00:02:00.002-05:00

I knew I was in a bad spot. I went to the doctor this week, hoping for some help. I've never been so lost. I've never been on any sort of medication. I see a grief counsoler, but that isn't enough to help me get through the day. My doctor prescribed xanix, and prozac. The prozac is for every day, an anti-depressent. The xanix is an as needed sorta thing. Like if I'm having a freak out, a panic attack, or I can't get to sleep. I'm hoping that it helps! I have a family to take care of, a house to clean, errands to run, a mama to love, a job to get to. I want the world to stop, but the truth is, it just doesn't. It goes on no matter how we feel about it. In order for me to get about my day, w/ all of the mundane, I need help. I know this isn't going to 'fix' me, or erase my sadness, but I'm sure hoping it'll make that first step out of bed in the morning, just a little easier.
I'm taking a nothing day tomorrow, and I can't wait! I'm staying in my pj's all day! My goal is to move as little as possible :) I'm turning off my phone, watching movies, and snuggling w/ my babes ALL DAY. AND I REFUSE, to feel guility about it. YES!!!!

I can't stand it.

2011-01-21T11:38:00.002-05:00

Too much. I can't handle it. Hello nervous breakdown. I've been waiting for you. I want to quit today, just give up. I don't want to 'try'. Try to get through the day, try to put a smile on my face, pretend that its just a bit tough, but I'm going to be fine. I'm NOT fine, I'm not ok, and nothing will ever be right again. 'Hanging in there' doesn't cut it. I'm in agony! It feels as though the next loss, or diaster is just around the corner. So why try? One foot in front of the other, just a day at a time, fuck all of that. Nonsense. I don't want to mask my pain anymore to make sure I'm not making anyone else uncomfortable. And speaking of anyone, where are you?? I can't tell you how many times I've heard "i'm here for you if you need me, I can help you out, need and ear or a shoulder, I'm there" PSSSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHHT. I am alone. I have my mama, but she's worse off than I am, and I cannot burden her w/ my grief. My husband is a man, no further explanation is neccesary. There is a lady I see, a grief counsoler, but I feel weird w/ her. I don't know anything about her, and it feels awkward to me to share w/ her this way. I am beyond myself w/ coping. I can't cope. I get up to bring my babes to school, and go back to bed as soon as I get home. I get up to pick them back up and bring them home. Then I go to work. I fake my smiles and hate my right now with each step I take. The next day, I repeat the process.
Losing my dad was horrific for me. Losing a grandpa hurt. Losing my step dad, unbelieveble! He wasn't supposed to go. He was 48, and healthy. He went to bed, and just never woke up. A friend passed away last week, at the age of 30. Cancer. I CAN'T FLIPPN' TAKE IT ANYMORE! I am out of my mind. I want to quit. To give up. To stop trying to get out of bed in the morning, and just stay put. I want to let the blackness that's been flittering around the corners of my mind take me. What is the point? As soon as my heart begins to heal, it'll just be re-broken. Such has been the pattern for the last year. Bullshit 'it'll get better'. It does NOT and HAS NOT going better. I'm one crack away from the looney bin.

More Loss

2011-01-17T00:56:00.002-05:00

My step dad, Tony, passed away unexpectedly on Dec 31. Two daddy's, gone in 6 months.. A grandpa in Novemeber. A friend gone also too soon, this past Friday. Too much. I'm hurting. I'm a wreck. I'm not up to a long explanation of all that has happened these last few weeks, but will do so this week. I need to get it out.

Shit shit shit!

2010-12-23T17:56:00.002-05:00

It is nearly 6, and I have friends coming over at 7... Guess what I have done? NOT A THING! Ha! Yep, house is a mess, I haven't cooked, I'm in my pj's, kids are unfed. Oops. Perhaps I should cancel??? Yikes! Need to power up and get shit done, like now! Wish me luck!

Dreams

2010-12-09T00:23:00.002-05:00

I dreamt about my dad last night. It was upsetting....

I was in my grandma's house, which for some reason, happen to be mine. Chicken was over (my bff and SIL) w/ my nefew, and my kids were also running around. I had a 'feeling' that my dad was around.. I could sense him or something, and saw things around the yard that just had to be his, but I couldn't find him. Random dreamness continues... I walked around the corner of my house, outside of course, and there he was! Standing, handsome, healthy. I ran to him and wrapped my arms around his neck, crying, and sooooooooooooooooooo happy to see him, to hug him, feel his big strong solid form, and smell his special smell. He was the same. Well, when he was healthy. He felt the same, his laugh and smile were the same, the twinkle in his eye, all my daddy, and all there for me to cling to. I was ecstatic! But then, I got angry, super crazy angry. I started pounding on him w/ my fists, screaming, tears of anguish, and yelling "WHY DID YOU PRETEND TO DIE!? WHY DID YOU LEAVE ME?! DO YOU KNOW HOW I'VE SUFFERED??!!! I LOVE YOU! I MISS YOU! YOU'VE BEEN HERE, ALL ALONG, YOU LEFT ME ALONE!!!!! WHY DID YOU DO THIS TO ME?!!!?!!????" More screaming,crying, punching insued. Until this HUGE wolf, the exact colors of a skunk, came flying out the woods, teeth nashing, trying to eat my childern, my nefew, me and chicken. I ran around to the other side, to save my children (moments really).. when all was ok, I went back to talk to my dad. I had come to my senses. I didn't want to be angry. I wanted to talk to him, hold him, love him, talk to him...... but, he was gone. I couldn't find him again :( I woke up at that point, bawling. Sad, greiving, alone, in this world once again without him, and hurting like I did when he first passed. I cried all day today. Man, daddy, I miss you. I want so very much for you to come back again, if only in my dreams, where at least I can touch you, smell you, feel that all-consuming comfort, protection, safe. Safe. Loved. Warm. Feel like I'm still 4, and you're the only one in the world who can fix whatever it is that happens to be broken. I miss you so much. Days like today, I long for you. I feel so lost with out you.
I've been feeling like I'm moving forward with my grief process. That I'm ok, I'm going to be ok. I still have sad times, but it doesn't devistate me. Psssssssshhhhhhhhhhht. Then along come my dream, and here I am, in the throws of fresh grief, all over again. I just love you. I miss you. I miss your twinkle, your big belly laugh, your smell. Your funny crazy stories. Your wisdom. It was too soon for you to go. I wish you were still here. How desperately I want to talk to you! Hear you laugh.. I had a moment of panic recently. I couldn't remember the exact sound of your laugh. Thankfully, I heard it in my dream last night, yep that was it. A blessing! I don't want to forget. Miss you much daddy. Love you always.

I'm not witty enough for a title today.

2010-09-20T15:18:00.002-04:00

Jade's fever was off and on this weekend. She seemed fine this morning, so I sent her off to school. When I picked her up, her teacher told me that she wasn't feeling well, again! I brought her in today, she has a double ear infection! A bad one! She hasn't complained about her ears hurting at all! Poor love :( Makes me feel like a shit mom. I should have brought her in sooner. Hoping those hefty antibotics will work their magic!
I went to the gym this morning. I didn't want to go, haven't been feeling motivated AT ALL. But I've been complaining plenty about the weight I've put on.. That chub isn't going to disappear all on its own. I did 2 ( i know right! WOW) classes this morning. I'm super proud of myself. I did cardio sculpt followed by pilates. I've never done pilates before. It doesn't look like much, but hot damn! I thought I was gonna puke for a minute!
The weekend was good. Work was outrageously busy! Next weekend is going to be busier-first weekend of Art Prize. People are going to be out in force. I'm not looking forward to getting my ass kicked, but the money will be nice :) We stayed at the cabin again this past weekend. We're getting alot done! I can't believe how much there is to do- and it's such a small place. I LOVE being there. We'll be up there this weekend as well. The long drive back and forth to work sorta sucks (45 min), but worth it. We have soooooooooooo much more to do before the snow comes.
It's my nephew's bday today. Big 4 year old!! My kids (minus Jade) can't wait to celebrate w/ him. Hoping for a nice night w/ hangin' out w/ the family.

I love you blogger.

2010-09-17T13:13:00.002-04:00

I went back and read some of my posts from 4 years ago. I used to post daily- just about my everyday life as a stay at home mom. I'm glad I have it!! It's great. I really need to try to post more often :)

I started therapy last week. I'm hoping it will help me get over my grief. I'm still suffering, and crying regularly. My joy has disappered, and I can't wait to get it back. I want to be normal again!

I had breakfast w/ some friends this morning. So good to see them! I felt like a retard though, not having much to add to the conversation... Jade is sick :( At least I think so. She's been complaining of a headache/tummy aches since just before school got out. She's moaning quite a bit, and wants me next to her at all times. Poor babe! Whatever it is, I hope its gone soon!

I have shit tons of laundry to finish, grocery shopping to do, and I need to pack for the weekend. We're heading up to the cabin. I'll join my family after i get out of work tonight. Sort of hard to get anything done w/ a sad babes though. Here's to hoping my hubs won't kill me if I don't get it all done on time...

in hopes of riding my insomina...

2010-08-21T00:39:00.002-04:00

I was so excited to go to bed last night. All the babes were tucked in, the house was quiet, and it was only 930! Perfect! I could get some much needed rest, or NOT. BOO! Couldn't sleep a wink! I was awake until 5-effing am! BLEH. So, in trying to avoid such nonsense from occuring again, I'm going to word puke. Hopefully my brain will spew out all that's in it, so I can rest, peacefully!

Lots of stuff going on this week. The loan came through for us, so we can buy my dad's house! YAY! When my parents were married, and I was young, they bought a cottage/cabin. An hour north of home, small place, no indoor plumbing, on a few acres. We spent all of our weekends there, and most of our summers. When my parents divorced, my dad decided that he was going to LIVE there, and let my mom keep our house. He never left. He put in plumbing, bathroom, re-did the inside w/ weathered barn wood. I have soooo many good memories from there. Not only of when we were still a family, but one on one time w/ my pops. I'm thrilled that we are going to keep it! At first, I was worried that I wouldn't be able to be there. That it would bring me more sadness than anything, with him gone. Hubs and I went to visit the week after dad died. It made me happy. I felt safe, warm, secure, and loved. I knew then that it would be great, that it would be, could be well. We are spending our first night up there tomorrow w/ our kids. I'm ecstatic, but a little nervous too. I haven't slept there in years, and never w/o my dad. I hope I still feel all of those warm fuzzies as I lie in bed there....

I had a falling out w/ a gf this week. Psht. Gay. She got WAY more out of a text that I had sent to her, than was really there. She didn't ask me about it - in fact she just plain wouldn't speak to me. She sent me an email saying she's done w/ me. Super, knock yourself out lady. I was there for you, and didn't do as you requested not only b/c I wasn't comfortable w/ it, but b/c I was worried about your name being dragged in the mud- I didn't want to do that, and wouldn't. But did you ask why? Did you answer my call so I could explain?? Nope. You just decided that you knew all about what was in my heart, why I chose as I did, what my thoughts were. I'm just not gonna do it. I'm not going to go out of my way to explain myself, or defend myself when you have already decided who I am. Are you wrong, hell yes! Am I going to fix it, and let you see how much of an ass you are?? Hell no. If you're always going to think the worst of me, you don't deserve me. It hurts a little. Not like it did the first time this sort of thing happened- that nearly ripped me in half, but this- not so bad. I understand now. Mistrust, anger, and bitterness rule for you. Of all the things I could feel in this case, I feel more pity than anything for you. Good luck babe. Those things you harbor, only hurt you.

Other than that crap- good news!! My penut can swim!! I was bursting w/ pride today when she asked me if she could swim in the deep end w/o her life jacket. :) SHE WAS GREAT!! LOVE LOVE LOVE my babies :) I have all I need. A super husband, fabulous kids, a home (2 now), a job, and a pocket full of friends that love me just as I am. I'm blessed, and thankful for it!

Wed already?

2010-08-11T10:42:00.002-04:00

Camping was a good time. I love our annual camping weekend w/ our family. The kids have so much fun playing w/all of their cousins. We went boating, tubing, played games and ate like pigs :) We stayed in cabins. The cabins were nice, much bigger than what we're used to. This cabin had 2 sets of bunk beds, and a really tall loft w/ a full size bed for hubs and I. I was nervous about the loft w/ the kiddos. I was praying for safety all weekend. The river was super busy w/ boats as well. On the last day, my little one fell from the loft! TEN feet down, landed flat on her back on the wood floor!! AHH!! Scared the crap out of us! Thankfully, not a scratch on her, not even a bruise! Biggest fall she's ever taken, by far!

My dear friend lost her mother unexpectedly this week. I feel her grief as acutely as I feel my own :( She is my soul-sister. We are very close, and very much spiritually connected. We were baptized together. Ever since then, when matters of the spirit arise, its her I turn to. I spent the night w/ her the day her mom passed. She's been more in shock than anything else. I love her much, and feel her pain. Going to the viewing and funeral this week is going to be tough. Not only for my sweet friend, but for me as well. I'm still broken over the loss of my father. I wonder what this funeral will feel like for me?? M was with me when my dad died. She's the one that poked me to crawl in bed w/ him as he took his last breaths :( She was the first one to put her arms around me, and she prayed for me immeadiately, that I would feel God's peace in that moment, that he would wrap his arms around me. I want to be there for her in the same way that she has been here for me. We are still young- it doesn't seem right that we should be losing our parents already! I nearly lost my mama in May. I feel like I need her more now, than I ever did when I was a teenager. Now that I have my own husband, my own children, I need her guidence more than I ever did before- her advice. M feels the same. Devastating to lose a parent. Her dad passed away 11 years ago- she is only 33, and now without both of her parents. My heart aches for her. Going to be a tough week!

WOOT for Friday

2010-08-06T16:10:00.002-04:00

I'm feeling better today. A bit. I only cried once today :) I'm going camping w/ all of my hubs family this weekend. All his brothers/sisters/parents/ and everybody's kids. I think there is 38 of us now, or close to that. I'm looking forward to spending time w/ them this weekend!!! My kids are geeked, and so am I. Nothing but relaxing, family, boating, beaching, and napping. I need it! Happy weekend to you!

I miss you

2010-08-05T13:07:00.002-04:00

So, back to blogging. My dad passed away on June 22. I miss him terribly. I'm having a hard time getting back to life. I walk, I talk, I take care of my family, I go to work, but I'm hollow. Someone suggested that maybe writing would help. Here I am...

Daddy,
I miss you so very very much. It seems like these last few weeks have been worse. I want to hear you, your voice, your laugh. I want to see your eyes twinkle w/ mischief. I want you to hold me. I want to smell you, feel your whiskers on my cheek. I still call your home phone. Only to hear it's been disconnected, but I still do it. Uncle R is an asshole. Do you know what he did?? 2 days after you passed, he went to your house and emptied it out, never mentioning it to Josh or I. He burnt all of your things dad- anything that he didn't think he could sell, he burned them. All I have left of you are your picture, a t-shirt, your ashes, and my memories. I'm sacred that I'm going to forget you. I wish you were still here :( What's heaven like?? Was your mom surprised to see you? hehe, I just bet she was. Life is moving on for me, for all of us, but it doesn't feel the same without you. I'm thankful for the last weeks we had together. I knew you were going, that it would be soon, and I didn't leave any words or thoughts unspoken, even though you couldn't respond to me. Even in your last seconds of life daddy, I was wishing for just one more, just one more breath. I laid w/ you as you died, held your hands, and clung to you. Do you know? Did you know that we were all there w/ you? Me and Josh and Chicken, your dad, you sister. Could you hear me that afternoon? Did you hear Chicken and I laughing and talking of the time you went after Shane?? So many good times dad, so many laughs, so much love. I wish you didn't have to go. I know it was better, you were too far sick when we finally got you to the hospital- stubborn jerk, btw. I've wondered if we could have done something sooner, if we could have said something else, if there was another way that we could have made you go sooner- would you still be here? Why did you want to leave us? Was it b/c you were sad, or lonely, or unhappy? Did we disappoint you? I hope not papa. I wanted to make you proud of me, of what I've become as an adult. Were you? I feel like most of things that are good about me, came from you. From what you taught me. Being so laid back about life, not wasting time being angry, never missing an oppurtuniuty to have a good time, and loving whole-heartedly. So badly I want to hug you, to hear your voice, to hear you say you love me once more. Dad, how long will this hurt?? I want to get to the time where I can just remember you and smile, not cry and long for you. Are there really streets of gold?? Are you still dancing? I love you, and miss you much.

O MY!

2009-07-10T10:28:00.002-04:00

What a pain in the ass.. I haven't been here in at least a year or so. I forgot my password/email that I used, couldn't figure it out! Hoops all morning :( BUT alas, I've finally figured it all out!

it's been a BUSY year. It was a rough year, w/ plenty of highs, and lows. Thank you Jesus that it's worked out as well as it has!

My kids are growing like WEEDS! Makes me sad. I can't believe that they're all so big! I've gone back to work, which is awesome. I work at Chicken's family's resturant- and I'm loving it. Still at Marriot as well, but I'm hardly ever there. I work 4 days a week. The extra money is fantastic. I can't remember how my hubs and I ever made it when I didn't work!

I've missed you bloggers. Are any of you still out there??

Grammy's, snow days, and nonsense

2008-02-11T08:31:00.000-05:00

Did any of you watch the grammy's last night?? I heard on the news that Micheal Jackson performed?? I didn't see that- and I'm pretty sure I saw all of it... anyone?? Aretha Franklin was looking rough :( She sounded different to me too.. Alicia Keys was fan-flippn'-tastic! I love her! I like the Beyonce and Tina performance as too! Awesome! Although Tina looks like a tranny... Her face didn't move, at all! Chill on the botox! And, does little richard EVER age?? Ever? He looks exactly the same, which just isn't normal! How old is that guy? He must be what... 120ish??? Overall, I really liked the grammy's. I thought they did a good job. Oh, and yay for amy winehouse! I hope she continues to clean her act up. I love her voice, I think she could do some really cool stuff, but NOT as a crack whore...
Guess what?? We have another snow day. Another snow day.... What on Earth?? I can't remember EVER in my life, having as many snow days as my kids have. Today is number 6. And I'm betting that, based on what they are saying, that tomorrow will also be a snow day.. I wonder when this starts effecting when they get out of school?? The school that my kids go to has an automated calling system- so when we have a snow day, school calls around 6am. Hubs and I both slept through the call. I stayed in bed until I absolutely HAD to get up. Got the kids up, got them breakfest.. woke Jade up. shoot! Then I thought to look at the phone. Cripe! I woke the whole house up when we could have slept peacefully for who knows how much longer! boo!
I'm finally not feeling terrible! WOOO! I'm stir crazy! I was home all week last week, unless I had to work. I didn't go visit anyone, I didn't run any errands. I MUST get out of here tonight!! :) I've got cabin fever! My grandma is also better! Thanks for your prayers. She's not 100% yet, but I know she'll get better now. It was a bit scary for awhile there.
And some nonsense... If your name is Jeff, why spell is GEOFF? gay. don't do that. Same w/ Shawn. SEAN does not sound like sh-a-wn.. There is WAY too much of this stuff in the english language! Silent e's, k's- no wonder my daughter is having a hard time figuring it out! Why can't knife be nife?? hmmm? Who came up w/ the idea that a slient K would make all the difference w/ that word?? Not to mention all of the other silly k words... PH too. pssshhhht. Pharmacy should very well start out farm... It doesn't make any sense. I mean really. Who decides this stuff??

Adventure Nipplegate

2008-02-05T08:28:00.000-05:00

Sunday, February 03, 2008

Adventure Nipplegate.
Current mood: adventurous

Sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo, I had a super terrible day on Friday. Rotten awful day! Everything went wrong, and my lovely babies were driving me crazy! I needed to get out, WAY out! My new friend invited me out, and offered to drive! YAY! I was thrilled to be getting out! We went to see Pop Evil at the Intersection. I've never been there, nor have I ever seen P.E. It was FUN! However, I consumed more alcohol than was neccessary. oops. Talked WAY too much. What a retard! Geez! Sometimes I can't help myself. I really need to NOT do that. Shut-up! I got elbowed in the eye by some burly dude in the mosh pit. No, I wasn't in the mosh pit, at least not on purpose.. So i was talking to the big dude about where he throws his elbows, and he put his arm around me. I thought it was going to be one of those 1/2 hug shoulder pat things, but oooooo no. Nope. He picked me up w/o any notice, and threw me in the air. Yes indeed, crowd surfing I went. Weeeeeeeeeeeeeee! That was unexpected super fun. However, when the bouncer at the front caught me, very serious faced and burly as well, he says as he puts me down "you might want to tuck in your nipple before you go back out" AHHHHHHHHHHHH! HHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAH!!! That DID NOT just happen! HAHA! Oh NO! My girl was showing! ah! ah! eeks! hahahaha! Friggn terrible, but funny at the same time. New lesson kids, crowd surfing is fun, but only in a turtle neck. Not that I had the option to choose at that moment.

Thanks my super cool new friends! I had a blast, and a hangover to prove it. I'd like to do that again sometime.. maybe next year.. or the year after...

Friday was a really good time. I needed to get out, to do something different, let my hair down a bit. I had a blast! However, I'm in trouble for it now :( The girl that I went with, is my buddy's x gf. Me and R are tight, close like siblings. He's pissed at me for hanging out w/ her! ah! Like mad enough to write me off. Fine. I'm just really done w/ this sort of nonsense. On the one hand, I can sort of see why he'd feel that way. Not that he asked me about it at all- but he could have possibly seen it as a betrayal. They didn't have an evil break up at all- they just didn't get along, and couldn't get along, nothing horrible. I hung out w/ her once, and now I'm an asshole? I dont get it. We've been friends for YEARS! Me and R- 16 as a matter of fact..I was talking to my hubs about it yesterday, and he was saying that I should prlly pick a side. I don't want to, isn't that sort of juvenile? It seems like it to me. I've done nothing but be nice to to the both of them, but I'm a jerk? That nonsense has been happening all around me lately. Another situation w/ friends were some bad behavior occured. I wasn't around when said events took place, but her bf was upset w/ me that I didn't babysit. WHAT? Are you guys kidding me? Why am I resposible for YOUR issues?? My priority is to my hubs, and to my family, and I'm feeling very close to telling the rest of the world to fuck off. Can't I just like whom I going to like?? Anyone else's choice have NOTHING to do with me. Not my fault. I'm just sick of it. And sad about it. Not too long ago, this lady had a crush on my hubs, or so it seemed, and w/ no encourgement from him ofcourse. She was having marital problems, and got into the habbit of calling my hubs. He had to ask her to stop calling, b/c it was weird. I was not concerned about her, or worried in any way. But her hubs decided to try to tell me that he knew for a fact, that this woman was having an affair w/ my hubs, and even my brother knew about it. WTF? Crazy son of a bitch. He ended up pulling a gun on his wife and getting into trouble. Once again, we became a target- we hardly knew them at all. Why is this happening? My hubs and I have an almost perfect relationship- we get along fantastically, and going on 9 years of marriage, we still really like each other, and more in love than ever. What is going on w/ the people around us??
Ugh. Blah! Other than the random rotten problems around us, we're great! We've been having CRAZY weather! Blizzards, ice storms, and really random warm days, where everything melts, only to refreeze the next day w/ aanother ice storm. Like today, and yesterday. All the snow is melting, I think we got 5 inches sunday night, now, all gone, or close too. It's been in the low 40's- we have flood warnings. Now to night, we're suppose to get another blizzard. So now all the wet we have, will freeze, and then be covered in snow. NOT good for road conditions, at all. In the last 2 weeks of school, 4 of those days have been snow days! I can't remember ever (even when I was in school) having that many snow days so close together! With the weather, and all the snow days, my kids have been a little stir crazy. Cabin fever has hit... Little testy around here. This week so far has been better. I hope it continues.. I wouldn't be surprised if we were to get another snow day tomorrow though. I'll have to let you know how it goes!

Blah.

2008-01-06T17:06:00.000-05:00

I'm at work...again.. Seems like i've been here alot lately. It's hard getting used to it. I've basically been out of the work force for nearly 8 years. I like working, but I'm missing being at home today. I want to get caught up on stuff, and play w/ my babies :) The weekend has been boring for the most part. I was going to go play cards on Friday night, but it didn't pan out. Hubs decided to try and fix the van. It wasn't as easy as he thought it would be, and we ended up not being able to use the car at all friday night, so at home I sat. I stayed up late to watch "the blue lagoon". Do you remember that movie? I LOVED that movie when I was younger, but I haven't watched it in 20 years or so. I was all excited to see it, and geez, that movie is cheesy! hehe. Funny how your perspective on things change as you get older. I did end up going to play poker on saturday, but it sucked. Not a winner. It was nice to be out and about though. I fell asleep early last night, but I kept waking up! Each time I woke up, it was one of those spasm-jerky wake ups. You know, where your arms and legs shoot out all tensed up? I must have been having creepy dreams or something. Today we went to church, came home and made lunch, then came to work. Pretty not-exciting. Kids go back to school tomorrow. I'm a bit sad about it. I'm not ready for them to go back. I'm not ready to get back to the waking up early thing, and homework fight each night. Ugh, and cub scouts. boo! It just wasn't long enough.. How many weeks until spring break?? Too many, I'm sure. I'm not looking forward to this week...

Skeleton in my closet..

2008-01-03T19:57:00.000-05:00

When I was younger, I was sort of wild... I did lots of things I shouldn't have. Parties, drinks, drugs, rock n roll, and of course, sex. I've had an interesting life thus far. I wish I wouldn't have made some of the choices I did, but on the other hand, at least I'll never die thinking "man, I wish I would have". At this place in my life, I'm embarrassed of my history. It's not something you gab about w/ other mom's on playdates you know. My long time friends and hubs are aware of all the places I've been, before I became mom. It's not a secret, it's just there. Sitting in the dark, in the back of the closet. I met up w/ a gf last night for a few drinks and some karaoke :) If you're wondering, I sang Otis Redding, and Ella Fitzgerald :) Anyway, there's this dude across the bar, and he looks familiar.. I couldn't place it though, but there was that "feeling". You know, the one that makes you want to duck and hide your face, 'just in case'. Okay, I suppose that doesn't happen to everyone, but you get what I mean. As soon as I heard his name, I remembered. Clearly. EWwwwwwwwwww! I completely had a super steamy one night stand w/ that guy, 12 years ago! AH! Gross! Yeah, that sucked. He had no idea who I was, nor was I going to go out of my way to make my presence known. That creeps me out! I don't like being faced w/ the skeletons in my closet! Boooo. I would be perfectly content if those dirty little secrets stayed put, never again to jump out at me like that, completely unexpected like. The rest of the night was pretty uneventful, but a good time all around. Oh, my van's acting up! The heat isn't working right, and it keeps getting into the hot zone on the overheating gage thingy.. Whatever it is, I just hope it isn't expensive. Hubs is going to bring it in sat to get it checked out. Until then, I'm homebound. woo! I'm glad to be home bound for a bit. Enough of this running around shit!

Work, again. ugh.

2008-01-02T17:26:00.000-05:00

I'm back at work today. As if my 12 1/2 hours wasn't enough yesterday. gag. I'm still s l e e p y. At least I can read in peace here, w/o kids jumping all over me. I was hoping today I could hang out at home all day, and catch up on laundry and cleaning.. Not so much. My kids were going a bit stir crazy. I'm feeling a bit guilty for not spending too much time w/ them lately. So I took them out for lunch today, and to the mall. I didn't bring J's stroller today. First time ever going to the mall w/o a stroller. eekksss! She stayed by me, she didn't run off or anything. She just walked so effing s l o w! I think that makes me just as crazy as if she were to run all over the place. Man! I've got things to do! Who has time to just putt... along...... like.......a......snail....when......there....are.....places.....to....go...and.....people......to.....s..e...e........ bleak! boo! hehe. It's ok. I made it through. And I only turned red a little bit :) Enjoy your day all!

Where's my Trophy??

2008-01-01T12:50:00.001-05:00

Where’s my trophy??

I'm cool. Like super cool. Guess what happened this fantastic morning??????? I fell asleep on the couch last night, and never made it to bed. My hubs didn't think to wake me up this morning when he left for work either, which means, I OVERSLEPT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AHH!! I woke up to Avery yelling out the window "no, were not going to school yet. My mom forgot to wake up" Effing perfect! EEEEEKKKKKKKKKKKSSSSSSSSSS! oops. shit. She was yelling that to the carpool lady, the mom that's perfect. You know, always together, always has make-up on, and I bet she never raises her voice, or has a messy house. boo. oops. I suck. So really, where's my mom of the year trophy???? I can't figure out where the sonofabitch is..... :)

Happy Birthday my Avery.

2008-01-01T12:49:00.002-05:00

Happy Birthday my Avery :)

awww. My girl turned 6 today... I'm always a little sad when one of my kids turns another year older :( She's just that much closer to not needing me anymore. sigh...

Dear Avery,

Happy Birthday to my precious baby. I'm so proud of you, and all you've accomplished in your 6 years. You're such a kind, caring, helpful, funny, beautiful and considerate girl. I love how you LOVE to help me. Folding laundry, unloading the dishwasher, looking after Jade. I love how you're learning to read! You're soooo smart! You've enriched and blessed mommy and daddy's lives. You're an important part of our family. I love to watch you sleep. I love to watch you color. Your imagination is limitless, and I pray your life will be also. I thank God for you daily, and I pray that you will follow his path, all the days of your life. I love you w/ all of me. Happy Birthday tootie :)

Love,

Mommy

Sad Mama

2008-01-01T12:49:00.001-05:00

sad mama

SO...... I dropped Max and Avery off at school this morning... I was ok w/ dropping off Max, you know, big second grader and all, but my little Avery.... booo hooooo hoooooo! Kindergarten! Oh my! This morning, I thought I'd be ok, I'm tough. Sort of sick of them fighting, school will be GREAT for them. I get there, drop Max off to his teacher w/ a kiss, and a have a great day! Oh, and mind your manners. Get Avery to her little line.. The kindergartener's line up outside w/ their teacher, and wait together until the whole class arrives. Then they file in, with their shiny new shoes and backpacks. Cute little buggers. My plan was to hang out until their line went in. I couldn't do it. I started to get all emotional, and tears started to form. I had to quick give her a hug and a kiss, and get out of there before I really started to bawl! She could see that I was starting to cry, and looked alarmed. I didn't want to upset her, or freak her out. I told her I was fine, very proud of her, love you, be good, and have a really great day! Then I had to run. I didn't get more than a few steps away before the tears really came. I was crying my face off! And wouldn't you know I ran into at least 10 folks I knew on the way out. Good Grief. I'm such a softie. I can't believe she's 5, and in kindergarten! It went tooooooo fast! Where'd my baby go?? I'm so sad this morning :( I'm excited for her, but MAN, it's tough to let her go. Big new school.... New teacher. Oh dear. I wonder how awful I'll feel when my youngest gets there?? I had a hard time when Max went too. She'll be fine, I know. It's going to be great, I know. She's going to make new friends, and learn to read and write, I know. But the mother's heart in me broke a bit more this morning.

Penetrate...

2008-01-01T12:48:00.004-05:00

Penetrate...

Yep, that's right. That's what that says. Penetrate. So, last week, I'm sitting on the computer checking my email, and my kids are down here with me, watching shark week. You know, on the discovery channel?? They're really into that right now, planet earth, man vs. wild, they love it. So, I'm not really paying any attention, and all of a sudden, Max, my 7yr old, says "hey mom, what's penetrate mean?" I did one of those cough/choke/giggle things. Nervous giggle problem here. Anyway, trying not to give in to the panic I feel starting to swell, "Um, uh, well, how was the word used Max?" He says " one shark is pene-trating the other one" I glanced at the tv, and sure enough, the sharks are humping. Oh crap. I started to sweat. He's 7! What do I say! WHAT DO I SAY?!! I ran away. Stepped out to have a smoke. Broke out in hives. Giggled some more. Cripe! Called a girl friend for advice... My rule is that I always answer them honestly, as best as I can, at thier level... I don't lie. I try not to be shy about using proper terms, but geez! This is hard sometimes! I thought that maybe if I didn't answer him, he'd just forget. But then, it could and prlly would come out at a completely inappropriate time, like a family get together, a friends bday party, church... Better just to handle it. I'm so retarded folks. I hope I don't scar them for life. So, I came back downstairs, and brought it back up to Max, "uh, that word penetrate, it ummm.. well.. it's kind of weird. sort of like.. uh, planting a flower.... there's a boy shark, and a girl shark, and uh, the girl shark, has the flower, or the seed, let's say, and the boy shark, he has the water... so, he has to get together w/the girl shark, and water the flower, so that's what penetrate means, or what the sharks are doing." And he stares at me like I'm a flipping idiot. He just says "um.. ok mom, yeah, I get it, kind of" and I ran away again. I could have just given him the websters definition "to enter" but then he'd prlly ask what in the world one shark would enter another with and why, and it would have come out anyway..... ugh. terrible. The hives eventually subsided, but I still get the shivers when I think about it. Creeps me out. I don't like this getting older business... Silly little guy...

Gardening

2008-01-01T12:48:00.003-05:00

Gardening
Current mood: aggravated

I am NOT a talented gardner. As a matter of fact, it is one of my least favorite activites. I like to plant flowers, but the rest of it, forget it. BUT, it's that time of year... yard clean up and what not. Time to bust out the weed whacker, mower, clipers, and pull the effing weeds. I've been working on that this week. Today I decided to start the little landscaped area in the back yard. We planted these bushes a few years ago- I have no idea what they're called. Anyway, this one bush has gotten completely out of control. Over grown, and weeds were growing up in the middle of the thing. I thought I should cut it back some so I could clean out the under growth, and get better acess to the the weeds... .EFFING BUSH. This bush has to be from the devil. Looks pretty but the stupid thing is COVERED w/ razor sharp thorns. Little ones, that you can't really see. Not just on the little braches and leaves, but ALL OVER. Gardening gloves are shit. Those things didn't protect my hands at all. Millions of finger pokes. Everywhere. Hurt like hell. I can't remember the last time I swore so much. And the thorns are tough- they don't break off. GRRRR. So, instead of just trimming the bush back, I cut the effer down. Oops. Little carried away in my pain and gumpy-ness. I'm betting the stupid-effing-devil-bush will regenerate overnight just to piss me off some more.

Funny!

2008-01-01T12:48:00.001-05:00

Funny!
Current mood: amused

I was out shopping w/ my kids today. Max had to use the bathroom. I decided to let him go into the men's restroom, alone this time. No, not that I go in w/ him, but usually, we go to the family restroom, or he goes w/ hubs. He's too embarressed to go into the women's bathroom w/ me now. Anyway, so I'm waiting for him next to the door. He comes half way out, and says "hey mom? Can I have 3 quaters?" "Um, why do you need money max?" He continues "there's this machine in here, that sells stickers, and I want one." My wheels begin to turn. hmmmm. "uh, max? what does the machine say?" he says "its a con-da-min center. They look like stickers" OH MY GOODNESS!! It took all I had not to burst out into giggles. My SON wanted to buy condoms! hahahaha! He thought they were stickers! hahahahhahahahhahaha. Yep, I nearly died. You'd be proud though. I didn't let one little chuckle escape in his presence :) I told him we had stickers at home, we didn't really need any of 'those' kind of stickers. Te he he he he. Kids crack me up!

Hmmmmmm

2008-01-01T12:47:00.003-05:00

Hmmmm
Current mood: shocked

My 5 yr old was being very sweet. She was asking me if I was sad when she started to not be a baby anymore. Of course I was, but you're a really fantastic big kid too, I tell her. Then she puts her hands on either side of my face, kind of snuggles up to me, and says "mama, I really love you, and it makes me very sad that you're going to be sooooooo old soon. It's too bad mom."

Wtf? ouch. My little girl thinks that I'm about to hit the old lady phaze. Like I've already got one foot in a nursing home or some such nonsense. boooo. I AM NOT that old.

Kids for sale!

2008-01-01T12:47:00.001-05:00

Kids for Sale!!!

That's right friends, kids for sale indeed. Actually, how about FREE to a good home! 3 beautiful children, ages ranging from 1 1/2 to nearly 7. Don't let those adorable faces fool you though. 2 are potty trained, and all 3 come equipped w/ cute phrases such as "NO NO NO NO!", "I WANT A NEW MOMMY" and "I'M TELLING ON YOU!" All furniture, clothing, toys, and any other kid crap that is currently cluttering up my house is included! What a deal.... You know you want to.

UGH. Dammit. Ok, so I can't sell them or give them away. Let me tell you though, those little bastards are KILLING me today.

I may have to resort to drinking ;)

Happy New Year!

2008-01-01T12:19:00.000-05:00

Happy Happy New Year friends!! We had a good time last night. We went to dinner w/ friends (Logan's, mmmmmm), and headed over to another friend's house for a laid-back get together. It was nice. I couldn't drink last night, being that I had to be to work bright and early this morning, for a flipping 12 hour shift! whoa! I'll be here for-eva! So that's new... I've started working again. I'm working part time for the fabulous hotel now. It's weird going from 8 years of once or twice a month, to 20 hours a week. I like it. I'm really happy to be contributing to the family income again! My family is GREAT. Like really GREAT! Hubs and I had our 8 year anniversery a few months ago (OMG!), and our kids are fantastic. The baby is now 2 1/2, potty trained, AND in a big girl bed. Awww. The bed is a bit tricky... She just realized this week that she can get in and out of it. boo. Nap time is pretty much non-exsistent this week. boo again. GOSH! I'm just not ready to let her give up her naps. Not yet. Please. I need them. My son is now in second grade, and doing fabulous. He can read like what! Ave is now in kindergarten, aww. She's learning to read!!!!!!!!!!!! She's not getting it as easliy as Max did, but she's coming along. I've been blogging else where. Eeks! hehe. So, I'm going to transfer my other blog on to this one, lots of catching up to do :) I was going to do some sort of recap of 2007, but I honestly can't recall what in the H happened this year, or where time went. The whole year was a blur! We were WAY busy, and continue to be so. I'm really looking forward to taking a break. Like soon. I'm going to veg out in my fat pants and lay on the couch all weekend. mmmmmmmmmmmm... sounds delightful!

Anyone out there??

2007-12-20T16:01:00.001-05:00

OH MY WORD. I've forgotten about you little blog... I had to take a few guesses at what my password may have been, it's been toooooooooo long. I'm done neglecting you bloggies. I miss you. I have much to say, just no time to say so now. Soon, very soon!

~blue

been forever..

2007-07-02T13:42:00.000-04:00

Hello!!

I've not been here in forever and ever. My life has been boring at best. Not that there's anything wrong with that, there just isn't much to talk about. I'm really really really enjoying summer, now that it's finally here. Winter was rough here in MI. My kids are all fantastic! My youngest is now 2, talking, running, getting into everything, a fantastic little girl that gives me so much joy. Ave is starting kindergarten in the fall.. I can't believe how fast time is going. I think she's going to grow up to become a ninja. It's somewhat disturbing :) She caught 3 flies the other day, with her bare hands. Then she brought me a live bunny, and later that same day, a frog. Silly girl. My oldest will be starting 2nd grade in the fall. He can read sooooo well. Reading just happends to be my favorite pass time, and I couldn't be more excited about it. Hubs is good too. We're nearly up to our 8 year anniversery! Time is flying by for sure.
We leave for a camping trip this week, and I'm really looking forward to it! J never seems to sleep well camping tho, so I'm a bit worried about that. Why won't she get used to it already?? Wish me luck!

hello friends!

2007-03-01T08:31:00.000-05:00

Yep, I'm alive :) I miss y'all! Let me see.... Well, my girls have been sick on and off for effin EVER! I'm so ready to be done w/ this rotten weather. We had a giant blizzard a few weeks ago, snowed in for 3 days.. This morning I woke up to a thunder storm, in the middle of effin winter, and it was freezing rain! All the roads are a solid sheet of ice, which makes driving not so pleasent. AND, school was NOT cancelled. Jack asses!

I've gone down another size! woot woot! I haven't been trying to lose more weight, but I imagine things are shifting around or whatever. I started my weight loss, almost a year ago now. I still can't believe it! Last year, at this time, I was a tight size 14, and 186 pds. boooooooooooo. Now? I'm a size 6, and weigh 137 pds. Holy shit! woohooo! All that is still going well.

My bday is tomorrow!!! Happy birthday tooooo me.. We are going out to eat, and bowling w/ 20 or so friends. I'm excited about it! However, my hubs said I couldn't get my bday present for awhile, like a month! What is that shit? He won't even clue me into what it is. Bunk. At least give me a clue, something to get me excited...

I will try to blog some more. I've been neglecting it. I hope all of you are well :) You can always email me for a chat :) Jas! That means you! I don't have your email addy! DO it. You know you want to. Happy Weekend to you, and I'll be sure to update w/ birthday photos of a druken blue, having a friggin blast!!

Sick Girl

2007-02-01T09:00:00.000-05:00

Ave is sick... I think she has croup, but it's kind of hard to tell. When she was coughing last night, she sounded like a barking seal, but this morning.... Not so much. I hate it when I can't decide what to do. The doc office wants her to come in. Croup can go either way- sometimes you can treat it at home, and other times, you need an oral steroid to make it better. I can specifically remember posting something last year w/ the title "holy croup batman" but I have no idea which kid it was, or where in my archives it would be. Is there a way to search your archives w/o going through every single month?? It was prolly about her. I'll have to see. I dislike going into the doctor, and having them say 'it's a virus, nothing to do for it, now pay us our zillion dollars.' booooo. It doesn't seem that bad yet, but then on the other had, I don't want it to get terrible either. ugh. What to do. I'll go in and see what they say. I'll let ya'll know later this morning. Have a good one!

Ha! I found my Holy Croup Batman, and it makes me feel better about taking her to the doc. It was Jade, not Ave who had it. If you want to see it, here you go. By the way, I've forgotton how to put proper links in here, so you have to do the copy paste thing. I'm a loser :)
http://www2.blogger.com/posts.g?blogID=15115757&searchType=ALL&page=5

HI!

2007-01-31T14:06:00.000-05:00

My goodness, I haven't been here in awhile! I'm so sorry bloggies. I've been addicted to myspace recently. Ugh. I really need to stop playing w/ that website. I don't have much today- but remember the fly over I was talking about, from President Ford's funeral?? Here's a video clip of it. Its really cool! Check it out!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P7hk-5-K5a4

Belly Dancing

2007-01-15T13:29:00.000-05:00

I've determined that in order to stay fit, I must do something active/exercise-ish. The problem though, is that I effin HATE to exercise. In the summer, I rollerblade all the time, and swim just about everyday. Winter- pass. No thank you. I don't want to be outside in the nasty cold. Ok, so it hasn't been that cold in MI this winter, but whatever. I don't like to exercise. I've made up my mind to do it anyway. I found a belly dance work out. Ha! It's fun! I look like a complete ass doing so, but I can def. feel it working on my mid-section. I've come to the conclusion that I make an awful belly-dancer, but that's alright, no one can see me in my living room. I convinced hubs to try it with me. He said he'd be more than happy to make an ass out of himself w/ me :) What a guy. I so wish I could hide a hidden camara to catch that moment on tape. I betcha I could win an ass load of money off that!

Snow day today. Our weather has been really odd around here. It's hardly been cold at all, but both times it's gotten cold and snowed, school's been closed! Freezing rain both times. This entire week is going to be frigid.

Kids are all good. They've even been behaving themselves! Unreal! We've had very little naughty-ness. I think we're going on a new record over here.

Hubs and I have been wonderful too. Not that we aren't usually, but we've been having a really good time together as of late. We're on a cribbage kick. We've been playing non-stop it seems. He's been making me laugh, helping more around the house, and just being all around fabulous. Here's a tip for you husbands, when you crack your wife up, clean things w/o being asked, your wife's sex drive goes through the roof. You suddenly become so desireble, we can hardly help ourselves. My husband has never looked sexier, than when he's got his hands covered in bubbles from washing dishes :)

We had a GREAT weekend! We didn't do too much really. Had some friends over for dinner Friday night, and played games. Saturday I went out for lunch w/ my mama, and went shopping, and Saturday night, we took the kids to a Griffin's game (our local hockey team). We had a blast! The kids loved it. Sunday we were lazy most of the day, and we had our bowling leauge last night. Bowling was fun, as usual, but I'm still bowling like shit. Maybe someday....

I went bowling w/ some friends last week, and I didn't know everyone that was there. I was putting all of our names in the machine thingy, and asked this guy what his name was, so I could put it in. He said 'you can just put ass in.' I said 'ASS?' He says 'Yes, ASS.' I just kinda shook my head and said okaaayyy. Anyway, the letter A comes up. The guy, he asks 'whose A?" I say "that's you, Ass.' He's like "WHAT?! ASS! Why in the hell would you put Ass in there?!' "you told me to" I say, starting to giggle. Then he goes 'I didn't say ASS, I said S, the letter S, NOT ASS" hahahahahahahahah. I couldn't stop laughing. I honestly thought he said ass, even double checked w/ him. He was a good bowler too, so every time he got a strike, ASS would flash on and off the screen in HUGE letters. I'd start to laugh all over again each time that happened. HA!!! Silly silly fun :)

More Pictures!

2007-01-13T09:29:00.000-05:00

Here are some more NYE pics for you. I don't have many pictures of Hubs and I, and I LOVE this one. Enjoy :)

Isn't my hubs super hot?? Man, I love him.

Time to Move

2007-01-11T09:28:00.000-05:00

Oh my.. I haven't been here in a bit. There are so MANY things I'd like to tell you about, but I think I need to take my blog undercover. Does anyone know how to save all of my history/archives, but cancel this blog, so I can start another??? I would like to keep all of that stuff, but it really is time to move to another spot... Advice anyone??

Puke puke puke puke

2007-01-05T14:34:00.000-05:00

My girls had the stomach flu on Wed, my son has it today! G R O S S! At least its fairly mild. The funeral services for President Ford we're beautiful! The fly over was flippn' sweet, and the kids and I watched it from our deck. I'm short on time, as usual, so I'm pasting in some silly survery. Is spelt a word? Or should it be spelled???? Off tonight for bowl w/ some gf's, and hanging in w/ hubs tomorrow night. We haven't seen much of each other, and we need it. When ever we don't spend much time together, we get nit-picky, and grumpy w/ each other. Later!

And now, 45 of the most random things you never needed to know about ME :)

whats your name spelt backwards?: eulb

What did you do last night?: effin nothing! Read a book till I passed out

The last thing you downloaded onto your computer?: new soft ware for my cable modem

Have you ever licked a 9 volt battery?: yes! ouch!

Last time you swam in a pool?: Dec. 15, family christmas get together, at a local hotel.

What are you wearing?: Jeans, teeshirt, hoodie, socks & slippers.

How many cars have you owned?: Ha!! Like a million. I had biggest p.o.s's when I was in h.s. Let me count. 9, but I may have missed a few.

Type of music you dislike most?: opera, or death metal. Both creep me out!

Are you registered to vote?: Sure am

Do you have cable?: Are you kidding? I would die w/o Sprout to enterain the little ones.

What kind of computer do you use?: I don't have a computer. I use magic crayons.

Ever made a prank phone call?: Sure. Before caller ID was invented and screwed me over

You like anyone right now?: Yes, I like lots of people.

Would you go bungee jumping or sky diving?: NO WAY. You could die doing that!

Furthest place you ever traveled?: SanFran, Ca- or TX/NM

What's your favorite comic strip?: Archie

Do u know all the words to the national anthem?: of course I do!

Shower, morning or night?: Depends what's going on that day. Usually at night.

Best movie you've seen in the past month?: Charlotte's Web

Favorite pizza toppings?: Veggie!

Chips or popcorn?: popcorn, for sure

What cell phone provider do you have?: Verizon

Have you ever smoked peanut shells?: Daily, duh (WTF? Penut shells?!)

Have you ever been in a beauty pageant?: uh. no.

Orange Juice or apple?: apple

Who were the last people you sat at lunch with?: my kids, everyday

favorite chocolate bar?: Almond Joy

Who is your longest friend and how long?: K, 24 yrs

Last time you ate a homegrown tomato?: This past summer

Have you ever won a trophy?: NO- but I'm hoping to win one for bowling someday. I'm cool like dat.

Favorite arcade game?: Pac-Man

Ever ordered from an infomercial?: Sure have, only once.

Sprite or 7-UP?: Sprite

Have you ever had to wear a uniform to school/work?: Yep

Last thing you bought at Walgreens?: Some prescription

Ever thrown up in public?: yeah- ick

Would you prefer being a millionaire or finding true love?: Love over money, any day

Do you believe in love at first sight?: Yes I do

SPONGEBOB OR JIMMY NEUTRON?: WHO LIVES IN A PINEAPPLE UNDER THE SEA!!!

Did you have long hair as a young kid?: I've always had long hair, it's like my security blanket

What message is on your voicemail machine?: This is Misty, leave a message.

Where would you like to go right now?: Shopping w/ unlimited money

Whats the name of your pet?: Mike and Boo

What kind of back pack do you have, and what's in it?: I'm too OLD to have a back pack

What do you think about most?: My list of to-do's

Holy Line Batman!

2007-01-03T12:15:00.000-05:00

So, President Ford's body has been hanging out in dntn Grand Rapids for the last 24 hours. I never expected this to be such a big deal. Grand Rapids isn't an interesting city, nothing 'big' or noteworthy ever happens here. The line to go see President Ford's body, had 60,000 people in it. 60,000! WHO does that? Obviously, everyone! Except me. I have no desire to wait in line for 8 flippn' hours w/ 3 small children. I just can't get over the hullabaloo. I'll go see his grave site after it settles down around here. There have been some really cool things happening though, b/c of the funeral. Today there will be a cannon shooting. There has been a banner at the bottom of the TV all of last night and today, asking that nearby residents turn off all car alarms at 330 today, b/c the cannon could cause them to go off, and that would mess up the quiet of the moment. There will also be 21 fighter jets that will fly over the Grand River today. I hope we get to see them from here! I live 8 miles south of downtown, where all the action is, and 5? miles from the airport. The city and 'burbs are crawling w/ people. Unreal! It was kind of cool watching Larry King Live last night, and seeing all the live shots of my home town, and listening to all the Grand Rapids, MI refrecens. Very cool. I'll be hanging out on the deck this afternoon, trying to catch a glimpse of the sweet-ass fighter jets. I'd love to be able to drive a bit closer to dntn, but both my girls have the stomach flu today. Ick. I hope it's short lived, and that the rest of us are able to stay healthy! If you're able, tune into the news today!

Dead Presidents...

2007-01-02T13:03:00.000-05:00

I'm sure you've all seen the unending coverage of President Ford's funeral and what nots. His home town is Grand Rapids, MI. My home town, and where I currently reside. What a big to do! Some of its cool- but his poor family. Having to run all over the country, and sit and grieve in funeral after funeral. Man, that has to be tough! Our city has been crawling w/ news crews and secret service agents. Roads are closing. We just had an awesome fly by of fighter jets though. We'll have more of that later. I guess that Rumsfield and Cheny will be doing a fly by as well. My kids are excited about all the goings on, and want to go dntn today where all the action is. Hmmm. History in the making. 3 little kids, and no parking. I think I'll pass. We live close to the airport though, so we should be able to see all of the planes coming and going. Maybe when it gets closer, we'll drive over by the airport on the back roads to get a better view. Why do they have ceremonies at the airport? Weird.

All else is well here. A goes back to school tomorrow :( Already. Short Christmas vacation for her. M still has till next week. Oh, and J threw up this morning. Awesome. The stomach flu has been knocking people down all over west MI in the last few weeks. I've been continually praying that my family would not get it. We'll see. It was just a small puke, and she's in good spirits, so I hope its just a fluke. Is that even the right word? Eh, you know what i mean.

Talk to you soon bloggies!

Happy New Year!

2007-01-01T11:24:00.000-05:00

We had a flippn ball last night! We went to a dueling panio bar w/ some friends. It was great! I laughed so hard last night, that my face hurt and I nearly peed. I'm going to try to post a flickr badge w/i this post- we'll see if it works. I'll post again soon w/ all the details of my last few weeks. Oh, just a side note. Know how when you buy a new outfit, you feel all cute? Then you get the pictures back, and um.. yeah, not so cute. I had that issues w/ my NYE dress. boooo!
Ok, that's not going to work... I'll add the badge to the side, so you can check out my holidays :)

Happy Holidays!!

2006-12-28T18:03:00.000-05:00

My goodness! It HAS been awhile. Much too much happening in the blue house. I switched to the 'new' blogger today, and it took f o r e v e r! So now, I'm out of time. I'm so impressed w/ my crafty self, I took of picture of my Christmas cookie creation. Love it! I know you do. I'll be back, when I have some more time!!

xoxox

blue

go figure.

2006-12-18T12:00:00.000-05:00

We had a really great weekend w/ hubs family. J wouldn't sleep on Friday night though, at all. That was terrible. I was ready to go home around 4 am. Hubs talked me into to staying though, and I'm glad I did. When she was up and running around, she was in the best mood ever, go figure. Weird baby. She didn't want to take a nap on Saturday either, so we let her play. She fell asleep, old man style. Sitting straight up, in a big chair. She was doing that head drop to the side thing. I had to yell out for hubs to catch her, before she fell on her head. She slept for about 10 minutes then. I put her in the car that night around 730, and drove around till she fell asleep. She slept all night long. Thank Goodness!
We left the hotel at noon on sunday, ran home and put the kids down for a 2 hr nap. Got them up, dropped them off at my gf's house, and went bowling. I bowled terrible! Seems like I'm getting worse every week now, instead of better. booooooo. From bowling, we picked up the kids, brought them home, got ready, and took off again, leaving the kids w/ a sitter. We went to our friend's christmas party. They were having a casino night for their party, so I was the horse race wheel spinner, and hubs was a card dealer. That was fun! We had a good time.
I was soooo tired when we got home last night, I couldn't wait to crawl into my own bed. I never sleep well other places. I didn't want to get up this morning, for anything. It was wicked hard dragging my ass out of bed and getting my kids up and ready for school. Ugh. I was feeding J a bowl of cerel, and I'm not at all sure what I did, like I said, I was dog tired-anyway, whatever I did, caused the bowl of COLD cerel I was holding, to completely flip over, and land ALL OVER ME! Including my face and head. WTF? The bowl of cerel wasn't even that big! That got me up and moving for sure. I hardly had time to jump in the shower before running out the door.
The rest of this week is going to be busy as ever. The week before Christmas, Ave's bday, christmas parties. Tonight we have a bday party to go to, tomorrow is ave's actual bday, wed is my work Christmas party (12-5pm btw, wtf? who does that), Thursday is the kids last day of school, Friday out w/ friends, restful saturday, annul christmas eve party w/ friends and kids on sunday, and MONDAY is christmas! My word, its going to be insane. Have I mentioned that my family (all of them) are coming for christmas day? Pssshhhh. You know what that means. In the midst of all this insanity, I have to keep my house in order, wrap a million presents, and cook an ass load of food. Ahhh!! I'm going to need a very long break when this week is over.
And here is my biggest go figure moment. Remember I lost my damn camera? And my very thoughtful hubby JUST gave me a new one, what, 4 days ago?? Yep, found it today. I was cleaning out cupboards, ones I've already checked for the stupid camera. And there it was. Ha! That's just the way life goes, isn't it? Go out of the house looking awful, run into your first love, or the boyfriend that jilted you the worst, or perhaps, buy something new to replace something broken or lost, the old thing will be fixed or found. lol. Funny funny.
Tomorrow my girl will be 5. Snif snif. Time is slipping away from me. My babies are growing, and becoming so independent. Happy and sad, all at the same time :) Oh, and some pictures for you, from my NEW camera!! woot woot!

C R A B B Y

2006-12-14T09:17:00.000-05:00

Here are a few pictures of me and my fantastic girlfriends being very silly. We were having a heck of a good time the other night :) I'm hoping those pics will inspire me today. I'm super-duper effin crabby! Geesh. I wish my period would just get here already, so my moods will level out. I went to Target this morning to pick up some things, and J screamed through the whole dog gone store. I wanted to throw her. I have lots of things to do today. I have 2 loads of laundry to fold, find a mysterious odor that's floating in my house, bake 4 doz cookies, 2 doz cupcakes, and my normal everyday cleaning crap. Bah! I must also get to the grocery store, and wrap a few more presents. We have our hotel weekend this weekend, w/ hubs family for christmas. I'm looking forward to going, but not forward to all the stuff I need to take care of before I get there. booooooo. hisssss. I'm hoping my crabby-ness will disappear as I start accomplishing all that needs to be done. I certainly hope so. I don't even like hanging out w/ myself when I feel this way. Ick.

I'm still here...

2006-12-13T16:33:00.000-05:00

Here's a picture of me and my son at the fabulous Bounce Party. He refuses to get a hair cut at the moment. He wants to grow it out. I'm sure it'll be great when it gets long, but for now, ick. This picture was taken this past Sunday. SPEAKING of pictures!! Guess What!! My fantastic hubby bought me a new camera! I'm still learning how to use it, but as soon as I figure it all out, I'll be posting MILLIONS of pictures. I'm so excited!! The camera is actually a Chrismas present, but he thought I'd like it early w/ all of the parties and what not we have coming up. Yay! Its very nice.
Not much new is happening over here. Kids are good. I'm good. Hubs is good. hm. I suppose I could tell you about lots of stuff, but I'm just not in the mood for it. Just a picture for you today :)

Adventures and Potty Training

2006-12-03T11:24:00.000-05:00

It's been an interesting week around here. Friday night I went to a spa party deal w/ my friend Carmen. My feet are super soft now. Yay! After the spa, we played Bunko for the first time. Have you ever heard of Bunko? Its a silly mindless dice game, that seems to be a stay at home mom thing to play. I wasn't sure if I'd like it or not, but it was fun! I did indeed enjoy myself. As did Carmen, she won! Loser :) We didn't get done playing Bunko till nearly 11, and became inspired to go pick up our other friend, hootie, and go get a beer. We went to our normal place, bummed into some friends, good times all around. There is a guy that we've been talking to for a while now, and somehow, we started talking about bowling- being that its one of my great loves these days. He is also a bowler, not only that, but he owns the bowling alley across from our watering whole. He said anytime I wanted to practice, or get some tips, to come on over. By this time, its at least 130am. I thought that bowling right then, would be perfect. We went bowling! At 2 am! woohoo! Thankfully, my ball was in my car, grabbed it and wandered over w/ 6 friends. The midnight game was just finshing up when we came in. Geesh, that guy looks familiar. HOLY CRAP! It's my buddy Dillion!! I haven't seen him in 2 years or more. Yay! He's just moved back home from CO. We were friends in high school, but not great friends until after we graduated. Loser didn't come to the reunion. We used to hang out all the time. Daily, up until I started dating hubs. You know what's funny, here's how little I paid attention in high school. I was Dillion's house one night, checking out his room. There was a team picture of our football team. I was like 'oh, I didn't know you played football.' The very next picture plaque on his wall says 'Dillion capt of the football team' blah blah years something or other. Ha!! How funny! Shows what I know. te he he. Anyhow, it was GREAT to see him. What are the odds of that? Bowling at 2 am and running into your long lost friend. Psssssshhha. I didn't think to call hubby when we decided to go bowling, I just figured he was sleeping or something. Oops. My phone rang at 315- he wanted to know what I was doing. 'uh, funny story babe, i'm uh, you know, bowling.' hehehe. He wasn't upset. I was super tired when I got home, and of course, no sleeping in for me. That'll teach me to bowl all damn night.

I'm a bit sad this week. I've started the process of potty-training Jade. I don't want to do it. I don't mind diapers, and its the last little bit of baby in her. She's ready. She no longer wants to keep her diaper on. As soon as she wets, she takes it off. Her choice, not mine. boooo. Ave was the same way, and actually a month younger when we started training (18 months). She was done by 21 months or something like that. It's been awhile. I can't remember what I'm suppose to do. We pulled out the little potty, bought training pants and m&m's. For now, I'm sitting her on the potty every hour and a 1/2 or so, and give her an m&m to keep her there. She wearing little panties and training pants. She looks so cute in little elmo panties :) She went pee pee on the potty yesterday, only a little bit though, like she did it on accident. I still made a big woohoooo to do about it. That was the only time though. I don't know if it'll happen or not. I'm not in a hurry, and just watching her for clues. How do you get them to relize the sensation before it happens, and give them the words to let you know? She doesn't say wet, or poo poo yet, but she for sure knows when she goes. I'm going to let her watch me and avery for the next few days, and see what happens. I'm just so sad about it. She is my very last baby. I don't want her to grow up yet. Its been too fast, too quick. I don't feel like I've enjoyed it as much, or taken as much time to savor it as I should have. So very sad. I'm crying about it now. I miss nursing, and bottles, those things have been gone for a long time now, only this little last thing remains. I feel like once she's out of diapers, she on her way to being a big kid, an all out toddler. No more my little baby. In the last 3 weeks, she's gotten out of the house, out of the crib, and now she wants out of her diapers. I'm not ready! Wait for me baby, take your time a little bit. My heart is just breaking over this. I know it prly sounds silly. I can't help it though. There are exciting things in store for our family, things we wouldn't be able to do before, or more freedom. I have such a raging need to keep this baby stage going, or have another. I LOVE being a mommy, I love to nurture them, teach them things, see them learn, nurse them, rock them..... Many of those things continue, but its just something about babies. It would not be in the best intrest for me, or my family to have another, and I won't, but it hurts. Deep inside, it hurts. Knowing I have the ability to make life, give life, and giving it up freely is painful for me. I'm so young still. I could have babies for another 15 years if I wanted. I know that I will not have more. Financially, space, time- those things are important, and we're kind of maxed out in those areas. But that urge, that overwhelming need, is hard to get rid of, or let go. I know I'll be filled w/ great joy, to see her grow, and change, and learn, become her own person, as I have w/ my other kids. I still cry on thier birthdays too. Not b/c I don't want them to age or grow, but for another year past. My baby days are ending... and I'm broken hearted about it.

Morning

2006-11-28T12:56:00.000-05:00

Yesterday was a good day. No kid issues, for once. Everyone stayed where they were suppose to, and we had no injuries. I need to start one of those saftey chart things, like they have at factories. You know, no accidents or injuries for so many days, and if you make it, you can have a quartly pizza party. Maybe that would intice my children not to do silly things like escape the house, crib, shut fingers in doors, try to be superman.

Jade is talking so much. I absolutely LOVE this stage. Well, beside the escaping and getting into everything. It seems that every time I look at her, I can see her brain working, figuring things out, and how to express them. Its the best! We've been out of juice for a few days, so I stopped to pick some up this morning. I filled up her sippy cup, and she was sooo excited. She drank it all down, and then came running to me, saying "myyyy myyyy myyyyyyyyy". I said "do you mean MORE?" She said "yesth. yay!!!!" and clapped her hands. It was the cutest stinking thing I've ever seen. Aww. Big Girl. When I got her up, and walked into her room, she said "hi dade" w/ a huge smile. Dade would be how she says her own name. Funny that she would greet me w/ what I say to her every morning. Logical. Cute as a friggn' button I tell you. Adorable. Good reminder why I love them so desperately after a horrible week :)

I went out last night. Good Monday fun. Did a bit of kareoke. I sang 'family tradition' by Hank Williams Jr, and The Doors "touch me". woohoo! I'm a horrid singer, but that's what makes kareoke fantastic. I didn't have to drive last night, so I was able to have a few drinks. Or more than a few. Ooops. Good times all around. I have the best time w/ my gf's. I think we'd have a riot in a cardboard box even :D

My step dad is having back surgery today. Right now, actually. I hope everything goes as planned, and they do not find anything unexpected in there. He's been in terrible pain forever now, and put this off much longer than he should have. I'm not exactly sure what he's having done, something to do w/ a herniated disk, and removing a bone or something? They were unsure if there was anything else going on in there. He'll be in the hospital a few days, and then recovery is 6-8 weeks. He's a get up and go kinda guy, so its going to be tough for him to lay back for long. I feel like a douche bag for not being up there while its being done though :( When someone in our family is having surgery, generally a bunch of us show up. I should be there. Kids, naps, whatnots, just couldn't make it happen today. I'm waiting by the phone for my mom to call and let me know how things went, and hubs and I and kids will head up to the hospital to see him tonight.

Today is my first day babysitting my new little nefew!! Chicken is dropping him off in a 1/2 hour or so. I can't wait to play w/ him. He's started cooing and smiling. I'm looking forward to it.

Just another random thought. I want another tattoo. Something to include my hubs, and maybe my faith. Hubs won't let me get a tattoo w/ his name in any form. He says that just asking for trouble. I guess for some reason, when you tattoo your spouse's name anywhere on your being, you brake up, or so he thinks. I wasn't thinking anything big and tacky, maybe just smallish, and on my back somewhere. Maybe I could get something to do w/ my kids too. It has to be cute though, and smaller. B/c he won't let me use his name in any form, I'm kind of liking that bible verse " i am my beloveds, and my beloved is mine" But I don't think I'd want it written out like that. Anyone any kind of artist? Ideas??

Great Weekend!

2006-11-27T11:57:00.000-05:00

Thanksgiving was lovely. Lots of delicious food, and family. J broke my one of my grandma's knick-knack thingy's, and cut her fingers :( Weird how that happens w/ 3 adult males in the room. Hmmmmm. She was ok though.
Friday morning, I woke up around 4am, to brave the traffic and the crowds for the best deals. MAN, did I get some good ass deals! We are trying to save $$ this Christmas, and that really helped! I'm nearly completey done shopping now. I hope to get the rest of it finished this next week. I even wrapped them already! Now If we could get our tree up.....
Saturday night was my high school reunion. It was fun! Well, not at first. At first it was lame. Interesting to see so many classmates. Most of them look exactly the same. Except the guys. Geesh. Facial hair, balding, bellies... hehe. We played some trivia games, like who won what for our senior mock elections, and what was the top selling album and movies of 1996, that sort of thing. Dinner was good. The class that graduated behind us also had their reunion that night. When the place closed down, we all went to a bar w/ the other class, and that's when the fun began. I think we should have just gone to the bar to begin with. Much less formal and stuffy. WAY more fun. I had some friends that I had lost touch with, and kind of forgotten until seeing them again. I must add that it was flippn' fantastic going w/ my new shape. I got lots of compliments, and it felt really really good. My hubs got more compliments about me than I did, which was cool as well. woohoo! I dressed up, did my hair, put make up on. I don't do that nearly often enough. Great fun!
OH, I nearly forgot to tell you of my baby girl's latest escape. Yes, she escaped again, but not out of the house this time, but her crib. I went to get her up from her nap, and she wasn't in her crib. She was sitting on Max's top bunk! Ahhh! Hard to keep her safe when I don't know she's in danger. I think I need to hire an armed securtiy gaurd to watch her while she's suppose to be sleeping. That baby is going to make my hair fall out. And, Ave shut her pinky (jade's pinky) in the door this weekend. I thought it was broken. My goodness! i was pissed! Do you remember the cat incident?? Avery knows better than to slam doors, and this time she got jade's fiinger. Grr! Thankfully, all is well. Her finger is still swollen, but I don't think broken. She's not protective of it, and she's using it.
My gosh. My children are friggn' NUTS.

Happy Thanksgiving Bitches!

2006-11-22T15:29:00.000-05:00

You've seen this picture before, but I just felt like a little baby smile today. It's too cute not to see again :) She's such a doll baby. Escape artist.

Today has been good. Busy as always. I went to the grocery store today, MAN, what a zoo! Millions of people, lines. Ugh. I should have known better. I had to get stuff to make for my side dishes tomorrow. Mmmmm. We're going to grandma's. I'm looking forward to it. I like hanging out w/ my family. Ave wanted to bring a game for us all to play. Guess what she picked? Twister. LOL! Sweet! I can't wait to see all of the grandma and grandpa's try to play that. hahaha. I'll make Chicken take pictures to post.

We're having a big poker game tonight. We haven't had one here in forever, and I'm looking forward to it. I'm betting it'll be lots of fun. Even if I lose. I'm in such a fab mood today, I don't think anything could bring me down. Woohoo.

My friend Carmen has joined blog world. Go say hello to her. I'm sure you'll grow to love her as much as I do :) She's the best!

Enjoy your holiday! Talk to you soon bloggies :)

2006-11-21T13:17:00.000-05:00

I went and had my hair done this morning. Ah. Much better. I was going to post this morning, but now I'm glad I didn't. I was pissed earlier! My mood lifted greatly, along w/my hair color :) Nothing went right this morning. Oh, but the good news first. Yay! My period has arrived. Woohoo! It has been consistently 5 days early for the last 3 months, up until this one, where it was 3 days late. Yikes. Glad that it's here!!!!

I had to work last night, and after work, I met up w/ some friends for a drink. When I arrived home, every light in the damn house was on. Pet peeve of mine. I hate that! Besides every light being on, including all of the lights in the basement(grrrrr), the house was t r a s h e d! The dinner I had so thoughtfully perpared ahead of time for my family, was still sitting in the crock pot, untouched. Frozen pizza box on the counter. Grr again. Hubs was sleeping on the living room floor, amongst the chaos, and the baby was crying. NOT pleasant to come home to. At. All. Both of the older kids were asleep in MY bed, also a pet peeve. I was ticked! Moved the older kids, turned off all the stupid lights, and took care of the baby, finally getting to bed myself, 45 minutes later. When hubs woke me up this morning, I let him know, in a very clam even voice might I add, that I was unhappy w/ how things were when I came home, and letting the dinner I made go to waste. He got mad at me! Yelled at me about how my dinner smelled, and how he didn't like it. FIRST of all, he didn't even try it, AND, he's had it before and liked it just fine. I of course said none of this. After he YELLED at me about my lacking culinary skills, in a normal voice, he said "have a good day." I did not respond, I was mad! So then he says 'are you going to talk to me' all pissy like, and I just said 'no', so then he stomped out of the house. Not a good way to start the morning. When he left, I got the kids up and ready for school. My son was cranky, and bitching about e v e r y t h i n g. Poking at his sisters, just being a snot. After I dropped him off at school, I ran to Target. J was fussy the whole time, and Ave asked me sooooo many rediculous questions, that I lost track. I don't think she took a breath for an hour, non stop "mom, can I have this? what are we doing later? are you going to do this? do you know what santa said? can I get this? what's that for?" and on and on and on and on and on. Finally, leaving the store, I was pulling one of those big carts, the kind that have the bench/seat thing on the front of it for older kids, and carrying Jade w/ me. The cart got stuck on the way out to the parking lot, in the last door. This very helpful lady gave the cart a push for me, but I didn't know the push was coming, and the cart hit the back of my leg, right above my heel, and peeled all my friggin' skin off! OUCH! I had to bite my lip to keep from swearing or crying. OUCH OUCH OUCH, along w/ a colorful blue streak of curses went through my head. Phew. Get the girls in the car, sit down to drive home, and OH MY GOODNESS!! I have to poop! Like right now. Oh no!! I only live 5 minutes away from the store, and there was NO WAY in HELL I wanted to venture back into that store w/ my crabby baby and never-shut-up daughter. I was really trying to concentrate on driving, quickly. Ave was getting more retarded and insistent w/ her never ending questions. I was starting to sweat. I just wanted to yell 'can you please shut up! I'm on the verge of shitting my pants here! Damn, can't a momma get a minute of peace?!?!" Praise the lord, I made it home w/o an sort of unfortuante or nasty incident. Awful. From that point on, the day got better. Good thing. I'm looking forward to getting a bunch of housework done this afternoon...

Just a side note. When I was out last night, one of my gf's was giving me a hard time, being silly. She asked for my license and registration in her best cop voice, duh, I'm sober, no worries, I'm fine. Then this old creepy guy next to her thought he'd get in on the joke, and asked me if I'd like to do a blow right now. He was referring to a blow test, but doing it in a really creepy, old man gross kind of way. Yuck! I replied 'better watch out old man before I knock out what's left of your teeth." Some people. nasty.

Also side note. My 4 yr old told my 6 yr old to shut his pie hole. Isn't that nice? Such cute children I have.

Tooth Fairy

2006-11-20T10:09:00.000-05:00

I got to play tooth fairy for the very first time this weekend! Max lost his first tooth. Aww. He's getting so old..... It was fun trying to sneak in his room w/o waking him or Jade up. He was thrilled when he found a dollar under his pillow the next morning. He wanted 5. what? I think I only got a quater. He asked me if the tooth fairy would leave him 5 bucks. How about no. He's home from school today w/ an upset stomach. I think he's full of it! You never know though, so i let him stay home, telling him that he must lay down and rest all day. See if he wants to pull that stunt again!

Hubs is home. YAY! I missed him very much. I don't sleep well without him beside me. He didn't get a deer though, so for the next 3 weekends, off he goes :(

The weekend was good. I went to a comedy club w/ some gf's Friday night, and laughed my fool head off. Those comedians were F U N N Y! It was great to do something different than our normal. Saturday I was in bed by 10- pooped out. Yesterday went to church, then a family get together, then bowling leauge. I bowled terrible last night! I couldn't do anything right. Argh. Better luck next time.

My period is now 3 days late. Son of a bitch. I do not for any reason wish to be pregnant at this time, or ever again really. Hubs and I are careful, we use protection. We haven't had any mishaps that I can recall... I hope its just screwed up still, not that I'm pregnant. Keep your fingers crossed for me. If I am by chance, then its meant to be, but dammit, I don't wanna. I would get used to the idea, and eventually be ok w/ it. But if I had my way, I wouldn't be pregnant at all. poop. I'm going to wait until the weekend before I take a test. Hopefully before then, it will come.

Off to change a diaper, and catch up on laundry. Hope your day is as exciting as mine!

Where's My Trophy?

2006-11-18T10:50:00.000-05:00

I called this blog mom of the year, b/c I'm soooo not. I have my best mom ever moments when I completely screw up, or lose it, which happens all the time. I'm not new at this mom thing, you'd think I'd have it figured out by now. But I don't. I'm still trying to feel my way, and figure things out. I make mistakes, all the time. I know I'm not the only one. All mom's have their moments, proud or not. Thankfully, I'm not a celebrity, so all of my mis-steps are not caught on camera for the world to see. It helps to talk about them. I had such a moment yesterday. Loser mom. At least now I know. SO- my hubs has been gone all week. Generally, when I need a shower, I'll do it before the kids wake up, or after they go to bed. Unfortunately, I wasn't able to do that yesterday. I needed a damn shower! My son was gone, but both girls were here, and awake. I've gotten it down pat, where I can be in and out of the shower in 8 minutes flat. I closed all the doors to the bedrooms and basement, and told Ave that I was going to take a quick shower, make sure you leave the doors all closed, and holler if you need me. The marathon shower began, 8 minutes or less, I was out of there. I walked into the living room, ofcourse still in my towel, dripping wet, to check the status of my girls. Just Avery. "Avery, where is your sister?" I'm not alarmed yet. She said she didn't know, but maybe she was down stairs. What? How did she get down stairs?!? That door was closed! I run to the steps, Jade isn't down there, it's pitch dark. I turn around, and notice that the door leading out to the garage is open. Oh shit!!! I run into the garage, and see that the door leading out to the driveway/front yard is open. OH MY GOD! My panic attack hits at this point, tears are flowing, heart is beating so fast. I fly out into the front yard, panting and crying, and see my little baby, IN THE ROAD! AHHHHHHHAHHH! One of my neighboors, another mom, had seen her and jumped out of her car to pick her up. Thank God! I run to the street and take my baby from the lady, crying, saying thanks, dripping wet, and only covered by a not-quite-large-enough towel. Geez. What that woman must think! I cannot believe that that happened. It took me some time to calm down after that. She could have been run over, or lost, or stolen. All in just a few minutes. Ave refused to fess up that she opened the doors. I needed to know for sure. If Jade can open doors already, we need to get some stuff, door knob protectors, or a hook latch thingy placed up high. She admitted that she did do it, eventually, but why she did it is still a mystery. I don't know if she wanted to get something out of the garage, and just forgot to shut the door, or if she did it on purpose. Who knows. It was my mistake. I should have known better. Trial and error. Mis-steps and mistakes. I wonder if I'll ever get it down pat, and be the mom that never screws up. Whom always has a clean house, and make up on. Whose kids never disobey, or display temper tantrums. Now where is my mom of the year trophy?

Lots of Stuff

2006-11-16T09:17:00.000-05:00

Nothing is new w/ my sister/cousin situation. We've called different labs and dna places to figure out how it all works. I think my dad is going to pay for the testing, which, might I add, is the LEAST he can do. Rotten. I think finding out is going to have to wait till after the holidays are over....

My hubs is gone :( He's off hunting. He left on Tuesday, and isn't suppose to be home until Sunday. I don't like it when he's gone- I get lonely. My gf is staying w/ me for a few nights though. Her hubs is hunting as well, so she's bunking here. Having someone here is great, not too mention the x-tra hands w/ my kids.

I had a major meltdown the other day. I don't think I've cried like that in years! I must have been stock piling or something. I worked really hard that day, busted my ass cleaning, I really went above and beyond my normal stuff. I was running all day. It was the day that hubs was leaving to go up north. Also, his birthday. I ran clear across town to pick up his favorite cake, and also his favorite meal from the grocery store. Jade was super crabby that day, constantly whining, wanting to be held. Max and Ave were picking at each other and bickering, so I was getting irritated. I wanted everything to be perfect for hubs. I had dinner on the table and ready when he came in from work, had his cake set up w/ his card, and favorite candy. The kids were hiding when he came in, and they jumped up to yell 'surprise daddy!' He was on the phone, and didn't really notice. Boooo. He sat down to eat, still on the phone. He wasn't being completely rude, at least not on purpose, but his brain was already at deer camp. Max had a program that night also, and I was a little bitter that hubs was leaving for deer camp before it, when he very well could have stayed until after. Opening day wasn't until the next morning. So what if its dark. He was excited though- blah. I didn't want to ruin it for him, so I was going w/ the flow. He was rushing around trying to get all of his shit together, meanwhile, all the kids are bitching, I need a shower, everyone is crying, and he isn't helping. I nearly cried then, but I held it back. Hubs finally made a comment about the house looking nice, and dinner being good, and thank you for the cake. He really wasn't doing anything wrong at all, it just wasn't what I had imagined happening. Anyway, I jumped in the shower quickly, then hurried to dress myself. Ofcourse, kids still crabby, hubs leaves, and I'm running late. When I get to the place for the program, I relize that I gave both my parents, and my grandma the wrong directions. They were suppose to turn the other way. S H I T. Right about then, my cell rings, its my step dad. I explained the mishap, and he didn't get it. Explain again. I'm getting Pissed! Finally, just let me talk to mom. Cell beeps. It's grandma, in her very stern, disappointed tone "NOW WHERE IN THE WORLD IS THIS PLACE!!!" I say 'sorry grandma, my mistake, you have to turn the other way" She yells over me talking "NOW YOU TOLD ME- IT WAS RIGHT BLAH BLAH"- Now I'm flippn angry and very near tears, mind you, baby is crying/screaming this whole time. So I say"I KNOW WHAT I TOLD YOU MY MISTAKE! GO THE OTHER DAMN WAY! I'M A BIT STRESSED RIGHT NOW AND CAN'T HANDLE THIS CRAP!" and click. Hung up w/o waiting for her reply, meanwhile, mom's still on the other line. Mom says"Where are you sitting, did you save us seats?!" I still in the fucking car w/ my screaming kid. UGH. Finally get to the place, find the auditorim, see my inlaws, and sit. Parents come in, flag them down, and sit again. Fucking cell phone is ringing, 3 calls in a row, grandma. I ignore it. Max has been really excited about this program for the last 3 weeks, talking about it everyday, he wouldn't even tell me what songs he was singing, he wanted it to be a surprise. Aww. It was important to him. K, lights go down, program starts, and Jade starts screaming. You've got to be kidding! Fuck me. I take Jade in the hallway to walk around a bit, max wouldn't be on till later. After 10 minutes of walking around, I pick her up to go back to the room, and wouldn't you know it, poop explosion. Poop everywhere. Dammit. Find a place to change her, which isn't easy in a ginormus high school. Girls locker room floor. I'm changing her, and the entire time, she's kicking, crying, throwing her head around. Terrible. 15 minutes later, I head back to the room. I walk up to my seat, and see my mom and grandma exchange looks and nods, like "yep, she's being a bitch" Grr. Can't I have a bad day? Don't they have days where just everything goes wrong?!?! I was very close to falling over the edge. I ask if Max is up now, and I get "You just missed him. He just walked off the stage" OH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! This was so important to him! I missed it! Ahhh! I lost it. Asked my parents to drop off max and avery off after it was over, and hustled out of there. I was bawling before I got to the car. Sobbing. Like the kind where you can't breathe, and you get the hiccups. I couldn't stop. It was awful. All of the disappointment of hubs departure, busting my ass, kids crabby, running late, bitchy grandma, exciting program, poop mess, crabby baby, all of it, and I miss it. I had body-rocking sobs for at least 35 minutes. I was soooo sad. I can't remember the last time I was that upset. All of the stuff that happened that day were small, but it was one right after the other, and I couldn't take it. After my fit was over, I felt much better. I hope that doesn't happen again anytime soon. Phew, that was rough. Since then, I've been great, and kids have been much much better.

What else?? Physco Judy girl was at the bar again this last monday. Ewwww. I did my very best to be unfriendly, w/o being flat out rude, and she finally took off. Thank Goodness. I hope to never see her again. She creeps me out. If you don't know who i'm talking about, check out my post from last tuesday- yikes.

Went out for hubs bday last weekend and had a blast! We went out for apps and a few cocktails, then headed down to the bowling alley w/ 20 of our friends. So much fun!!! We have such great friends, I'm so glad that they could be there, and help us celebrate. Hubs felt really special :)

I still haven't told you about our weekend away. I'll get to that later this week. I must go get some stuff done. My baby is STILL sleeping. That's nuts. She never ever ever sleeps this late. Its 945!! Being that my friend is here, I didn't have to get her up to take Max to school today. woot woot! Makes me paranoid still. I need to go poke my head in there. Have a good day all!

Whose Your Daddy?

2006-11-09T08:23:00.000-05:00

Yesterday, my life suddenly became a Jerry Springer episode. My dad is Tom, who has a fraternal twin, Tim. My mom's best friend had a baby, 25 years ago, Dweller, by Tim. Which makes Dweller my cousin. Tim has always refused to have anything at all to do wither her. A blood test was done to determine paternity 15 years ago, saying that Tim was 90% something dwellers dad. Even still, he's refused to have anything to do with her. We never knew why until yesterday. He firmly, whole heartedly believes that Tom (my dad), Not him, fathered dweller. Being that they are twins, even though not identical, there is a possiblity that it could be true. It may just be, that the gal I've always loved and known as my cousin, is in fact, my sister. This came from my Uncle Tim. Dweller and I made phone calls to our moms yesterday, and other family members to try to get a better idea of a time line, and whom was where when she was concieved. The time line also agrees that Tom should be her dad. BUT, being as they are not identical, it is only a small possibilty. We went to my dad's last night to ask him about it. Awkward. I just came right out with it. "Dad, is it possible that YOU, not Uncle Tim, is Dwellers dad?" He looked surprised, but his answer was more surprising. "Yeah, it's possible." Hmmm. He agreed to have a DNA test done, to find out once and for all if it is Tim, or Tom. Now we have to go about figuring out how to get one done, and how to come up with the money for it. They run from 500-800$. I always wondered why my dad and his twin hated each other. ding ding ding. That's why. My goodness. I wonder what will happen next. Dweller's ok w/ the new information. She's always known my dad, and loved him. I think it makes her feel better, b/c my dad has been around her all of her life. Tim's ignored her from the get go. She's never seen him in person, ever. I wonder though, if it turns out that it isn't my dad, but def. Tim, if he'd change his heart. If he would finally accept her. I would hope so. My guess is that it will still be Tim. Trying to pry family history, and information from our parents from 25 years ago is like pulling teeth. Sounds like they were a crazy bunch, and all interdating. Twins, bestfriends. Geez. Who cares? I certainly do not. I feel like we're missing pieces, that there are things they are holding back from us, b/c of certain situations. I'm not going to judge them, and neither would Dweller, it's just time to know the truth.

I was going to tell you about all about my fantastic weekend, but I can't think of anything other than this sister/cousin issue. I want to get it resolved as quickly as possible. I'll keep you updated, if and when things start to move.

So Long Jack

2006-11-02T11:10:00.000-05:00

We found a new home for Jack. I was so in love with him, I thought I could make the time a little lab puppy needed. Whatever! I didn't have the time, and poor Jack was lonely. Sure, we fed him, played w/ him, and loved him, but not nearly as much as he wanted, or needed. We went to live w/ some friends of ours. They have older kids, and a less hectic scheduel, so I think he'll do well there. And we can still see him.

I'm bringing Mike (the cat) to be put down today :( Very sad indeed. He's developed some issues that cannot be fixed. Hubs is all tore up about it. He was more attached to him than the rest of us. We'll still have Mike's brother, Boo. I wonder how Boo will do w/o Mike here. I hope he'll be alright. He spends half his time outside anyway. I don't want to get any more pets, ever! I'm all done w/ that. No thank you.

We went bowling last night for a friends birthday. We had soooo much fun. I bowled my best ever! My established average on my leauge is 87, but my weekly average is 100. Last night I bowled a 140, and a 161!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! woohooo! I'm a bowling goddess :) The games hubs and I bowled last night will count for our leauge this week- sweet!!!

I'm taking off tomorrow at noon. Yeehaw! I'm driving up w/ my gf, and our hubs will follow us a few hours later. We're playing in a battle of the sexes poker tournement. Ladies play Friday night, Men play Saturday morning, and the best of both play against each other Saturday night. I'm not planning on doing real well in the game, but very much looking forward to an entire 48 hours without my kids. I cannot wait to sleep in! I want to sleep till noon! Isn't that gay? Away from kids for the weekend, and I'm most excited about sleeping. What an adventourous gal I am. I'm looking forward to black jack, shopping, and a massage as well. Not too mention hours of alone time in a hotel room w/ my hubs. Yay! Vacation sex! It's also our anniversery weekend. I can't believe how fast time has flown by. We've been married 7 years now. I believe that I love him more today, than I did when I married him. We recently had a rough patch, but came through it better than ever. We've been fortunate to enjoy a very happy marriage. I can't wait for the rest of our lives together. It helps of course, that he's such a sexy bitch :D

This is a very busy month for us. Away this weekend, hubs birthday next weekend, friends are coming in from MN for a visit, high school reunion, Thanksgiving. Geesh. Once the holidays get here, it gets so super busy. I'm tempted to turn off my phone on the holidays and hide from the family. I love spending time w/ them, but it gets so hectic running here and there, cooking, baking, classroom parites. Work Christmas party's. Eh. Would be nice to snuggle w/ hubs and the kids under fluffy blankets watching old movies instead of running all over the damn place. Oh, and deer hunting as well. I'll be solo every weekend through Nov. I start babysitting my little Lex if a few weeks as well. Chicken has to go back to work. Booooo. Very busy indeed!

Halloween, physco's, and breasts

2006-11-01T09:44:00.000-05:00

Trick or Treat!!!!! We had a blast last night w/ the kids. Max was a power ranger, Ave was a witch, and J was a duck. Ave was running from house to house, worried that someone else dare beat her to the door. Max was right on her heels. J was content to hang out in the stroller, under a quilt w/ a sucker. It was FREEZING last night. There were so many kids out last night. We started following a group w/ at least 15-20 kids in it, running to every door. Maybe we just went out at exactly the right time, but I don't remember ever seeing so many kids at once. We were walking through a development w/ the million other kids, and this car came schreeching around a corner- WAY too fast. Even fast for broad daylight w/o any children hopping around. Hubs was supa pissed and wanted to chase him down. Thankfully, our lovely community cop was sitting around the corner, and went on to get the asshole. I hope he got a huge ticket. Idiot.

I went to play cards on Monday, as usual, followed by drinks and kareoke (sp?). There was this girl there that I had never seen before hanging out. I was content visiting w/ my friends, so i didn't say hello. Anyway, she came up to me and said that she thought I was very beautiful. Oh, well thanks. I'm blue, I say and we shake hands. She sits down closer to me and my friends to join in our conversation. This girl, Judy, we'll call her, anyway she was drinking beer after beer, and getting louder, more annoying, and more inappropriate by the second. My word! I don't have time to go in to detail about some of the shit that came out of her mouth, but it was bad. All the way from insulting my gf's, saying stupid shit about me, to talking nonsense about her own life, how marriage doesn't matter, she's been married and divorced twice before 30. Nice. Sweet thing to brag about. Stupid. She was obsessed w/ how I look. The dumbest thing ever. I look ok, normal, average or whatever, but I'm not special, not complaining or whining about it, just fact. I'm ok w/ that. Its fine to get compliments, a quick thanks will do, but this girl was retarded, and way over the top. I can't figure out what she was trying to accomplish by it. Trying to get me to like her? Maybe she was a lesbian??? Maybe she really thought all the shit she said, but come on, NOBODY talks like that. I was more than a little uncomfortable. We couldn't get rid of the bitch. She kept getting louder and louder. She sounded like that comedian lady w/ the accordian, Judy something or other, w/ Fran Dresher's laugh. Gag. I started thinking about it, and realized that i'm a magnet for crazy women. The weirdest most screwed up people ever will seek me out for friendship. Why is that? I really need to start being rude or something. It was an interesting evening overall.

So now, onto the breasts. My mom has fake boobs. Giant fake boobs. Like they sit right under her neck kind of giant. She likes to show them off. Whatever. I was over there the other day to go tanning, and my mom saw me topless. No big deal, she's my mom. BUT then, she says, 'wow babe. your boobs look like those etheopian women. a little saggy." WHAT!!!! Rotten rotten mean mama. Who says that? And, just for the record, THEY DO NOT LOOK LIKE THAT! They're just normal. Sure, not as perky as my teen years. But come on, I've had and nursed 3 babies, and they aren't plastic. I most certainly do not have natty boobies. Isn't my mom fab??

Another week gone by

2006-10-27T09:29:00.000-04:00

The concert the other night was great! I've never seen so many older wasted people w/ mullets in all my life! We had a blast. Journey didn't do as well as I thought they would, but at least they sounded good. They seemed to be lacking enthusiasm. Def Leppard on the other hand, kicked some serious ass! They were terrific live, and I would see them again. They still look good in leather pants even. :) Before the concert, we went to dinner at the Black Rose. It's an irish pub next to the arena. Awesome fooooood. So good. If you are any where near Grand Rapids, go check that place out. Super delicious, and I love the atmosphere.

The rest of this week has been uneventful. I kept both of my kids home from school today. Jade doesn't seem quite right yet either. Max has had a cold all week, nothing terrible, but he's been dragging, and complaining about being tired. My kids go to bed at 7:45! Should be getting more than enough sleep. I don't get them up till 6:45. Anyway, I figured that his cold was getting to him, and that he should hang out at home today and get to sleep in. Avery is pretty much fine, but being as Max was hanging out here today, thought she could too. Basically, I'm letting her play hookey. I thought we could laze the morning away together, watch a few movies, and if they are feeling better later, possibley getting out for awhile this afternoon. Jade's weird mystery illness is still hanging on. She came down w/ another fever on Tuesday. No other symptoms, again. She is messing w/ her mouth alot, so I think its another tooth, maybe a 2 yr molar? She's constantly playing in her mouth, either w/ her tounge, or her whole hand. She hasn't eaten much at all, all week. I just wish everyone would get better.

I myself haven't been feeling all that well either. Mine is girly stuff though. I really need to get back into see my doctor about straighting my cycle out. If you're a boy, you can just tune out here. My cycle has been running every 21 days lately. For like the last 5? or more months. It doesn't last a normal length of time either. 3 days or so, then disappears, only to reapper in peek-a-boo form a week later. I'll spot for another week. I saw my doctor in the beginning of August to have my regular check up and talk about this issue. He thought that it was related to my weight loss, and that it should straighten itself out in a few months. This is my 3rd or 4th cycle since then- still NOT normal. I'm suppose to call him if it didn't work. Then he wants to do an ultra sound to make sure I don't have any cysts (sp?) or any other issue. If all is well, then he would put me on some sort of birth control to regulate. I've had this problem before. I think its why I had such a hard time concieving my third baby. Maybe this not normal issue, is just what's normal for me, although it doesn't seem right. I'm done having babies now, I should just get the shit ripped out. Either way, its not fun. Well kids, my coffee cup is empty, and I can hear my troops getting rowdy upstairs. Y'all have a nice day.

hello

2006-10-24T09:05:00.000-04:00

Ick. I just finished cleaning the bathroom and inhaled too much bleach. I'm feeling a little gross now. So much has happened this week. It's been busy, as ususal. Even though much has gone on this week, most of it isn't blog worthy. A bunch of nonsense I'm sure no one is interested in reading.
Jade woke up w/ a fever this morning. I'm tired of this. I have no idea what's wrong w/ her. No cold symptoms, any obvious issues. Teeth maybe? Who knows. I wish my kids would get healthy and stay that way! I had my moms group yesterday morning, which I was looking forward to. Wouldn't you know it, that as soon as I showed up, I got a call from Max's school, saying he wasn't feeling well. I had to leave before the meeting even began, and when I picked him up from school, the little turd was faking it. Not sick. Today I had a babysitter planned for the girls, so I could go to a going away/surprise baby shower for a few girls at work. Also looking forward to that, but now, can't go. How come when I have plans, I get a sick kid??? Tonight is the concert, but I'm still going to that. My grandma is going to come here and sit w/ the kids, so I feel ok about going. It just sucks. We haven't even had a fall here in MI. It pretty much went from hot-as-hell, to winter, w/ no transition. MI winters are the worst. It gets dark super early, tons of snow, freezing temps, and lasts f o r e v e r. Very depressing time of year. Kids get sick, we stay cooped up, and I can't seem to come up w/ enough ideas to keep them occupied.

Enough bitching :) Hubs and I are doing great. Things are back to where they should be, and seem more solid than ever. I suppose that's why we have rough patches, they bring us closer when we get through them. We're fortunate to not have many rough patches. I wonder if you ever completely figure it out, or if being happily married is constantly a work in progress? I'd bet it is.

I had a weird dream about my high school reunion the other night. I showed up to it in sweat pants, a holy tee-shirt, and heeled boots! Ah! The horror of it. Except in my dream, I wasn't at all alarmed by my apperance, not at least until after I got there and looked around. Noticed that every0ne else was dressed up. It was not a good dream! Of course, that would never happen, but good grief. This whole reunion seems to be making me nervous. That's so silly. I've never been one to be nervous, or to be worried what others think of me. Seems to be changing as I get older. Why does that happen? Just part of being a grown up, or am I turning into a prudish old lady??? Heaven save me. :)

Speaking of Heaven, I used to have this OB, w/ my first two pregnancy's. He was the best doctor ever, or at least I thougt so at the time. He knew all about me, my family, hubs. He would always ask about them, always remembering details. He was a christian, and made it known. He was always praying w/ his patients and their family's, preaching the good news all the time. He also told me that he choose to work at this particular hospital, b/c it was the only hospital in our city that did not proform abortions, and that was something he felt very strongly about. I never asked him his opinion of these issues, he just freely gave it whenever he could slid it in to conversation. I'm not pro-choice, so I was thrilled to hear a doctor talk about it. Anyway, I did this thing called a Life Walk. It's a family friendly, peaceful protest. Basically you just walk through the city w/ your family, and stop to pray at specific sites. Anyway, you raise money for one of the pregnancy resource places. They offer pregnancy testing, ultrasounds for abortion minded women, adoption resources, and cribs, clothing, any sort of baby needs at all to make it easier for moms to keep thier babies. So when I signed up that particular year, I called my doctor to see if he would like to donate. SURE! he said. And he gave me a HUGE donation. After my second baby was born, some things seemed kind of off at his office, so I choose to find a new doctor. I was playing on the internet yesterday, and I came across an article about him. He has SEVERAL abortion clinics open all over the flippn' state. He's been protestor's fav target for years. WTF??? How can you walk around spouting off your 'faith' speaking your strong opinions about abortion, all the while, being a monster yourself? I was sooooooooooooo upset yesterday. You know, if that was his thing, fine. I don't agree, but fine. Don't walk around talking about what an abomination abortion is then! Lies. I can't believe it. This was not just a doctor to me. He was someone I cared about, TRUSTED, and respected, more of a friend or long lost realitive sort of thing. I almost couldn't believe it. I called his office and asked the receptionist if they did abortions at that office, she said no, so I asked her if she could refer me to someone who did. She then went on to say, that the doctor there would do one for me about an hour away from here. I now know the meaning of a wolf in sheep's clothing. I've never been so throughly decieved in my life. There is nothing that can be done about it. I could write a letter, but what's the point. I could protest, but how about no. I just can't believe it's ok to lie to people like that. And lie for no reason. No one is asking him his opinions on it, he just talks about it. I imagine it would hurt his business here in the bible belt if that little tid bit got out. This part of West MI is extremely conservitive. Christians like that make me want to change my religion.

No Gloves??

2006-10-17T12:03:00.000-04:00

Baby J had her 18 month check up yesterday. She's doing great! Her ear infections have completely healed up now. She's in the 30% for her weight (23.8 pds), 40% for hieght, and 48% for her head. She's such a penut. I can't remember the proper term for it, but she was born w/ her inner-labia fused together, so she doesn't have a vaginal opening. It doesn't go all the way up, b/c she can go potty w/o any trouble. Anyway, the doc said that when she started walking, it would come undone. When she was not walking yet, every time I changed her, I'd have to spread it a little bit, to try and help loosen it up. Since she's been walking, I haven't done it. The doctor checked it yesterday, and it's still grown together, it looks like its grown together a bit further, so I have to do the spread thing. Poor baby, nothing like being violated. Ick. Anyway, what was most distrubing about that, is when the doc checked her hootie, he didn't have gloves on! eewwwww. Is that normal? Do other peds wear gloves when they check out kids' business's? Anyone? I can't imagine going to my gyno and having him take a peek in my stuff w/o the gloves on. Gross. For some reason the gloves give me a not-so-intimate feeling. Not that it's great either way, but shoot, the gloves seem to me to be a barrier of sorts, for several different reasons. And Chicken also asked, in case you were thinking the same thing, yes, he washed his hands when he entered the room, and again before he left it. What does your ped. do when they check your kids stuff??

Hubs and I were talking about my upcoming reunion. He can't go with me! booooo! I'm a bit disappointed by that. He'll be deer hunting. I must admit, it bothers me that he won't come home early to go with me. I suppose I kind of understand. He only hunts once a year, but reunions don't happen all that often. I'm not looking forward to being the single one, and giving excuses as to why he isn't with me. Bah. Oh well.

I went out last night, and ran into an old friend. MAN, he looks awful. He has a serious drug problem, and its very evident. How sad. 10 years ago, he was outgoing, attractive (hot actually), hard working, and fun to be around. Now he's introverted, jobless, and an all around loser. He's stick thin, w/ sunken in cheecks, scragly hair, and I don't think he's bathed in at least a month by the looks of him. He has sores on his face. I believe that herione, cocain and meth are his drugs of choice. That's really terrible. Why waste your life? There are so many things to see, and to do, oppurtunitys to make a difference. Why do that to yourself. We are only here such a short time as it is, why hurry it along, distroying your mind and body in the process. Self distruction makes me sick, and very sad. Unfortunately, when someone is that far gone, it doesn't seem that there is anything that you could say, or do to help them. He'd rather be lost in his self-pity, drugs and depression. Bad.

Seems like I had more to say, but I can't remember what it was. Ave was picked up by her papa (grandpa) for the afternoon (yay!), so I believe I'll read a book, and then hurry to clean up the house before hubs gets home, so it looks like I actually did something today. Muhahaha! I'm such a clever girl. Oh, I need a vote. I can't figure out what to make for dinner tonight. Pork chops w/ veggies, or chili???

Morning

2006-10-14T09:24:00.000-04:00

Last night I snuck out w/ my girlfriend to go see a movie. It was so nice! We didn't go until after 10, so our kids would be sleeping. Both of our hubs had to work early this morning. We saw Man of the World, w/ Robin Williams. It was funny. I can't remember the last time I saw a movie. Too long ago.

The sun is out today. Seems like a first all week. Max has a soccer game today. The last 2 were cancelled due to rain. Hubs is working today though, which makes going to the game rough for me. It hard to pay attention to what M is doing, all the while trying to keep J in my sights. She's so busy, and can't stand to hold still. Where he plays soccer, its like a huge football field, only they've seperated it into a million mini-soccer fields. There's only about 10ft in between games, which means she can't go far w/o walking into another game. Last time I brought them by myself, she ran into the next field and got her head stuck in the goal net. Play had to stop so I could untangle my little darlings head. Ugh. When hubs goes, one of us can stay on top of J, and the other can play complete attention to what Max is doing. Makes it a heck of a lot easier. I really should bring him, but at the same time, I really don't want to deal w/ wet babies and heads in nets. The field has pretty much been a giant puddle for the last 2-3 weeks. So not fun

Guess what?? Hubs and I got tickets to go see Def Leppard and Journey! woohooo! Y'all jelous now, aren't you?? yep, that's right bitches, I'm going to rock out w/ all the other 80's dirt heads, and I can't wait. Friggn' Journey! woot woot! Who doesn't love Journey? Even if you say you don't, I'm sure you can sing all the words to most of thier top hits, and prlly do so, in the privacy of your car at top volume :) I'm gonna! Def Leppard was a favorite of mine as well. I'm so excited! Chicken is completely jelous. She insists I must buy her an old school Def Leppard concert tee. Maybe I can find one for the baby too. Its going to be a good time. They'll be here in Grand Rapids, at the VanAndle Arena Oct. 24. Sweeeeet.

No plans for the rest of the weekend. I'm going to do laundry all night tonight, and read a book. Laze around in giant sweats, and a holy tee-shirt. MMMMMMMM. Nice. I got the invite for my high school reunion. That's sometime next month- I'm looking forward to that too. It'll be interesting to see who ended up where. I don't keep in touch w/ most of my classmates. I run into one occasionally, but that's all really. I still have my 3 good gf's from school, that I talk to regularly. I'm so thankful for that, I'm glad we have. The class I graduated with was small. I think we only had 100 or so, and most of us were together from elementary on up. High School was so much fun. I had an all out riot every single day. I would do it over again in a heart beat. I wasn't the best student, but I'm pretty sure Chicken and I had the most fun ever. We were constantly in the vice principles office our junior year. For some reason, our first hour teacher thought we were bad news, that we did drugs(right), and perhaps drank underage(right again), and we were late every single morning. At least 3 times a week that year, when we'd get to second hour, the v.p. would call down to the class and have us sent to the office. Chicken generally beat me there, I'd wink at her, and take my seat, wait the for the lecture to begin. Same one every day. "I wasn't born yesterday girls. Don't think that I don't know what your up to. Keep on this path and it will lead you no where. You can be whatever you want in life, just put your mind to it. Your better than that, blah blah blah- generally followed by I'll catch you at some point, believe me i will" See, they never had any proof, so instead of getting detension, or saturday detension, we'd get lectures. It was great fun. We also spent alot of time fueling the rumor mill, just for fun. We start rumors about ourselves just to see how far they went, and how they changed. Never confirming or denying them, letting people believe what they will. Cracked us up. Anyway, it was good times all around. Wow, I got sidetracked w/ a long winded nonsense story. Enjoy your weekend!

Let it Snow!

2006-10-12T08:09:00.000-04:00

We have our first snow here in MI. Just a dusting, but enough to have my kids nearly peeing thier pants w/ excitement! Yep, it's flippn cold- time to kick on the ol' furnance. I think its currently 33F this morning, w/ a high of 40 for the day. burrrrrrr. When I was little, it seemed like we always had a foot of snow for Halloween. We had to buy costumes that we could where over our winter stuff. Since I've had kids though, Halloween has been really mild, but usually raining. Weird how the weather changes. My kids were asking for chirstmas music when we got in the car to go to school today. My goodness- a bit early for that!

Yesterday I tore apart Ave's room. It was a giant mess. I don't know how she does it, but that girl is MESSY. I pulled everything out of her room to start w/ a blank canvas. It's beautiful now! I rearranged all of her furniture, seperated all her clothes (packed away too small and summer stuff), and made sure her toys found thier way back to the toy room. My bet is 2 weeks at the most before its back to disaster city. My mission is to do the same w/ M and J's room today.

I don't have much to post about, so I was going to give you a random list of mistyness. I've continued w/ my maitnance phase of my diet, and that's still going really well. The size 8's i've been wearing are becoming baggy- finally getting into some 6's. SWEET. Some of my must have daily eats- apples w/ reduced fat penut butter, string cheese, and salad. I eat those 3 things daily, pretty much anytime I'm hungry, I snack on those. I've upped my water intake from 2 liters to 3 as well. I still can't believe how much my body has changed, i'm really loving it. Here's a random nonsense kind-of-gross statement: I cannot for any reason at all, pee in the dark. It completely freaks me out. I have this outrageous fear that there's going to be a snake in there, or some other sort of critter, that's going to try to bite me. Since I drink so much water, you can imagine how often I get up at night. I'm trying to get over this silly nonsense, but I can't. I can't even go w/o the light off- I'm too nervous and tense. So there. Now you have it. I know you'll all sleep much better tonight knowing that little juicy tidbit about my bathroom habbits- feels good, doesn't it :)

2006-10-10T11:15:00.000-04:00

What a weekend. J got really really sick :( She had a fever of 103.5 for 48 hours straight. Not even medicine would bring it down. And then, her mouth started bleeding! Completely freaked me out. Hubs brought her to the doctor to find out that she had a double ear infection, and something in her mouth similar to thrush, but not thrush- not sure what it is, but whatever it was became irritated and started bleeding. Yikes! That was a new one. My older kids never had an ear infection or that weird mouth thing. She's doing much better now. She still isn't eating much, but other than that, she's happy. My poor girl didn't even crack a smile for 2 days. Very unlike her.

I met up w/ my friend Harold on Friday. It was very uninteresting. I was disappointed. I was so excited and anxious to see him, and he was having a bad day- He wasn't all there. He didn't have much to say. I'm sorry I went out of my way to get together w/ him. Another friend of his came by too. I also knew this guy from back in the day, we used to hang out. I haven't seen him in at least 2 years- I was a bit surprised to say the least. Back in the day, he was funny, attractive, and pretty much an all out riot to hang out with. When he showed up, I didn't even recgonize him. He was 3x bigger than he used to be, and completely depressed. Lucky me got to sit in between non chatty Harold, and mr. sucidal tendencies. Crap! I was trying to engage Mr. S.T in conversation, you know the normal "how've you been? What have you been doing? Anything new? Where are you working now? Do you like it there?" And his responses were" yeah, i'm livin', just another day, i work here, and no i hate it. Makes me want to kill myself. Oh, I quit smoking- that's the only good thing I've done in the last 2 years. I hate this place. I hate people and crowds now too." and so on. Geesh. It was a lame evening. Very anti-climatic. Booooo.

Hubs is mad at me at the moment. Ugh. Seems misguided to me. He's in a funk. I hope that works itself out. I don't like this-

Lots of Things

2006-10-05T09:34:00.000-04:00

Morning!

My girls are sick :( J has had a cold since last weekend, and its just gotten worse. She has an awful hackey cough and a runny nose. Avery woke up w/ a fever yesterday, complaining that her head and throat hurt. The fever carried threw to this morning, and now J has a fever too >( Poor babies. It's that time of year again.

My ghetto neighboor kids came knocking on my door at 730 yesterday morning- they missed the bus and needed a ride. Where in the hell are thier parents? I know that they work 3rd shift, does that mean that they leave them home all night long, alone? The oldest kid is 13, the other 3 are 11 and 12. That doesn't seem old enough to me. I don't like that. So I brought them to school. This morning, here they come knocking again. For crying out loud! I gave them a ride AGAIN today, but told them if it happens again, they'll be walking. It isn't my responsibility to make sure you get to school. Call your damn parents! I suppose they would, IF they had a phone. That just isn't right. When I drove them yesterday, they smelled. Weather it was them- or their clothes, I'm not sure. That proves that they need direction in the morning. I would NOT let my kids go to school dirty, or in dirty clothes. You know how mean other kids can be. I feel bad for my neighboor kids, thier parents need to be around for them. What should I do about it? Should I talk to thier parents?? AND, how do I talk to them about it w/o being a jerk? I just really think they should be home at night, and there when the kids get ready for school, and they should have a phone in case of emergency. Yes, they can use mine, and have many times, but I think it would be good for them to have thier own. I think they only do cell phones over there, isn't it inexpensive to add another line and leave it home? I don't mind helping them out on occasion, but I will not be doing it weekly- not my job. Shit happens sometimes, but twice a week- nope. That's just irresponsible. Maybe they can get a babysitter or relative to stay there at night and make sure everyone gets off to school ok, w/ proper hygene.

My friend Harold is home from China! He flew in last night, and I can't wait to see him! He's lived over there for the last 2 years. He's been home to visit 3 times or so, but he visits are generally short, and very full. He is here for good! Woot woot! I'm very much looking forward to seeing him. On his last visit, he didn't even get to see the kids or hubs. Come to think of it, I don't think he's ever seen the baby- I was able to see him last summer, but it was for no more than an hour or so. He spent the last month traveling all over different parts of china, I can't wait to hear all about it. We've been friends for 12 years, dated at the begining for quite awhile, that ended well and we stayed friends. When we got older, we were roomates for 2 years, up until I got married. He moved to California after I was married, and from there, off to China. We've kept in touch all this time. I'm glad he's home.

Seems like there was something else... Can't remember at the moment. It's time to go get some laundry done and check on the girls anyway. I think its going to be an early nap day. I could use on myself :) Have a good day!

Hello Blogland.

2006-10-03T21:41:00.000-04:00

I'm alive- just haven't made time to update. It's been an interesting few weeks. Hubs and I were having some problems. Anytime things are off between us, I have a really hard time. I didn't want to blog about our issues, and I was very upset about them, so anyway. We went to see a marriage counselor. That was the very first time we've ever seen one. We've been married nearly 7 years (our ann is in a few weeks), and up until recently, it's been a smooth ride. We get along well, we're great friends, our sex life is freaking fantastic. We've had occasional bumbs, as we all do, but they are usually resloved very quickly. This time, we just couldn't work it out. I wasn't willing to back down, and neither was he. We were at a stand still. It was awful. I hate feeling that way! The gal we saw was really great, and made us comfortable. She gave us some really great suggestions, and some stuff we have to do weekly for each other. She fixed it :D yay! I'm very happy to report that things are all good once again. Hubs and I are back on track, and I think closer than we were before. He's so great, and I'm so fortunate to have him. I would be completely lost without him. I'm very much in love w/ my man.
Other than that, not much happening. Kids are good. Dog still sucks. My handsome little Lex is doing great. Speaking of Lex, CHICKEN has made it back to the world of blogging!! Go and check her out, she's got some awesome pictures up.

later bitches :)

baby pictures!

2006-09-22T16:21:00.000-04:00

I meant to put these in different order, but it never works out that way. Here's my newest newfew! Isn't he beautiful! And how 'bout that chicken?? I had to post a pic of her w/ the tank :) The hospital sheet doesn't do it justice though. Enjoy your weekend!

He's HERE!

2006-09-22T11:32:00.000-04:00

K, well he got her Wed afternoon, I've just been too busy to update. Chicken ended up having a c-section :( When they gave her the spinal block, it didn't work, so they had to put her completely under. Poor girl! It was a tramatic experience for them. BUT, my new little nefew is adorable. He has tons of darky, curly hair. He's a doll. He weighed 7 pds 14 oz, and was 20 inches long. His name is LEX!! How cute is that??!! Lex Perfect. He's either going to be a president, or a rockstar w/ a name like that. I currently do not have any pictures to post of him, but will have soon. Both mom and baby are doing great! Oh, and he took to nursing right away. No problem w/ that lil' guys latch :)

Things are busy as usual here, w/ a busy weekend ahead. Max has a carnival at school tonight, tomorrow an early soccer game, i'm out w/ a gf tomorrow night, and sunday we have a family get together. I was hoping to get all of our yard work done this weekend, but its going to rain all weekend. We're going to have a trailer yard for at least another week. Yuck.

happy weekend to all!

xoxo
blue

YES!

2006-09-20T10:34:00.000-04:00

I'm here at the hospital right now!! Chicken is finally about to lay her egg!!!! On her own. The hospital has internet access in the waiting room. How sweet is that? She's doing ok for now, uncomfortable, contractions every 3-5 minutes. She's only dialated to 2, though. Poop. I hope she starts to dialate soon! I don't want her to end up w/ a c-section! I'll update again throughout the day! Pray for my girl, for a safe delivery, and a healthy baby!!!

xoxo

Soccer Star!

2006-09-19T10:42:00.000-04:00

Ave had her first soccer game last night, first time every she played. I was so impressed!! She's a mini Beckham! Out of the 6 goals scored, she made 4 of them!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! She was so focused and intent on that ball, she was plowing little girls out of her way. I couldn't help but hoot and cheer for her! She did GREAT! She does however have an issue w/ sportsmanship. Not good. I'm not sure how to go about fixing that. She didn't want to share the ball w/ her teamates, and she cried when the other team scored a goal. She felt like she wasn't doing a good job if she didn't get a goal, or if the other team made one. Suggestions anyone? How do I fix that? Hubs had to miss the game last night, and was completely bummed :( I hope she is as enthustiastic next week as she was last night. I can't wait to watch her again!

Still no baby. Never having a baby. Ever. She has a doctor appt tomorrow. We'll see what they say. Hopefully its something like "holy cow! your already 8 cm, get to the hospital!" Doubtful, but I can dream. Chicken is discouraged, and emotional. She's still having a hard time :( I can't wait till she feels better. I'm excited about the baby as well, but for now, I'm just more concerned w/ my friend.

We are going out w/ some friends tonight w/ all of our kids. Our friends didn't tell us where we are going, or what we are doing, other than we aren't allowed to pay, and it'll be fun for all of us. Hmmm... Sounds interesting. Kind of like our whole family is being taken out on a blind date! I'm looking forward to it. I need to run. Time to clean bathrooms and finish the laundry. Yay!

Blah

2006-09-18T11:25:00.000-04:00

NO BABY STILL. She is now 8 days overdue, and completely miserable. Sad Chicken. She thought last night was it. She had contractions every 15 minutes for forever, then they just stopped. They have started over this morning, every 20 minutes, and not too painful. Maybe it will finally be today. If she doesn't have the baby by her dr. appt on Wed., she'll be induced.

The weekend was uneventful and quiet. We didn't do much. Family get together w/ hubs family on Friday, soccer game Saturday morning, mall saturday afternoon, and nothing yesterday. It was a relaxing weekend. I wasn't ready for Monday yet. My kids weren't either. I had a hard time getting them out of bed this morning. Today is one of those days where you want to snuggle under the covers all day. Gray, raining softly, and somewhere around 60 degress.. Good movie day.

Seems like there was something else worth mentioning... Can't recall. Oh, we watched United 93 last night. It was hard for me to watch some parts of it. What a terrible way to die. The people on that flight knew exactly what was going to happen to them, and they fought back. Good for them! But still scary. I can only imagine what they were feeling when thier plane went down. I don't want to know when I'm going. I want to be blissfully unaware that death awaits me just around the corner. Especially if its something terrible like a plane crash. I don't want time to think about all of the things that will be taking place in moments. I wonder what has changed since 9/11 when it comes to communication between all of the airlines and the military... I hope lots of things. It must of been terrible for the people who worked there, not knowing what was going to happen next, or how to fix it, or who to call, helpless. Awful.

Anyway, I'll let you know if and when Chicken gives birth. Enjoy your day

2006-09-15T08:18:00.000-04:00

My dad is doing better! He was released from the hospital last night. They found 2 holes in the lining of his stomach, bleeding ulcers. He was in bad shape when he got there. He had to have 3 blood transfusions to get him back up to par. I was thrilled w/ the doctors there, they did a great job and looked at everything. Nothing else was wrong!! He is as healthy as you can be when you've been a smoker for 40 years.
Chicken is the same. Still flippn' pregnant. With NO sign of hatching at all. I'm giving up. Now I'm just going to plan on her staying pregnant for another 2 weeks. I can't handle the anxiety :)
We are suppose to have nice weather this weekend, finally! We need to close the pool, and do some yard work to get ready for fall. 80 and sunny tomorrow, perfect for yard work. Nothing else interesting to tell.. Happy Friday Bitches ;)

2006-09-12T16:43:00.000-04:00

The funeral was nice, well, as nice as those type of things can be. It was held at this buliding/workshop/church for bikers. The service was in the workshop part, all the walls had different cool road signs on them, and there were Harley's in different states of fix-it along the walls. The pastor looked like Santa, only bigger and wearing leather instead of red. Very cool. It wasn't formal, a come as you are kind of deal, and it was very intimate, and cozy. The pastor read the normal verses, and even added a bit of humor. Those who wanted to share a story about my uncle just stood up where they were and did so. This was the first funeral that i've ever been too that didn't have that stuffy-really-creepy vibe. It was a wonderful way to remember him, and how I think he would have liked it. Awesome.
Next tragedy- My dad is in the hospital. He's been sick for a few weeks, he looks awful. His skin is gray and ashey, no energy, dizzy, faint, all of that. He didn't want to go, but my brother and I gave him little choice. He said he wanted to wait till after his brother's service was done, so I pulled up to his house around 8 this morning, and dragged him out of bed. Off to the hospital we went. The doctors haven't found much yet. He has been losing blood, and they don't know from where, so they are doing testing to figure that out. His blood count is low, his blood pressure is off, and pretty much everything else is out of whack. I hope they find something. Not that I want him to have 'something', but 'something' is easier to fix then a 'hmm, not so sure, good luck w/ that...' I hope we know more tomorrow when some of the tests come back. Chicken and I will be heading up to hang out w/ him soon. My dad is funny. He's at the hospital Chicken is going to have her baby in, so earlier he says ' Won't it be great if Chicken has her baby tonight??? I'm already here! We can have a party!' Goof ball, at least his sense of humor is perfectly in tact. YES, damn Chicken still HAS NOT laid her egg. No signs of any egg laying either. When she comes over tonight, I think I'll slip some castor oil in her drink ;) Or maybe not. Perhaps I can convince her to jog??? I'll keep you posted on all our happenings around here. Night all.

No Baby Yet.

2006-09-11T11:41:00.000-04:00

My lovely Chicken is still very much pregnant this morning. Argh! I was really hoping it would be over the weekend, but no such luck. Nothing at all going on w/ her. Not even the slightest little twinge... I've come to the conclusion that she is going to be pregnant FOREVER. I'm just so anxious. I want to meet my nefew. I wonder if he'll look like Chicken, but have my brothers crazy hair, or maybe he'll look like my kids..... Seems like I'll never find out at this rate. I'll keep you posted.
So today is Sep. 11. I can't believe that it has been 5 years. Where were you when the towers fell? I was 6 months pregnant w/ Avery, and on my way to see my O.B. My mom was going with me. I heard about it on the radio, I'm my way to pick up mom. I didn't understand that it was a terriost attack, not at all. But when the second plane hit, I knew something was terribley wrong, but terriost still wasn't a thought I had. My mom and I were pretty shook up by the time we got to my doctors office. At the office, Rita, the nurse was in tears. Her husband flew for one of the airlines that crashed, and many times, flew that same route. He was off that day, thank God, but it was too close to home for her. For all of us. My doctor, rita, me and my mom formed a circle, and all prayed together that morning. I just wanted to be with my husband. I met a friend for lunch at this sports bar type place, I had yet to see the pictures till then. Even though the resturant was packed, it was completely slient, and no one was eating. What a day that was. This morning I'm thinking about all of those who lost their lives, and those who were left without them. I hope they have found some sort of peace.
Anyway, my Uncle's funeral is tonight. Perfect weather for a funeral. It's as dark as night right now, freezing, and rainy. I could use a little sunshine over here.

Let me Try This Again..

2006-09-07T08:31:00.000-04:00

Hopefully blogger will not eat this one as well. I'm on a time crunch :)

My kids have started school!! I was really sad about first grade, it bothered me more than when he started kindergarten. It must be the whole day thing. And up until Tuesday, he was sad about going b/c "I won't get to eat lunch w/ you everday anymore mommy" But when school got here, all systems were go. I asked him if he wanted me to walk him into his class, and he says "Um, mama, I don't want to hurt your feelings or anything, but I'm kind of a big kid now" So he didn't want me to walk him in :( Yep, I cried, but not until he went into school. And just a few tears, not all out sobbing. My big boy. He loves his class and teacher, so all is well so far.
Soccer has also started for Max. He likes it, but uh.. I don't think he'll be a soccer star. lol. He's way to busy goofing off. I can't believe how silly he is. Hubs and I were watching him practice last night cracking up. I told hubs I sometimes wonder if my max is kind of a shortbus kid. hahaha. He was talking to his coach, and one of his teamates, and he says 'Wouldn't it be totally SWEET if I tripped over the ball and hit my neck on the goal post and broke my neck open and all my guts poured out!!!! THAT'D BE AWESOME!!!' He was so animated while telling this little tale, giggling all the while. Who's kid says crap like that? Mine. What a dork :)
Chicken is doing well too! We are all getting in baby mode. I've been sleeping w/ my phone by me just in case. She's had regular contractions for the last 3 or 4 days, but after 4 hours, they go away.. Her body is getting ready. My original guess is that she will have her baby the 10th, so that's what I'm hoping for! I also guessed that her baby would be 9pds 3 oz, and 21 1/2 inches long.... I wish I had a picture of her tank to put up here so y'all could see for yourselves. Her belly has def. dropped, and is rock hard. She's been getting really uncomfortable, and not able to sleep at night. I can't flippn' WAIT! I want it to happen NOW. My mom has been driving her crazy. lol. I'm glad she gets to experience my mom's nuttiness first hand. My mom calls her everyday now to see if she's lost her 'plug'. Completely gross's chicken out! lol. She feels that her 'plug' is much too intimate to discuss w/ my mother. ahhahaha. My mom has also started stopping by whenever w/o calling. Not that you always need to call, but come on now. She's only dropping by to see for herself that chicken's not in labor yet :) I really hope it's this weekend. I need to find my damn camera! I will be so sad if I can't find it to take pictures right away to post on here. Chicken's computer is still broken, which is why she hasn't posted in forever.. I'm going to see if I can get it fixed for her this week.
I have another funeral to go to this week. My uncle johnny passed away. He found out he had a tumor in his brain 3 or 4 months ago, and yes, it was cancerous. They were able to remove 90% of it during surgery, and he had an awesome prognosis. With chemo, they were sure he would recover. He was in the hospital last week, b/c the chemo made him sick. Then he started doing better was released from the hospital, and died in his sleep from a friggn' heart attack. What? Can you believe that? Unreal. My dad is all fucked up now. This is his 7th funeral, all for loved ones. I had the most disturbing morbid conversation w/ him last night. He was talking about how it's his turn next, and how he knows something is wrong w/ him, but he refuses to go to the doctor. Ugh. I couldn't handle it. I don't want to hear that! I know he's depressed and all, but goodness. Please don't tell your daughter about how you know you're dying and you refuse to do anything about it. I'm not sure when the funeral is yet.. I imagine it will be saturday or monday.
Jade puked on me this morning.. Not sure what's going on with her. She doesn't have a fever, but both yesterday morning, and this morning, she threw up. It was more like a mouthful of spit-up, but babies her age don't spit up. She hasn't had any trouble the rest of the day keeping anything down or whatnot. She has been a little fussy.. Any guesses as to what's wrong w/ her? I must be going.. Laundry and babies are crying for me. Have a good one :D

Stupid %^((&$#^^&*^& blogger!

2006-09-05T13:48:00.000-04:00

I just finished a lovely, long and entertaining post, and fucking blogger ATE IT. And GUess what? I don't have time for another. DAMN IT. I'll get to it later. S t u p i d blogger!

Muhahahaha

2006-08-30T22:38:00.000-04:00

This picture cracks me up! And its fitting for me b/c I am sooooooo flippn' crabby right now! I don't know exactly what set me off tonight, but I'm hating the world at the moment... I had to work tonight, and when I got home, house was messy, kids were screaming, dog was barking, I couldn't take it. Dog is still barking. Poor sad Jack needs a new home. I think I might just kill him if I have to listen to his stupid barking anymore! Thank goodness the kids are in bed now. I think my hubs is to. I escaped to the the dungeon as soon as I could. That'd be the basement for those who were wondering. Anyway, nothing really to blog about, just pissed. I'm sure it'll be better in the morning. Night all!

Hola

2006-08-28T14:53:00.001-04:00

I've been busy. Sorry, haven't had anytime to update. Hmmm. Where to start. Well, last week the shower went well. Everything turned out great! My gf showed up early saturday morning, and really did a lot to help me out. How I love her :) The food turned out good too. We didn't have very many people show up though. I was disappointed about that. I invited my whole side of the family, aunts, cuzn's, great grandmas, and NONE of them showed. I couldn't believe it. What a way to welcome Chicken into the family. Chicken wasn't disappointed though. She's getting so big! It's getting so close to baby time. I can't wait! She and my bro have had a name picked for MONTHS now, but they won't tell anyone. It's been driving me crazy, but guess what? I figured it out!! woot woot! Of course, I can't tell y'all, that'll be up to her. Not only y'all, but I can't tell anyone else either. Wouldn't want to ruin the surprise. But I do enjoy listening to everyone else sepculate. Te he he. It's a great name, by the way, and one I've never heard of anyone else named before! Pretty sweet. So, what else... Hubs worked late all last week, and it seems like I had something going most every night, but I can't recall it at the moment. Friday we were suppose to leave to go camping w/ all of hubs family. I didn't want to go, at all. J is so busy lately, I wasn't looking fwd to chasing her around. Even though all of my inlaws were there (32 of us w/ brothers, sisters, kids, and his folks), they aren't very helpful when it comes to tracking babies. Hubs gets busy w/ his brothers, so its left to me to try and keep an eye on the older 2, and chase the baby all over the damn place. Camping at this age is so hard. They're big enough to walk around on their own, or run in her case, but they don't have a thread of common sense when it comes to fire, or water. Not too mention what they put in their mouths. Ick. I decided to hang out at home friday night, and drive up sometime saturday afternoon instead. Hubs called sat morning to ask about my plans for the day, and asked me to look for something for him. I had just filled my coffee cup, so I set it on the table and turned around to the counter to see if I could spot whatever it was that he needed. J grabbed my scalding hot coffee, and dumped it all over herself! I flew into a panic! I picked her up and ran to the bathtub, set her in it, and turned on the cold water, and pulled her onsie off. I was so scared! Her angushed cries were almost too much. It was so sad. After drowning her w/ cold water, I called the doctors office, and the nurse or whomever said to bring her in. Thankfully, she's ok. It wasn't nearly as bad of a burn as I though it was. I've never had that happen before. I was burned w/ hot oil when I was 10, and it was awful. My burn covered my entire left arm, from shoulder to wrist. My arm swelled to the size of a leg, and blistered and cracked. Jade's didn't brake any skin, nor does she have any blisters. Poor girl. I'm telling you, my hair is going to turn gray and fall out at an early age.
Other than that.... not too much else. I'm going to go play cards w/ a gf tonight, and maybe some bad karoke. Kids have school oreintation, and soccer oreintation this week, I'm working twice, and then off we go camping again for the next weekend. I can't believe school is starting in just one more week. I'm looking fwd to starting up the old routines, but NOT looking fwd to the early morning hours. I'm not so good in the morning. Besided being busy every night this week, I have to go school shopping for both kids. Both need new jeans, underware, socks, and lunch boxes. The backpacks from last year are still in good shape, they can use those again. Max's school supply list is HUGE. I'm going to drop a small fortune at staples. On top of all that, I've been in the process of rearranging the basemet. Cleanng out storage rooms, moving bedroom and toy rooms... getting rid of way to much shit. Where does it all come from?! Have a good day!!

Hola

2006-08-28T14:53:00.000-04:00

Uh-Oh

2006-08-18T11:45:00.000-04:00

What a week it's been. Jade is going to make my hair turn gray. She is only 16 months old, and you'll never guess what she learned to do. Flip out of her crib! I woke up to a loud thud followed by terrified cries. Poor baby. Crafty baby. She has a hard wood floor in her room, and she fell right on her face. No real damage or blood. She has a bruise/bump on her forehead, but other than that, she's great. I think that was on Tuesday. Then on Wed., she figured out how to climb the dining room chairs and get on top of the table. AHHH! She's determined to brake her neck. Our table is pretty high up, and the floor is tile. I can't turn my back for a second and she's on that damn thing. Now what? Should I get rid of the chairs? Or just continue to set her down and tell her 'no', and pray that the next time I have to take a piss, she doesn't hurt herself? Silly baby. Oh, and she figured out how to empty dresser drawers. Naughty.
I've been trying to clean all week, and catch up on laundry, but it seems as soon as I finish one task, the monsters have destroyed another. I've been really frustrated this week w/ this stay home mom business. I need a maid. Or I'm just incompentent. I have worked the last 2 nights, but even still. Why can't I get on top of things around here? Oh, and Jade threw up this morning. Just what I needed. My poor said baby is sick, my laundry is piled up, house needs attention, and 30 women are showing up at my house tomorrow morning for a baby shower, that I have to cook for. Oh damn. I'm a bit overwhelemed. I was planning on setting up some tables on the deck, so we can eat and have the shower out there, but somehow, b/c the forces in the universe are against me, my pool has turned green. Fuck me. Now what? Ideas anyone? Want some kids? I'll keep the sick crafty baby. But I could donate the other 2. They've been naughty this week to. I know its b/c they want my attention. Being that I've been trying to get a whole bunch of stuff done, I haven't been spending as much time w/ them as I normally would, so they're acting up, trying to get my attention. I've been holding my temper in check, b/c I understand the reasons, but yesterday, I was on the verge of meltdown. Today my sense of humor is back, and I'm not at all upset about all the impossible tasks I have to accomplish yet today. They'll come together somehow. Somebody out there has to like me. Maybe all of that good karma I've been storing up will come in to play today. I certainly hope so folks, cause I need a miracle.

HNT! Family Album

2006-08-17T11:32:00.000-04:00

Here is my family, minus my middle child. She wasn't in a picture sort of mood when we were on vacation. This is beautiful Lake Michigan... LOVE it here. I love that top picture of hubs and the baby in the water, the wave was just about ready to eat them. HHNT!

American Idol's Live

2006-08-16T14:49:00.000-04:00

What a great show! All of them have improved so much, and were a blast to see live. I was wondering how they were going to put it together. Each of them did 3 songs by themselves, and generally during the 3rd song, the next Idol would join them. Mandesa blew me away. She sounded great on the show, but holy cow! I'm surprised the roof didn't blow off when she let loose. Unbelievable talent! Ace shocked me. On the show, I didn't really care for him. He must have been taking lessons, b/c now, awesome. The one I like the least was Paris. She didn't do anything for me. Too much booty dancing, not nearly enough singing. Elliott, perfect. I hope he comes out w/ a CD too. Taylor was full of energy and crazy dance moves. The audience loved it. After the show, we hung around outside, and were able to meet some of them, which was cool. I met my boyfriend. Chris you know. SO SEXY. He's much hotter in person. And Kellie Pickler. She's beautiful, and very friendly. Chris was great to talk to too. mmm. hot. Ace, eh. He was ok. Lisa was kind of eh too. Taylor came around as well, but he seemed really cranky, and in much to much of a hurry to talk to anyone. He did sign autograph's though, but no conversation. That surprised me. Perhaps his title has already gone to his head?? There were tons of families there, and lots of younger kids. It cracked me up to see this young girls carry on. You would have thought the Rolling Stones just came over to shake your hand rather than the American Idols. It really was a great time. If I continue to be addicted to the show, I think that I would go to the concert every year. I had a great time, and I'd LOVE to bring Max w/ me. He watched the show w/ me all last season, and he was very excited to see the pictures that I took of Ace, Chris, Kelly and Lisa. I'm not going to put all of the pictures up, but I will put up my boyfriend for you :) I'm off to work, and the next few days will be busy. I'll try to update again on Saturday! Have a good week all.

Morning

2006-08-14T09:53:00.000-04:00

I had a good weekend. I didn't do much other than read, but it was just what I needed. I think I stayed home both Friday and Saturday night, and yesterday after church we had a family get together at a park. It was a beautiful day for a picnic at the park! It's always good to see our family too. From there we went to an open house for a friend's daughter. J missed her nap, and the other 2 were tired as well, so we had a family nap. PERFECT! That's how Sunday's are supposed to be spent.
Did you hear about the terriost's in MI? Right here in middle of nothing America. Three guys were arrested here after buying a ton of trac phones from Wal-Mart. I guess w/ trac phones, they cannot be traced, and they can be used to detonate bombs. What? Who figures that crap out? And HOW do they figure that out? These three guys were going to try to blow up the Mackinac Bridge. That's pronounced mac-in-awe, by the way. I live far away from there, but still! Geez. As terrible as this sounds, after 9/11, I felt relieved to live here, being that nothing inportant is here, or happens here. I felt safe. Until my dad pointed out that MI is one of the worlds leading places for fresh water supply. I never checked that out, so it could be wrong. And then this bridge blowing up thing. Will we ever be safe again? I don't think we will. I don't think these creeps are going to go away. I wish we could pull out of thier business and let them kill each other off. But even if we left them alone, I still don't think they would stop coming after the U.S. I've been living under a rock recently when it comes to news. I haven't read a paper, or watched tv for at least a month, up until today. I've heard a few reports about some liquid bombs or something on air planes... What is going on? Never mind. I don't think I want to know.
This week is going to be a busy one! Dentist appts for me and the kids on 2 different days, working 3 days, baby shower for Chicken is at my house Saturday morning, and American Idol live is tomorrow night!!! Woohoo! I have a 1000 things to do! I want to get my house work out of the way the begining of this week, and hopefully my little monsters won't screw it up. I'm going to spend all day Friday cooking for the shower, and hopefully finishing up any last minute house work or yard work. I'll be gone w/ appts all afternoon today, and most of the morning tomorrow. I'll be gone at night Tue, Wed, and Thur. Shower saturday, and working again all day Sunday. So busy! I'm going to update for sure after the A.I. concert though! I am such a nerd! I can't wait. Happy Monday bitches!

2006-08-11T13:14:00.000-04:00

OH MY GOODNESS! I had the best time EVER last night! I went to an 80's club w/ some girlfriends. I danced my ass off all night long to Madonna, Prince and Depech Mode. I don't think I spelled that right. Oh well. I also danced w/ a gay midget. Does it get any better than that? I think not. AND, guess where I'll be next Tuesday night?? American Idol LIVE bitches!!!!!!!!!!!!! woot woot! I can't stand how perfect today is. My face is sore from the perma-grin I've been sporting since last night. On top of all that, it's FRIDAY! LOVE LOVE LOVE today. Enjoy your weekend all!

I'm still alive!

2006-08-09T17:01:00.000-04:00

Hi! I've been busy w/ everything and nothing all at the same time. Kids have been keeping me occupied w/ swimming, soccer camps, and just running around.Everyone is behaving, and healthy, including me. Chicken and my bro are coming over for a cookout tonight! Woohoo! I LOVE it that she's done w/ working! I've been calling her at night for no reason at all. Just b/c she's home! woooohoooooooo. I LOVE it. I'm so excited for her baby to get here. I'm just as excited as if it was my own baby. I can't wait! I'm having a shower for her next weekend here. We've invited 30 or so, so I'm hoping 20ish will show. I'm sure it will be a good time. I don't know what to do about baby games. I kinda don't feel like it. Is that shitty? Would it be rotten to not play games at a baby shower? Hmmmm. I shall ask Chicken.
My sister called me today. That was weird. I haven't heard from her in nearly 2 years. Not b/c we had a falling out of any sort, but we just aren't close, never have been. We didn't grow up together, and lived in different houses, and she's 7 years younger than I am. I made a lot of effort when I was in my teens, but she never seemed interested in bonding with me. I'm ok with that. Blew me away when she called. Supposedly, she's going to stop by this week. We will see.
My 10 year reunion is coming up soon. I've been getting in touch w/ old friends as this reunion is being set up. It's been fun, seeing where everyone ended up. I found another old girlfriend last week. You ever run into old friends and wonder if you should hang out w/ them again? This one seems kind of odd. I can't put my finger on it, but I'm not sure that I want to rekindle the relationship. She's been calling me often. What do you do then? I should give her a chance. Maybe she isn't as off as she appears.
Anyway, kids are starting to piss and moan. Time for dinner. Have a good night!

2006-08-01T12:26:00.000-04:00

The fog is lifting, or it least it seems to be. I'm still lacking in motivation, but my feelings are coming around. I don't feel so overwhelmed now. The animals have been better behaved, and the kids have been doing well too. I started taking an anti-depressiant. Usually the week before my period, I have a hard time w/ feeling insecure, paranoid, irritated, and overwhelmed, but after 5 days or so, I'm back to normal. I've talked to my doctor about b/c it was starting to worry me. I think really weird shit that week. It was freaking me out. My doctor didn't want to put me on anything at that time, b/c I'd have to take a pill everyday, for it to be able to help me for 5, and as long as I could keep it in check for those 5 days, shouldn't worry about it. It's been a month now that I've been feeling all weird. I thought that it was time to try something. I don't know if it's the medication that's making me feel better, or if it's just me feeling better. I haven't been taking it very long, and I've heard it can take up to a few weeks to make any changes. I'll let you know. It seems kind of odd to be taking medication. I'm anti meds in general. But, I couldn't pull out of it on my own, and maybe this can help. Life is much too precious to spend it grumpy or pissed about things that do not matter. I'll let you know what happens.
This is the week where I'm suppose to reach my weight loss goal. Booooooo. I'm not there yet. I have a pound and 1/2 to go. I'm going to try a boost thing to see if that will do it. I'm really looking forward to making it to my goal! I'm one of those people who rarely finishes what she starts. The weight no longer matters, i'm not stressed about the 1 1/2 pds, but I want to do what I said I could. Just for me. I'm pleased w/ the outcome. 42 1/2 pds in 4 months, dropping nearly 30 inches, cutting my clothing size in 1/2, and not being grossed out when I look in the mirror anymore. It's a good feeling!
It is hotter than blazes up here right now! With the heat index, it is going to get to 110 today. Ick. We've had heat advisory's for the last few days. The humidity is awful. When you first go outside, it seems like you can't breathe, b/c the air is so heavy and thick. Max has soccer camp all of this week, but I'm not sending him today, too hot! We'll spend the afternoon in the pool :) The laundry will wait for me tonight. Have a good day all!

Oh man. I quit.

2006-07-26T23:33:00.000-04:00

The last few days have been rough. Kids have been whining and needy. Dogs an asshole. Cats pissed on the floor. Baby shit on the floor. Perfect. Baby threw a shoe and a toy into the toilet filled w/ peepee, b/c my kids don't seem to know how to flush. Hubs has been working LONG hours, so I've been on my own. I'm just not good at this mommy thing. I know that it isn't their fault, they're just kids. They do kid stuff. But I'm not right. I don't have the tolerance or patients that I need to deal w/ it. I'm empty. Time to recharge my emotional bank account. I just can't get it together over here. I'm overwhelmed w/ housework that needs to be done, and my kids, and my pets. You know how when you're already irritated about something, you start to notice all the smaller things that aren't a big deal, but become HUGE b/c you're already pissed? That's me this week. I don't like feeling like this, and I want to get over it. Why can't I pull my head out of my ass, and get on with it already? I'm lost in funkville. My kids are suffering for it.
I've had a lot on my mind this week. Maybe my funk has something to do w/ my struggle of what is it that I'm suppose to do? Or maybe not. I just know that I want to feel better. I want my house to be clean, my pets to cooperate, and to enjoy my kids, not cringe when they ask me for the 1000th time about something. I want to detach from the outside world, and hole up in my messy ass house, w/ my hubs. I'm feeling insecure too. It isn't PMS week, so I can't figure out what the deal is. Everything is just a bit too much for me these last few days. I need to insert myself in a bubble for awhile, and just be still. I need to sleep, and I need to feel loved. I haven't talked to my gf's nearly as much as normal either, and w/ my hubs working late, I've been cut off from the outside world. Yes, I just said I want to be closed off, but at the same time- eh. I'm a girl. I just hope I can work all this out in my head, like now. It used to be, when I had issues, I could have a little pep talk w/ myself, determine what I needed to make me feel better, and then I would feel relieved, and get right on making it happen the next day. I don't know what my needs are at the moment. So I guess I'll work on that for now.

2006-07-25T19:22:00.000-04:00

We had a great time on vacation! We didn't leave until last Sunday morning. Our first stop was here, at the Great Wolf Lodge. I've mentioned it before, but if you have kids, this place is a must! Our kids LOVE it, and so do we. It's fun. The baby even had a good time. Go figure. She can't stand the bath tub, but loves the pool, and the beach. Sleeping was a bit rough. J woke up at 3am, and didn't go back to sleep until 6am. Hubs and I had just fallen back to sleep (ahh), and the other 2 got up at 7. Sheesh. Hubs and I were none too pleased, but alas... So we were all a little grumpy as we left. From there, we drove to Ludington, which was about 2 1/2 hrs away. Wouldn't you know it. It was hotter than hell, and we have a broken air conditioner. Family of 5, very little sleep, cramped van full of shit, and H O T. Not so pleasant. Kids bitched back and fourth for the whole drive. Hubs made me giggle. He actually pulled the car over to the side of the road. Did your parents ever say that to you? "DON'T MAKE ME PULL THIS CAR OVER!" Mine said that, but they never pulled over. Haha. We were relieved when we finally pulled up to our campground. The campground was great. Not very big, shady lots, and it sits on a bluff, over looking Lake Michigan. It's called Buttersville. There is a very steep staircase that goes from the top of the bluff, down to the lake. Perfect. Private beach. Going down is no problem, but man! Walking back up all 80 steps after swimming and sunning all day w/ 3 kids and beach crap. OUCH. My legs were killing me by the end of the week! We had borrowed a camper for this trip, and it took a while to set it up. It was a nice camper! Plenty of room for us, and much more comfortable than sleeping on the ground, in a tent, as we normally do. When we finished setting up, we went straight to the beach. What a sight! There was a HUGE storm rolling across the lake. The lightning was shooting all across the sky, and then straight down to the water. Purple, gray and black clouds. Awesome. The storm was terrible! If you want, you can read about the storm Here. I'm so glad we had the camper! The storm reached us a few hours before it got to Grand Rapids, and the link for the storm info is from GR, but you get the idea. Instead of hanging out in the camper, we decided to find a restaurant, and then go grocery shopping. The worst of it was over when we got back to camp. The campground lost electricity and water for the next 24 hours. Icky. When the power came back on, they still couldn't get the well pump to work to get water back. My brilliant hubs fixed that. Thank God! He was the hero for the rest of the week :) We spent the next few days laying on the beach and swimming. Wonderful! The kids did really well, and all 3 of them had a blast. Hubs and I had a good time to. As soon as we could get the kids to bed, we'd get a couple of beers, and sit next to the fire to talk. Catch up. Its amazing how little time we have to do that at home. We get so busy w/ chores and kids, we forget to make time. So nice to get to do that. I loved being able to hang out w/ him for an entire week! When we got bored w/ the beach, we did some exploring in Ludington, checking out all the little shops. It's such a cute town. Quaint is a good word for it. I've already decided that I want to go back, but only w/ hubs, and I want to stay here. For some reason, I fell in love w/ that place. I just have to go back!
We also spent an afternoon at White Pine Village. That was cool too. WPV is I think 23 acres, and filled w/ historical buildings from Mason County. I think all of them are from 1800's. They have been moved from all over the county to WPV. All of the buildings are filled w/ antiques from that time period. Its a self guided tour, and you get to go through everything, which is awesome! It was cool to see how families lived in the 1800's here in MI. I love history, and it was great to be able to share that w/ my kids. They were really interested in all of the places we went through. We went through a farm house, barn, courthouse w/an upstairs apt, trappers cabin, print office, post office, ice cream parlor, blacksmith, hardware store, doctors office and a chapel are just a few of them. They had a lot of questions about different things, and what they were used for. When we were going through the house, I asked them if they had seen a bathroom. Well no mom, where is it? Te he he. They thought it was so funny that you had to go outside to pee in an outhouse. In the gift shop they had cook book filled w/ recipes from that time frame, which I found really interesting. I wish I would have bought a couple!!! That's ok, though.. I'll be back. We had such a good time. It was one of the most relaxing vacations we've had. Generally when we go on vacation, we go out of state, and every day we are there, we're going to check out the sites, constantly running. I think I preferred this, and it was so much cheaper. Very nice time. Its good to be home, but now I'm so far behind on things. I can't seem to catch up on the sleep that I lost either. J had a hard time sleeping pretty much all week, so hubs and I rotated getting up in the middle of the night and driving her around. Getting back is always the worst. Now I need a vacation from my vacation. LOL. I had good intentions to put up some pictures, but I haven't had time to get to them yet. They're on my list :) I'll get to it!

I'm back!

2006-07-24T16:50:00.000-04:00

Vacation was GREAT! We had an awesome time. I've been trying to catch up today. Tons of email, phone calls, and bills to take care of, not to mention laundry! ugh. I will post more about vacation, and pictures soon. but in the mean time... I got this in an email today. I have no idea what in the hell it is. Can't seem to follow it. See if any of you can figure it out! :)

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What in the hell is all that nonsense? And why would anyone send that crap?! Lemme know if you can figure it out :)

It was good!

2006-07-13T22:35:00.000-04:00

I had a great time meeting up w/ the girls I went to h.s. with! After 3 margaritas and a nice visit, I'm feeling pretty pleased :) We found lots to talk about. It was great rehashing rumors and hearing the truth beneath them. lol! Good stuff all around!
My hubs fixed the pool, handy sexy man that he is. yay! I hope we can get it back to perfect sooner than later! He's gone right now :( He got called into work. It makes me nervous when he works on jobs like these. He said this one was a pretty bad one. He really competent, but I still worry about him. I'm hoping I'll be able to sleep tonight. Perhaps the 3 margs will help.... Nite nite all!

2006-07-13T14:43:00.000-04:00

I had a rough night w/ the baby last night. She woke up crying her poor lil' eyes out, and there was nothing I could do to fix it. Nothing made her feel better. It was so sad. I was at a loss. I almost called the doc. Finally, after about an hour and a half of carrying on, I threw her in the car at midnight, and took a nice long country drive. She didn't fall asleep, but it did chill her out enough to go to sleep when we got home. I finally got into bed at 1. Ick. The only thing I can think of is that it might be her teeth. She's get 2 new molars in on the top. Poor baby. I hope we don't have another night like that!
I'm getting together w/ some girls I went to high school with tonight. I wonder how it will go... I haven't seen 3 of them since we graduated (10 yrs ago), and those 3, I wasn't friends with in high school. Not that we were enemy's by any means, just we didn't hang out. I hope it goes well and we can come up with shit to talk about. We're only meeting for drinks, so if it sucks, I can always sneak out. I'm sure it will be fine, but good grief. What do you talk about w/ 3 people you hardly know? The other 3 that are coming, I still see, so that's cool. I'll let you know. I'm thinking that it'll be a good time. Any excuse to break away from the family is sweet! Yay! Out twice in one week. Amazing!
I'm getting ready for our vacation today. Packing, laundry and cleaning. I'm so excited about going! We'll be at the beach all week. I hope the weather is bearable. It's hotter than heck today. I think the temp is 90 or so, but the humidity is terrible! The air is so thick out there, that it feels like you can hardly breathe. The worst. Oh, and our flippn' pool is broken. Of course it would be. Hotter than hell, why wouldn't it break? The pump is completely shot. Won't even make a noise when you flip the switch. Turning a nasty shade of green as I type. ick. I hope hubby can fix it. We don't really have the money to buy a new pump right now. We were planning of doing some work to it in the fall, but not now. Something will work out for us. Seems like there was something else I was going to tell you.... OH!!!!!!!!!! Woohoo! Finally lost another pound. Taking F O R E V E R now. 3 pds left kiddies.. That's it. I'm so close I can taste it. Catch ya later!

2006-07-06T17:50:00.000-04:00

I LOVE these pictures. My hubs is such a stud! And a good daddy to. These are from this weekend when we went camping. The first one I was trying to get everyone to 'look at mommy' but that didn't work, however, I think its even better this way. The other one is from the beach. Hubs set up his chair just a little way into the water, so he could keep the baby from going any farther out. Looking good babe, real good. :D Camping was fun! The place we camp at is really rustic! It's in the middle of NOWHERE w/o water or electricity. Kind of tough to rough it w/ kids who are constantly getting dirty! We spent time at the beach, riding our quad through the woods, and doing some fireworks. It was a great trip! I got stung by a bee though. OUCH. It wasn't like a little tiny bee either. It was a giant steroid type of bee. Hurt like hell! Right on the inside of my wrist. It swelled up and 1/2 my arm turned red. I still have a bump, and now it itches like crazy! Hubs found it for me (the bee), and killed it. My hero! I'm still tired, and recovering from the weekend. Wedding madness, and then 3 days of camping, boating, riding, and the beach. I'm not 10 anymore, I'm sore. Stinks to get old.
Today my gf and I brought our kids to a farm, and picked berries. YUM! Raspberries, and strawberries. The strawberries are HUGE, and beautiful. Picture perfect berries. I think we ate nearly as much as we brought home. I'm learning to make jam. I'm going to start the process tomorrow, I'll let you know how it turns out. See, I really am old. I'm all excited about learning to make jam, and can things. I even learned how to knit! lol. Where does the time go? Who knew that jam and knitting would get me nearly as excited now as a kegger and free pot used to. LOL!

It's Official!

2006-07-05T10:37:00.000-04:00

My best friend is now officially, my sister. The wedding was perfect! Beautiful Bride, beautiful setting, beautiful weather.... Went off without a hitch. Well, one hitch, in the sense that they ended up 'hitched'. lol. It was fantastic!!! Here are a few pictures for you. I have TONS to go through and download yet, so I'm sure I'll have more up this week. Chicken has not updated yet with her pictures or version, so be sure to check her blog too. I have lots more to tell you about the rest of the weekend, but no time for now! I'll get to it!

Woohoo and Shit!

2006-06-30T11:40:00.000-04:00

Let's do the woohoo first. I weighed in today!! I've lost 40pds!!!!!!!!!!!!! No flippn' way! Unreal! I can't believe it! I'm soooooo excited! I still have 4 pds to go, but so w h a t! 40 is terrific! My lull must be over. The last month has been really slow w/ weight loss. 1/2 pd one week, 1 pd the next, then up one, then down 3/4 of a pd. Frustrating! But today I went down 3 whole pounds! Y E S! I can do it! By my date. I will get 1/2 my money back! I promise to put up before and after pics next week. I'll have to have Chicken scan them in for me, b/c mine doesn't work, but I will do it. I was in a wedding last September, so I will use a picture of me from there for my before, and a picture from Chicken's wedding tomorrow for my after picture. I spent some time looking at the pictures from the wedding last September, and they were really awful. Like make me want to cry awful. It isn't any fun to see how fat you truly are. I knew I was heavy, but I didn't think of myself as a blimp, I think I was in denial. Those pictures broke my heart man. I don't really want to put them up, anyone to see me that way, but hopefully, the pictures from the wedding tomorrow will make up for those, and I'll look great. I hope so.
So on to the shit. What an awful way to wake up. One of my cats got sick this morning. I woke up to gross noises, and cat shit/vomit all over the floor in my bedroom and in the hallway. Oh nasty nasty nasty. I'm not a morning person. I'm cloudy and fuzzy and a bit grumpy till I get a cup of coffee down, needless to say, I was NOT happy, at all. GROSS. So, I'm cleaning it up. And my darling daughter runs into to M and J's room to tell them about the sick cat. J was awake, but playing happily in her crib. She's fine in there, until she see's you, then you HAVE to get her up. I didn't want to get her up until I cleaned up the cat mess! Grr! I went in there to get her, and dammit. She learned how to take her diaper off. She was standing in her crib, happy as a lark, naked as a jaybird, standing in a puddle. Ick. Then I had to stop cleaning cat mess, to clean up baby mess. Into the tub she went. When I got her settled, and the other kids breakfest, I went back to cleaning cat stuff. I brought my cats downstairs, to put them in the room w/ their food and box, and guess what I found?? MORE cat gross-ness. More cat clean up, and finally, back to the baby's room to take care of the crib. Oh my. What a begining of the day. Not a pleasent morning to say the least.
The rehearsal dinner for Chicken and my brother's wedding was last night. Awww. It's going to be so pretty. They are getting married outside, next to a small pond w/ waterfall, woods as the backdrop, and a lush green lawn for the guests to sit on in front of the pond. Perfect. We had a cookout at her mom's afterwards. The food was good! We had a good time. I can't wait until tomorrow!
We are leaving to go camping Sunday morning for 3 days. So today, I need to do all of our laundry, wash all of the sleeping bags, and pack everything up, being that I won't have time for it tomorrow. Busy busy busy day! Keep an eye here the middle of next week for pictures. I hope you have a happy 4th!

Link Practice.

2006-06-29T12:35:00.000-04:00

I'm trying to figure out this link business.
Chicken

This is where we went saturday night Grand Haven, MI

Are these working for you?

hmmmm... I think i'll get it someday. Thanks to
Keith for his help :)

Cleaning!

2006-06-28T19:33:00.000-04:00

I made a deal w/ myself that I would clean one room of my house everyday. Not normal cleaning, but the stuff I never do. Organize closets, wash windows, walls, and baseboards, oh, and dust e v e r y t h I n g. I suppose that's spring cleaning, but I didn't get to it till now. I'm amazed at all the stuff I'm finding. How in the world do we end up collecting so much junk? I'm not an organized person, at all. My house is generally free of clutter, b/c I can't stand that, but all of my closets are total chaos. I started today w/ my bedroom, thinking that would be the easiest to do. I pulled out 2 bags of clothes to donate, and a whole bag of shit. Stuff I've been saving for who knows why. I moved all of my furniture to clean behind it, and oh, my. How does it get so dusty under a bed or behind a dresser? Gross. I'm going to do M and J's room tomorrow, and I know that's going to be worse than mine. I'm saving the kitchen cupboards for last. There is something like 28 cupboards in my kitchen, and they are all full. Old tupperware that I never use, and all sorts of kitchen utensils that I never touch. I'm getting rid of it all! No more cupboard or closet chaos. My new mission.
Weightloss is still going. I was hoping to reach my goal by the wedding, but I'm still 5 pds shy. Shoot. I still have 4 weeks to get rid of that last 5, and I hope I make it!!!! I'll get 1/2 my money back if I succeed by that time. I'm pleased w/ myself. It hasn't been easy though. It didn't get hard until these last 10 pds or so. Up until then, the weight was just flying off. Now its trickling. Somewhat frustrating, but I know I can get there, and I will. I'm going to be sweating my ass off and starving if need be, but I WILL GET THERE.
Did you know puppies lost their teeth? I did not know that. I found one on my kitchen floor today and nearly puked. Nasty. I stepped on something, and when I picked it up, gag. Small bloody puppy tooth. Eww. I hope I don't find anymore of those. Why can't he lose them all outside somewhere? Ick.
I must be going. I want to get my kids to bed early tonight, so I can have some down time. I just started reading a new book and I want to dive into it. I've never read this author before, but so far so good. The story was confusing in the beginning, but now 8 chapters in (short chapters) its starting to make more sense, and get interesting. Besides that, my toes need to be polished. I bought a fab whore red for my toes :) I wouldn't wear it on my fingers, but perfect for the toes. Nitey nite all.

Hung Over...

2006-06-27T13:03:00.000-04:00

I have a hang over today. Not feeling so hot. Last night was my card night, and I had been really busy all day. I forgot to eat. Had a few drinks, and I was loopy. I just can't hang anymore. I'm too old. lol. I really did have a good time though. I didn't win, but I did do some fantastic karoke (rolls eyes here). Ah, what ya gonna do, can't be perfect all the time :)
My grandpa's funeral was yesterday. My mom and uncle did a good job of putting things together. I met some really interesting relatives. Yikes. My mom always kept my brother and I away from those people. Most all of them are trouble and have prison records. I met 3 cousins, all women, who were my mothers age, or older. They were Hispanic, and had corn rolls in their hair, and each of them wore at least a dozen gold chains. They looked like gangsters! They were telling my mom and I about another one of their sisters, how she was stabbed to death at a friends house, and how their mother( that would be my great aunt) was also stabbed to death, but in her own home. Oh my goodness! I didn't know any of that, and I hadn't met them ever before. I was joking w/ my mom later and asked why she never told me I was part Hispanic gangster. lol. Most of my other Aunts I knew about, but have never met. I've heard stories about them. They've all been to prison for all sorts of reasons. Fraud, assault, Robbery. And these are just the women. The men have worse records. I'm so thankful that my mom kept us away from all of that. She grew up in it, and with them, and it wasn't a good experience for her. Its like that entire branch of my family is all bad, all bad people. And my grandpa was like that. He changed in the last year, but up until then he wasn't a good man. I never really knew him when I was little. He was in prison for the first part of my life, and later when he would pop in, my mother made it very clear to me never to be in a room alone w/ him. He was never unkind to me, but I wasn't heartbroken when he died. That sounds so bitchy. I didn't know him, but I felt sad for my mama. Anyway, enough of that.
My brother's X girlfriend is in town. They dated years ago, and I always loved her. She left to join the Navy, and we hadn't seen her in years. She found my email address a few years ago, and we've kept in touch since then w/ that. She came over yesterday!!!!! It was great to see her! It has been 13 years since I saw her last. I liked her b/c she stood up for me all the time to my brother. When I had my first boyfriend, my bro didn't like him at all, and was trying to make trouble for me. Dick. lol. Jen had my back, and I've never forgotten her for it. We had a good visit! I'm going to try to see her again next week before she heads back home to TX.
We went out for Chicken's bachlorette party Saturday night. We had a great time. We went to Grand Haven, which is on the west coast of MI, right along Lake Michigan. We people watched, had dinner, walked down the boardwalk, checked out all the big ass boats, shopped a little, ate home made ice-cream at this fantastic old fashion shop, mmmmmmm it was sooooo good. Home made waffle cones too, dipped in chocolate w/ nuts, or chocolate w/ sprinkles. We finished the night watching the musical fountain which is much too cheezy to explain to y'all on here. It was fun. Nothing crazy, but a great time. The weekend turned out really well.
This Saturday is the day. Big wedding fun!!!! Thursday is our rehearsal dinner, I think I'll be helping chicken w/ wedding things on Friday, and then S A T U R D A Y. I've been thinking about my toast/speech thing, and I'm at a loss. Everything sounds mushy or cheesy or just plain retarded. I think I'm going to wing it. Something will come to me, right? I'll post pictures of the rehearsal and the wedding as soon as I get them home. My computer is having an issue w/ my camera, but I think I just plugged it in the wrong spot. Maybe. I wish I was more computer literate. Speaking of that, could someone please explain to me how to do links in my blog post? I thought I knew, but when I try it never works, and then I get pissed and want to throw this damn thing out the window or beat it to pieces w/ a very large hammer. Thanks, and pardon my tangent :)

Terrible.

2006-06-22T13:43:00.000-04:00

My mom's dad passed away last night. That's not the terrible part. What's terrible, is that no one called to tell her! She came in this morning at 8:45am, only to find an empty bed. She said that she collapsed on the floor, and broke down. AND, my poor mama was alone. TERRIBLE. He died at 12:05 last night. The nurse called one of my Uncles, and there was a miscommunication. He thought she was going to call the others, and the nurse thought he was, so neither of them called anyone. My mom is beside herself. I'm hoping to see her later today. I imagine its a good thing that he went so fast, much faster than they thought he would. So, here I go again. To my 5th funeral this year. Unreal. I hope this is the LAST one!

Good news too! My friend C went to the doc yesterday for her test results, and guess what??!! NO CANCER! The doctor said he was dumbfounded. He said that in all his 20 some years experience, he has never seen anything like this. He said her uterus was so messed up and full of tumors, that he was 100% convinced that he was going to have to break her heart, and give her the worst possible news. She still has to have her colon checked out, but so far, she is cancer free!!!!!!! She's bouncing off the walls, and feels like a new person. She said she feels like she can move on w/ her life now. I'm so thrilled for her! About time we had some more good news!

Happy Thursday all!

Morbid

2006-06-21T15:13:00.000-04:00

My mom's dad is dying. Yes, that would make him my grandpa, but I don't really know him, and I've never been close to him. To tell you the truth, I don't even like the guy, but I love my mom, so I'm there for her. She called last night at 11, crying, b/c he had taken a turn for the worst. She wanted me to pick her up, and bring her to him. I did, and it was weird. Death freaks me out. Not mine really, just other people. I'm not worried about me dying, but I certainly don't like to be around others who are. I'm sure it would be different if it were someone I loved, but it was rough going last night. He can't talk anymore, and he hasn't eaten or had anything to drink for 3 days. He will still open his eyes when you talk to him though, and he can shake his head yes or no, so he's still here, kind of. My mom was very upset last night, well right. She was trying to get him to talk to her, and she finally said " Are you ready to go home now dad? Are you ready to go home to Heaven?" and so on. I was thinking that whole time, what if he really isn't going to die, and he's just sick? What if he's too weak to talk to you, but he hears you just fine, and instead of encouraging him to feel better, your urging him to die? If that's the case, she's going to have a good ass reaming coming. They don't really know what's going on with him. They called it 'adult failure to thrive'. He doesn't eat hardly at all, even when he could. I'd be surprised if he weighs 70 pds. I didn't know a man could be that small, and still live. His upper thighs are the size of my forearms. Its bad. It sounded to me like another form of suicide. And if the doc's don't do anything about it, isn't that kind of like assisted suicide? He has said that when his time comes, he doesn't want a feeding tube, or to live on machines, so they just let him go. Starve himself to death. Gross, and completely freaky. I hope my mom gets through this ok. I'm sure she will, but there is so much going on w/ Chicken's wedding only a little over a week away. The hospice nurse told us last night that if he doesn't eat anything real quick like, he should pass within 5-7 days. Creepy. He already looks dead, and my mom was talking about him as if he were. I don't deal with those sort of things very well, but I want to be there for my mom. ick.
Better stuff! The make up guy came over to do Chicken and I up today. That was kind of fun. Chicken very rarely wears makeup(she's so beautiful she doesn't need it, bitch) so it was cool to see her all barbie style :) I'm having her bachlorette party this Saturday. Woohooo. We aren't doing much, but I'm sure we'll have a good time. We're going to go have dinner overlooking lake Michigan, take a stroll down the boardwalk/beach, and stop for ice cream. Nice evening out w/ the girls. OH, and I'm sure she'll bitch about this on her blog, but our grandpa was suppose to be my bro's best man, my gpa told my bro YESTERDAY, that he hurt his hip (LAME EXCUSE), so he doesn't want to be in the wedding now. He's fine. He could stand for 20 minutes, or chicken even said she didn't care if he needed a chair to sit in up there. What a rotten thing to do. The wedding is in 10 days! My bro is going to talk to him again today to see what the real reason is. Can't be just his leg. He's shy most of the time. I wonder if he never really wanted to do it, but didn't want to say no, and now he feels like he has a good enough excuse. Hmm. Prly not old man.
Lots of other interesting stuff has been going on lately, but as usual, I'm short on time. I drove around in a car last weekend w/ the alarm going off the whole time. That was fun. I couldn't figure out how to turn it off, and I couldn't get ahold of the people I borrowed it from. I finally pulled the horn fuse so at least it wouldn't beep. All the lights kept flashing though. LOL. Just another adventure in the land of Blue. hahaha. I hope all of you are well in blog land!

2006-06-14T14:23:00.000-04:00

Yesterday was a rotten day. My kids were naughty, my cats stupid, and my dog was an asshole. Everyone was trying to get under my skin! By last night I was ready to run away. I think Max is having a hard time adjusting to school being out. He usually my good kid. Not so much this week. He's really emotional, and mean to his sister. I can't stand it when they are mean to each other. Bound to happen, I know, but geez. He's been bossy, LOUD, demanding, and outright rude to Avery for no good reason. And he's having tantrums like he's 2 instead of 6. I have no patients for that! He's big enough to use his words, drives me nuts. I hope it doesn't take long for him to get used to being home all day.
I got in a fight w/ an OLD man the other day!!!!!!! I hope most of you read me enough to know that I'm not a mean spirited person. I don't fight w/ strangers, nor do I normally take offense at someone saying nonsense about me. BUT, this guy PISSED ME OFF! I was driving down the road, following this guy. Of course he was driving too slow, but whatever. We were only on a one lane street. The road eventually splits into two lanes, so when it did, I moved over to the right lane to go around him. He was driving on the wrong side of the car, he must deliver papers or mail or something. Anyway, he wasn't paying attention, so he took up both lanes. When I started to move forward, he must have just caught it out of the corner of his eye, because I saw him jerk his car over, and beep and me. I wasn't being the asshole, but ok. I would have been fine w/ a dirty look and honk, even though I didn't do anything wrong, but he didn't let it go. When we got up to the light, he rolled his window down and started yelling at me! "DUMB SHIT! DON'T YOU KNOW HOW TO DRIVE? WHY DIDN'T YOU GET OFF MY ASS BACK THERE! STUPID BITCHES DON'T KNOW HOW TO DRIVE!!" I couldn't believe his nerve! Talk to ME that way. I tried to be diplomatic about it, and nice. I said "EXCUSE ME!!!!!!! WHAT DID YOU SAY TO ME! YOU sir, were not paying attention to where you were going and took up both lanes! I just moved to the side to take my own lane. It isn't me who doesn't know how to drive." Meanwhile, he's STILL bitching, calling me names. I told him to watch his mouth please, I have kids in the car. I relize now that I just should have rolled up my window and ignored the ranting bastard, but he was so rotten! I couldn't. So I gave in to my frustration and flipped him off while he was still bitching. For some reason, he could say whatever he wanted to me, but he was MOST offended when I did that. He did some head-bob thing and stuck his head farther out the window, his outrage clear on his face. Then he says"IS THAT RIGHT???" and I responded "Absolutely right! Is there something you'd like to do about it, you old fucker!" Of course I had to mouth the word 'fucker' b/c my kids were in the car. MY GOODNESS! I can't believe how mad I was. I can't remember the last time I was that pissed. I suppose it's a good thing they were in the car, b/c otherwise I might have gotten out of my car to hit him in the face w/ my shoe. Max was a little confused by what had happened. He wanted to know why that stranger was yelling at me. The best I could come up with on the spot was "He's a crabby old man w/ no manners!" That seemed to work. I wonder how many of that man's filthy words my kids heard. So far, they haven't repeated any. For now. I'm sure it will come out at a most inconvient time. Like at church. It'd be perfect for one of my kids to start yelling about dumbshits then. Or stupid bitches. For cryn' out loud! I called hubs after that confrontation, for his comfort, loyality, and support. And do you know what I got??? He laughed his ass off. Thought it was hilarious! He said that crabby old men crack him up. Thanks, babe. I'm glad old men calling your wife bitch tickles you so. lol. I see the humor in it now, but not then I was too pissed!
Nothing else too exciting around here. I've been laying out by the pool all afternoon w/ a smutty novel. Rough life, I know. Today has been much better. I have to go to work tonight, and then I'm off to go roller blading. I need some exercise. I have to weigh in tomarrow morning and i'm nervous about it. I'll let you know how it goes. Have a good afternoon!

Oh, and spell check isn't working, so just sound them out!! lol!

Monday Monday.. da daa da dada dah

2006-06-12T08:26:00.000-04:00

What song is that? I can only remember that part. Anyway. Good morning! I had a nice weekend. On Friday, I went out w/ some friends for a birthday. We had really good food, and a good visit. That's always nice. Saturday, hubs and I played in a 108 person no limit hold em tourney. I finished 5th! Woohooo! I can't believe that I made it that far. I was short stacked so often. We started w/ 1000.00. When everyone else had an average of 4000 chips, I had 200. Yep, that's it. I thought for sure I was done, or would be in a few minutes. I kept pushing my chips all in, thinking that it was over for me. I kept winning! I ended up making my small stack grow to nearly 20,000 in about a half hour. It was awesome. I was the comeback queen. A chip and a chair was my anthem. My girlfriend watched the kids for us. Originally, I told her that at least one of us should be done by 9pm, but we were both still in. She said that everything was fine, and not to worry, no need to rush. We kept calling to update her. When hubs called her back at 11, he was done, but I was not. She said that all of the kids were sound asleep, and why bother waking them up in the middle of the night, just come and get them in the morning. What? For real? You'll keep them ALL night??? S W E E T! If I would have known such a thing ahead of time, I would have much rather been doing something else. But cool anyway. I ended up playing till 3am. I can't remember the last time I was that flippn tired! Yesterday, I took a nap, and went to visit some friends I haven't seen in awhile. A very nice weekend overall.
I woke up crabby today. I wish I wasn't. Today is the first day of summer vacation, so I should be geeked. I'm hoping the coffee will help me out. I'm getting my new computer today! Should be up and running by late afternoon. I hope everything works when it all gets put together. I can't think of anything else, so happy Monday all!

Good and some Bad

2006-06-09T14:39:00.000-04:00

Good news! Mom in law is in the clear. The thing in her chest is scar tissue from the radiation. NOT CANCER! wooooooooooooohoooooooo! I'm thrilled w/ that news! My Uncle's brain surgery went well. They found 2 tumors when they got in there. One was just a fluid filled cyst, and the other was a cancerous tumor, 4 inches in diameter. HUGE. They were able to remove 90% of it, and feel strongly that w/ radiation and chemo, he can survive it, so that too is good news. Baby E is feeling much better too. He has pneumonia now. Poor sad baby. The doctor gave him steroid shots, and antibiotics, and he is almost back to himself.
I have a stupid cat. I actually have 2 cats. Mike and Boo. They were meant to be inside cats, but Boo started sneaking out last year. He likes to prowl. I don't know why. He's fixed, and clawless, but whatever. Mike on the other hand, has always been terrified of the outdoors. Boo must be rubbing off on him though, because he's been wanting to explore a bit. I don't mind. He doesn't go far, and as soon as I say his name, he starts crying and comes running in. Yesterday he was out in the front yard, and caught a mouse. Avery let him, and his little friend IN MY HOUSE. I was vacuuming, and not paying attention. Avery starts tugging on my arm, "mama, there is a MOUSE in here!" I ignored her, thought for sure she was lying. She continued on, so I finally turned off the vacuum to talk to her. Sure enough.. There it was, right behind me. Beady eyed little creepy bastard. And WHERE was my stupid cat???? Snoozing. All tuckered out. I ran into the kitchen and grabbed my weapons of choice. A spatula and a strainer, of course. I went back into the living room, ready to capture it. I was crawling all over the floor w/ my weapons, mumbling to myself. Avery meanwhile is having a fit of giggles. I had him in my sights. I was c r e e p i n g along, trying to catch him by surprise. And wouldn't you know it, he ran right into my face!! My bravery and dignity fled, and I screamed like a little girl, jumping and all. These caused my 4 yr old to practically pee her pants. Unreal. Ungrateful little brats, no respect :) I gave up on my mission, and drug my sleeping cats in to the living room in hope that they would prevail. I forgot all about the mouse. Last night I was sorting laundry in my bedroom, and my retarded cats were running in between my legs. I assumed it was because I was throwing things around. I stepped over them, and sure enough, my furry friend was back. You'll be proud of me. I didn't flake out. I didn't even scream. I picked him up by his tail, and threw him out the front door. And then I scrubbed my hands for 20 minutes. I wonder where this icky mouse thing came from??? I never used to be bothered by them. I even had a pet rat in high school. Is it because I'm turning into an old hag?? Hmmmm... I'm so not cool anymore. Too old :) Loud music and mice bother me. Not to mention piles of laundry. When did I start to care about that nonsense? And have you gotten hurt lately? Do you remember being 8, and wiping out on your bike, bleeding all over. I'd cry for 3 minutes, and I'd be back out on my bike. If that happened to me now, I'd be in bed for a week! LOL. Have a good weekend all!

HELLO!

2006-06-07T12:45:00.000-04:00

yes, I'm alive :) My computer and blogger have been plotting against me to make it impossible to post! BUT, I've outsmarted them! muhahaha!

I haven't updated in awhile. So much has been going on. Hmm. Where to start. Fun stuff first. Over the holiday weekend, I drove to the other side of the state to visit my run away friend. If I knew how to do the link thing, I so would, but I don't, sorry. She's great! She finally bought her own home there, and got on her feet. She's got a great job, and the kids love their new daycare. I was happy to see her. It's been awhile since I saw her last. I went ALL BY MYSELF! No Hubs, no kids. AND, I stayed the night. It was great, and we had a really good time. Her divorce has been started, and with any luck and a special permit from the judge, she will be divorced before her nasty X gets out of jail. Yay for her, and to starting over.
Weight Loss is still going well, but it has really s l o w e d down. I've lost 35 pounds now, and I'm loving it. Oh, I've lost nearly 20 inches as well. I've cut my size in half. I went from a 14 to a 7. Woohoo for me. I'm within mere pounds of my goal, and am desperately trying to reach it before Chicken's Wedding. Only 3 more weeks!!
I am so excited for the wedding. I can't believe that its almost here. I found shoes to go with my dress, and the jewelry that Chicken bought for me to where is beautiful. I'm starting to think about my toast, I should get that done. I don't know how I'm going to be able to get through it. I'm going to be blubbering like a baby the whole day. My bestest friend ever and my brother. Getting married, and having babies. I get teary eyed just thinking of it now. Aww.
Jade is officially a walker now. It's adorable. She walks on the balls of her feet, w/ her head forward, so she more kind of runs. Looking like she's going to fall on her face at any given moment. Tehehe. Cute baby.
My older kids are great too. We have finally reached the very last week of school for max. 2 more days. And we are freeeeeeee! Woohoooooo. I love summer.
We opened our pool on the holiday weekend. It's so gross when we first take the cover off. Looks like a swamp. The water is clean, but the pool is still cloudy, and its cold! I'm anxious to get the solar cover on it heat it up, but being that it isn't clear yet, I've been vacuuming it and brushing it everyday, and the solar cover is just too hard to get on and off 2 a day by myself.
My hubs got a promotion at work! I'm proud of him, he deserved it. He got a nice raise to go along with it. With his new position though, his hours are longer, and he can get calls on the weekends. His new position is going to make working at the hotel a little more difficult for me, b/c I never know when he'll get home now.
Ok, now the not so good news. My mother in law had the lump in her armpit biopcied, and it came back good. No cancer! But, in the follow up testing they did, they found something in her lungs. They haven't determined if its a tumor, or maybe an infection, so they are sending her back to her cancer doctor tomorrow. I hope its nothing. I really hope so. Such a roller coaster. It was hard when we found out about the breast cancer. But the treatment, and the double masectomy, and the radiation fixed it. She's been cancer free now for nearly a year. I was and am so thankful. Then the lump in the armpit thing, came back good, so we continued to celebrate her health. Now this. It must be awful for her to have this hanging over her head all the time. Always wondering if its going to come back, or when it is. I know its emotionally draining for hubs and I. I love her, and worry about her all the time. I want her to live a long life, and not have fear of it.
My friend C, w/ the uterine cancer is having a hard time too. Her surgery isn't for another week, but she's in terrible pain. She couldn't take it anymore and went to the hospital to see what they could do to get rid of the pain. They found that she also has swollen lymph nodes. When she called her doctor to follow up what the hospital had told her, her doctor said "Oh no. It must be progressing a lot faster than we first thought, or you wouldn't be in pain. We need to get that out of there." So NOW the asshole doctors are hussiling to get things done. Why don't they do that in the first place?! C's holding up great emotionally, she just wants answers, and to get rid of it.
Baby E had his biopsies done yesterday. He had 3. One on the liver, muscle tissue, and skin. It went well, but he came down w/ a fever, and puking. Getting sick in general is bad for him. His doctors said that they worry that if he gets sick "it'll push him over the edge." Whatever that means. His mom brought him to the ER, and I haven't heard yet what's going on. To get to his liver, they couldn't go through his belly button, so they made a cut just under his ribs on the right side. I hope nothing is infected!
My Uncle is also in the hospital. He was having problems w/ his vision, and feeling disoriented. He went in to see if he had had a stroke. He didn't have a stroke, but they found a HUGE mass in his brain. He is having brain surgery tomorrow morning. Good news though, they don't think that its cancer.
When it rains it poors. These are all people that I care very deeply for. I just want them well. I'll keep you posted!

I'm Still Here

2006-05-31T15:17:00.000-04:00

I've just been busy, as usual. I will try to post all my latest tomorrow. Hope all is well with you blogland!

Dance Dance Dance

2006-05-21T18:59:00.000-04:00

My beautiful little girl did a fantastic job Friday night! I was so impressed! We had a good time. Her dance was quick, but it was a lot of fun to watch the other classes too. They did some really cool stuff. J didn't do well, as expected :( Hubs was able to stay until Ave's dance was done, and then he took the baby home and put her to bed. By the time we got home from the recital, it was nearly 11. I had to get Ave in the tub still, that couldn't be put off. As you can see from the pictures, her hair was more than crispy, and the make-up HAD to go. Her hair turned out great! I bought one of those little curling irons that has the spiral thing on it. Before curling it, I put gel in it, and let it dry. Then as I curled each piece I sprayed the hell out of it :) It lasted until we got home! I had to wash her hair twice to get all the gunk out! It was a late night for us. My kids are generally in bed no later than 8:30! She has informed me that she doesn't want to go to dance next year. She wants to play soccer. So does my son. I signed them up! It's much cheaper than dance, and she isn't all that graceful. Maybe soccer would be more suited to her. We'll see how it goes, and the following year she can choose what she'd rather do. I'm only going to allow them one after school activity each. I don't want to end up taking kids to a different sport/whatever each night of the week. Only one! It'll be up to them to choose what they'd like. Isn't she beautiful???? Aww. My big girl. You know, it hits me at different times that my kids are getting so big. Like last night. I was reading a book in the living room, and the house was dark and sleeping. I heard someone get up. Because they didn't call for me, I went to investigate to see who was getting into what. I found my son in the bathroom, getting a drink, in the middle of the night, all by himself. This may not sound all the amazing to you, he is 6 afterall. But that is the first time ever he has gotten up late at night, and not called for me to help him. Took care of it himself. Hot dog! Nice, very nice. But makes me feel a little weird. He doesn't lean on me as much as he used to. I've been encouraging them to solve their own problems, and help themselves more often, but when they do. Wow. Getting all grown up on their mama :)
I took the afternoon off on Saturday. I was more than ready for a break. I went shopping, for 4 1/2 hours, w/ NO kids! It was just what I needed to reset my nerves. The rest of the weekend has been uneventful. Fine w/ me, I had oodles of laundry to catch up on! I think I'm down to 5 loads now. I can't wait to get it all done. Even if it is only for a minute :)

Mom of the Year

A little better..

I can't stand it.

More Loss

Shit shit shit!

Dreams

I'm not witty enough for a title today.

I love you blogger.

in hopes of riding my insomina...

Wed already?

WOOT for Friday

I miss you

O MY!

Grammy's, snow days, and nonsense

Adventure Nipplegate

Blah.

Skeleton in my closet..

Work, again. ugh.

Where's my Trophy??

Happy Birthday my Avery.

Sad Mama

Penetrate...

Gardening

Funny!

Hmmmmmm

Kids for sale!

Happy New Year!

Anyone out there??

been forever..

hello friends!

Sick Girl

HI!

Belly Dancing

More Pictures!

Time to Move

Puke puke puke puke

Holy Line Batman!

Dead Presidents...

Happy New Year!

Happy Holidays!!

go figure.

C R A B B Y

I'm still here...

Adventures and Potty Training

Morning

Great Weekend!

Happy Thanksgiving Bitches!

Tooth Fairy

Where's My Trophy?

Lots of Stuff

Whose Your Daddy?

So Long Jack

Halloween, physco's, and breasts

Another week gone by

hello

No Gloves??

Morning

Let it Snow!

Lots of Things

Hello Blogland.

baby pictures!

He's HERE!

YES!

Soccer Star!

Blah

No Baby Yet.

Let me Try This Again..

Stupid %^(*(&$#^*^&*^& blogger!

Muhahahaha

Hola

Hola

Uh-Oh

HNT! Family Album

American Idol's Live

Morning

I'm still alive!

Oh man. I quit.

I'm back!

It was good!

It's Official!

Stupid %^((&$#^^&*^& blogger!