Broken Kitty :(

My poor sad kitty is broken. Mike is my cat, he's my baby. He's a huge black cat. He's kind of skittish, and doesn't really like anyone but me. He's more like a dog than a cat. He understands me, and comes when I call him. Now he's broken...
Avery was having a trantrum b/c she didn't want a nap. She has this awful habit of slamming her door when she angry. Poor Mike didn't see it coming. He didn't jump out of the way quite fast enough. She caught the tip of his tail in the door. I didn't realize at first that she got him. I thought he moved fast enough. A short while later, I was going thru the kitchen, and I saw blood on the floor. When I looked by Avery's door, I saw cat hair, and more blood. Mike was in hiding, I couldn't find him. I started to panic a bit. I finally found him hiding under Max's bed, pissed off and bleeding. Oh man, it was gross. I felt terrible for my cat, and really angry w/ my daughter. I called the vet, and they said to bring him in.
When Avery got up, I told her what had happened. She felt bad, she didn't know Mike was there. I tried to explain to her how serious it was, and could have been. I wanted her to get it. Hubs and I weren't sure what sort of consequence to give her, but we decided on her coming to the animal hospital w/ me and Mike, to talk to the Vet. The vet explained that they would have to cut his tail down a few inches, stich it up, and wrap it. She did a good job explaining it so Avery understood that Mike was going to have to be given shots, lose part of his tail, and wouldn't feel very good for a few weeks. He had to spend the night w/ the vet. Avery felt awful, and has been very careful about shutting doors. I hope it keeps up.
We picked Mike up this morning, and its very sad :( He still has a good length of tail, but even still. He's gone into hiding. When he decides to come out, I'll snap a picture for you. Sad kitty.
What a week! Can't it get much crazier around here?!? My kids are being good today, thank God! The past few days I could have thrown them off a roof w/o guilt! Tonight we are having our regular poker game, and tomorrow we are having a New Year's party. I think we'll have somewhere b/w 15-30... Not sure exactly how many, but I'm looking fwd to it. Everyone is bringing their own drinks and a munchie, and we are ordering pizza, so there is very little work for me to do. Woohoo! Happy New Year!!

Rough night!

I wasn't feeling very good last night. I have some sort of sinus issue that is causing awful headaches. Hubs was fantastic, and told me I should just go to bed, get some rest. Lovely. It was 7:30. I couldn't wait to get in bed. I climbed in my nice comfy, cushy, bed, in that one spot. You know the one. You generally can't find it till 5 minutes before you have to get up. Ahh, yes. So cozy, so quiet... peaceful. And then, 20 minutes later.... I was woken up by my daughter screaming, the baby crying, and things falling. I was SUPER pissed. Hubs was suppose to have this- What in the HELL is going on out here? I found the baby on the floor in the hallway, crying her poor sad baby eyes out, and Hubs was in the bathroom w/ Ave trying to get her in the tub. She was crying, yelling that she didn't want a bath, and pushing bottles of shampoo of the tub on to the floor. Hubs was very calm, and she was being a dick. I was in a sleep crazed haze- not quite awake yet, but totally pissed. I told hubs I'd handle this and take the baby, oh, and I hear Max crying about something as well. I went and got a wooden spoon, told Ave to be quiet or she was going to be in trouble (hence the spoon). I believe I also uttered an absolutely terrible phrase such as "knock it off, or I'm going to beat ya". Geez. I can't figure out where the mom of the year trophy is. My poor kids. I can't not believe some of the crap that flies out of my mouth when I've lost my mind. I don't think she heard it, I hope she didn't! Rotten mommy. After Ave's bath, it was Max's turn. He's usually good about it, but not last night. Cry cry cry, complain complain complain. Meanwhile, baby is crying, won't take a bottle from Hubs. I'm suppose to be sleeping right now, getting rid of this headache, which is only get worse, and I'm getting more and more short of temper. Get Max out of the tub, take the baby, give her the bottle. And of course, she takes it just fine from me. Okay, now older kids have brushed teeth, and hubs is getting them into bed. and once again, they are crying. They want MOMMY to tuck them in. Little bastards. I'll do it. Go into Avery's room first, and step on a hard plastic doll pacifier. It jammed ever NOT so pleasantly into the arch of my barefoot. I grunt to cover up my "sonofabitch", and promtly throw it. Still holding it together. BARELY. Avery has a tent on top of her bed, so to tuck her in, you have to lean into the tent. I lean in and WHAM! She HITS ME IN THE FUCKING HEAD W/ A PLASTIC DOLL!!!!! Holy shit motherfucker, I am suppose to be in my mothering fucking bed right now and what in the hell is wrong w/ these children?! K, I didn't say any of that, but it went through my head. OH MY GOSH, I can't handle this anymore, hubs please take over, I'm getting out of here. Hubs tried to give me a hug, I was close to tears, but I couldn't let him, b/c I was in rip off your fucking head mode. I just stepped out, and then Ave is crying again, b/c she hurt mommy. She didn't mean to, she just meant to throw it b/c she was mad about going to bed, but I leaned in just at the right moment. Good grief. What a night. After I cooled off, I went and kissed Avery, and told her I was ok, and please don't throw your dolls. I know it was an accident, it's ok. After all that nonsense, I finally climbed back into bed, an hour and 15 minutes later. Hubs felt bad. He didn't know why the kids were terrible, and was sorry that they woke me up, but thanks for helping me... Try to go to bed early, and the natives go wild.... That's what we mothers get.

Christmas Pictures!

These pictures are GREAT. I never know what order fucking blogger will put them in- so, as you can see, my beautiful baby was TERRIFIED of chicken dance elmo. I almost peed my pants when I saw the pics! And my daughter, beautiful girl. Her twisty buns had fallen out due to the vigorous present opening. I'd love to show you my son, but after the darth vader voice changer helmet, he just wouldn't take it off. Its a cool toy. You can change your own voice, or you can push a button to get Darth breathing, and some phrases. Fantastic present Chicken :)

Dammit!

I got 1/2 through this very descriptive post of my holidays and events, and then I fucking lost it. Damn you blogger! GEEZ. So now I'm just going to do the short version. I can't believe its been a week since I've posted. It has been crazy busy. Christmas Eve we spent w/ some friends roasting hot dogs in the fireplace, having a few drinks, and everybody brought a dish to pass. It was a really nice way to spend the evening. The weather has been super mild which is retarded. But then again, this is Michigan. Our weather is always bananas. We had ass loads of snow all the way up to Christmas, and then, it all melted! Gone. Christmas is the only acceptable day to have snow. I can deal w/ it then, and even enjoy it. The worst is that I know it will be back till at least March. All that, and no snow for Christmas. Unreal.
Christmas day was fantastic. We went light on gifts this year, but even still, couldn't have been better. I love watching my kids tear open presents, and seeing their eyes light up. We spent the day w/ family, and had an awesome time. Good food, and good company too. I love love love it that Chicken gets to be a part of that as well. Its lovely to have your partner in crime present at all family functions. She and my bro better get married soon. I want more nieces and nephews! My kids were spoiled, and I also got some fab things. I love Christmas, but next year, I'm going to do less! I want to be able to thoroughly enjoy the holidays, rather than lose my hair over what has to be made for which event, and stay up till all hours of the night wrapping gifts. One thing I'd like to do again- I made my brother a scrap book filled w/ pictures of us together when we were little. He loved it. I've never done anything like that before, but it was fun to make, and he really appreciated it. Made giving the gift that much nicer. I would like to spend more time thinking of thoughtful gifts, and MUCH less time cooking and cleaning.
The girls are finally better! No more coughing or sickness of any sort. My son must have the immune system of an Ox, b/c he never got it at all. He was sniffling and kind of coughing for a day, so I kept him home, but by the next day, he was much better!
Monday we tried to find places for all of our loot, and clean up. I'm continually amazed but how my house can go from shining to dump in a very little time frame. I still haven't gotten it all back to normal! Hope I can do more tomorrow. I would like a clean house again!
Today I had an extra kid all day. My good friends had a baby today! She's beautiful. She has more hair than I think I've EVER seen on an infant. Cutie. I had their son all day. He's a really good boy, so no problem there. It just made it kind of a crazy day w/ 4 small kids in the house.
I hope all your holidays were the best. I promise to post regularly now!!!

Madness!

I have been so busy! The weekend w/ hubs family at the hotel was fun. The kids had a ball, and so did most of the grown ups. I didn't really get to participate in any of the card games or board games, but I was content. I caught up on sleep for sure. Hubs took ave to the doc on Friday before we left. The doc gave her some steroids also, and since then, she's been much better. I thought that Jade was better, but she has a fever today. Her first fever ever, and its 102.4! Poor baby. My kids have been healthy all year, up till now. And of course, happens to be the week before Christmas. I hope everything is gone by this weekend. It would really suck to have to stay home w/ sick kids and miss out on all of our family/friend gatherings.
We got home from the hotel on Sunday afternoon, and went directly to bowling. I'm getting better!! I think we started a few months ago(we play every other Sunday, I think Sunday was my 5th game) and I'm now getting 20 - 30 pins more per game. That's pretty good, at least I think so. From bowling, I went shopping for Avery's birthday. We had her birthday party on Monday night. I can't believe she's 4! I cry every time my kids have a birthday. I'm so proud of them, its exciting to watch them grow and change. At the same time, it makes me sad that they are becoming big kids. These years go by so fast! Too fast. Avery had a great birthday. I'll try to post pics of it later this week.
Tuesday I went to school w/ Ave for her Christmas party. I coordinated it this year, and it went well. There are 8 little girls in her class, so cute! At recess time, we went down to the gym so they could run off some steam. All of them immediately started running in a big circle, screaming. It looked like fun, so I joined them. In the corner of the gym, there was a HUGE pile of those big squishy mats, and I belly flopped on them. The other parents that were there looked at me as if I had lost my damn mind. Haha! They must not run around w/ their kids acting like retards. I bet they don't play karate ninjas either. lol. Losers :) After school, a friend came home w/Ave, and I hung out w/ her mom. Good times. Last night I cleaned a house. Worked my ass off, and I'm paying for it today. The rest of this week was as busy as the first half. Bah! I will post more when I have more time!

HNT- Late

Hi all! Much to tell, but not nearly enough time. I got a hair cut today. My hair used to be just past the middle of my back and no bangs- check it out now.


















The top left is an AWFUL picture. I don't take good pictures! Bah! But I wanted you to see the front. You may not be able to see the side swiping bangs, but they are there- look closely. It's much shorter than it used to be. The bottom left is a nothing picture, but I thought my color looked good :) And the last one is a very short pony.

We are headed to Toledo tomarrow w/ 3 sick kids. Yep, all three of em. Shoot! Max isn't as bad as the girls, he's just starting to cough and sneeze, but I hear it coming. I'm seeing a pattern here. Ave came down w/ a fever tonight of 101... And the baby's ok, just coughing still.

I have to make 2 doz cupcakes, 4 doz cookies, a 7 layer dip, and white chili, all tonight. Piss. I'll be up forever. I need to clean my house too. Nothing is worse than coming home from a weekend trip or vacation to a messy house. Have a great weekend, and HNT!

oh NO

Crap. Ave came down w/ croup last night. My doc said that older kids don't usually get it. Of course MY kids would. Poor girl. She woke up in a coughing fit last night. As soon as she started coughing, I knew. I'm keeping her home from school today, but I hope she gets better faster than the baby did. Her birthday party is Thursday night, we could always reschedule, but that would devastate her. She's having a joint bday w/ one of the other girls from her preschool class. The party on Thursday is for all the kids in her class. Friday, we're leaving for Ohio for the weekend to celebrate Christmas w/ hubs family. It would SO suck to be stuck in a hotel room w/ a sick kid. I don't think I would go if she were still feeling bad. I hope that doesn't happen. I suppose its better she's sick this week, rather than the next. And at least both girls were not sick the same week. I got a brake in between. Nice.
I feel better today, not so stressed or cranky. Hubs made me feel better. I need to keep my attitude in check. I was being impatient and ornery w/ my family, for no other reason than my mood. That's terrible!
I have to work tonight! Woohoo. I haven't worked in a month at least, and I'm looking forward to it. I'm going to ask them about regular hours after the first of the year. I need to work now. Money is tight. If they could give me 2 nights during the week, and every other weekend, that'd be perfect. They are super flexible, so I could wait to go in after hubs got home. I love my job :) They are good to me there. I just hope they can fit regular hours in for me.

Busy Busy Funk Funk

The weekend was busy! I knew it would be, but geez, it kicked my ass. I was so tired last night. I couldn't keep my eyes open, nor could I be patient w/ my family. My fault for stacking up too much over the weekend.

Saturday was unreal. Kids had to be to church at 9am for practice. Right after that, we went to an extended family Christmas party. My hubs has a HUGE family. This party is w/ all of his Aunts, Uncles, and cousins. I don't know any of their names, and I don't like to go, but hubs parents would be upset if we didn't make it, so we go. I try to avoid awkward situations by never speaking to anyway w/ their name. Ha! Next up was the memorial service for Chicken's grandpa. That was rough. I didn't know him well, but it was hard to see my friend so tore up. Her family has a different religious background than mine, so the service was very different for me. All funerals are sad, but somehow, this one seemed worse. From the memorial service, I went to a birthday party. From the birthday party, I went to a poker game, and lost. Sucked.

Sunday we had to be at church at 9, for the kids Christmas pageant. My son was a shepard, and my daughter a sheep. lol. It was cute. We went to breakfast w/ my family afterward. And THEN, we went to see the Trans-Siberian Orchestra! That was an awesome show. I had never been, and I hadn't really heard of them either. They played for almost 3 hours, and were very high energy. The light show was like nothing I've ever seen, and they had some sweet fire stuff too. It was heavy metal-ish Christmas music. If you have a chance to see this group, you should! I think hubs and I will go again next year. It was very cool, and Blue approved. It was a good weekend.

That being said, I'm in a funk. Overwhelmed w/ Christmas stuff, my daughters fast approaching birthday, housework, bills, and hubs. I'm feeling bad. There is so much going on, and I can't figure out how to manage everything, pay for it all, or keep up with it. I want to cut myself out from the rest of the world for a few days, hide, and sleep. Nothing is all that bad, but I can't shake the emotional coaster I'm riding. I want to get off and level out. It will all come together soon, it always does. But just knowing that doesn't comfort me much... Looking bleak.

Snow Day!

When I was in school, I LIVED for snow days. There was nothing better than laying in bed, listening to the radio, waiting for your school to come up. And when it did... ahhhh.. Roll back over, and fall into the best sleep of your life. My kids have a snow day today! I don't have to bring anyone anywhere!! And, its Friday. Western Michigan had between 6 and 10 inches of snow last night. 277 schools are closed in West MI today. Check it out.

That's a whole lotta snow. My kids are going to have a blast going down the slide later. It gets super slippery when they have on snow pants.

Speaking of kids, my baby is doing a little bit better. She's been sleeping at night, most of the time, and seems to be in better spirits. She doesn't want to nurse though. She hasn't gotten her appitight (I don't know how to sp that) back yet.

I went out w/ my friend M last night. We had a great time. I've been needing to get away from my kids, and hubs. Sometimes you just need a break, you know. We went out for dinner, and had a super delicious coffee drink. mmmmm. Our usual routine when we go out is dinner, and a movie. The dinner is always good, the movie, always crap. We have a knack for picking bad movies. Last night, however, we finally saw a good one. We saw Pride and prejudice. It was cute. Its a chick flick, and some of the dialect is hard to catch, but it was good. After the movie, we had I c e c r e a M. Perfect night out. I feel so refreshed today. I told M last night, that I'd prly be spending most of today cleaning up the damage done to my house when we were out. When I go out, hubs and kids have a party, and trash the place. But I was so glad to be out, I didn't care. When I got home last night, the house was clean! Like cleaner than I left it. My hubs is the sexiest bitch alive. I love that man.

We have a lot going on this weekend! Poker tonight. A memorial service for Chicken's papa :(, a bday party, another poker game, my kids Christmas pageant at church, a Christmas party, and tickets to see the Trans Siberian Orchestra. I have NO idea how we are going to pull that off, but should make for some interesting blogging on Monday. Have a great weekend blogland :)

Holy Croup Batman!

Sure enough, tis croup. The doc gave her a shot of steroids to reduce the swelling in her vocal chords, or wind pipe, whatever it is that swells up w/ croup. I was somewhat surprised that she really does have it. After hearing her cough this morning, I was really starting to doubt that she had it. The doc said that croup really only bothers them when they are laying down. So after they get up from bed, they can seem fine, until they lay down again. I'm glad I went. She'll be really contagious for the next 3 days. Not for older kids, but mostly just to other babies. I hope it doesn't turn into a serious condition and passes quickly.

I was talking about the baby to my fried Talula, about maybe it being croup, and my guilt about weaning. Anyway, she kept telling me that I was overly paranoid. Which I am, but the way she said it sounded more like she was insulting me. Kind of like the same tone as "you're a bitch, a stupid one" but really flat- bothered me. And you can't exactly say to one of your girlfriends "don't use that TONE w/ me" lol. I love her to pieces, but sometimes I wonder what her motivation is when she says certain things to me. Like, is she trying to rile me up here, insult me, or support me. Hard to tell some days. Weird. Ever have that?

Now what?

The baby didn't sleep too good last night. She woke up a few different times during the night, and was up for the day at 530am. But now, her cough sounds less like a bark, and more like a just a wet cough. Do I still take her to the doc? I'm glad she's doing better, and I don't really want to take her in to hear the standard "She'll be fine. Nothing we can do. Just let it run its course." Bah. But if I don't take her, and it gets worse tonight.... Prly better just to go. Her appt is at 11:15 today. I'll update after her appt.

Poor baby

Its midnight. I was planning on being in bed and asleep 2 hours ago. My baby is sick! She's had a stuffy nose here and there, but now, I think she has kroop, or croop? The cough that sounds like a barking seal. Crap. Its so sad. She is so tired, but when she coughs, it must hurt or something, and she cries, wakes up. I called the after hours Dr. to see what I can do. I will NOT go to the ER, unless she's really bad, and thankfully, they didn't tell me to. Phew. They said to give her cough medicine, steam up the bathroom and sit there w/ her for 20 min, and put a vaporizor in her room. They said I could try warm apple juice too. I guess that's suppose to help loosen up the mucus in her chest. They gave me all the warning signs, and told me I should bunk w/ her for a few nights to keep an ear on her breathing. Her breathing isn't bad. You can hear a little something, but nothing terrible. I'm nervous! I don't think I'll be doing much sleeping tonight. Paranoid as I am and all. I should have the hang of this, 3 kids deep. But no, still terrified the instant one of my babies are sick :(

I'm feeling bad. I'm down to nursing only 3 times a day, and NOW my baby comes up sick. Coincidence? I don't think so. Makes me feel like crap. I let her down. I started slacking off on taking care of myself which led me to the conclusion it would be best if I started to wean her. Why didn't I just pick up the slack, and take better care of myself for her? Because I'm rotten. Bad mom. Makes me cry. So now I want to nurse more. I need to go pick up some fenugreek, and try to increase my milk supply, which is a total pain in the ass. Once it goes down, at least for me, its so HARD to get it back to full power. I'm going to bring her in to the doc tomorrow. Maybe he will have some suggestions for me. Pray for my baby, and my other kids, so they don't pick it up!

The weekend was nice. I didn't win in the main poker game, but I did win a side game. I stayed up WAY too late. I was so very tired Saturday. I did end up having to rush around, which sucked, but I pulled it off. The shower came together nicely. Hubs was pooped too. We put a movie in after the kids went to bed, and passed out on the couch. Last night was our bowling night. I'm still not a good bowler, but I feel like I've kind of figured something out. Now I just need to make it better.

I've discovered that if I get up an hour and a half early each morning, and don't sit all day long, I can almost stay on top of things around here. I'm going to try it for a few days. I'm so sick of having mess everywhere. I lost it Saturday night w/ my kids. My house was clean, I had been busting my ass all day to keep it that way. Ave was munching on some crackers, and managed to spread them all over the kitchen/dining room. No problem. Pick it up. Then she and Max did some craft project w/ Styrofoam. Again, all over. Still no problem, pick it up. Then my naughty girl shredded up paper EVERYWHERE. Damn! Starting to get irritated, but whatever, clean it up. Then my daughter laid some crayons on the table, and cut them up into tiny tiny pieces w/ a plastic knife. Then there were crayon shreds, and crayon ALL OVER my table and counters. CURSE AND SWEAR! I was pissed. All of this happened in less than an hour. 4-fucking times, in a row! Grr! I lost my temper, yelled, cried. It is so frustrating to try and keep on top of my 3 kids, housework, laundry, cooking, and hubs. Hubs was home Saturday night, but he doesn't pay attention to that sort of thing. If I ask him to take care of something, he will, but he's not the kind of guy to see a mess and think to pick it up. And I refuse to not let my kids be kids. I could follow them around w/ a trash can and a whip, but no. I'm not that kind of mom. They are told to pick up after themselves, but they're little still, so I don't expect perfection. They get the bigger pieces, and can put things back to where they belong. But they're cyclones. They pull out something, start to play with it, the other one gets bored pulls out something else, then they come w/ an idea to play something together, but a different game/item in a completely different room within minutes. Its exhausting. And on top of being exhausting. I don't flippn feel like it. Even when I don't feel like it, clutter drives me nuts. I will eventually find a happy medium, I hope :)

P.S. HELLO LURKER... WHO ARE YOU? YOU DO A GOOGLE SEARCH FOR MY BLOG TWICE A WEEK OR SO AND NEVER COMMENT. WHO ARE YOU AND WHY ARE YOU LOOKING FOR ME????????

Its Friday already! It's been a quick week. Went to hubs work Christmas party last night, it was nice. The food was awesome. Hubs got a bonus (cha-ching), and I got a 25$ gift card to the mall. Its so nice that his company does that for the wives, every year. He works for a good company.

I've got millions of things to do, and not much time to do them! Or I should say I don't want to make time for them. It would be nice if things would take care of themselves. A magic lamp would come handy :) I have a whole house to clean, laundry and grocery shopping to accomplish today. I have to bake a cake too. We play poker on Friday nights, so there's that. I'm having a baby shower at my house tomorrow for my friend. I want to make sure I get as much done for tomorrow as I can today. There's nothing I despise more than rushing around in the morning. Seems like I have something to do tomorrow night... but I can't remember. And Sunday is our bowling league.

It's begun. I love the holidays, but I start to get frazzled this time of year. Lots of things to do, gifts to buy, parties to go to. I need to put up the Christmas tree, and decorations, and get our the 50 or so Christmas cards we send out. I always think that the next holiday season will not be so busy. But indeed, it always is. I would rather be snuggling w/ hubs and the kids. Some year, I'm going to do it. I'm going disconnect the phone from Dec 1 thru Jan 2 :) Wouldn't that be great?? No million phone calls, no million errands, or 4 doz Christmas cookies... I can dream. I'd prly hate it after a week though. As much as the busy bothers me, I love seeing our friends and family. I love cooking. Christmas is my most favorite day of the year. But there really is a lot of hullabaloo. Maybe I can carve out a few days here and there to play w/ my family and ignore the world :) I think I will. Enjoy the weekend!

It's not as bad as I thought.

I had my daughter evaluated today by my friend, who is an OT. That's what she(OT) does all day. She works w/ kids w/ emotional/behavioral problem, add, adhd, downsyndrom, autism, and many other disabilities. B/C of my daughters temper issues as of late, I've been concerned. Not only concerned, but I've felt like I've been doing something wrong, or failing my little girl. I always thought that bad parenting = rotten kids. I've been finding out that isn't always true, at all. OT had some GREAT ideas for me. One of them is the 'first and then' thing. She said to start using it in play, like "first we are going to climb the ladder, so THEN we can jump into pillows!" so then next time I'm having Ave is having a fit about cleaning her room, or a time out I can say "I know you don't want to, what would you like to do" generally followed by an answer from Ave. When Ave gives me an answer I can say "that sounds great, lets do that, but FIRST finish this task so we can THEN do the other thing" She said that its sounds too simple and even silly, but it does great things to help little guys process things, and redirect negative emotions. I was telling OT about having a hard time getting ave to stay in time out. Her suggestion for that was to use Stop, Think, and Act. When Ave comes out of her time out too soon, to make her stop, ask her what she's suppose to be doing, and then redirect her. Ot said a big thing is getting them to come up w/ explanations for their emotions. Ave can tell me what she's feeling, but I've never thought to ask her why she feels that way. Ot also said that I should try to not let any of the things Ave says when she pissed to bother me, but to say instead "I don't think you really think mommy's ugly, I think that you're angry that you have to do this whatever" so she starts thinking about why she feels a certain way. OT doesn't believe anything is wrong w/ my daughter, other than she's a defiant child, and is not able to express why she's upset, and when we start working on those things, that it will start to get better. She gave me 2 books to read to help me out w/ this. One is called 'The challenging child' and I think the other is 'Emotional Milestones'. The are both by the same author. If anyone is interested in reading them, email me and I will send you all of the information. I feel better now, I've really been on edge about the whole thing. I just want to make sure that I'm doing the best job I possibly can for my kids, but doesn't everyone? You would think after 3 kids, I would have an idea of what to do, but they are all so different. This paragraph is so scattered, and all over the place. Sorry, hope its readable.

Have I mentioned that I like to read romance novels? Some are super cheese, but I like them. I've been on a kick this week. In these books, whenever there is a love scene, one of the lovers never fails to call out the the name of the other in the heat of passion. I don't do that. I don't believe I have ever done that. Seems to dramatic or something, or obvious. Do you do that? Something else irritating about these books.. I was reading about a prince, and whenever he was addressed in the book, he was addressed as "his Royal Highness". Doesn't that seem too feminine? But I suppose "His Royal Hinor" would sound too much like "his royal ass"...

About me

I was trying to come up w/ a list of 100 things about me, and I only got to 24.. I'm going to give you what I have, and maybe extend the list at another time. I'm lame :)

1. I'm married, happily, for the last 6 years
2. I have 3 kids. Max is 5 ½, Avery is almost 4, and Jade is 7 months.
3. I'm a stay home mom.
4. I'm loyal
5. I can't lie, which I must say, at times, sucks. I've always been a terrible liar. I just can't do it. Even in my teen years, I think I only lied to my mom twice, but then felt so guilty, I fessed up.
6. I LOVE music, of all kids. Some of my favorites- Patsy Cline, Janis Joplin, Ella Fitzgareld, Pearl Jam, The Doors, Hank Williams Jr, Aerosmith
7. I once met Aerosmith, I chased them all over town, until I finally met up with them. Steven Tyler kissed me, and even made up a song about me on the spot. One of my many highlights.
8. I met Tori Amos once too. But that wasn't planned. Me, Chicken and another friend were bored on a Friday night. We decided to get all dressed up, and drive to Chicago (3 hours from here), with no money I might add. We were having a great time on Michigan Avenue, watching street performers, and she was just standing there, right next to us. She invited us to her show the following week and U of M, which we went to, again without money, or tickets. She was kind enough to hook us up. It was a good show. Oh, and on the way home from Chicago, we didn't have money for the toll roads. Ha! They had to write us little tickets to mail in. Fun Fun.
9. I love to sing. I'm bad at it, but I love it. And not just sing, but LOUDLY sing.
10. I love to dance, again, I'm not good at it.
11. I can cook, that I'm pretty good at
12. I got my very first dirt bike at 8. Not a fan of street bikes, but I can tear it up on a dirt bike.
13. I love dogs, and desperately want one. My hubs however, doesn't share the same desire.
14. my very best friend, Chickenis dating my brother. Kind of weird at first, but I'm all about it now!
15. I'm close to my family. Mama's girl all the way.
16. I'm a Christian
17. I have 2 tattoos. A sun on my shoulder, and a dragonfly on my back.
18. I used to have questionable piercings, 3 of them.
19. I used to drink a lot. I think I was on the alcoholic edge.
20. I grew up in a broken home w/ alcoholic parents, and then a abusive, drug addicted step-dad.
21. I have 3 dads, and 4 siblings, that includes step of course.
22. I used to be a pot head. It was my favorite pass time.
23. Besides my hubs, I only really had a few real boyfriends. There were other guys, but not really any that I had a real relationship with. And by relationship, I mean that we were together for awhile, longer than a few months, and were involved w/ each others family and friends.
24. I love to read. Anything. I think I've read 50-60 books this year.

She ate soap

I've been blogging a lot recently about my troubles w/ my daughter. And they continue. I'm at a loss. I don't know what else to do about her. I threw all her toys away last week, so there is nothing left for me to take away. And she still doesn't care that they're gone. It didn't bother her that I packed up every toy she owned and threw them out. Time outs bother her a little, but not enough to change her behavior. Spanking don't work, they just make her more angry... Last night, she had to pick up her room. She changes her clothes 20 times a day, so they were everywhere. I don't expect much, just for her to put them in a pile. She was having a FIT. Yelling, crying, stomping her feet, spitting. She kept coming out of her room to holler. I kept my cool. I told her to stay in there till she picked up her things, and that's it, no more talking, bottom line. So she gets really angry, and yells "NOOOOOOOO, I DON'T WANT TO! YOU ARE AN UGLY MOM!" Where in the hell does she get this stuff? That put me over the edge. I scooped her up, plopped her on the counter, and made her swish dish soap. Man she was out of control. Screaming, spitting, crying. After her swish, I put her in her room, on her bed, forced her to look at me and told her that she may NOT talk to me like that. She said "that soap made my nose hurt funny!" and I said "Good, maybe you'll think about that before the next time you say something filthy!!!" So I left her in her room. She was really yelling in there. She was so worked up she peed her pants and her bed. She came out crying to tell me. I sent her back w/o caring, for another 5 minutes till her time out was over. When her time out was finished, I got her in the tub and threw her bedding and clothes in the wash. I just don't know.. I don't believe I'm too hard on her, but I don't let her get away w/ shit either. Where am I going wrong? I don't understand why she is the way she is. I cried last night. About her, about me, about feeling as though I'm failing as a mother. She's rotten. I love her, but I don't like her at all right now. That makes me feel terrible. I just don't know... Something has to give, and let's hope its not my sanity.
I was trying to explain to hubs last night how I've been feeling. Its somewhere along the lines of "small, inadequate, ineffective, and unimportant." I started thinking about my family. The responsibility is weighing heavy on me. On one hand its nice to be needed, but on the other, damn. Can I get a minute? I'm so involved w/ my kids, and my hubs, and spending every waking minute taking care of them, that I've lost myself. Separate from my family, who is Misty? I don't know anymore. I suppose that's the way it's suppose to be, but can't I be just a tiny bit selfish? I'm sure the answer to that is no.
When I was younger, I had all sorts of big dreams. I wanted to be in the FBI, and to be a journalist for the New York Times. lol. I wonder who I would be, if I were not mom and wife. I'm sure I wouldn't be doing either of those 2 things. I don't want to make it seem like I'm not thankful for my hubs, or my kids, b/c I am. I'm just feeling sorry for myself. Is it possible to be a mom, a wife, and keep some of yourself around? Doesn't seem like it. I generally don't mind the responsibility of my family, but when things get hard like this, really hard, I want to run away. I don't want the pressure of making good decisions so they'll turn out to be good decent citizens. I don't want to discipline them. I want to play with them and let them do what makes them happy. I don't want to think about the laundry, or what to make for supper. I thought about getting a job, a full time job. But that's no good either. I don't want someone else to raise them, but at the moment, I don't want to either.

Random

The weather here is crazy. It snowed non-stop for a few days. It was so cold on Thursday and Friday, that it hurt to inhale outside. Then yesterday, it warmed up again, and everything melted. It's in the 50's today, and raining. What? I don't get it. Pick a season. Flippn' Michigan.

I went shopping Friday morning. It was my first time for black Friday. I left my house w/ a friend at 4:30 am. The first stop wasn't bad, but the second, was madness! People were pushing, crowding, and cussing each other out. I stood in the check out line for an hour and 45 minutes. I didn't mind though. I made some new friends, sang some songs, and played a few games, all w/ the other strangers in line. Not too bad :) Did you hear about the Wal-Mart stampede, right here in MI at our local store? Crazy bitches. Glad I didn't go there. Sales make old hags go banana's. I don't know that I will be going next year. I'm going to finish up all my shopping online now. Oh, except for one trip to an outlet mall w/ friends.

Hubs took off Saturday to go deer hunting. I was bored out of my mind. I played UNO, Connect Four, and did umpteen million puzzles w/ the kids to try and pass the time. It didn't work. All of the friends that I would have liked to hung out w/ were gone, or ditched me. I was feeling a bit detached, and lonely. The house was so empty. Thankfully, my kids were well behaved, and they got a kick out of all the games we played that day. I was so excited when hubs finally got home- although he left me again shortly there after, and I spent another evening alone. I didn't mind as much though, because I knew hubs would be home to crawl into bed w/ me. I don't know why I was so needy on Saturday, I'm generally not. At all. The worst part of being needy that day was that none of my friends that I so adore, were there for me. It's not often where I feel like I need to lean on someone. I'm pretty self sufficient. But the one time I do feel like needing to lean, there was no one there for me. I'm still feeling a little detached. Like I don't want to call any of my friends today, kind of like- if they are interested in chatting, I'll let them call me. It's dumb I know. I'll get over it.

I get to clean another house this week! Its about time, I need the money. This house won't be near as gross as the last one, and I'll be getting paid better. Woohoo. Other good news for the week, hubs and I get to go out twice this week. Yep, twice! We are going out to dinner w/ my in laws tonight, and Thursday is his work Christmas party. I can't believe its already that time of year again. Every weekend from now till Christmas, we have something going on. The holidays are going to fly right by us. I love Christmas. Its my favorite time of the year. My little girl will turn 4 in a few weeks as well. 4?! Man. I better get on that shopping! Good day!

Let it Snow, Let it Snow, Let it snow...

Its coming. Snow up to our ears. They (the blasted weather men) are predicting 6-12 inches for parts of MI tomarrow, w/ gusts of wind up to 50 mph. It started snowing early this morning, and hasn't really quit- and won't. It's kind of not quite snow- more like rain at the moment, and that will make the roads fantastic for traveling tomarrow. Thankfully, we don't have far to go. We'll shall see if mr. weatherman gets it right.
The baby is still refusing a bottle. That's ok though. I can stick it out, i can hang :) I think my milk supply is coming back up now too. I was a little concerned, but seems alright now, or at least getting there.
My 2 older kids are both spending the night at different grandparents house's. WOOOOHOOOO! That's the best. Both of them haven't been gone over night at the same time in at least a year. I'm excited! I'm going to get some cooking done for tomarrow, some more never-ending-laundry, and some housework, play some cards, and spend some "quality time" w/ my hubs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It's going to be a great night!

My naughty girl has been getting better. She refused to dance at her dance class yesterday, which was a first, so I let it go. I had things to do anyway. But the rest of the day, she was good. And this morning went smoothly as well. Yay! I hope she keeps it up. I've been giving her lots of praise for being good, I hope it lasts for a while.
My baby's 2nd tooth broke through. In the last week, I've been giving her a few bottles a day, so my milk supply has gone done, which was my intention. From Sunday night through all night last night, she absolutely refused a bottle. Anytime I would try to give her one, she would fuss, and push it away w/ both hands. I nursed her every 2 hours all sunday night, and all day yesterday. I felt awful. Here she was so hungry, and I only had so much to give her. I think I started something... For some reason, on Sunday night, I was just feeling clingy to her, like I HAD to be close to her. I let her sleep w/ me, and that's something that I never do. She was cuddled up close to my chest, and she kept waking up, wanting to nurse. I think it was b/c she could smell me. I'm not sure where my clingy feeling came from. Guilt? Hormones? I don't know. But it was sweet. I woke up to her making her hungry noise, and her hands trying to get at my breast. So I fed her, whenever she wanted, all night long. Oops. I'm guessing that had something to do w/ her refusing a bottle all day long. Then last night, b/c she wasn't well fed, she kept waking up. I let her go for a while, hoping she would fall back asleep on her own, but she didn't. Finally at 4 am, while she was at the breast, I slipped a bottle to her, and she took it. Phew. I did that again this morning, knowing my milk was low, and it worked. Now I don't know what I should do again. I think I'm going to pick up some fenugreek and try to increase my supply, and perhaps just stick w/ breastfeeding. We'll see.
Today is laundry day. I'm letting the rest of my house go to hell, and I'm just going to concentrate on laundry. I can't remember when I was so behind. I always have a few loads waiting, but right now, I think I have like 15 or something. I'm going to keep track of how many I do.
I have to get some groceries for Thanksgiving today too. We are getting together w/ hubs side of the family- should be fun. This was the most boring post ever. But whaever- the burden has been lifted. Happy day all.