It's been an interesting week around here. Friday night I went to a spa party deal w/ my friend Carmen. My feet are super soft now. Yay! After the spa, we played Bunko for the first time. Have you ever heard of Bunko? Its a silly mindless dice game, that seems to be a stay at home mom thing to play. I wasn't sure if I'd like it or not, but it was fun! I did indeed enjoy myself. As did Carmen, she won! Loser :) We didn't get done playing Bunko till nearly 11, and became inspired to go pick up our other friend, hootie, and go get a beer. We went to our normal place, bummed into some friends, good times all around. There is a guy that we've been talking to for a while now, and somehow, we started talking about bowling- being that its one of my great loves these days. He is also a bowler, not only that, but he owns the bowling alley across from our watering whole. He said anytime I wanted to practice, or get some tips, to come on over. By this time, its at least 130am. I thought that bowling right then, would be perfect. We went bowling! At 2 am! woohoo! Thankfully, my ball was in my car, grabbed it and wandered over w/ 6 friends. The midnight game was just finshing up when we came in. Geesh, that guy looks familiar. HOLY CRAP! It's my buddy Dillion!! I haven't seen him in 2 years or more. Yay! He's just moved back home from CO. We were friends in high school, but not great friends until after we graduated. Loser didn't come to the reunion. We used to hang out all the time. Daily, up until I started dating hubs. You know what's funny, here's how little I paid attention in high school. I was Dillion's house one night, checking out his room. There was a team picture of our football team. I was like 'oh, I didn't know you played football.' The very next picture plaque on his wall says 'Dillion capt of the football team' blah blah years something or other. Ha!! How funny! Shows what I know. te he he. Anyhow, it was GREAT to see him. What are the odds of that? Bowling at 2 am and running into your long lost friend. Psssssshhha. I didn't think to call hubby when we decided to go bowling, I just figured he was sleeping or something. Oops. My phone rang at 315- he wanted to know what I was doing. 'uh, funny story babe, i'm uh, you know, bowling.' hehehe. He wasn't upset. I was super tired when I got home, and of course, no sleeping in for me. That'll teach me to bowl all damn night.
I'm a bit sad this week. I've started the process of potty-training Jade. I don't want to do it. I don't mind diapers, and its the last little bit of baby in her. She's ready. She no longer wants to keep her diaper on. As soon as she wets, she takes it off. Her choice, not mine. boooo. Ave was the same way, and actually a month younger when we started training (18 months). She was done by 21 months or something like that. It's been awhile. I can't remember what I'm suppose to do. We pulled out the little potty, bought training pants and m&m's. For now, I'm sitting her on the potty every hour and a 1/2 or so, and give her an m&m to keep her there. She wearing little panties and training pants. She looks so cute in little elmo panties :) She went pee pee on the potty yesterday, only a little bit though, like she did it on accident. I still made a big woohoooo to do about it. That was the only time though. I don't know if it'll happen or not. I'm not in a hurry, and just watching her for clues. How do you get them to relize the sensation before it happens, and give them the words to let you know? She doesn't say wet, or poo poo yet, but she for sure knows when she goes. I'm going to let her watch me and avery for the next few days, and see what happens. I'm just so sad about it. She is my very last baby. I don't want her to grow up yet. Its been too fast, too quick. I don't feel like I've enjoyed it as much, or taken as much time to savor it as I should have. So very sad. I'm crying about it now. I miss nursing, and bottles, those things have been gone for a long time now, only this little last thing remains. I feel like once she's out of diapers, she on her way to being a big kid, an all out toddler. No more my little baby. In the last 3 weeks, she's gotten out of the house, out of the crib, and now she wants out of her diapers. I'm not ready! Wait for me baby, take your time a little bit. My heart is just breaking over this. I know it prly sounds silly. I can't help it though. There are exciting things in store for our family, things we wouldn't be able to do before, or more freedom. I have such a raging need to keep this baby stage going, or have another. I LOVE being a mommy, I love to nurture them, teach them things, see them learn, nurse them, rock them..... Many of those things continue, but its just something about babies. It would not be in the best intrest for me, or my family to have another, and I won't, but it hurts. Deep inside, it hurts. Knowing I have the ability to make life, give life, and giving it up freely is painful for me. I'm so young still. I could have babies for another 15 years if I wanted. I know that I will not have more. Financially, space, time- those things are important, and we're kind of maxed out in those areas. But that urge, that overwhelming need, is hard to get rid of, or let go. I know I'll be filled w/ great joy, to see her grow, and change, and learn, become her own person, as I have w/ my other kids. I still cry on thier birthdays too. Not b/c I don't want them to age or grow, but for another year past. My baby days are ending... and I'm broken hearted about it.
