I'm Still Here

I've just been busy, as usual. I will try to post all my latest tomorrow. Hope all is well with you blogland!

Dance Dance Dance

My beautiful little girl did a fantastic job Friday night! I was so impressed! We had a good time. Her dance was quick, but it was a lot of fun to watch the other classes too. They did some really cool stuff. J didn't do well, as expected :( Hubs was able to stay until Ave's dance was done, and then he took the baby home and put her to bed. By the time we got home from the recital, it was nearly 11. I had to get Ave in the tub still, that couldn't be put off. As you can see from the pictures, her hair was more than crispy, and the make-up HAD to go. Her hair turned out great! I bought one of those little curling irons that has the spiral thing on it. Before curling it, I put gel in it, and let it dry. Then as I curled each piece I sprayed the hell out of it :) It lasted until we got home! I had to wash her hair twice to get all the gunk out! It was a late night for us. My kids are generally in bed no later than 8:30! She has informed me that she doesn't want to go to dance next year. She wants to play soccer. So does my son. I signed them up! It's much cheaper than dance, and she isn't all that graceful. Maybe soccer would be more suited to her. We'll see how it goes, and the following year she can choose what she'd rather do. I'm only going to allow them one after school activity each. I don't want to end up taking kids to a different sport/whatever each night of the week. Only one! It'll be up to them to choose what they'd like. Isn't she beautiful???? Aww. My big girl. You know, it hits me at different times that my kids are getting so big. Like last night. I was reading a book in the living room, and the house was dark and sleeping. I heard someone get up. Because they didn't call for me, I went to investigate to see who was getting into what. I found my son in the bathroom, getting a drink, in the middle of the night, all by himself. This may not sound all the amazing to you, he is 6 afterall. But that is the first time ever he has gotten up late at night, and not called for me to help him. Took care of it himself. Hot dog! Nice, very nice. But makes me feel a little weird. He doesn't lean on me as much as he used to. I've been encouraging them to solve their own problems, and help themselves more often, but when they do. Wow. Getting all grown up on their mama :)
I took the afternoon off on Saturday. I was more than ready for a break. I went shopping, for 4 1/2 hours, w/ NO kids! It was just what I needed to reset my nerves. The rest of the weekend has been uneventful. Fine w/ me, I had oodles of laundry to catch up on! I think I'm down to 5 loads now. I can't wait to get it all done. Even if it is only for a minute :)

Just a Brief Vent

I think I've mentioned that I've had other people's kids here everyday this week. I'm trying to find a baby sitter for my baby tonight, so I don't have to bring her to Ave's recital. Ya' think I could find one??? OF COURSE NOT. 3 hours, only 1 baby, no takers. Grrr. I called my mom last week, and she was asking about the time of the dance tonight, like she was clearing her schedule, and then I told her that I hadn't invited any family b/c I didn't think Avery was going to do it, and she says 'oh, ok then.' Then I asked her instead of coming, do you think you could watch J for me, and she says 'um... no, I don't think I can. I might have plans' BAH. Bull crap. So I called my gf, I've had her kids 3 times in the last 2 weeks, and on very short notice. She has nothing going on tonight, but she said' ummm.. I dunno. I'm kind of burnt out, but I'd like to help, but I don't know if it will work." Well hell. You'd think I was asking for a kidney donation. So, I'm done. I am longer willing to watch ANYBODY else's kid/s EVER again. I don't mind helping out my friends when they have something going, but not if they are not willing to return the favor. I never let anyone pay me for babysitting. All I ask is that someday the favor be returned. And it isn't, ever. Screw it, I'm busy through the end of the year.

It's Friday!

I was hoping that picture would be bigger, but ah well. That is a picture of the tulips in Holland, MI. Every year they have the tulip festival. I can't remember how many they grow, but its an outrageous number. They are very pretty. Holland is a Dutch community on the West Coast of MI, right along lake Michigan. They celebrate the tulips for a week, w/ all sorts of nonsense. It's a pretty big tourist attraction, but mainly for retired folks :)

Anyway, it's Friday! Woohoo. Ave's recital is tonight! I can't wait.

My asshole dog will NOT stop barking. Suggestions?

Other than the recital tonight, I don't have much going on, which is great. I've been busy this week! I've had extra kids at my house everyday this week. I'm ready for a break, from all kids in general. Hopefully I can do some of that this weekend! Maybe disappear for an entire afternoon w/ all the time in the world. That sounds GREAT. Time to go kill my bastard dog. Enjoy your weekend!

Hello!

I hope everyone enjoyed Mother's Day! Mine was not so fabulous :( The whole weekend was awful. Hubs and I didn't get along, and basically everything that could possibly go wrong, did. Crabby kids, crabby baby, whole in the tire, fight w/ hubs, late for everything, clean up all dinner mess from MD by myself, and fight w/ hubs some more. ICK. So I'm glad that's over. I'm looking forward to a better weekend next weekend!

Avery had her recital rehearsal last weekend on the big stage, and she so did it! I was very proud of her! I think she'll do well for the real thing this week! If I can only get her hair to do what it's suppose to for the damn thing. It's suppose to be half up, and curly. I've tried the curling iron, and hot rollers, and I can't get her hair to hold the curl. Falls right out. I tried using a bunch of product w/ it, and still won't hold. Any ideas?

I weighed in again today, and I've lost another 2 1/2 pounds since last Thursday. Moving right along, and I'm getting there! I can't wait. I hope that when I get to my goal, I'll be happy with it. I still see a big girl in the mirror, and I want to change that. Physically its changed a great deal, but I still can't see it. I want to be able to see myself as I really am, good or not so good, and be ok with that. I'm working on it!

I went out w/ some friends last night and had a blast! It was just what I needed to blow of steam from my not fun weekend. I can't remember the last time I laughed that hard. AND, some guy said I was sexy :) How 'bout that? That's a first in FOREVER, except for my hubs. That goes along way in making me feel pretty :)

I can't wait for American Idol tonight! I was so bummed they sent hottie Chris home, but now I can't figure out who it will be. Katherine has not done well the last 2 weeks, and she was one of my favorites. I really like Taylor, but he doesn't seem like the 'idol' type. Elliott?? I don't know about him either. I love his voice, and he's really been belting it out lately... I suppose that of the 3, Katherine seems the most 'idol-ish' to me, but she needs to do something fantastic tonight to make that happen. Who do you think the final 2 will be?

I'm off to clean my house and do some laundry. Tomorrow will be my crazy day w/ my gf's kids all day..... I want to get all of my stuff done so I can focus on kids tomorrow, and try not to lose my mind. I'm looking forward to watching my show, taking a HOT bath, getting my most comfortable jammies on, and getting into bed early w/ a book. MMMMMMMMMMMMM. Later to all :)

Happy Mother's Day!

Well on Sunday at least! I went to see my surgeon today. My results from the scan were normal. He said that I probably had a stone and was in process of passing it at that most uncomfortable time. I very well may have problems in the future w/ my gallbladder, but for now, no surgery for me!!! YAY! I asked him to check out the bone sticking out of my hand too. He said that all of the tendons are covered in lubricated sheaths, and my tendon poked a hole in it, which is causing fluid to leak out of my sheath and make a cyst. He said it might go away on its own, but if it starts to bother me or get bigger, I can have it removed, but no thanks. Only bugs me if I push on it, so in the wise words of Chicken "Don't push on it then, jackass!" See, that's why she my best friend. She has the most comforting medical advise :)

My dear puppy Jack is being an asshole. I don't know what to do with him at the moment. He hates to be outside by his lonesome, and when the kids are outside w/ him, he trys to play with them, and ends up hurting them. He bit my girlfriends daughter the other day, hard enough to brake the skin. He wasn't being aggressive, or mean, only trying to play, but still. Now I don't feel ok w/ letting him around the kids unless I can be on top of him. Then today, he was running through the house and trampled over the baby. I almost KILLED him. She was crying, and very upset. I don't want any of my kids to become afraid of dogs, but they aren't old enough to understand that Jack isn't trying to hurt them, and if they run away failing their arms and yelling, he just think that they want to play more. Grrrr. I don't know what to do. I hope this puppy crap passes quickly!

Speaking of my baby, GEEZ she's crabby today. Hollering about everything! All morning! I practicaly have to duct tape her to the floor to change her diaper. She gotten much more expressive about stuff she does not like. Wouldn't it be nice if kids stayed smiley and compliant all the days of their lives?! I suppose if that happened that they'd end up worthless adults w/ no spine. I guess its better to be a leader, but shooooot, not w/ mommy. M'kay kids?

I don't have any new news on my friend w/ Uterine Cancer yet, and I have yet to hear how my M-I-L's biopsy went today. I'm nervous and anxious to hear something! I hate waiting. That's the worst part.

Any fabulous plans for mother's day? I'm having my mom over for dinner. She drops comments all year long about how so and so have their mother over for MD, and how she ALWAYS had grandma over for MD, and wouldn't it be nice if one of her children had her over????? Bah. Fine. Come on over. Geez. It seems like, at least in my selfish little world, that she doesn't need much of a rest on mother's day. Yes, she should be honored, but hellooo? I have 3 small kids constantly running around messing up my house, and on the ONE day of the year where it's finally MY turn, I have to have someone over?! Damn. I don't want to. But I love my mom, and I will. It just seems crappy that I have to be running around cleaning my house, and waiting on someone all day, when its my holiday to. I know, that's totally selfish, and I'm being a brat about it, not to my mother though! My blog, my complaints, even if they are shallow. I told my mom not to bring anything at all, that I wanted her to relax and enjoy the day, which is true, I just wish I could enjoy it as well. I might get a nap in, or maybe breakfast in bed. mmmmmmmmmmm. Flowers? We'll see what the hubs and the kids have in store for me. They always come up w/ something nice.

I weighed in yesterday too. I've lost another pound and a 1/2. Getting there! Its going much more slowly now, and that's fine w/ me. I was actually brave enough to try on a swimsuit today. It was a great suit, but I'm still just not comfortable enough to buy one. Maybe I'll feel differently in 14 and 1/2 pounds. This program is working so well for me, I'm glad I started it! So close! I'm hoping to have the rest off BEFORE Chicken's wedding, which is in 6 weeks. I don't know if I can do it, but I'm going to stay really focused, and exercise more. I would really like to be at my goal by that day. It'll be nice to be all dressed up in formal clothes and NOT look like a moose :) I'm going to try my hardest to get there!

Enjoy your weekend, especially all my mommy friends!

I was going to chat about some nonsense, but now I'm bummed. I just got an email from my dear friend. She's been having some problems w/ her period and what not. She had an ultrasound done, and they found 3 tumors, one of which is really big. They think that its cancer. :( She has surgery in a few weeks to remove the tumors and to see if it has spread anywhere else. Dammit. What is going on w/ this whole cancer business?! Seems like cancer is going to cash us all out. There have been many people in my circle or in friend's circles, that have passed away from cancer recently. Has it always been like that? Or is it that I'm getting older, and shit happens when you get older? Maybe it has always been that way, but b/c I was younger, it didn't affect those I knew, or I at least didn't hear about it. She's young, 2 kids, and going through a divorce right now. She doesn't need this. She has to be the sweetest person I know, she's just great, all the time. I've never seen her pissed, never heard her complain. This just sucks. I hope its not cancer. Can you just have tumors, and not cancer filled tumors? My M-I-L had a double masectomy last April, and has been cancer free since- but they just found a lump in her armpit, and have to biopsy it. The Dr. thinks that it is just a puffy nerve ending, but b/c of her history, they have to go in and check it out. What is all this cancer nonsense? Makes me sad.
Other than being sad, the last few days have been great. Kids have been well behaved, and J started saying a few more words. She's brilliant! She sings "A B C D" all on her own! Genius. I am so LOVING this stage. I like them all, but I am really liking this age. I think she took a step today too. Flying by.
We bought a quad today. The kids are really excited about it. I'm a dirt bike girl myself, but the quad is pretty cool. I'm looking forward to tearing up some trails very soon.
My scan on Friday was way less traumatic than I thought it would be. I laid on a table under a machine for an hour and a half. The machine was nearly sitting on my chest, and I had to hold still, but it wasn't bad. I'm glad my girlfriend came w/ me to keep me company, or I would have passed out from lack of anything interesting to stimulate me. Because of the position of the thing, I couldn't read, or lift up my head, my arms had to stay at my side, and who can sleep w/ all that going on? So M kept me company, it was nice to chat uninterrupted by either or our kids.
So, this was boring. Maybe I can come up w/ an interesting story tomorrow. Should be able to. I am watching my friends kids ALL DAY tomorrow. Her kids are 6 weeks, and 3. So I will have 5 kids 6 and under from 7am to 4pm. I'm sure something entertaining will happen w/ that troop running around. I'll end up laughing all day, or bald by the end of it from ripping out my hair. I'll let you know how it goes. Good night to all.

TANGENT

Please be forewarned, I'm irritated, and feel an overwhelming need to bitch. This post could very well be offensive to some, so if you are sensitive to religious or sexual orientation, you may want to skip this one.

I was reading our local paper this evening. There is an article on the front page about some local soldiers who've died, and these asshole protestors that will be at their funeral. WHY would protestors be going to a funeral, you may wonder? Because these particular brave men, who died fighting for us, were gay. These jerks are going to go to preach brimstone and hell fire to those that loved them, and will miss them. They are going to go in God's name to let the world know that these men are now burning in hell. Excuse me Mr. AssFace, but who in hell do you think you are? WHOM do you think you will be helping by doing such a nasty thing?! I am a Christian, and people like YOU give the rest of us a bad name. This burns my ass. Makes me angry. Yes, I am aware of what the bible states about sins, but are YOU aware of what it speaks of on LOVE? How about JUDGMENT? How about "who will throw the first stone?!" My thought process on sharing Jesus' teaching, is by showing LOVE, and being a servant. Not whatever it is that you think you are doing by being assholes. This just gets me hot. All worked up. I hate seeing nastiness in progress, and feeling like I can do nothing about it. Which I can't. I have friends and loved ones that are gay, and so what? I also have friends that lie, have been in prison for different reasons, cheated, stolen, pre-marital sex, myself included in those lists. WHERE are MY protestors? Hmmm? What? I don't get a camp of jackass' standing on my front porch yelling out to my neighbors that I've lied, cheated, stolen, used drugs, been a drunk, lashed out in anger, or that I was pregnant when I got married?! Well why in the hell not? Perhaps because they too have done those things. I don't get it guys. I'm not perfect, nor is anyone else here. Isn't that why we believe the way we do? Isn't that why Jesus died, so that all the things we've done in this life that are not on his preferred members list, could still get in? I don't understand why they feel the need to do this, and why it has to be at their funerals. Funerals are tough enough as it is. Could you imagine if someone you loved passed away, and there was some guy in the front yard yelling about his credit report? Disgusting. I hope these folks catch a clue. That will conclude my tangent for tonight, I apologize for offending anyone.

It's Thursday. Not a very exciting day. I have a case of the blahs today. My front yard is covered with tupperware that's filled w/ mud. Kiddies made mud pies w/ 1/2 of the tupperware I own, and daddy didn't mind. So there it sits, waiting for someone (ME) to clean it up. And guess what. I don't want to. Not even the slightest little bit. It's irritating to look at, but I figure b/c daddy said it was ok, he should clean up after them. Right? In my perfect world, that's what would happen, but in reality, it'll be me. I was driving my son to get a haircut this morning, and something stunk. I made some comment about it, and he goes "oh, that's Avery's fruit" WHAT? What fruit?! "The fruit cup she turned upside down into the cup holder last week". Oh hell. Gross. Gag. I have to clean that up also. My insulated coffee cup fell from the roof of my car (I was still parked, just helping a kid get in) landed on my shoulder, splashed all over the inside of my car, then fell to the ground and broke. So there's that too. It just isn't my day. I want to go get in bed, pull the blankets over my head and cry. That's what kind of day it is. And when I get irritated by small things, dirty things in particular, I start studying every aspect of my house, and get more and more pissed as I spot new nastiness that is all left for me, MOM to clean up. I wish I had the stamina to just not care, and not do it. But I can't stand it, it makes me twitch. I have to work tonight, and when I get home, heaven knows what sort of hella mess I'll walk into to. Can't things just stay clean? Max's friend from school, and his mom are coming over for coffee tomorrow. I can't have a messy house! I spent 8 hours cleaning last Saturday, all damn day, plus the yard, and for what? It just gets messy again. I can't keep up with it, and I'm sick to death of trying. But, here I go again. Trying not to cry about it, and just fix it. BLAH BOO HISS.
But, I weighed in today, so some good news. Another pound for a total of 24 (27 if you count what i did on my own before L.A) and a total of 14 inches lost. That's great. I'm 16 pounds away now... Almost there... And just to think that 8 weeks ago, I was 40 pounds from it, which seemed completely impossible. Only 16 more. I'm going to make it! I can't believe that I'm actually going to make it to my goal. I still can only tell by my clothes. I still see the same sized me in the mirror. I think I need to take some pictures and compare them. I could always tell how big I was by a picture, b/c in pictures, I look H U G E. I've moved down in size from a 14 to an 8. The eight is a bit tight, but 10's are too big. When I reach my goal, I hope to be a comfortable 8, or even maybe a 6. Even though my weight is down, I still have a funny shape.I haven't been at this weight since at least 11th grade, but my shape is SO much different. From all those babies :) I'm not bitching about that, I just think it's interesting.
The next few days are going to be really busy! Tomorrow is that stupid scan thing (yuck), after the scan, hair appt! YES! I've had ghetto hair for far too long now, and am really looking forward to having pretty hair! Going out for a girls night after that! Saturday morning I'm going to go wedding dress shopping w/ Chicken! I hope we find something that she likes, that we can have ready for her wedding which is only like 7 1/2 weeks away! From there its off to the mother/daughter banquet w/ Chicken, my mom, grandma, aunt, cousin, and my girls. This is something that my grandma's church has done all of my life, and I so don't want to go! But it would brake grandma's heart for me to miss it, so f I n e. I can only stay there for just over an hour before I have to pack up the girls, drop the baby off at home, and bring ave to her recital rehearsal in the place where it will be held. This will be her first time getting on to the big stage, and I'm curious how she'll do. I would love to see her do her recital, but I just don't think she will. Saturday's practice should give me a good idea. Seems like there is more going on, but I can't think of it at the moment. It will be hectic anyway. I must be off now. The nasty yard/car/house is waiting for me. A good weekend to all!

Health and Weight Update

Not much time kids :) My son has his first ever program at school tonight!! I can't wait!
I went to see the surgeon today. His office totally creeped me out, but he himself seemed nice. He said that it sounds like my gallbladder, but the ultrasound the hospital did wasn't as clear as he would like it to be. He said that he could go ahead and take my gallbladder now, but w/o knowing for sure, I could show up in a few months totally pissed b/c I was having the same problem. To find out for sure, he wants me to have a HIDA scan done. I'm not exactly sure if that's similar to an ultrasound, or if they put me in a tube. I have to go in on Friday, and they'll inject some stuff thru an IV that will light up my gallbladder and liver, and all of the ducts in there. They should be able to see what's happening in there. If I have a stone, which is what it looked like from the fuzzy pictures, then I have no choice but to remove it. If its not a stone, it could be that I just had an attack. From there we could decide to do more testing to figure out exactly what it was, or wait to see if it happens again, blah blah blah. I'm freaked out by this whole scan process! Eek! I'm not a fan of needles, at all. I cry when I have to get blood drawn. Not b/c it hurts, just b/c I have a phobia that I've had all my life. And IV's are the devil for me! I HATE THEM. And I generally get some asshole nurse who totally mutilates me within minutes. I'm going to go and have the stinking thing done, but I'm not happy about it. I don't want to. At all. Ever. And now, what if it isn't a stone? What if its something else? And do I really want to know what that is? That's the illogical side of my brain that lives on paranoia, but geez. Can you feel me? Yikes. Thanks everyone for your comments, and sharing your experience w/ me. That really helps, and made me feel better. Have any of you had this HIDA scan thing before? If so, please tell me if its a tube thing, and if it hurts. I would rather know. Doctor said that it might hurt, it could cause my gallbladder to spasm. But then he followed it w/ or it might not. Do you think doc's have to take a course of being fabulously vague? I bet they do. Crafty guys.
And I weighed in today. I lost another 3 pounds. Grand total for those in my cheering section- 23! I asked the doc if he thought that is what brought it on, he said sure, that happens often, and good job on the weight loss. Hmmm. So ok. Maybe that's what did it, but I guess it isn't a bad thing, b/c he didn't say anything else about it. We shall see what Friday brings. Of course I won't get results until the following Friday, but at least the hard part will be over! Have a good night!