in hopes of riding my insomina...

I was so excited to go to bed last night. All the babes were tucked in, the house was quiet, and it was only 930! Perfect! I could get some much needed rest, or NOT. BOO! Couldn't sleep a wink! I was awake until 5-effing am! BLEH. So, in trying to avoid such nonsense from occuring again, I'm going to word puke. Hopefully my brain will spew out all that's in it, so I can rest, peacefully!

Lots of stuff going on this week. The loan came through for us, so we can buy my dad's house! YAY! When my parents were married, and I was young, they bought a cottage/cabin. An hour north of home, small place, no indoor plumbing, on a few acres. We spent all of our weekends there, and most of our summers. When my parents divorced, my dad decided that he was going to LIVE there, and let my mom keep our house. He never left. He put in plumbing, bathroom, re-did the inside w/ weathered barn wood. I have soooo many good memories from there. Not only of when we were still a family, but one on one time w/ my pops. I'm thrilled that we are going to keep it! At first, I was worried that I wouldn't be able to be there. That it would bring me more sadness than anything, with him gone. Hubs and I went to visit the week after dad died. It made me happy. I felt safe, warm, secure, and loved. I knew then that it would be great, that it would be, could be well. We are spending our first night up there tomorrow w/ our kids. I'm ecstatic, but a little nervous too. I haven't slept there in years, and never w/o my dad. I hope I still feel all of those warm fuzzies as I lie in bed there....

I had a falling out w/ a gf this week. Psht. Gay. She got WAY more out of a text that I had sent to her, than was really there. She didn't ask me about it - in fact she just plain wouldn't speak to me. She sent me an email saying she's done w/ me. Super, knock yourself out lady. I was there for you, and didn't do as you requested not only b/c I wasn't comfortable w/ it, but b/c I was worried about your name being dragged in the mud- I didn't want to do that, and wouldn't. But did you ask why? Did you answer my call so I could explain?? Nope. You just decided that you knew all about what was in my heart, why I chose as I did, what my thoughts were. I'm just not gonna do it. I'm not going to go out of my way to explain myself, or defend myself when you have already decided who I am. Are you wrong, hell yes! Am I going to fix it, and let you see how much of an ass you are?? Hell no. If you're always going to think the worst of me, you don't deserve me. It hurts a little. Not like it did the first time this sort of thing happened- that nearly ripped me in half, but this- not so bad. I understand now. Mistrust, anger, and bitterness rule for you. Of all the things I could feel in this case, I feel more pity than anything for you. Good luck babe. Those things you harbor, only hurt you.

Other than that crap- good news!! My penut can swim!! I was bursting w/ pride today when she asked me if she could swim in the deep end w/o her life jacket. :) SHE WAS GREAT!! LOVE LOVE LOVE my babies :) I have all I need. A super husband, fabulous kids, a home (2 now), a job, and a pocket full of friends that love me just as I am. I'm blessed, and thankful for it!