Where's My Trophy?

I called this blog mom of the year, b/c I'm soooo not. I have my best mom ever moments when I completely screw up, or lose it, which happens all the time. I'm not new at this mom thing, you'd think I'd have it figured out by now. But I don't. I'm still trying to feel my way, and figure things out. I make mistakes, all the time. I know I'm not the only one. All mom's have their moments, proud or not. Thankfully, I'm not a celebrity, so all of my mis-steps are not caught on camera for the world to see. It helps to talk about them. I had such a moment yesterday. Loser mom. At least now I know. SO- my hubs has been gone all week. Generally, when I need a shower, I'll do it before the kids wake up, or after they go to bed. Unfortunately, I wasn't able to do that yesterday. I needed a damn shower! My son was gone, but both girls were here, and awake. I've gotten it down pat, where I can be in and out of the shower in 8 minutes flat. I closed all the doors to the bedrooms and basement, and told Ave that I was going to take a quick shower, make sure you leave the doors all closed, and holler if you need me. The marathon shower began, 8 minutes or less, I was out of there. I walked into the living room, ofcourse still in my towel, dripping wet, to check the status of my girls. Just Avery. "Avery, where is your sister?" I'm not alarmed yet. She said she didn't know, but maybe she was down stairs. What? How did she get down stairs?!? That door was closed! I run to the steps, Jade isn't down there, it's pitch dark. I turn around, and notice that the door leading out to the garage is open. Oh shit!!! I run into the garage, and see that the door leading out to the driveway/front yard is open. OH MY GOD! My panic attack hits at this point, tears are flowing, heart is beating so fast. I fly out into the front yard, panting and crying, and see my little baby, IN THE ROAD! AHHHHHHHAHHH! One of my neighboors, another mom, had seen her and jumped out of her car to pick her up. Thank God! I run to the street and take my baby from the lady, crying, saying thanks, dripping wet, and only covered by a not-quite-large-enough towel. Geez. What that woman must think! I cannot believe that that happened. It took me some time to calm down after that. She could have been run over, or lost, or stolen. All in just a few minutes. Ave refused to fess up that she opened the doors. I needed to know for sure. If Jade can open doors already, we need to get some stuff, door knob protectors, or a hook latch thingy placed up high. She admitted that she did do it, eventually, but why she did it is still a mystery. I don't know if she wanted to get something out of the garage, and just forgot to shut the door, or if she did it on purpose. Who knows. It was my mistake. I should have known better. Trial and error. Mis-steps and mistakes. I wonder if I'll ever get it down pat, and be the mom that never screws up. Whom always has a clean house, and make up on. Whose kids never disobey, or display temper tantrums. Now where is my mom of the year trophy?