Another Funeral

I went to a funeral on Thursday. She was my dad's girlfriend. I hadn't met her yet, only spoke to her on the phone. But I went, for my dad. It was a nice funeral, as far as those go. My dad was so sad. He'd only been seeing this lady 4-6 months, but had known her all his life. My step-mom died 2 years ago. This is the first lady he's dated since Jan passed. And now she dies. He's all freaked out now, thinking he's cursed or something. Poor guy. THEN, dad called yesterday to tell me that my step-grandma died. We knew that was coming, but I didn't think it would be so soon. She had cancer, everywhere. It started in her ovaries, and when it was found, it was already stage 4. If you know anything about that type of cancer, you know the odds are not good. But it went into remission, and came back in her breasts, then to her liver, lungs, bones, and brain. It was bad. I would not want to leave this world that way. Too much suffering, and that's exactly what she did. She suffered, terribly. It's a blessing that she passed. But now I have another funeral to go to tomorrow. 2 funerals in the same week is a new record for me. Have you ever heard that saying that they go in 3's? Yikes. Now I'll be worried and paranoid for the next few weeks.
Enough of that. I still haven't caught up on all my house work. I'm feeling better about it though. I'm not so stressed about it. I'll get to it, when I have time. This week will be busy too. I have to work 2 nights this week, I have a physical tomorrow morning (joy), weigh in 3 times, dermatologist once for my last treatment(yay!) and once to see the doctor, he's going to check out Ave's skin too. I don't know what he's going to tell me. My skin has cleared up like 85-90%, which is amazing, so I don't know if I'll have to continue coming, or if this is as good as it gets. I'm pleased with the outcome! I have been wearing short sleeve shirts for the last 3 weeks. I hadn't dared for an entire 6 weeks before that.
I weighed in last Thursday, drum roll please...... I'm 1/2 way there! I am down 20 pds. HOLY CRAP! I can't believe it! I'll weigh in again tomorrow or Tuesday, and hopefully, I'll have lost 2 more pounds. I'm having a harder time w/ the diet now. I'm sick of restrictions. I know that its working, but I'm tired of it. I want to eat dammit! No worries though, I'm sticking to it. It's very interesting, this weight loss process. I have noticed changes, and have even had a few days where I looked in the mirror, and thought "hey, not too bad". But for the most part, when I look in the mirror, I still see myself the same. I can tell when I get dressed, b/c nothing fits anymore, it all falls off. Or really tight clothes before, are really baggy now. The snug shirts I own are now comfy baggy shirts. But other than that, me personally, I can't tell by looking at my body. Isn't that weird? Do you think once you have body issues, that you always will? Like I'll always see myself as fat. Even when I'm not anymore. Its rare to hear someone talk about how pleased they are w/ their bodies. Especially women. There is always something that could be smaller, or a little more up top. What is that all about? I wonder if I could ever be completely satisfied w/ how I look, or anyone for that matter.
Anyway, time for me to shove off. I need to go pick up my dad, and head to the funeral home. I hate that part. It skeeves me out to look at dead people. Worse when they've been sick, and no longer look like you remember them. When hubs grandpa died, he looked the same, just like he was sleeping. I touched his forehead for some odd reason. DON'T ever do that. It's terrible and disgusting. I was sure I was going to have nightmares for months. I didn't like it before that experience, but since then, my palms get sweaty just thinking about having to go to one of those places. When I die, I think I'm going to request a closed casket. I don't want to freak any of my loved ones out.