An outlet for a SAHM, who needed a place, to vent, bitch, and brag about her life and family
About Me
- mistyblue3
- I'm a happily married mom of 3! I recently rejoined the work force after 8 years of being a SAHM. Now I'm REALLY trying to figure it out. Finding my balance w/ my family, my job, housework, school stuff, extra stuff, and maintain some sort of social life.. Nearly impossible.
Wednesday, November 30, 2005
About me
1. I'm married, happily, for the last 6 years
2. I have 3 kids. Max is 5 ½, Avery is almost 4, and Jade is 7 months.
3. I'm a stay home mom.
4. I'm loyal
5. I can't lie, which I must say, at times, sucks. I've always been a terrible liar. I just can't do it. Even in my teen years, I think I only lied to my mom twice, but then felt so guilty, I fessed up.
6. I LOVE music, of all kids. Some of my favorites- Patsy Cline, Janis Joplin, Ella Fitzgareld, Pearl Jam, The Doors, Hank Williams Jr, Aerosmith
7. I once met Aerosmith, I chased them all over town, until I finally met up with them. Steven Tyler kissed me, and even made up a song about me on the spot. One of my many highlights.
8. I met Tori Amos once too. But that wasn't planned. Me, Chicken and another friend were bored on a Friday night. We decided to get all dressed up, and drive to Chicago (3 hours from here), with no money I might add. We were having a great time on Michigan Avenue, watching street performers, and she was just standing there, right next to us. She invited us to her show the following week and U of M, which we went to, again without money, or tickets. She was kind enough to hook us up. It was a good show. Oh, and on the way home from Chicago, we didn't have money for the toll roads. Ha! They had to write us little tickets to mail in. Fun Fun.
9. I love to sing. I'm bad at it, but I love it. And not just sing, but LOUDLY sing.
10. I love to dance, again, I'm not good at it.
11. I can cook, that I'm pretty good at
12. I got my very first dirt bike at 8. Not a fan of street bikes, but I can tear it up on a dirt bike.
13. I love dogs, and desperately want one. My hubs however, doesn't share the same desire.
14. my very best friend, Chickenis dating my brother. Kind of weird at first, but I'm all about it now!
15. I'm close to my family. Mama's girl all the way.
16. I'm a Christian
17. I have 2 tattoos. A sun on my shoulder, and a dragonfly on my back.
18. I used to have questionable piercings, 3 of them.
19. I used to drink a lot. I think I was on the alcoholic edge.
20. I grew up in a broken home w/ alcoholic parents, and then a abusive, drug addicted step-dad.
21. I have 3 dads, and 4 siblings, that includes step of course.
22. I used to be a pot head. It was my favorite pass time.
23. Besides my hubs, I only really had a few real boyfriends. There were other guys, but not really any that I had a real relationship with. And by relationship, I mean that we were together for awhile, longer than a few months, and were involved w/ each others family and friends.
24. I love to read. Anything. I think I've read 50-60 books this year.
Tuesday, November 29, 2005
She ate soap
I was trying to explain to hubs last night how I've been feeling. Its somewhere along the lines of "small, inadequate, ineffective, and unimportant." I started thinking about my family. The responsibility is weighing heavy on me. On one hand its nice to be needed, but on the other, damn. Can I get a minute? I'm so involved w/ my kids, and my hubs, and spending every waking minute taking care of them, that I've lost myself. Separate from my family, who is Misty? I don't know anymore. I suppose that's the way it's suppose to be, but can't I be just a tiny bit selfish? I'm sure the answer to that is no.
When I was younger, I had all sorts of big dreams. I wanted to be in the FBI, and to be a journalist for the New York Times. lol. I wonder who I would be, if I were not mom and wife. I'm sure I wouldn't be doing either of those 2 things. I don't want to make it seem like I'm not thankful for my hubs, or my kids, b/c I am. I'm just feeling sorry for myself. Is it possible to be a mom, a wife, and keep some of yourself around? Doesn't seem like it. I generally don't mind the responsibility of my family, but when things get hard like this, really hard, I want to run away. I don't want the pressure of making good decisions so they'll turn out to be good decent citizens. I don't want to discipline them. I want to play with them and let them do what makes them happy. I don't want to think about the laundry, or what to make for supper. I thought about getting a job, a full time job. But that's no good either. I don't want someone else to raise them, but at the moment, I don't want to either.
Monday, November 28, 2005
Random
I went shopping Friday morning. It was my first time for black Friday. I left my house w/ a friend at 4:30 am. The first stop wasn't bad, but the second, was madness! People were pushing, crowding, and cussing each other out. I stood in the check out line for an hour and 45 minutes. I didn't mind though. I made some new friends, sang some songs, and played a few games, all w/ the other strangers in line. Not too bad :) Did you hear about the Wal-Mart stampede, right here in MI at our local store? Crazy bitches. Glad I didn't go there. Sales make old hags go banana's. I don't know that I will be going next year. I'm going to finish up all my shopping online now. Oh, except for one trip to an outlet mall w/ friends.
Hubs took off Saturday to go deer hunting. I was bored out of my mind. I played UNO, Connect Four, and did umpteen million puzzles w/ the kids to try and pass the time. It didn't work. All of the friends that I would have liked to hung out w/ were gone, or ditched me. I was feeling a bit detached, and lonely. The house was so empty. Thankfully, my kids were well behaved, and they got a kick out of all the games we played that day. I was so excited when hubs finally got home- although he left me again shortly there after, and I spent another evening alone. I didn't mind as much though, because I knew hubs would be home to crawl into bed w/ me. I don't know why I was so needy on Saturday, I'm generally not. At all. The worst part of being needy that day was that none of my friends that I so adore, were there for me. It's not often where I feel like I need to lean on someone. I'm pretty self sufficient. But the one time I do feel like needing to lean, there was no one there for me. I'm still feeling a little detached. Like I don't want to call any of my friends today, kind of like- if they are interested in chatting, I'll let them call me. It's dumb I know. I'll get over it.
I get to clean another house this week! Its about time, I need the money. This house won't be near as gross as the last one, and I'll be getting paid better. Woohoo. Other good news for the week, hubs and I get to go out twice this week. Yep, twice! We are going out to dinner w/ my in laws tonight, and Thursday is his work Christmas party. I can't believe its already that time of year again. Every weekend from now till Christmas, we have something going on. The holidays are going to fly right by us. I love Christmas. Its my favorite time of the year. My little girl will turn 4 in a few weeks as well. 4?! Man. I better get on that shopping! Good day!
Wednesday, November 23, 2005
Let it Snow, Let it Snow, Let it snow...
The baby is still refusing a bottle. That's ok though. I can stick it out, i can hang :) I think my milk supply is coming back up now too. I was a little concerned, but seems alright now, or at least getting there.
My 2 older kids are both spending the night at different grandparents house's. WOOOOHOOOO! That's the best. Both of them haven't been gone over night at the same time in at least a year. I'm excited! I'm going to get some cooking done for tomarrow, some more never-ending-laundry, and some housework, play some cards, and spend some "quality time" w/ my hubs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It's going to be a great night!
Tuesday, November 22, 2005
My baby's 2nd tooth broke through. In the last week, I've been giving her a few bottles a day, so my milk supply has gone done, which was my intention. From Sunday night through all night last night, she absolutely refused a bottle. Anytime I would try to give her one, she would fuss, and push it away w/ both hands. I nursed her every 2 hours all sunday night, and all day yesterday. I felt awful. Here she was so hungry, and I only had so much to give her. I think I started something... For some reason, on Sunday night, I was just feeling clingy to her, like I HAD to be close to her. I let her sleep w/ me, and that's something that I never do. She was cuddled up close to my chest, and she kept waking up, wanting to nurse. I think it was b/c she could smell me. I'm not sure where my clingy feeling came from. Guilt? Hormones? I don't know. But it was sweet. I woke up to her making her hungry noise, and her hands trying to get at my breast. So I fed her, whenever she wanted, all night long. Oops. I'm guessing that had something to do w/ her refusing a bottle all day long. Then last night, b/c she wasn't well fed, she kept waking up. I let her go for a while, hoping she would fall back asleep on her own, but she didn't. Finally at 4 am, while she was at the breast, I slipped a bottle to her, and she took it. Phew. I did that again this morning, knowing my milk was low, and it worked. Now I don't know what I should do again. I think I'm going to pick up some fenugreek and try to increase my supply, and perhaps just stick w/ breastfeeding. We'll see.
Today is laundry day. I'm letting the rest of my house go to hell, and I'm just going to concentrate on laundry. I can't remember when I was so behind. I always have a few loads waiting, but right now, I think I have like 15 or something. I'm going to keep track of how many I do.
I have to get some groceries for Thanksgiving today too. We are getting together w/ hubs side of the family- should be fun. This was the most boring post ever. But whaever- the burden has been lifted. Happy day all.
Sunday, November 20, 2005
Naughty
Thursday, November 17, 2005
HNT First Snow
So on Tuesday night, the weather man predicted a "light dusting" that prly wouldn't stick. Does this look like a light dusting to you? Light dusting my ass. By last night, we were under a winter advisory for 3-6 inches of lake effect snow. The roads were terrible this morning. Main roads were good, but all the side roads were on big sheet of ice. And, being the ever prepared mom of the year that I am, I had to rush to the store this morning for snow boots and such. My windshield wipers were frozen this morning for an entire hour, which made driving on the treacherous roads a pure joy. My kids are so excited though! We've been listening to Christmas music all day in celebration of the snow. I'm hoping that the snow will melt still, again, being ever prepared, all the kids outdoor toys are still outside and need to be packed away. Have a happy HNT!
Wednesday, November 16, 2005
Damn kids. Or damn daughter rather.
Monday, November 14, 2005
what to do...
The weekend was good. We went out for hubs bday on Saturday night, and that was fun. I didn't bowl very good(well right), but I had some great sing-a-longs w/ Chicken. It was a good time, and hubs had a blast. Yesterday was full of family time, and naps :) I love those days. It was cold, gross, and really really WINDY yesterday. A great day to stay inside and cuddle.
I think I'm ready to phase out nursing. My sweet baby has been giving me trouble. She hasn't really been interested in nursing in the last few weeks, I believe its called a "nursing strike", and from what I hear, is pretty common. But at this stage, when she doesn't nurse well, it effects my milk supply, and I can't pump hardly anything anymore, even if I try at a normal feeding time. So my milk supply is has gone down, and now at feeding time, instead of it being a relaxing joyful time w/ my baby, I get stressed wondering if its going to work- which effects my let down reflex. Its a hard decision for me. I'm over 1/2 done, my baby has been only breastfed up to this point. I could try to rough it out, if its that important to me. But I don't know if it is. Then I start to feel guility about it. We are now in the middle of cold/flu season, and nursing really helps babies stay healthy. Not to mention the benefits nursing has for me. Then I feel guility some more b/c I'm not really taking as good of care of myself for her- I've started drinking caffine, cut down on water, and some other things, so then I wonder, if I'm not taking the best possible care of myself, is breast still best? Then I feel bad for nursing- crap. My breasts have seen better days..... I wouldn't mind them springing back a tad bit. And my body has pretty much belonged to my baby for the last year and 1/2, it might be nice to have it back. I don't know. I don't want to just stop nursing right now. I don't want to upset her, and I'm also emotionally attached to it. I guess I could still nurse part of the time, and give her formula the other. But I know once I start w/ regular bottles, it will only be a matter of time until she will lose intrest completely in nursing. Bottles are easier and quicker for her too. I'm proud of myself for lasting this long, I didn't w/ my other 2 kids. Ideas, opinions, anyone? Not sure what to do...
Saturday, November 12, 2005
I'm pooped.
I'm exhausted. I watched R.A.F. kids all day yesterday so she could take care of some stuff around town, and thankfully, her kids were GREAT for me. But when she's around, they're terrible! They scream blood-curdling screams, cry, fight, yell, disobey her- its awful. Why do you suppose that is? I'm sure it has something to do w/ all the changes in the last few months, but why are they only like that for her? It was good to see her, and the boys. But I'm so tired from the sheer volume of pick up crap! That was crazy! I have spent the last 48 hours doing nothing other than dishes, and picking up toys. I cannot BELIEVE the amount of effort it has taken JUST to keep it kinda clean. I need a nap now!
We played poker last night, as always. We had 32 come. I didn't do very well. I was out kind of early, but that was a good thing~ I needed to go to bed. Chasing 5 kids 5 and under, is just a bit much!
Tonight we are going out for Hubs b-day. We're going out for dinner, and then bowling w/ 8 other couples. Should be a great time, I'm really looking fwd to it. I prly should get him a gift or something... I am the most unprepared woman ever.
Wednesday, November 09, 2005
HNT!
It got better! Much Better :D
Friday night, we played poker in the garage, as usual. We have 41 people show up! We were packed. We paid 9 places, so everyone at the final table got paid. I took 5th, for a whopping 50 bucks! Woohoooo. I won A HUGE hand. I've never been so excited during a game. If I wouldn't have won that hand, I would have been dead long before 5th. I went all in w/ pocket Q's. I had only 1300 in chips (which was an ok chip stack at that point), I had 2 callers. The guy next to me had pocket J's, and the other guy had AQ. On the flop was trash, A, 10. Shoot, I was beat then. On the turn Q! woooooooohhhhhhhhoooooooooo. Fantastic. I don't remember the river. But I won that hand, and it was HUGE. Tripled up. I've never gotten to rake in so many chips, that was the best. Good times!
Hubs took the kids out of the house for me for 3 1/2 hours on Saturday. He's such a hottie. So I was able to get my stuff done. That felt great. It is a lovely thing to clean house w/o interruptions. And you already know about Saturday night.
Sunday was our bowling night. My scores from the week before were something like 53,85, and 65? Anyway, on Sunday, I bowled, are you ready? 103, 56, and 125 bitches!!!!! WOOHOO I was so excited, I made a scene. We bowl at this little hole in the wall, w/ 8 lanes. Most of the people that bowl there are older, like 50's -60's, when I got a spare, followed by 2 strikes, I yelled "woohooo!!" jumped up and down followed by another holler of "holy shiiiiitttt!" You could have heard a pin drop after my little scene. LOL. Except for Chicken laughing hysterically and snorting. It was fun. Can't wait to see what score the bowling fairy blesses me with next week!
So far, this week has been ok. I've been kind of depressed for no particular reason. Must be a change of season or something. I haven't wanted too see anyone, or talk to anyone. I've been just wanting to hang w/ hubs, and ignore everything else. I HAVE to get it together though. I have a billion and one things to get done. Runaway friend is coming w/ her kids tomorrow for a few days. This will be the first time I've seen her, since I discovered all there was to know about her husband. I'm excited to see her, I've missed her, and I know she could use some relaxation, and a good time. Things are still really hard for her. I will try to update before the weekend, but you never know! Till later friends....
Friday, November 04, 2005
Pissed.
Thursday, November 03, 2005
A little pumpkin for you.
Today is MUCH better than yesterday. Kids are better, and the baby seems to be more like herself today as well. I went to bed really early last night, and woke up refreshed. My girls and I went to lunch w/ a friend today. Ave made some friends w/ the old ladies at the table next to us. She was talking away to them, and she says " I moved out of my room into a tent!". You should have seen the old ladies faces! hahaha! A few weeks ago, hubs set up a tent in the basement so he and the kids could have a camp out. Avery decided that she likes to sleep in there more than her bed, and we don't care, long as she sleeps. She didn't mention to the old gals that it was in the basement. HA! I'm sure they thought that I was the mom of the year :)
Do you ever play w/ google earth? I was messing around w/ it today, its cool! Are the pictures you see being taken as we speak, or are they from another time? I can't tell my looking the top of my house. I can't tell if the pool is open or not. We have a dark green cover, and the pool looked dark, but not like alge. Does anyone know?
So we are going away for our anniversery. We decided to go spend a night in a hotel, w/ the kids. I know we'll have a good time, but I was looking foward to some alone (ahem) time. That won't work so well w/ the kids in our hotel room! That will be a little different for an anniversery night. It doesn't seem like we've been married this long. I'm proud of where we are. We have our normal couple issues, like anyone else, but I'm ecstatic that its true that you fall more in love each year. Its different now, b/c its not that 'new' love, but its better, b/c its constant, and we are still passionate about each other.
I don't think I'll get back around to posting over the weekend, but wish me some luck. Not only w/ hubs and making some magic :), but w/ poker too. I played awful last week. Have a good weekend!
Wednesday, November 02, 2005
Another Day
Ave " MOOOOOOMMMMM! I axci-denwy dopped your ting in da potty!"
Blue " What? What did you say?" I was across the house
Max" SHE SAID SHE DROPPED YOUR THING IN THE POTTY!"
Blue" SHHHHHH Max! I can't hear your sister! What Ave?!" Meanwhile, baby cries.
Ave" Its your ting, I sowwy, I popped on it" Brilliant. I love days that start w/ a bang. And so my day began. Ave has been more than a little difficult to deal w/ the last few days. Max has been in a foul mood, and fighting w/ Avery, and Jade, well, she was perfect, till about 2 days ago. She's getting teeth, has a terrible runny nose, decided to give up sleeping, and has cried more in the last few days than she has since she was born. I'm a bit frazzeled. Hubs and I's anniversery is this weekend, and lo and behold, we have no babysitter. P E R F E C T. One of my girlfriends is pissed at me, and my other friends husband, thinks I suck. Can it get any more fab-u-lous? I just wanted to stay in bed today w/ the covers pulled up over my head, and cry. Fuckn A. Somedays are just not so great.
Have you caught this new show called The Office? I think that's what its called. Its funny in a really retarded kind of way. Like you want to turn it off, but you can't help it. You have to keep watching. Deer in headlights type of thing.
I need to get back to my laundry, and mopping. I hope something goes better this afternoon, or I might have to start smoking crack or something similar....
Tuesday, November 01, 2005
Halloween
Poker was fun on Friday night. I didn't make any money, but I made a few new friends, that was cool. We did a whole lot of nothing the rest of the weekend, which makes it difficult to blog. Nothing interesting to talk about.. I'll come up w/something tomarrow, maybe :) Perhaps a story from back in the day. I'll think of something.