It's not as bad as I thought.

I had my daughter evaluated today by my friend, who is an OT. That's what she(OT) does all day. She works w/ kids w/ emotional/behavioral problem, add, adhd, downsyndrom, autism, and many other disabilities. B/C of my daughters temper issues as of late, I've been concerned. Not only concerned, but I've felt like I've been doing something wrong, or failing my little girl. I always thought that bad parenting = rotten kids. I've been finding out that isn't always true, at all. OT had some GREAT ideas for me. One of them is the 'first and then' thing. She said to start using it in play, like "first we are going to climb the ladder, so THEN we can jump into pillows!" so then next time I'm having Ave is having a fit about cleaning her room, or a time out I can say "I know you don't want to, what would you like to do" generally followed by an answer from Ave. When Ave gives me an answer I can say "that sounds great, lets do that, but FIRST finish this task so we can THEN do the other thing" She said that its sounds too simple and even silly, but it does great things to help little guys process things, and redirect negative emotions. I was telling OT about having a hard time getting ave to stay in time out. Her suggestion for that was to use Stop, Think, and Act. When Ave comes out of her time out too soon, to make her stop, ask her what she's suppose to be doing, and then redirect her. Ot said a big thing is getting them to come up w/ explanations for their emotions. Ave can tell me what she's feeling, but I've never thought to ask her why she feels that way. Ot also said that I should try to not let any of the things Ave says when she pissed to bother me, but to say instead "I don't think you really think mommy's ugly, I think that you're angry that you have to do this whatever" so she starts thinking about why she feels a certain way. OT doesn't believe anything is wrong w/ my daughter, other than she's a defiant child, and is not able to express why she's upset, and when we start working on those things, that it will start to get better. She gave me 2 books to read to help me out w/ this. One is called 'The challenging child' and I think the other is 'Emotional Milestones'. The are both by the same author. If anyone is interested in reading them, email me and I will send you all of the information. I feel better now, I've really been on edge about the whole thing. I just want to make sure that I'm doing the best job I possibly can for my kids, but doesn't everyone? You would think after 3 kids, I would have an idea of what to do, but they are all so different. This paragraph is so scattered, and all over the place. Sorry, hope its readable.

Have I mentioned that I like to read romance novels? Some are super cheese, but I like them. I've been on a kick this week. In these books, whenever there is a love scene, one of the lovers never fails to call out the the name of the other in the heat of passion. I don't do that. I don't believe I have ever done that. Seems to dramatic or something, or obvious. Do you do that? Something else irritating about these books.. I was reading about a prince, and whenever he was addressed in the book, he was addressed as "his Royal Highness". Doesn't that seem too feminine? But I suppose "His Royal Hinor" would sound too much like "his royal ass"...