First time mom

I didn't know what to post today. I wrote a letter to a new friend about my first time mom experience,she wanted to know if I had a hard time. Figured I could use it as a post.. Here you go

Oh Friend!!! You are SOOOO normal, and not at all alone! I had a terrible time when my first child was born. Before you have kids, you hear about how fabulous it is, and even more fantastic if you're a stay home mom. I thought it would be for me too- but it wasn't. Not even close. I was a mess, all the time. I was constantly worried that I was doing everything wrong, my hubs was working 13 hr days, and was completely useless when he got home (b/c of his long hours), not to mention that he didn't know what to do for me. I cried a lot. I can remember rocking my son at 3am, holding on to him for dear life, but devastated at the same time, because I didn't know what to do w/ this beautiful little guy. I had post-partum (sp?) depression. It wasn't the type where I ever thought about hurting myself or my child, but I was a wreck. No one tells you the truth about how they really feel,or how it could be. It isn't all fantastic and magical, yes there are moments, but its hard! Suddenly the world rests on your shoulders, its a huge change. Being a stay home mom sucks. At least until you get used to it, figure it out, and find some support. You're not a bad mother at all for wanting to get away. You need to get away every now and then. I know that when I get out for a while, I can be a better mom when I get home, b/c my patience (sp?) is renewed. You lose so much of yourself when you become a parent. Everything about you changes. What's important, what you like, where you go, how late you stay out. Any hobbies you had pre-baby, settle on the back burner. And for some reason, that's not always true for our other halves- I don't understand that, but that's the way it is, and that can make you feel bad too- knowing that you have sacrificed so much of yourself for your family, when hubs/boyfriend doesn't have to, or didn't as much. I'll never understand that, but the majority of parenting/baby care taking falls on mothers. Your not alone at all, and you sound like a fantastic mommy- you just need to remember to take care of you too. This mom business, ain't no joke. Its hard babe. Don't be so hard on yourself, and don't feel guilty! I felt like you did until I found a moms group, it can really change things for you. I want to encourage you to find one. If you find one that you don't feel like you really click in, look for another. There are moms like you and I all over, trying to find girlfriends. You'll be ok, hon. Please keep in touch!

Hope today is the best!
Misty