We had a great time on vacation! We didn't leave until last Sunday morning. Our first stop was here, at the Great Wolf Lodge. I've mentioned it before, but if you have kids, this place is a must! Our kids LOVE it, and so do we. It's fun. The baby even had a good time. Go figure. She can't stand the bath tub, but loves the pool, and the beach. Sleeping was a bit rough. J woke up at 3am, and didn't go back to sleep until 6am. Hubs and I had just fallen back to sleep (ahh), and the other 2 got up at 7. Sheesh. Hubs and I were none too pleased, but alas... So we were all a little grumpy as we left. From there, we drove to Ludington, which was about 2 1/2 hrs away. Wouldn't you know it. It was hotter than hell, and we have a broken air conditioner. Family of 5, very little sleep, cramped van full of shit, and H O T. Not so pleasant. Kids bitched back and fourth for the whole drive. Hubs made me giggle. He actually pulled the car over to the side of the road. Did your parents ever say that to you? "DON'T MAKE ME PULL THIS CAR OVER!" Mine said that, but they never pulled over. Haha. We were relieved when we finally pulled up to our campground. The campground was great. Not very big, shady lots, and it sits on a bluff, over looking Lake Michigan. It's called Buttersville. There is a very steep staircase that goes from the top of the bluff, down to the lake. Perfect. Private beach. Going down is no problem, but man! Walking back up all 80 steps after swimming and sunning all day w/ 3 kids and beach crap. OUCH. My legs were killing me by the end of the week! We had borrowed a camper for this trip, and it took a while to set it up. It was a nice camper! Plenty of room for us, and much more comfortable than sleeping on the ground, in a tent, as we normally do. When we finished setting up, we went straight to the beach. What a sight! There was a HUGE storm rolling across the lake. The lightning was shooting all across the sky, and then straight down to the water. Purple, gray and black clouds. Awesome. The storm was terrible! If you want, you can read about the storm Here. I'm so glad we had the camper! The storm reached us a few hours before it got to Grand Rapids, and the link for the storm info is from GR, but you get the idea. Instead of hanging out in the camper, we decided to find a restaurant, and then go grocery shopping. The worst of it was over when we got back to camp. The campground lost electricity and water for the next 24 hours. Icky. When the power came back on, they still couldn't get the well pump to work to get water back. My brilliant hubs fixed that. Thank God! He was the hero for the rest of the week :) We spent the next few days laying on the beach and swimming. Wonderful! The kids did really well, and all 3 of them had a blast. Hubs and I had a good time to. As soon as we could get the kids to bed, we'd get a couple of beers, and sit next to the fire to talk. Catch up. Its amazing how little time we have to do that at home. We get so busy w/ chores and kids, we forget to make time. So nice to get to do that. I loved being able to hang out w/ him for an entire week! When we got bored w/ the beach, we did some exploring in Ludington, checking out all the little shops. It's such a cute town. Quaint is a good word for it. I've already decided that I want to go back, but only w/ hubs, and I want to stay here. For some reason, I fell in love w/ that place. I just have to go back!
We also spent an afternoon at White Pine Village. That was cool too. WPV is I think 23 acres, and filled w/ historical buildings from Mason County. I think all of them are from 1800's. They have been moved from all over the county to WPV. All of the buildings are filled w/ antiques from that time period. Its a self guided tour, and you get to go through everything, which is awesome! It was cool to see how families lived in the 1800's here in MI. I love history, and it was great to be able to share that w/ my kids. They were really interested in all of the places we went through. We went through a farm house, barn, courthouse w/an upstairs apt, trappers cabin, print office, post office, ice cream parlor, blacksmith, hardware store, doctors office and a chapel are just a few of them. They had a lot of questions about different things, and what they were used for. When we were going through the house, I asked them if they had seen a bathroom. Well no mom, where is it? Te he he. They thought it was so funny that you had to go outside to pee in an outhouse. In the gift shop they had cook book filled w/ recipes from that time frame, which I found really interesting. I wish I would have bought a couple!!! That's ok, though.. I'll be back. We had such a good time. It was one of the most relaxing vacations we've had. Generally when we go on vacation, we go out of state, and every day we are there, we're going to check out the sites, constantly running. I think I preferred this, and it was so much cheaper. Very nice time. Its good to be home, but now I'm so far behind on things. I can't seem to catch up on the sleep that I lost either. J had a hard time sleeping pretty much all week, so hubs and I rotated getting up in the middle of the night and driving her around. Getting back is always the worst. Now I need a vacation from my vacation. LOL. I had good intentions to put up some pictures, but I haven't had time to get to them yet. They're on my list :) I'll get to it!

I'm back!

Vacation was GREAT! We had an awesome time. I've been trying to catch up today. Tons of email, phone calls, and bills to take care of, not to mention laundry! ugh. I will post more about vacation, and pictures soon. but in the mean time... I got this in an email today. I have no idea what in the hell it is. Can't seem to follow it. See if any of you can figure it out! :)

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What in the hell is all that nonsense? And why would anyone send that crap?! Lemme know if you can figure it out :)

It was good!

I had a great time meeting up w/ the girls I went to h.s. with! After 3 margaritas and a nice visit, I'm feeling pretty pleased :) We found lots to talk about. It was great rehashing rumors and hearing the truth beneath them. lol! Good stuff all around!
My hubs fixed the pool, handy sexy man that he is. yay! I hope we can get it back to perfect sooner than later! He's gone right now :( He got called into work. It makes me nervous when he works on jobs like these. He said this one was a pretty bad one. He really competent, but I still worry about him. I'm hoping I'll be able to sleep tonight. Perhaps the 3 margs will help.... Nite nite all!

I had a rough night w/ the baby last night. She woke up crying her poor lil' eyes out, and there was nothing I could do to fix it. Nothing made her feel better. It was so sad. I was at a loss. I almost called the doc. Finally, after about an hour and a half of carrying on, I threw her in the car at midnight, and took a nice long country drive. She didn't fall asleep, but it did chill her out enough to go to sleep when we got home. I finally got into bed at 1. Ick. The only thing I can think of is that it might be her teeth. She's get 2 new molars in on the top. Poor baby. I hope we don't have another night like that!
I'm getting together w/ some girls I went to high school with tonight. I wonder how it will go... I haven't seen 3 of them since we graduated (10 yrs ago), and those 3, I wasn't friends with in high school. Not that we were enemy's by any means, just we didn't hang out. I hope it goes well and we can come up with shit to talk about. We're only meeting for drinks, so if it sucks, I can always sneak out. I'm sure it will be fine, but good grief. What do you talk about w/ 3 people you hardly know? The other 3 that are coming, I still see, so that's cool. I'll let you know. I'm thinking that it'll be a good time. Any excuse to break away from the family is sweet! Yay! Out twice in one week. Amazing!
I'm getting ready for our vacation today. Packing, laundry and cleaning. I'm so excited about going! We'll be at the beach all week. I hope the weather is bearable. It's hotter than heck today. I think the temp is 90 or so, but the humidity is terrible! The air is so thick out there, that it feels like you can hardly breathe. The worst. Oh, and our flippn' pool is broken. Of course it would be. Hotter than hell, why wouldn't it break? The pump is completely shot. Won't even make a noise when you flip the switch. Turning a nasty shade of green as I type. ick. I hope hubby can fix it. We don't really have the money to buy a new pump right now. We were planning of doing some work to it in the fall, but not now. Something will work out for us. Seems like there was something else I was going to tell you.... OH!!!!!!!!!! Woohoo! Finally lost another pound. Taking F O R E V E R now. 3 pds left kiddies.. That's it. I'm so close I can taste it. Catch ya later!

I LOVE these pictures. My hubs is such a stud! And a good daddy to. These are from this weekend when we went camping. The first one I was trying to get everyone to 'look at mommy' but that didn't work, however, I think its even better this way. The other one is from the beach. Hubs set up his chair just a little way into the water, so he could keep the baby from going any farther out. Looking good babe, real good. :D Camping was fun! The place we camp at is really rustic! It's in the middle of NOWHERE w/o water or electricity. Kind of tough to rough it w/ kids who are constantly getting dirty! We spent time at the beach, riding our quad through the woods, and doing some fireworks. It was a great trip! I got stung by a bee though. OUCH. It wasn't like a little tiny bee either. It was a giant steroid type of bee. Hurt like hell! Right on the inside of my wrist. It swelled up and 1/2 my arm turned red. I still have a bump, and now it itches like crazy! Hubs found it for me (the bee), and killed it. My hero! I'm still tired, and recovering from the weekend. Wedding madness, and then 3 days of camping, boating, riding, and the beach. I'm not 10 anymore, I'm sore. Stinks to get old.
Today my gf and I brought our kids to a farm, and picked berries. YUM! Raspberries, and strawberries. The strawberries are HUGE, and beautiful. Picture perfect berries. I think we ate nearly as much as we brought home. I'm learning to make jam. I'm going to start the process tomorrow, I'll let you know how it turns out. See, I really am old. I'm all excited about learning to make jam, and can things. I even learned how to knit! lol. Where does the time go? Who knew that jam and knitting would get me nearly as excited now as a kegger and free pot used to. LOL!

It's Official!

My best friend is now officially, my sister. The wedding was perfect! Beautiful Bride, beautiful setting, beautiful weather.... Went off without a hitch. Well, one hitch, in the sense that they ended up 'hitched'. lol. It was fantastic!!! Here are a few pictures for you. I have TONS to go through and download yet, so I'm sure I'll have more up this week. Chicken has not updated yet with her pictures or version, so be sure to check her blog too. I have lots more to tell you about the rest of the weekend, but no time for now! I'll get to it!

Woohoo and Shit!

Let's do the woohoo first. I weighed in today!! I've lost 40pds!!!!!!!!!!!!! No flippn' way! Unreal! I can't believe it! I'm soooooo excited! I still have 4 pds to go, but so w h a t! 40 is terrific! My lull must be over. The last month has been really slow w/ weight loss. 1/2 pd one week, 1 pd the next, then up one, then down 3/4 of a pd. Frustrating! But today I went down 3 whole pounds! Y E S! I can do it! By my date. I will get 1/2 my money back! I promise to put up before and after pics next week. I'll have to have Chicken scan them in for me, b/c mine doesn't work, but I will do it. I was in a wedding last September, so I will use a picture of me from there for my before, and a picture from Chicken's wedding tomorrow for my after picture. I spent some time looking at the pictures from the wedding last September, and they were really awful. Like make me want to cry awful. It isn't any fun to see how fat you truly are. I knew I was heavy, but I didn't think of myself as a blimp, I think I was in denial. Those pictures broke my heart man. I don't really want to put them up, anyone to see me that way, but hopefully, the pictures from the wedding tomorrow will make up for those, and I'll look great. I hope so.
So on to the shit. What an awful way to wake up. One of my cats got sick this morning. I woke up to gross noises, and cat shit/vomit all over the floor in my bedroom and in the hallway. Oh nasty nasty nasty. I'm not a morning person. I'm cloudy and fuzzy and a bit grumpy till I get a cup of coffee down, needless to say, I was NOT happy, at all. GROSS. So, I'm cleaning it up. And my darling daughter runs into to M and J's room to tell them about the sick cat. J was awake, but playing happily in her crib. She's fine in there, until she see's you, then you HAVE to get her up. I didn't want to get her up until I cleaned up the cat mess! Grr! I went in there to get her, and dammit. She learned how to take her diaper off. She was standing in her crib, happy as a lark, naked as a jaybird, standing in a puddle. Ick. Then I had to stop cleaning cat mess, to clean up baby mess. Into the tub she went. When I got her settled, and the other kids breakfest, I went back to cleaning cat stuff. I brought my cats downstairs, to put them in the room w/ their food and box, and guess what I found?? MORE cat gross-ness. More cat clean up, and finally, back to the baby's room to take care of the crib. Oh my. What a begining of the day. Not a pleasent morning to say the least.
The rehearsal dinner for Chicken and my brother's wedding was last night. Awww. It's going to be so pretty. They are getting married outside, next to a small pond w/ waterfall, woods as the backdrop, and a lush green lawn for the guests to sit on in front of the pond. Perfect. We had a cookout at her mom's afterwards. The food was good! We had a good time. I can't wait until tomorrow!
We are leaving to go camping Sunday morning for 3 days. So today, I need to do all of our laundry, wash all of the sleeping bags, and pack everything up, being that I won't have time for it tomorrow. Busy busy busy day! Keep an eye here the middle of next week for pictures. I hope you have a happy 4th!

Link Practice.

I'm trying to figure out this link business.
Chicken

This is where we went saturday night Grand Haven, MI

Are these working for you?

hmmmm... I think i'll get it someday. Thanks to
Keith for his help :)

Cleaning!

I made a deal w/ myself that I would clean one room of my house everyday. Not normal cleaning, but the stuff I never do. Organize closets, wash windows, walls, and baseboards, oh, and dust e v e r y t h I n g. I suppose that's spring cleaning, but I didn't get to it till now. I'm amazed at all the stuff I'm finding. How in the world do we end up collecting so much junk? I'm not an organized person, at all. My house is generally free of clutter, b/c I can't stand that, but all of my closets are total chaos. I started today w/ my bedroom, thinking that would be the easiest to do. I pulled out 2 bags of clothes to donate, and a whole bag of shit. Stuff I've been saving for who knows why. I moved all of my furniture to clean behind it, and oh, my. How does it get so dusty under a bed or behind a dresser? Gross. I'm going to do M and J's room tomorrow, and I know that's going to be worse than mine. I'm saving the kitchen cupboards for last. There is something like 28 cupboards in my kitchen, and they are all full. Old tupperware that I never use, and all sorts of kitchen utensils that I never touch. I'm getting rid of it all! No more cupboard or closet chaos. My new mission.
Weightloss is still going. I was hoping to reach my goal by the wedding, but I'm still 5 pds shy. Shoot. I still have 4 weeks to get rid of that last 5, and I hope I make it!!!! I'll get 1/2 my money back if I succeed by that time. I'm pleased w/ myself. It hasn't been easy though. It didn't get hard until these last 10 pds or so. Up until then, the weight was just flying off. Now its trickling. Somewhat frustrating, but I know I can get there, and I will. I'm going to be sweating my ass off and starving if need be, but I WILL GET THERE.
Did you know puppies lost their teeth? I did not know that. I found one on my kitchen floor today and nearly puked. Nasty. I stepped on something, and when I picked it up, gag. Small bloody puppy tooth. Eww. I hope I don't find anymore of those. Why can't he lose them all outside somewhere? Ick.
I must be going. I want to get my kids to bed early tonight, so I can have some down time. I just started reading a new book and I want to dive into it. I've never read this author before, but so far so good. The story was confusing in the beginning, but now 8 chapters in (short chapters) its starting to make more sense, and get interesting. Besides that, my toes need to be polished. I bought a fab whore red for my toes :) I wouldn't wear it on my fingers, but perfect for the toes. Nitey nite all.

Hung Over...

I have a hang over today. Not feeling so hot. Last night was my card night, and I had been really busy all day. I forgot to eat. Had a few drinks, and I was loopy. I just can't hang anymore. I'm too old. lol. I really did have a good time though. I didn't win, but I did do some fantastic karoke (rolls eyes here). Ah, what ya gonna do, can't be perfect all the time :)
My grandpa's funeral was yesterday. My mom and uncle did a good job of putting things together. I met some really interesting relatives. Yikes. My mom always kept my brother and I away from those people. Most all of them are trouble and have prison records. I met 3 cousins, all women, who were my mothers age, or older. They were Hispanic, and had corn rolls in their hair, and each of them wore at least a dozen gold chains. They looked like gangsters! They were telling my mom and I about another one of their sisters, how she was stabbed to death at a friends house, and how their mother( that would be my great aunt) was also stabbed to death, but in her own home. Oh my goodness! I didn't know any of that, and I hadn't met them ever before. I was joking w/ my mom later and asked why she never told me I was part Hispanic gangster. lol. Most of my other Aunts I knew about, but have never met. I've heard stories about them. They've all been to prison for all sorts of reasons. Fraud, assault, Robbery. And these are just the women. The men have worse records. I'm so thankful that my mom kept us away from all of that. She grew up in it, and with them, and it wasn't a good experience for her. Its like that entire branch of my family is all bad, all bad people. And my grandpa was like that. He changed in the last year, but up until then he wasn't a good man. I never really knew him when I was little. He was in prison for the first part of my life, and later when he would pop in, my mother made it very clear to me never to be in a room alone w/ him. He was never unkind to me, but I wasn't heartbroken when he died. That sounds so bitchy. I didn't know him, but I felt sad for my mama. Anyway, enough of that.
My brother's X girlfriend is in town. They dated years ago, and I always loved her. She left to join the Navy, and we hadn't seen her in years. She found my email address a few years ago, and we've kept in touch since then w/ that. She came over yesterday!!!!! It was great to see her! It has been 13 years since I saw her last. I liked her b/c she stood up for me all the time to my brother. When I had my first boyfriend, my bro didn't like him at all, and was trying to make trouble for me. Dick. lol. Jen had my back, and I've never forgotten her for it. We had a good visit! I'm going to try to see her again next week before she heads back home to TX.
We went out for Chicken's bachlorette party Saturday night. We had a great time. We went to Grand Haven, which is on the west coast of MI, right along Lake Michigan. We people watched, had dinner, walked down the boardwalk, checked out all the big ass boats, shopped a little, ate home made ice-cream at this fantastic old fashion shop, mmmmmmm it was sooooo good. Home made waffle cones too, dipped in chocolate w/ nuts, or chocolate w/ sprinkles. We finished the night watching the musical fountain which is much too cheezy to explain to y'all on here. It was fun. Nothing crazy, but a great time. The weekend turned out really well.
This Saturday is the day. Big wedding fun!!!! Thursday is our rehearsal dinner, I think I'll be helping chicken w/ wedding things on Friday, and then S A T U R D A Y. I've been thinking about my toast/speech thing, and I'm at a loss. Everything sounds mushy or cheesy or just plain retarded. I think I'm going to wing it. Something will come to me, right? I'll post pictures of the rehearsal and the wedding as soon as I get them home. My computer is having an issue w/ my camera, but I think I just plugged it in the wrong spot. Maybe. I wish I was more computer literate. Speaking of that, could someone please explain to me how to do links in my blog post? I thought I knew, but when I try it never works, and then I get pissed and want to throw this damn thing out the window or beat it to pieces w/ a very large hammer. Thanks, and pardon my tangent :)

Terrible.

My mom's dad passed away last night. That's not the terrible part. What's terrible, is that no one called to tell her! She came in this morning at 8:45am, only to find an empty bed. She said that she collapsed on the floor, and broke down. AND, my poor mama was alone. TERRIBLE. He died at 12:05 last night. The nurse called one of my Uncles, and there was a miscommunication. He thought she was going to call the others, and the nurse thought he was, so neither of them called anyone. My mom is beside herself. I'm hoping to see her later today. I imagine its a good thing that he went so fast, much faster than they thought he would. So, here I go again. To my 5th funeral this year. Unreal. I hope this is the LAST one!

Good news too! My friend C went to the doc yesterday for her test results, and guess what??!! NO CANCER! The doctor said he was dumbfounded. He said that in all his 20 some years experience, he has never seen anything like this. He said her uterus was so messed up and full of tumors, that he was 100% convinced that he was going to have to break her heart, and give her the worst possible news. She still has to have her colon checked out, but so far, she is cancer free!!!!!!! She's bouncing off the walls, and feels like a new person. She said she feels like she can move on w/ her life now. I'm so thrilled for her! About time we had some more good news!

Happy Thursday all!

Morbid

My mom's dad is dying. Yes, that would make him my grandpa, but I don't really know him, and I've never been close to him. To tell you the truth, I don't even like the guy, but I love my mom, so I'm there for her. She called last night at 11, crying, b/c he had taken a turn for the worst. She wanted me to pick her up, and bring her to him. I did, and it was weird. Death freaks me out. Not mine really, just other people. I'm not worried about me dying, but I certainly don't like to be around others who are. I'm sure it would be different if it were someone I loved, but it was rough going last night. He can't talk anymore, and he hasn't eaten or had anything to drink for 3 days. He will still open his eyes when you talk to him though, and he can shake his head yes or no, so he's still here, kind of. My mom was very upset last night, well right. She was trying to get him to talk to her, and she finally said " Are you ready to go home now dad? Are you ready to go home to Heaven?" and so on. I was thinking that whole time, what if he really isn't going to die, and he's just sick? What if he's too weak to talk to you, but he hears you just fine, and instead of encouraging him to feel better, your urging him to die? If that's the case, she's going to have a good ass reaming coming. They don't really know what's going on with him. They called it 'adult failure to thrive'. He doesn't eat hardly at all, even when he could. I'd be surprised if he weighs 70 pds. I didn't know a man could be that small, and still live. His upper thighs are the size of my forearms. Its bad. It sounded to me like another form of suicide. And if the doc's don't do anything about it, isn't that kind of like assisted suicide? He has said that when his time comes, he doesn't want a feeding tube, or to live on machines, so they just let him go. Starve himself to death. Gross, and completely freaky. I hope my mom gets through this ok. I'm sure she will, but there is so much going on w/ Chicken's wedding only a little over a week away. The hospice nurse told us last night that if he doesn't eat anything real quick like, he should pass within 5-7 days. Creepy. He already looks dead, and my mom was talking about him as if he were. I don't deal with those sort of things very well, but I want to be there for my mom. ick.
Better stuff! The make up guy came over to do Chicken and I up today. That was kind of fun. Chicken very rarely wears makeup(she's so beautiful she doesn't need it, bitch) so it was cool to see her all barbie style :) I'm having her bachlorette party this Saturday. Woohooo. We aren't doing much, but I'm sure we'll have a good time. We're going to go have dinner overlooking lake Michigan, take a stroll down the boardwalk/beach, and stop for ice cream. Nice evening out w/ the girls. OH, and I'm sure she'll bitch about this on her blog, but our grandpa was suppose to be my bro's best man, my gpa told my bro YESTERDAY, that he hurt his hip (LAME EXCUSE), so he doesn't want to be in the wedding now. He's fine. He could stand for 20 minutes, or chicken even said she didn't care if he needed a chair to sit in up there. What a rotten thing to do. The wedding is in 10 days! My bro is going to talk to him again today to see what the real reason is. Can't be just his leg. He's shy most of the time. I wonder if he never really wanted to do it, but didn't want to say no, and now he feels like he has a good enough excuse. Hmm. Prly not old man.
Lots of other interesting stuff has been going on lately, but as usual, I'm short on time. I drove around in a car last weekend w/ the alarm going off the whole time. That was fun. I couldn't figure out how to turn it off, and I couldn't get ahold of the people I borrowed it from. I finally pulled the horn fuse so at least it wouldn't beep. All the lights kept flashing though. LOL. Just another adventure in the land of Blue. hahaha. I hope all of you are well in blog land!

Yesterday was a rotten day. My kids were naughty, my cats stupid, and my dog was an asshole. Everyone was trying to get under my skin! By last night I was ready to run away. I think Max is having a hard time adjusting to school being out. He usually my good kid. Not so much this week. He's really emotional, and mean to his sister. I can't stand it when they are mean to each other. Bound to happen, I know, but geez. He's been bossy, LOUD, demanding, and outright rude to Avery for no good reason. And he's having tantrums like he's 2 instead of 6. I have no patients for that! He's big enough to use his words, drives me nuts. I hope it doesn't take long for him to get used to being home all day.
I got in a fight w/ an OLD man the other day!!!!!!! I hope most of you read me enough to know that I'm not a mean spirited person. I don't fight w/ strangers, nor do I normally take offense at someone saying nonsense about me. BUT, this guy PISSED ME OFF! I was driving down the road, following this guy. Of course he was driving too slow, but whatever. We were only on a one lane street. The road eventually splits into two lanes, so when it did, I moved over to the right lane to go around him. He was driving on the wrong side of the car, he must deliver papers or mail or something. Anyway, he wasn't paying attention, so he took up both lanes. When I started to move forward, he must have just caught it out of the corner of his eye, because I saw him jerk his car over, and beep and me. I wasn't being the asshole, but ok. I would have been fine w/ a dirty look and honk, even though I didn't do anything wrong, but he didn't let it go. When we got up to the light, he rolled his window down and started yelling at me! "DUMB SHIT! DON'T YOU KNOW HOW TO DRIVE? WHY DIDN'T YOU GET OFF MY ASS BACK THERE! STUPID BITCHES DON'T KNOW HOW TO DRIVE!!" I couldn't believe his nerve! Talk to ME that way. I tried to be diplomatic about it, and nice. I said "EXCUSE ME!!!!!!! WHAT DID YOU SAY TO ME! YOU sir, were not paying attention to where you were going and took up both lanes! I just moved to the side to take my own lane. It isn't me who doesn't know how to drive." Meanwhile, he's STILL bitching, calling me names. I told him to watch his mouth please, I have kids in the car. I relize now that I just should have rolled up my window and ignored the ranting bastard, but he was so rotten! I couldn't. So I gave in to my frustration and flipped him off while he was still bitching. For some reason, he could say whatever he wanted to me, but he was MOST offended when I did that. He did some head-bob thing and stuck his head farther out the window, his outrage clear on his face. Then he says"IS THAT RIGHT???" and I responded "Absolutely right! Is there something you'd like to do about it, you old fucker!" Of course I had to mouth the word 'fucker' b/c my kids were in the car. MY GOODNESS! I can't believe how mad I was. I can't remember the last time I was that pissed. I suppose it's a good thing they were in the car, b/c otherwise I might have gotten out of my car to hit him in the face w/ my shoe. Max was a little confused by what had happened. He wanted to know why that stranger was yelling at me. The best I could come up with on the spot was "He's a crabby old man w/ no manners!" That seemed to work. I wonder how many of that man's filthy words my kids heard. So far, they haven't repeated any. For now. I'm sure it will come out at a most inconvient time. Like at church. It'd be perfect for one of my kids to start yelling about dumbshits then. Or stupid bitches. For cryn' out loud! I called hubs after that confrontation, for his comfort, loyality, and support. And do you know what I got??? He laughed his ass off. Thought it was hilarious! He said that crabby old men crack him up. Thanks, babe. I'm glad old men calling your wife bitch tickles you so. lol. I see the humor in it now, but not then I was too pissed!
Nothing else too exciting around here. I've been laying out by the pool all afternoon w/ a smutty novel. Rough life, I know. Today has been much better. I have to go to work tonight, and then I'm off to go roller blading. I need some exercise. I have to weigh in tomarrow morning and i'm nervous about it. I'll let you know how it goes. Have a good afternoon!

Oh, and spell check isn't working, so just sound them out!! lol!

Monday Monday.. da daa da dada dah

What song is that? I can only remember that part. Anyway. Good morning! I had a nice weekend. On Friday, I went out w/ some friends for a birthday. We had really good food, and a good visit. That's always nice. Saturday, hubs and I played in a 108 person no limit hold em tourney. I finished 5th! Woohooo! I can't believe that I made it that far. I was short stacked so often. We started w/ 1000.00. When everyone else had an average of 4000 chips, I had 200. Yep, that's it. I thought for sure I was done, or would be in a few minutes. I kept pushing my chips all in, thinking that it was over for me. I kept winning! I ended up making my small stack grow to nearly 20,000 in about a half hour. It was awesome. I was the comeback queen. A chip and a chair was my anthem. My girlfriend watched the kids for us. Originally, I told her that at least one of us should be done by 9pm, but we were both still in. She said that everything was fine, and not to worry, no need to rush. We kept calling to update her. When hubs called her back at 11, he was done, but I was not. She said that all of the kids were sound asleep, and why bother waking them up in the middle of the night, just come and get them in the morning. What? For real? You'll keep them ALL night??? S W E E T! If I would have known such a thing ahead of time, I would have much rather been doing something else. But cool anyway. I ended up playing till 3am. I can't remember the last time I was that flippn tired! Yesterday, I took a nap, and went to visit some friends I haven't seen in awhile. A very nice weekend overall.
I woke up crabby today. I wish I wasn't. Today is the first day of summer vacation, so I should be geeked. I'm hoping the coffee will help me out. I'm getting my new computer today! Should be up and running by late afternoon. I hope everything works when it all gets put together. I can't think of anything else, so happy Monday all!

Good and some Bad

Good news! Mom in law is in the clear. The thing in her chest is scar tissue from the radiation. NOT CANCER! wooooooooooooohoooooooo! I'm thrilled w/ that news! My Uncle's brain surgery went well. They found 2 tumors when they got in there. One was just a fluid filled cyst, and the other was a cancerous tumor, 4 inches in diameter. HUGE. They were able to remove 90% of it, and feel strongly that w/ radiation and chemo, he can survive it, so that too is good news. Baby E is feeling much better too. He has pneumonia now. Poor sad baby. The doctor gave him steroid shots, and antibiotics, and he is almost back to himself.
I have a stupid cat. I actually have 2 cats. Mike and Boo. They were meant to be inside cats, but Boo started sneaking out last year. He likes to prowl. I don't know why. He's fixed, and clawless, but whatever. Mike on the other hand, has always been terrified of the outdoors. Boo must be rubbing off on him though, because he's been wanting to explore a bit. I don't mind. He doesn't go far, and as soon as I say his name, he starts crying and comes running in. Yesterday he was out in the front yard, and caught a mouse. Avery let him, and his little friend IN MY HOUSE. I was vacuuming, and not paying attention. Avery starts tugging on my arm, "mama, there is a MOUSE in here!" I ignored her, thought for sure she was lying. She continued on, so I finally turned off the vacuum to talk to her. Sure enough.. There it was, right behind me. Beady eyed little creepy bastard. And WHERE was my stupid cat???? Snoozing. All tuckered out. I ran into the kitchen and grabbed my weapons of choice. A spatula and a strainer, of course. I went back into the living room, ready to capture it. I was crawling all over the floor w/ my weapons, mumbling to myself. Avery meanwhile is having a fit of giggles. I had him in my sights. I was c r e e p i n g along, trying to catch him by surprise. And wouldn't you know it, he ran right into my face!! My bravery and dignity fled, and I screamed like a little girl, jumping and all. These caused my 4 yr old to practically pee her pants. Unreal. Ungrateful little brats, no respect :) I gave up on my mission, and drug my sleeping cats in to the living room in hope that they would prevail. I forgot all about the mouse. Last night I was sorting laundry in my bedroom, and my retarded cats were running in between my legs. I assumed it was because I was throwing things around. I stepped over them, and sure enough, my furry friend was back. You'll be proud of me. I didn't flake out. I didn't even scream. I picked him up by his tail, and threw him out the front door. And then I scrubbed my hands for 20 minutes. I wonder where this icky mouse thing came from??? I never used to be bothered by them. I even had a pet rat in high school. Is it because I'm turning into an old hag?? Hmmmm... I'm so not cool anymore. Too old :) Loud music and mice bother me. Not to mention piles of laundry. When did I start to care about that nonsense? And have you gotten hurt lately? Do you remember being 8, and wiping out on your bike, bleeding all over. I'd cry for 3 minutes, and I'd be back out on my bike. If that happened to me now, I'd be in bed for a week! LOL. Have a good weekend all!

HELLO!

yes, I'm alive :) My computer and blogger have been plotting against me to make it impossible to post! BUT, I've outsmarted them! muhahaha!

I haven't updated in awhile. So much has been going on. Hmm. Where to start. Fun stuff first. Over the holiday weekend, I drove to the other side of the state to visit my run away friend. If I knew how to do the link thing, I so would, but I don't, sorry. She's great! She finally bought her own home there, and got on her feet. She's got a great job, and the kids love their new daycare. I was happy to see her. It's been awhile since I saw her last. I went ALL BY MYSELF! No Hubs, no kids. AND, I stayed the night. It was great, and we had a really good time. Her divorce has been started, and with any luck and a special permit from the judge, she will be divorced before her nasty X gets out of jail. Yay for her, and to starting over.
Weight Loss is still going well, but it has really s l o w e d down. I've lost 35 pounds now, and I'm loving it. Oh, I've lost nearly 20 inches as well. I've cut my size in half. I went from a 14 to a 7. Woohoo for me. I'm within mere pounds of my goal, and am desperately trying to reach it before Chicken's Wedding. Only 3 more weeks!!
I am so excited for the wedding. I can't believe that its almost here. I found shoes to go with my dress, and the jewelry that Chicken bought for me to where is beautiful. I'm starting to think about my toast, I should get that done. I don't know how I'm going to be able to get through it. I'm going to be blubbering like a baby the whole day. My bestest friend ever and my brother. Getting married, and having babies. I get teary eyed just thinking of it now. Aww.
Jade is officially a walker now. It's adorable. She walks on the balls of her feet, w/ her head forward, so she more kind of runs. Looking like she's going to fall on her face at any given moment. Tehehe. Cute baby.
My older kids are great too. We have finally reached the very last week of school for max. 2 more days. And we are freeeeeeee! Woohoooooo. I love summer.
We opened our pool on the holiday weekend. It's so gross when we first take the cover off. Looks like a swamp. The water is clean, but the pool is still cloudy, and its cold! I'm anxious to get the solar cover on it heat it up, but being that it isn't clear yet, I've been vacuuming it and brushing it everyday, and the solar cover is just too hard to get on and off 2 a day by myself.
My hubs got a promotion at work! I'm proud of him, he deserved it. He got a nice raise to go along with it. With his new position though, his hours are longer, and he can get calls on the weekends. His new position is going to make working at the hotel a little more difficult for me, b/c I never know when he'll get home now.
Ok, now the not so good news. My mother in law had the lump in her armpit biopcied, and it came back good. No cancer! But, in the follow up testing they did, they found something in her lungs. They haven't determined if its a tumor, or maybe an infection, so they are sending her back to her cancer doctor tomorrow. I hope its nothing. I really hope so. Such a roller coaster. It was hard when we found out about the breast cancer. But the treatment, and the double masectomy, and the radiation fixed it. She's been cancer free now for nearly a year. I was and am so thankful. Then the lump in the armpit thing, came back good, so we continued to celebrate her health. Now this. It must be awful for her to have this hanging over her head all the time. Always wondering if its going to come back, or when it is. I know its emotionally draining for hubs and I. I love her, and worry about her all the time. I want her to live a long life, and not have fear of it.
My friend C, w/ the uterine cancer is having a hard time too. Her surgery isn't for another week, but she's in terrible pain. She couldn't take it anymore and went to the hospital to see what they could do to get rid of the pain. They found that she also has swollen lymph nodes. When she called her doctor to follow up what the hospital had told her, her doctor said "Oh no. It must be progressing a lot faster than we first thought, or you wouldn't be in pain. We need to get that out of there." So NOW the asshole doctors are hussiling to get things done. Why don't they do that in the first place?! C's holding up great emotionally, she just wants answers, and to get rid of it.
Baby E had his biopsies done yesterday. He had 3. One on the liver, muscle tissue, and skin. It went well, but he came down w/ a fever, and puking. Getting sick in general is bad for him. His doctors said that they worry that if he gets sick "it'll push him over the edge." Whatever that means. His mom brought him to the ER, and I haven't heard yet what's going on. To get to his liver, they couldn't go through his belly button, so they made a cut just under his ribs on the right side. I hope nothing is infected!
My Uncle is also in the hospital. He was having problems w/ his vision, and feeling disoriented. He went in to see if he had had a stroke. He didn't have a stroke, but they found a HUGE mass in his brain. He is having brain surgery tomorrow morning. Good news though, they don't think that its cancer.
When it rains it poors. These are all people that I care very deeply for. I just want them well. I'll keep you posted!

I'm Still Here

I've just been busy, as usual. I will try to post all my latest tomorrow. Hope all is well with you blogland!

Dance Dance Dance

My beautiful little girl did a fantastic job Friday night! I was so impressed! We had a good time. Her dance was quick, but it was a lot of fun to watch the other classes too. They did some really cool stuff. J didn't do well, as expected :( Hubs was able to stay until Ave's dance was done, and then he took the baby home and put her to bed. By the time we got home from the recital, it was nearly 11. I had to get Ave in the tub still, that couldn't be put off. As you can see from the pictures, her hair was more than crispy, and the make-up HAD to go. Her hair turned out great! I bought one of those little curling irons that has the spiral thing on it. Before curling it, I put gel in it, and let it dry. Then as I curled each piece I sprayed the hell out of it :) It lasted until we got home! I had to wash her hair twice to get all the gunk out! It was a late night for us. My kids are generally in bed no later than 8:30! She has informed me that she doesn't want to go to dance next year. She wants to play soccer. So does my son. I signed them up! It's much cheaper than dance, and she isn't all that graceful. Maybe soccer would be more suited to her. We'll see how it goes, and the following year she can choose what she'd rather do. I'm only going to allow them one after school activity each. I don't want to end up taking kids to a different sport/whatever each night of the week. Only one! It'll be up to them to choose what they'd like. Isn't she beautiful???? Aww. My big girl. You know, it hits me at different times that my kids are getting so big. Like last night. I was reading a book in the living room, and the house was dark and sleeping. I heard someone get up. Because they didn't call for me, I went to investigate to see who was getting into what. I found my son in the bathroom, getting a drink, in the middle of the night, all by himself. This may not sound all the amazing to you, he is 6 afterall. But that is the first time ever he has gotten up late at night, and not called for me to help him. Took care of it himself. Hot dog! Nice, very nice. But makes me feel a little weird. He doesn't lean on me as much as he used to. I've been encouraging them to solve their own problems, and help themselves more often, but when they do. Wow. Getting all grown up on their mama :)
I took the afternoon off on Saturday. I was more than ready for a break. I went shopping, for 4 1/2 hours, w/ NO kids! It was just what I needed to reset my nerves. The rest of the weekend has been uneventful. Fine w/ me, I had oodles of laundry to catch up on! I think I'm down to 5 loads now. I can't wait to get it all done. Even if it is only for a minute :)

Just a Brief Vent

I think I've mentioned that I've had other people's kids here everyday this week. I'm trying to find a baby sitter for my baby tonight, so I don't have to bring her to Ave's recital. Ya' think I could find one??? OF COURSE NOT. 3 hours, only 1 baby, no takers. Grrr. I called my mom last week, and she was asking about the time of the dance tonight, like she was clearing her schedule, and then I told her that I hadn't invited any family b/c I didn't think Avery was going to do it, and she says 'oh, ok then.' Then I asked her instead of coming, do you think you could watch J for me, and she says 'um... no, I don't think I can. I might have plans' BAH. Bull crap. So I called my gf, I've had her kids 3 times in the last 2 weeks, and on very short notice. She has nothing going on tonight, but she said' ummm.. I dunno. I'm kind of burnt out, but I'd like to help, but I don't know if it will work." Well hell. You'd think I was asking for a kidney donation. So, I'm done. I am longer willing to watch ANYBODY else's kid/s EVER again. I don't mind helping out my friends when they have something going, but not if they are not willing to return the favor. I never let anyone pay me for babysitting. All I ask is that someday the favor be returned. And it isn't, ever. Screw it, I'm busy through the end of the year.

It's Friday!

I was hoping that picture would be bigger, but ah well. That is a picture of the tulips in Holland, MI. Every year they have the tulip festival. I can't remember how many they grow, but its an outrageous number. They are very pretty. Holland is a Dutch community on the West Coast of MI, right along lake Michigan. They celebrate the tulips for a week, w/ all sorts of nonsense. It's a pretty big tourist attraction, but mainly for retired folks :)

Anyway, it's Friday! Woohoo. Ave's recital is tonight! I can't wait.

My asshole dog will NOT stop barking. Suggestions?

Other than the recital tonight, I don't have much going on, which is great. I've been busy this week! I've had extra kids at my house everyday this week. I'm ready for a break, from all kids in general. Hopefully I can do some of that this weekend! Maybe disappear for an entire afternoon w/ all the time in the world. That sounds GREAT. Time to go kill my bastard dog. Enjoy your weekend!

Hello!

I hope everyone enjoyed Mother's Day! Mine was not so fabulous :( The whole weekend was awful. Hubs and I didn't get along, and basically everything that could possibly go wrong, did. Crabby kids, crabby baby, whole in the tire, fight w/ hubs, late for everything, clean up all dinner mess from MD by myself, and fight w/ hubs some more. ICK. So I'm glad that's over. I'm looking forward to a better weekend next weekend!

Avery had her recital rehearsal last weekend on the big stage, and she so did it! I was very proud of her! I think she'll do well for the real thing this week! If I can only get her hair to do what it's suppose to for the damn thing. It's suppose to be half up, and curly. I've tried the curling iron, and hot rollers, and I can't get her hair to hold the curl. Falls right out. I tried using a bunch of product w/ it, and still won't hold. Any ideas?

I weighed in again today, and I've lost another 2 1/2 pounds since last Thursday. Moving right along, and I'm getting there! I can't wait. I hope that when I get to my goal, I'll be happy with it. I still see a big girl in the mirror, and I want to change that. Physically its changed a great deal, but I still can't see it. I want to be able to see myself as I really am, good or not so good, and be ok with that. I'm working on it!

I went out w/ some friends last night and had a blast! It was just what I needed to blow of steam from my not fun weekend. I can't remember the last time I laughed that hard. AND, some guy said I was sexy :) How 'bout that? That's a first in FOREVER, except for my hubs. That goes along way in making me feel pretty :)

I can't wait for American Idol tonight! I was so bummed they sent hottie Chris home, but now I can't figure out who it will be. Katherine has not done well the last 2 weeks, and she was one of my favorites. I really like Taylor, but he doesn't seem like the 'idol' type. Elliott?? I don't know about him either. I love his voice, and he's really been belting it out lately... I suppose that of the 3, Katherine seems the most 'idol-ish' to me, but she needs to do something fantastic tonight to make that happen. Who do you think the final 2 will be?

I'm off to clean my house and do some laundry. Tomorrow will be my crazy day w/ my gf's kids all day..... I want to get all of my stuff done so I can focus on kids tomorrow, and try not to lose my mind. I'm looking forward to watching my show, taking a HOT bath, getting my most comfortable jammies on, and getting into bed early w/ a book. MMMMMMMMMMMMM. Later to all :)

Happy Mother's Day!

Well on Sunday at least! I went to see my surgeon today. My results from the scan were normal. He said that I probably had a stone and was in process of passing it at that most uncomfortable time. I very well may have problems in the future w/ my gallbladder, but for now, no surgery for me!!! YAY! I asked him to check out the bone sticking out of my hand too. He said that all of the tendons are covered in lubricated sheaths, and my tendon poked a hole in it, which is causing fluid to leak out of my sheath and make a cyst. He said it might go away on its own, but if it starts to bother me or get bigger, I can have it removed, but no thanks. Only bugs me if I push on it, so in the wise words of Chicken "Don't push on it then, jackass!" See, that's why she my best friend. She has the most comforting medical advise :)

My dear puppy Jack is being an asshole. I don't know what to do with him at the moment. He hates to be outside by his lonesome, and when the kids are outside w/ him, he trys to play with them, and ends up hurting them. He bit my girlfriends daughter the other day, hard enough to brake the skin. He wasn't being aggressive, or mean, only trying to play, but still. Now I don't feel ok w/ letting him around the kids unless I can be on top of him. Then today, he was running through the house and trampled over the baby. I almost KILLED him. She was crying, and very upset. I don't want any of my kids to become afraid of dogs, but they aren't old enough to understand that Jack isn't trying to hurt them, and if they run away failing their arms and yelling, he just think that they want to play more. Grrrr. I don't know what to do. I hope this puppy crap passes quickly!

Speaking of my baby, GEEZ she's crabby today. Hollering about everything! All morning! I practicaly have to duct tape her to the floor to change her diaper. She gotten much more expressive about stuff she does not like. Wouldn't it be nice if kids stayed smiley and compliant all the days of their lives?! I suppose if that happened that they'd end up worthless adults w/ no spine. I guess its better to be a leader, but shooooot, not w/ mommy. M'kay kids?

I don't have any new news on my friend w/ Uterine Cancer yet, and I have yet to hear how my M-I-L's biopsy went today. I'm nervous and anxious to hear something! I hate waiting. That's the worst part.

Any fabulous plans for mother's day? I'm having my mom over for dinner. She drops comments all year long about how so and so have their mother over for MD, and how she ALWAYS had grandma over for MD, and wouldn't it be nice if one of her children had her over????? Bah. Fine. Come on over. Geez. It seems like, at least in my selfish little world, that she doesn't need much of a rest on mother's day. Yes, she should be honored, but hellooo? I have 3 small kids constantly running around messing up my house, and on the ONE day of the year where it's finally MY turn, I have to have someone over?! Damn. I don't want to. But I love my mom, and I will. It just seems crappy that I have to be running around cleaning my house, and waiting on someone all day, when its my holiday to. I know, that's totally selfish, and I'm being a brat about it, not to my mother though! My blog, my complaints, even if they are shallow. I told my mom not to bring anything at all, that I wanted her to relax and enjoy the day, which is true, I just wish I could enjoy it as well. I might get a nap in, or maybe breakfast in bed. mmmmmmmmmmm. Flowers? We'll see what the hubs and the kids have in store for me. They always come up w/ something nice.

I weighed in yesterday too. I've lost another pound and a 1/2. Getting there! Its going much more slowly now, and that's fine w/ me. I was actually brave enough to try on a swimsuit today. It was a great suit, but I'm still just not comfortable enough to buy one. Maybe I'll feel differently in 14 and 1/2 pounds. This program is working so well for me, I'm glad I started it! So close! I'm hoping to have the rest off BEFORE Chicken's wedding, which is in 6 weeks. I don't know if I can do it, but I'm going to stay really focused, and exercise more. I would really like to be at my goal by that day. It'll be nice to be all dressed up in formal clothes and NOT look like a moose :) I'm going to try my hardest to get there!

Enjoy your weekend, especially all my mommy friends!

I was going to chat about some nonsense, but now I'm bummed. I just got an email from my dear friend. She's been having some problems w/ her period and what not. She had an ultrasound done, and they found 3 tumors, one of which is really big. They think that its cancer. :( She has surgery in a few weeks to remove the tumors and to see if it has spread anywhere else. Dammit. What is going on w/ this whole cancer business?! Seems like cancer is going to cash us all out. There have been many people in my circle or in friend's circles, that have passed away from cancer recently. Has it always been like that? Or is it that I'm getting older, and shit happens when you get older? Maybe it has always been that way, but b/c I was younger, it didn't affect those I knew, or I at least didn't hear about it. She's young, 2 kids, and going through a divorce right now. She doesn't need this. She has to be the sweetest person I know, she's just great, all the time. I've never seen her pissed, never heard her complain. This just sucks. I hope its not cancer. Can you just have tumors, and not cancer filled tumors? My M-I-L had a double masectomy last April, and has been cancer free since- but they just found a lump in her armpit, and have to biopsy it. The Dr. thinks that it is just a puffy nerve ending, but b/c of her history, they have to go in and check it out. What is all this cancer nonsense? Makes me sad.
Other than being sad, the last few days have been great. Kids have been well behaved, and J started saying a few more words. She's brilliant! She sings "A B C D" all on her own! Genius. I am so LOVING this stage. I like them all, but I am really liking this age. I think she took a step today too. Flying by.
We bought a quad today. The kids are really excited about it. I'm a dirt bike girl myself, but the quad is pretty cool. I'm looking forward to tearing up some trails very soon.
My scan on Friday was way less traumatic than I thought it would be. I laid on a table under a machine for an hour and a half. The machine was nearly sitting on my chest, and I had to hold still, but it wasn't bad. I'm glad my girlfriend came w/ me to keep me company, or I would have passed out from lack of anything interesting to stimulate me. Because of the position of the thing, I couldn't read, or lift up my head, my arms had to stay at my side, and who can sleep w/ all that going on? So M kept me company, it was nice to chat uninterrupted by either or our kids.
So, this was boring. Maybe I can come up w/ an interesting story tomorrow. Should be able to. I am watching my friends kids ALL DAY tomorrow. Her kids are 6 weeks, and 3. So I will have 5 kids 6 and under from 7am to 4pm. I'm sure something entertaining will happen w/ that troop running around. I'll end up laughing all day, or bald by the end of it from ripping out my hair. I'll let you know how it goes. Good night to all.

TANGENT

Please be forewarned, I'm irritated, and feel an overwhelming need to bitch. This post could very well be offensive to some, so if you are sensitive to religious or sexual orientation, you may want to skip this one.

I was reading our local paper this evening. There is an article on the front page about some local soldiers who've died, and these asshole protestors that will be at their funeral. WHY would protestors be going to a funeral, you may wonder? Because these particular brave men, who died fighting for us, were gay. These jerks are going to go to preach brimstone and hell fire to those that loved them, and will miss them. They are going to go in God's name to let the world know that these men are now burning in hell. Excuse me Mr. AssFace, but who in hell do you think you are? WHOM do you think you will be helping by doing such a nasty thing?! I am a Christian, and people like YOU give the rest of us a bad name. This burns my ass. Makes me angry. Yes, I am aware of what the bible states about sins, but are YOU aware of what it speaks of on LOVE? How about JUDGMENT? How about "who will throw the first stone?!" My thought process on sharing Jesus' teaching, is by showing LOVE, and being a servant. Not whatever it is that you think you are doing by being assholes. This just gets me hot. All worked up. I hate seeing nastiness in progress, and feeling like I can do nothing about it. Which I can't. I have friends and loved ones that are gay, and so what? I also have friends that lie, have been in prison for different reasons, cheated, stolen, pre-marital sex, myself included in those lists. WHERE are MY protestors? Hmmm? What? I don't get a camp of jackass' standing on my front porch yelling out to my neighbors that I've lied, cheated, stolen, used drugs, been a drunk, lashed out in anger, or that I was pregnant when I got married?! Well why in the hell not? Perhaps because they too have done those things. I don't get it guys. I'm not perfect, nor is anyone else here. Isn't that why we believe the way we do? Isn't that why Jesus died, so that all the things we've done in this life that are not on his preferred members list, could still get in? I don't understand why they feel the need to do this, and why it has to be at their funerals. Funerals are tough enough as it is. Could you imagine if someone you loved passed away, and there was some guy in the front yard yelling about his credit report? Disgusting. I hope these folks catch a clue. That will conclude my tangent for tonight, I apologize for offending anyone.

It's Thursday. Not a very exciting day. I have a case of the blahs today. My front yard is covered with tupperware that's filled w/ mud. Kiddies made mud pies w/ 1/2 of the tupperware I own, and daddy didn't mind. So there it sits, waiting for someone (ME) to clean it up. And guess what. I don't want to. Not even the slightest little bit. It's irritating to look at, but I figure b/c daddy said it was ok, he should clean up after them. Right? In my perfect world, that's what would happen, but in reality, it'll be me. I was driving my son to get a haircut this morning, and something stunk. I made some comment about it, and he goes "oh, that's Avery's fruit" WHAT? What fruit?! "The fruit cup she turned upside down into the cup holder last week". Oh hell. Gross. Gag. I have to clean that up also. My insulated coffee cup fell from the roof of my car (I was still parked, just helping a kid get in) landed on my shoulder, splashed all over the inside of my car, then fell to the ground and broke. So there's that too. It just isn't my day. I want to go get in bed, pull the blankets over my head and cry. That's what kind of day it is. And when I get irritated by small things, dirty things in particular, I start studying every aspect of my house, and get more and more pissed as I spot new nastiness that is all left for me, MOM to clean up. I wish I had the stamina to just not care, and not do it. But I can't stand it, it makes me twitch. I have to work tonight, and when I get home, heaven knows what sort of hella mess I'll walk into to. Can't things just stay clean? Max's friend from school, and his mom are coming over for coffee tomorrow. I can't have a messy house! I spent 8 hours cleaning last Saturday, all damn day, plus the yard, and for what? It just gets messy again. I can't keep up with it, and I'm sick to death of trying. But, here I go again. Trying not to cry about it, and just fix it. BLAH BOO HISS.
But, I weighed in today, so some good news. Another pound for a total of 24 (27 if you count what i did on my own before L.A) and a total of 14 inches lost. That's great. I'm 16 pounds away now... Almost there... And just to think that 8 weeks ago, I was 40 pounds from it, which seemed completely impossible. Only 16 more. I'm going to make it! I can't believe that I'm actually going to make it to my goal. I still can only tell by my clothes. I still see the same sized me in the mirror. I think I need to take some pictures and compare them. I could always tell how big I was by a picture, b/c in pictures, I look H U G E. I've moved down in size from a 14 to an 8. The eight is a bit tight, but 10's are too big. When I reach my goal, I hope to be a comfortable 8, or even maybe a 6. Even though my weight is down, I still have a funny shape.I haven't been at this weight since at least 11th grade, but my shape is SO much different. From all those babies :) I'm not bitching about that, I just think it's interesting.
The next few days are going to be really busy! Tomorrow is that stupid scan thing (yuck), after the scan, hair appt! YES! I've had ghetto hair for far too long now, and am really looking forward to having pretty hair! Going out for a girls night after that! Saturday morning I'm going to go wedding dress shopping w/ Chicken! I hope we find something that she likes, that we can have ready for her wedding which is only like 7 1/2 weeks away! From there its off to the mother/daughter banquet w/ Chicken, my mom, grandma, aunt, cousin, and my girls. This is something that my grandma's church has done all of my life, and I so don't want to go! But it would brake grandma's heart for me to miss it, so f I n e. I can only stay there for just over an hour before I have to pack up the girls, drop the baby off at home, and bring ave to her recital rehearsal in the place where it will be held. This will be her first time getting on to the big stage, and I'm curious how she'll do. I would love to see her do her recital, but I just don't think she will. Saturday's practice should give me a good idea. Seems like there is more going on, but I can't think of it at the moment. It will be hectic anyway. I must be off now. The nasty yard/car/house is waiting for me. A good weekend to all!

Health and Weight Update

Not much time kids :) My son has his first ever program at school tonight!! I can't wait!
I went to see the surgeon today. His office totally creeped me out, but he himself seemed nice. He said that it sounds like my gallbladder, but the ultrasound the hospital did wasn't as clear as he would like it to be. He said that he could go ahead and take my gallbladder now, but w/o knowing for sure, I could show up in a few months totally pissed b/c I was having the same problem. To find out for sure, he wants me to have a HIDA scan done. I'm not exactly sure if that's similar to an ultrasound, or if they put me in a tube. I have to go in on Friday, and they'll inject some stuff thru an IV that will light up my gallbladder and liver, and all of the ducts in there. They should be able to see what's happening in there. If I have a stone, which is what it looked like from the fuzzy pictures, then I have no choice but to remove it. If its not a stone, it could be that I just had an attack. From there we could decide to do more testing to figure out exactly what it was, or wait to see if it happens again, blah blah blah. I'm freaked out by this whole scan process! Eek! I'm not a fan of needles, at all. I cry when I have to get blood drawn. Not b/c it hurts, just b/c I have a phobia that I've had all my life. And IV's are the devil for me! I HATE THEM. And I generally get some asshole nurse who totally mutilates me within minutes. I'm going to go and have the stinking thing done, but I'm not happy about it. I don't want to. At all. Ever. And now, what if it isn't a stone? What if its something else? And do I really want to know what that is? That's the illogical side of my brain that lives on paranoia, but geez. Can you feel me? Yikes. Thanks everyone for your comments, and sharing your experience w/ me. That really helps, and made me feel better. Have any of you had this HIDA scan thing before? If so, please tell me if its a tube thing, and if it hurts. I would rather know. Doctor said that it might hurt, it could cause my gallbladder to spasm. But then he followed it w/ or it might not. Do you think doc's have to take a course of being fabulously vague? I bet they do. Crafty guys.
And I weighed in today. I lost another 3 pounds. Grand total for those in my cheering section- 23! I asked the doc if he thought that is what brought it on, he said sure, that happens often, and good job on the weight loss. Hmmm. So ok. Maybe that's what did it, but I guess it isn't a bad thing, b/c he didn't say anything else about it. We shall see what Friday brings. Of course I won't get results until the following Friday, but at least the hard part will be over! Have a good night!

My midnight hospital adventure.

Wed. night I woke up just before 2am w/ terrible pain! I couldn't figure out what it was. I walked around for awhile, got a glass of water.. Nothing helped, and it continued to get worse. I called the doctor, b/c I started to worry that I was having a heart attack. I could feel it from just under my boobs, down to the bottom of my ribs, and all the way across into my back. My doctor told me I should go to the ER. I woke hubs up and told him something was wrong. He wanted to call his parents to come over and sit w/ the kids, so he could take me. There is a med center right down the street from us, so I told him that I didn't want to wake anyone up, not knowing what it was, and I'll only be down the street, so if it is something serious, I'll call you and you can come down. I hate the idea of waking people up in the middle of the night. I got to the med center, and of course it was closed! Bah! I didn't know they had changed the hours. But, since I was already in the car, I didn't want to drive back home, get hubs up, and wait for his parents, so I had the very bright idea to drive myself. Halfway to the hospital, I realized that was a stupid idea! The pain was so intense I thought I was going to pass out. I just drove faster, praying I'd make it w/o passing out. When I got there, I could hardly walk, hardly talk, all I could do was cry. I have NEVER felt like that before, ever. It hurt more than labor. They didn't want to give me anything for pain until I talked to the 28 different people about where it was, and what my symptoms were, and what I was doing earlier that evening. Why don't they just take notes and pass them on? Seems retarded to leave me dying on the table while they all ask the same stupid questions! The pain was really weird. It'd kind of settle down into a dull ache, and then waves of intense pain would overwhelm me, until I threw up. There is nothing more humiliating than puking into a bucket, crying, and having 3-5 strangers standing around staring at you. After some blood work, and an ultrasound, they found that my gallbladder was to blame. I have an infection, and a stone. After they figured out what was causing it, they gave me some medicine to stop the vomiting, and a pain killer that was 8 times more powerful than morphine. Yikes! But it did the trick. It didn't make me feel floaty or loopy, but just sleepy. I can deal w/ sleepy, just not anything else. I have to see a surgeon on Tuesday to talk about removing it. Since then, I've been fine, no pain or weird stomach issues. Thank God! I don't ever want to experience that again. EVER. I was doing some research online today, and do you know what one of the causes of gallbladder disease is?? Rapid weight loss. Holy shit. That's the only thing that I've done differently the last few months, and I've never had any problems up to this point. I suppose I could fit the others as well, but that's the one that jumped out at me. The others are all F's. Fat, Female, Fertile, and Fourty. I fit the first 3, but not the last. And as for Fat, I'm currently 18 pds overweight, so I don't know if that makes a difference now, or if this is something that happens over time. Not sure on that, but you can bet your ass that I'm going to have a few things to say to my weight loss place. I thought that I've been healthy about this, and smart. They are nutritionists! They should warn you about losing too quickly. Here I am patting myself on the back, but what if I just screwed something up forever? Its very possible that I'll be having one of my organs removed. Irritating! I'll keep y'all updated on what I find out. Have a good weekend!

Just Because...

Just Because I felt like post pictures of my sweet baby J when she was a new born. I was reading
Grody Jo-dee's blog earlier, and she had made a card for her evil MIL w/ her babies feet on it. Her MIL made some rude comments about the babies feet. I love baby feet! Went through some of my pics, and found some to post. Here's to cute baby feet everywhere :) And the other one is just a picture I love. She looks so peaceful in it. I can't believe she's one :(
I'm taking a diet brake today and tomorrow. Don't worry, I'm not going to gorge or over do it. I just want to be able to eat normal for a minute. I'll go back to my plan as of Thursday. Honest. I was going to start the take off 2 day thing tomorrow, but we have friend's coming for dinner. It would suck big ass for me. So I'm putting it off for a day. I feel guilty. Anyway, good night to all!

HEY. Is it possible for a bone in your hand to come out of place w/o much pain? I have a sore spot on the inside of my hand, just under my middle finger. From the surface, it looks fine. But when I rubbed it, I felt something poking out in there! Like an itty bitty bone or something. My hand is fully functional. It just bothers me when I flex my hand out straight. What is that? Or could it be?

That was a weird funeral. The service was really nice, and very touching. The luncheon afterwards is where the weird comes in. They were serving beer, and they had a DJ. People were dancing. I must say, that is the first time I have been to a funeral like that! I was talking to hubs about it, and he said "yeah, it comes off kind of strange, but isn't that how you want to be remembered? When I go, I want my family and friends to celebrate my life, to miss me, sure, but not by being sad." I guess so. It would be nice to be remembered that. Perhaps the family will start a new trend. Have funerals be more like wedding receptions. It was great to see all of my Aunt's and Uncle's, cousin's too. I never see that side of the family, ever. Most of them have never even met my kids. I thing I need to do something to remedy that. Love em or hate em', which I have both, family is family, right? You don't get to pick. I shouldn't say hate them, b/c I don't hate any of them. There are a few that creep me out. Like my Aunt T. She's only a year older than I am, and she's a meth head. Creeps me out every time I see her. Now her teeth are all jacked up. Like Smeegal from Lord of the Rings. They are little jagged things, and black all the way around. ick. I don't get it. It's now physically obvious, you think she get a clue and stop w/ the drugs. I don't for the life of me, understand drug addiction. Her sister is the same. They were no longer allowed to be at my grandpa and step gma's house (she's who died) b/c they were stealing her pain medication. What in the hell is wrong w/ those women?! Their own mother was dying, and suffering, and had terrible pain, but they are so fucked up, the stole from her. Unbelievable! So far gone they have respect for nothing, for no one, only the great buzz. Heaven help them. But, other than the 2 of them, most everyone else is normal. We just kind of fell apart after my grandma died, 7 years ago. There have been no more family get togethers, holidays, anything. That's the other thing, my grandma died 7 years ago, and my grandpa remarried a few years later, my step-gma was my gma's best friend. And now she died. My grandpa has been widowed twice now, in less than a decade. That's hard to take. B (step gma) has been around my entire life. I spent a lot of time with her, and my Aunt T(the meth head), when I was young. T and I were close as kids. B has always been apart of the family. B had T w/ my gma's first husband. I don't know how they managed to pull together a friendship after that, but they did. Needless to say, when grandpa married B, it stirred up a lot of family drama. My Uncle's were pissed! That probably had something to do w/ the family falling apart. anyway, my family history is much too complicated, and gives me a headache. Time to move on.
I weighed in today, and no change. I'm going on a 2 day take off plan that should hopefully get things moving again. I should lose 3-5 pounds in the next few days. Woohooo! Brings me that much closer to my goal. The 2 day plan is not pleasant. I'll basically be starving. I can only eat a very few items, and I have to drink this special juice. But they say that when our weightloss levels out, you need to reboot your metabolism. We'll see how it goes. I weigh in again on Thursday, I'll be sure to let you know.
My beautiful baby is beginning to talk more! She now says 'mommy, dada, baba, baby, uh-oh, bye bye, no, and hi'. I love it. She can even tell Jack(the dog) off now. He was licking her feet, and kind of nipping at them, so I said "NO JACK!" He came back a few minutes later to do it again, and baby j looked down and said "nnnnnnoooooooo!" ha! It was really cute. I love watching them figure new things out! I haven't taken her bottle away yet. I tried, but decided not to. I know, I'm a wuss. I can't help myself. She's my baby. I'll get to it, I just want to wait till she's more comfortable w/ a cup. Almost there.
I had a physical the other day. I'm happy to report that I'm as healthy as an ox. Hopefully soon I won't be the same size as one :) This post is really LONG. And full of rambling. Sorry about that. Have a good day all.

Another Funeral

I went to a funeral on Thursday. She was my dad's girlfriend. I hadn't met her yet, only spoke to her on the phone. But I went, for my dad. It was a nice funeral, as far as those go. My dad was so sad. He'd only been seeing this lady 4-6 months, but had known her all his life. My step-mom died 2 years ago. This is the first lady he's dated since Jan passed. And now she dies. He's all freaked out now, thinking he's cursed or something. Poor guy. THEN, dad called yesterday to tell me that my step-grandma died. We knew that was coming, but I didn't think it would be so soon. She had cancer, everywhere. It started in her ovaries, and when it was found, it was already stage 4. If you know anything about that type of cancer, you know the odds are not good. But it went into remission, and came back in her breasts, then to her liver, lungs, bones, and brain. It was bad. I would not want to leave this world that way. Too much suffering, and that's exactly what she did. She suffered, terribly. It's a blessing that she passed. But now I have another funeral to go to tomorrow. 2 funerals in the same week is a new record for me. Have you ever heard that saying that they go in 3's? Yikes. Now I'll be worried and paranoid for the next few weeks.
Enough of that. I still haven't caught up on all my house work. I'm feeling better about it though. I'm not so stressed about it. I'll get to it, when I have time. This week will be busy too. I have to work 2 nights this week, I have a physical tomorrow morning (joy), weigh in 3 times, dermatologist once for my last treatment(yay!) and once to see the doctor, he's going to check out Ave's skin too. I don't know what he's going to tell me. My skin has cleared up like 85-90%, which is amazing, so I don't know if I'll have to continue coming, or if this is as good as it gets. I'm pleased with the outcome! I have been wearing short sleeve shirts for the last 3 weeks. I hadn't dared for an entire 6 weeks before that.
I weighed in last Thursday, drum roll please...... I'm 1/2 way there! I am down 20 pds. HOLY CRAP! I can't believe it! I'll weigh in again tomorrow or Tuesday, and hopefully, I'll have lost 2 more pounds. I'm having a harder time w/ the diet now. I'm sick of restrictions. I know that its working, but I'm tired of it. I want to eat dammit! No worries though, I'm sticking to it. It's very interesting, this weight loss process. I have noticed changes, and have even had a few days where I looked in the mirror, and thought "hey, not too bad". But for the most part, when I look in the mirror, I still see myself the same. I can tell when I get dressed, b/c nothing fits anymore, it all falls off. Or really tight clothes before, are really baggy now. The snug shirts I own are now comfy baggy shirts. But other than that, me personally, I can't tell by looking at my body. Isn't that weird? Do you think once you have body issues, that you always will? Like I'll always see myself as fat. Even when I'm not anymore. Its rare to hear someone talk about how pleased they are w/ their bodies. Especially women. There is always something that could be smaller, or a little more up top. What is that all about? I wonder if I could ever be completely satisfied w/ how I look, or anyone for that matter.
Anyway, time for me to shove off. I need to go pick up my dad, and head to the funeral home. I hate that part. It skeeves me out to look at dead people. Worse when they've been sick, and no longer look like you remember them. When hubs grandpa died, he looked the same, just like he was sleeping. I touched his forehead for some odd reason. DON'T ever do that. It's terrible and disgusting. I was sure I was going to have nightmares for months. I didn't like it before that experience, but since then, my palms get sweaty just thinking about having to go to one of those places. When I die, I think I'm going to request a closed casket. I don't want to freak any of my loved ones out.

I need a pep talk.

I am in need of a pep talk. I just can't seem to accomplish anything. UGH! My house is a big fat messy pit, my calendar is all out of order, and my son's homework is a week late. I need to pull it together! If my girlfriend hadn't called today, I would have completely missed dance pictures this week. Stupid recital anyway. Oh, and there isn't any clean laundry in the house either! WHAT is wrong with me?? I need help.
Hubs was home sick yesterday w/ a stomach bug, Avery had it the night before. Pretty minor, but still. I was coming down w/ it last night, but thankfully, I kicked it before it put me out. I haven't made dinner at all this week yet. Geez. Falling apart over here.
Are any of you digital nerds? I need help in that area too. I have dnld all my pictures from my camera to my computer. I tried to upload them to a picture place online, and they wouldn't except most of them. The message said that they would be too grainy or unclear if developed. I made sure they were all in jpeg format- I don't know how to fix it. My megapixels are set right, so there is no reason that I can come up with why they aren't going through. My baby's entire first year is on my computer. I WANT THOSE pictures. What do I do? How do I find out what's wrong and fix it?
We had to make Jack (my dog) throw up last night. He got into one of the kids Easter baskets. Poor puppy. Chocolate can kill them! It's very bad for them. I called the after hours vet, and they told us to give him 1 TBSP peroxide every 1/2 hr till he threw up. Peroxide? Eww. I couldn't believe that. Gross. By the 2nd TBSP, poor guy yaked. I'm throwing all of the candy OUT! I'm sick of it lying around here, my kids begging for it, and my dog dying for it. Out w/ the candy. All of it!
I have to pick kids up from school in an hour and a half. I've accomplished nothing. I haven't even showered yet. Where's that pep talk? Anyone??

P I C T U R E S

Here are a few for you :) I have lots to blog about, but no time for now. Hope to soon!

The curse of the camera.

I took pictures this weekend, w/ my grandma's camera. Worked wonderfully. Went to upload them today, and the damn batteries died!!!!!!!!!! I put new ones in, and they drained right away. Piss. That's what's been happening with my own camera, and why I didn't use it. Now this one. Blasted cameras. So sorry, no pictures for you, yet.
The birthday party was great! And I didn't shed a tear, can you believe it? I couldn't. She had a great time, and looked beautiful w/ cake up her nose :) I had a better turn out than I was expecting! It was wonderful.
Saturday we took the kids to an Easter Egg hunt, and they had a blast. Hung out w/ the inlaws Saturday night. Hubs and the kids camped out in the backyard that night too. The kids loved it!
We had a nice Easter too. We spent time w/ my side of the family all afternoon, went home and took a nap. Ahh. I love naps. Hubs and I watched Walk the Line last night, and we really liked it.
I finally finished cleaning out my storage room. What a pain in the ass. Now I have the undesirable task of moving all kid toys from the rest of our house, into that room. They have so much stuff! I need to get rid of a ton. I hope to accomplish that by the end of the day today. I have to go out /w my mom and grandma tonight. I generally look forward to such an outing, but I don't feel like it tonight. My mom's been on my nerves. Another day for that.
Avery threw up in her bed last night. ICK. I think it was due to the amount of junk she ate yesterday. So far today, no problem. I've been hanging out at home all day though, just in case. Keep your fingers crossed for me! Have a good day.

Weigh In

Hello. Today is my baby's 1rst birthday. (sniff sniff). I can't believe its been a year. I don't know what it is about that 1rst birthday, but it makes me cry. A lot. More than the other ones, even though I cry on those too. It seems like the end of babyhood. I know its not, but there's just something about that milestone. She's not walking yet (yay!), and not even attempting to take steps (yay again). She walks along the furniture, and she can stand on her own w/o holding on to anything, so I suppose its a only a matter of time. But I love it! Both my older two were walking by their first birthday. When my older kids turned 1, I just packed up the bottles, that was it. But, I don't want to take the bottle away yet, not with Jade. I wonder if its b/c I want to keep her a baby? I know that it's very possible I'll have another baby in a few years, but for some reason, seems like I'm having a hard time letting go. I'm going to take my time w/ the bottle, so there! I'm excited for her party tonight! Some of my girlfriends can make it now! I'm feeling much better about it. I'm running around like a chicken w/ my head cut off, but I'll get it done.
So, the weigh in. Drum roll please........ 3 more pounds! That brings my grand total to 18 pounds bitches! WOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOO. I went shopping last night for new jeans, being that all the ones I currently own no longer fit. I grabbed a pair of the rack in a size I never thought would fit, and they DID!!! I haven't been in that size since my junior year of high school. I'm nearly 1/2 way there. I can't believe how easy this has really been. Yeah, it gets hard sometimes, but overall, not too bad. I'm so excited! I've been in a bit of a slump this week, not being as disciplined as I should. And the new jeans and the weigh in today, really helped. I'm back on a mission! I should really start exercising... I hate exercise. The only form I enjoy is swimming(too cold yet), and rollerblading. The weather has been nice enough for rollerblading, but it's hard to find a time I can go, w/o all 3 of my kids. I have a jogging stroller I can put the baby in, and the other 2 ride bikes, but I'm constantly having to stop. I just need to pencil in time, like I would for a night out or something. I hope things continue to progress w/ exercise. I keep having these fears that I'm just going to stop losing, or that it will slow down to a crawl, and I'll become discouraged. Keep on... We shall see. Pictures will be up over the weekend!

The Basement Dweller

I forgot to mention that my cousin moved in w/ her baby. She moved in last weekend. She lived her a few years ago, before the new baby for nearly a year. We had some issues, but nothing major. We called her basement dweller, or just dweller. So far so good. I'm trying to re-situate my house. Another person and another baby add a whole bunch of junk! She's only going to be her a month(I hope). That was our agreement anyway. We'll see what plays out.
I got a lot accomplished yesterday. We have two storage rooms in our basement, neither of which have any sort of organization. Random furniture, boxes of old stuff that we never got around to donating, and any other misc. item we don't know what to do with. I tore into one yesterday, and is 3/4 of the way finished. I have to get back in there today and put it back to rights, hopefully with enough room left for the rest of the crap in the other one. I tackled the yard today, and our pool area. That's all set. Now if I could just finish the basement, and get a move on in the rest of the house. Company's coming you know. Time for a good scrubbing! I also need to go to the dermatologist today, and the grocery store, oh, and pick kids up from school. I'll see how far I get today, and I hope I won't have much to do tomorrow. I hate rushing around! Makes me grumpy. I'd rather work like a dog today rather than stress tomorrow. Hubs will be home late tonight :( I was hoping for some help. At least I got the yard work done, and the pool area cleaned up. It's so nice outside today! Sunny and 70. Ahhh. I love days like this. I can't wait for summer to get here! Have a good day all.

Some Good and Bad

The weeked went by really fast! Friday I went shopping with Chicken to look for a dress for me. I'm the only one standing up for her. She decided to leave it up to me, color and all, but I thought it'd be a good idea to go see what was out there, and get her input. We decided on a green, silk halter style dress. I don't really know how to describe the color. I think it's like emerald green, but a shade lighter, and very bright. Its really pretty. I bought a size that fits now, but its a bit tight around my ribs. The way the dress falls, it won't matter if I lose 15 more pds before the wedding. It should fit better around my ribs, and you can't see the rest of my body underneath that section anyway. If anything, I might have to have it taken in a bit around the boob/rib area, but I think it will work out great. The color will look great w/ the outside setting. I can't wait! On Friday night, I went shopping with my brother, which is Chicken's groom to be. We went all over looking for the perfect ring. We found it! Last night, he asked our family, and her family to meet up at their house, before Chicken got home from work. I'll let her tell you about the rest. I'm sure she'll post about it. Check her blog later today. It was great! I am so excited about this wedding. I hope the time passes quickly b/w now and then!
And now, for the bad.... I'm feeling sorry for myself today. I do that on occasion. My Jade is turning 1 on Friday. Birthdays are a big deal to me. Especially first birthdays. We have a party planned for Friday night, but most of my friends can't make it. Only one of my good girlfriends can come, and even she can only stay for a little bit. I'm glad she's making the effort to come, and I'm thankful for it. I don't expect the world to drop what they're doing, but it hurts my feelings that only one can spare time for me, and my baby. My parents and grandparents are coming. That will have to be enough. It just bums me out. I have some very close friends, and I try my best to make it to their family things, parties, baptisms, etc. But it isn't something that's returned. And my dad stood me up yesterday. He called and gave me some lame excuse. I'm just feeling really unimportant today, that my feelings don't matter. That neither me nor my kids are important to the people that are important to me.

Weigh In Update

I had to weigh in this morning, and they also did my measurements. I took them myself the other day, and I thought it was nearly 10 inches that I had lost, but it is only 8 1/2 inches, but still great! I'm down 15 pds. Woohooo! I didn't think that it would go this quickly, and I'm super excited about it!
My kids are driving me nuts today. I can't get more than 3 minutes of peace. Every 3 minutes one of them is demanding something, or crying about nonsense. UGH. I've been trying to clean up, and its like they go right behind me going 'oh. I see mom just cleaned. Maybe I should just go and fuck it up again. I bet she'd love it!' BAH. I've been so looking foward to spring break, but I must say, I'm ready for them to go back to school now. Enough. They've been picking on each other, and complaining about EVERYTHING. I think I'm going to kick them outside for the rest of the afternoon. Sounds like a fantastic idea to me!

My New Love :)

I have a new love in my life. His name is Jack, and he's a 10 week old black lab puppy!!! I've always loved dogs, and have had them all of my life, up until I got married. Hubs is not a dog fan. It's not that he doesn't like dogs, more so that he doesn't like dog poop, or chewed up shoes. When we were first married, we had a tiny little house, with no back yard. He told me that when we got a bigger house, with a fenced in back yard, we could get our dog. We've lived here 5 years now. I went to the pet store to see a friend (they own the store), I had no intention of puppy shopping. I asked to see the puppies, just b/c I like them. When they brought Jack out, my heart stopped. I fell helplessly in love. I HAD to have him. Normally, dogs don't have that effect on me. I don't fall in love with just any cute pup. He reminded me of my Molly. Molly was my dog that I had growing up. She was a beautiful Newfoundland. Huge dog, but very smart, and huge heart to go along with her body. She ended up getting bone cancer. We kept her on medication for 4 months or so, but then she all of a sudden lost a bunch of weight. I knew it was her time, but I had a really difficult time making the decision to put her down. I brought her to the vet myself, and laid with her on the floor while they gave her the injection. I stayed there until her last breath, and then for another 45 minutes, weeping hopelessly. I was broken up over it. I cried for nearly a week. I hadn't met a dog yet that made me feel anywhere close to the connection I had with Molly, until I laid eyes on Jack. That dog was meant to be mine. I had a hard time convincing hubs, but he was out voted. The kids fell for Jack to. I've been really happy! I don't enjoy potty training dogs, but its going ok. I'll be glad when this part is over. All dogs are pretty dumb for the first year. Hubs is warming up to him as well. I caught him laying on the floor with Jack, rubbing his belly.
What else is new? I've lost 13 pds now, and nearly 10 inches!!! All of my clothes are loose now. The biggest change I've noticed is my boobs! They've really shrunk! Which isn't a problem, I had some biggins! Now I'm back to my very nice high school bra size. If they shrink anymore, I might get a little worried. Now how 'bout that ass? That could really use some shrinking!
The baby has another new word! She now says 'bye bye'. Aww. Big girl. And she had her first ever grilled cheese sandwich! She loved it. She's been getting brave as well. Now when she pulls herself up, she lets go and just stands there, all by herself. Thank goodness she's not trying to walk yet! I'd like her to wait a bit longer.
Our taxes finally went through. I called social security again, and verified everyone's information. When I found everything was correct there, I called the IRS and verified all there. They too said that all of our info was correct. Then called back our tax lady, and she said she would try again. They went through! Turns out that it was the tax lady's fault all along. She forgot one of the letters in our baby's last name. DUH! That was it? All this time, and all of the phone calls I made to her and everyone else verifying all this information! One letter in our last name, and she's been doing our taxes for 7 years. UGH. Pissed me off. Why wouldn't she check the simple stuff right away? I don't care anymore, I'm just glad that our large lump sum of money will be here this week! Finally!
I'm off to the hospital now. My s-I-l just had a baby. I want to meet my spanking new niece. She was 8pds 12oz and 21 1/2 inches. Her labor started at 10:30 pm, and the baby was born at 2. Nice and short labor and delivery. All her babies were born like that. Pain med free to. She's a brave soul. Have a good day all!