Broken Kitty :(

My poor sad kitty is broken. Mike is my cat, he's my baby. He's a huge black cat. He's kind of skittish, and doesn't really like anyone but me. He's more like a dog than a cat. He understands me, and comes when I call him. Now he's broken...
Avery was having a trantrum b/c she didn't want a nap. She has this awful habit of slamming her door when she angry. Poor Mike didn't see it coming. He didn't jump out of the way quite fast enough. She caught the tip of his tail in the door. I didn't realize at first that she got him. I thought he moved fast enough. A short while later, I was going thru the kitchen, and I saw blood on the floor. When I looked by Avery's door, I saw cat hair, and more blood. Mike was in hiding, I couldn't find him. I started to panic a bit. I finally found him hiding under Max's bed, pissed off and bleeding. Oh man, it was gross. I felt terrible for my cat, and really angry w/ my daughter. I called the vet, and they said to bring him in.
When Avery got up, I told her what had happened. She felt bad, she didn't know Mike was there. I tried to explain to her how serious it was, and could have been. I wanted her to get it. Hubs and I weren't sure what sort of consequence to give her, but we decided on her coming to the animal hospital w/ me and Mike, to talk to the Vet. The vet explained that they would have to cut his tail down a few inches, stich it up, and wrap it. She did a good job explaining it so Avery understood that Mike was going to have to be given shots, lose part of his tail, and wouldn't feel very good for a few weeks. He had to spend the night w/ the vet. Avery felt awful, and has been very careful about shutting doors. I hope it keeps up.
We picked Mike up this morning, and its very sad :( He still has a good length of tail, but even still. He's gone into hiding. When he decides to come out, I'll snap a picture for you. Sad kitty.
What a week! Can't it get much crazier around here?!? My kids are being good today, thank God! The past few days I could have thrown them off a roof w/o guilt! Tonight we are having our regular poker game, and tomorrow we are having a New Year's party. I think we'll have somewhere b/w 15-30... Not sure exactly how many, but I'm looking fwd to it. Everyone is bringing their own drinks and a munchie, and we are ordering pizza, so there is very little work for me to do. Woohoo! Happy New Year!!

Rough night!

I wasn't feeling very good last night. I have some sort of sinus issue that is causing awful headaches. Hubs was fantastic, and told me I should just go to bed, get some rest. Lovely. It was 7:30. I couldn't wait to get in bed. I climbed in my nice comfy, cushy, bed, in that one spot. You know the one. You generally can't find it till 5 minutes before you have to get up. Ahh, yes. So cozy, so quiet... peaceful. And then, 20 minutes later.... I was woken up by my daughter screaming, the baby crying, and things falling. I was SUPER pissed. Hubs was suppose to have this- What in the HELL is going on out here? I found the baby on the floor in the hallway, crying her poor sad baby eyes out, and Hubs was in the bathroom w/ Ave trying to get her in the tub. She was crying, yelling that she didn't want a bath, and pushing bottles of shampoo of the tub on to the floor. Hubs was very calm, and she was being a dick. I was in a sleep crazed haze- not quite awake yet, but totally pissed. I told hubs I'd handle this and take the baby, oh, and I hear Max crying about something as well. I went and got a wooden spoon, told Ave to be quiet or she was going to be in trouble (hence the spoon). I believe I also uttered an absolutely terrible phrase such as "knock it off, or I'm going to beat ya". Geez. I can't figure out where the mom of the year trophy is. My poor kids. I can't not believe some of the crap that flies out of my mouth when I've lost my mind. I don't think she heard it, I hope she didn't! Rotten mommy. After Ave's bath, it was Max's turn. He's usually good about it, but not last night. Cry cry cry, complain complain complain. Meanwhile, baby is crying, won't take a bottle from Hubs. I'm suppose to be sleeping right now, getting rid of this headache, which is only get worse, and I'm getting more and more short of temper. Get Max out of the tub, take the baby, give her the bottle. And of course, she takes it just fine from me. Okay, now older kids have brushed teeth, and hubs is getting them into bed. and once again, they are crying. They want MOMMY to tuck them in. Little bastards. I'll do it. Go into Avery's room first, and step on a hard plastic doll pacifier. It jammed ever NOT so pleasantly into the arch of my barefoot. I grunt to cover up my "sonofabitch", and promtly throw it. Still holding it together. BARELY. Avery has a tent on top of her bed, so to tuck her in, you have to lean into the tent. I lean in and WHAM! She HITS ME IN THE FUCKING HEAD W/ A PLASTIC DOLL!!!!! Holy shit motherfucker, I am suppose to be in my mothering fucking bed right now and what in the hell is wrong w/ these children?! K, I didn't say any of that, but it went through my head. OH MY GOSH, I can't handle this anymore, hubs please take over, I'm getting out of here. Hubs tried to give me a hug, I was close to tears, but I couldn't let him, b/c I was in rip off your fucking head mode. I just stepped out, and then Ave is crying again, b/c she hurt mommy. She didn't mean to, she just meant to throw it b/c she was mad about going to bed, but I leaned in just at the right moment. Good grief. What a night. After I cooled off, I went and kissed Avery, and told her I was ok, and please don't throw your dolls. I know it was an accident, it's ok. After all that nonsense, I finally climbed back into bed, an hour and 15 minutes later. Hubs felt bad. He didn't know why the kids were terrible, and was sorry that they woke me up, but thanks for helping me... Try to go to bed early, and the natives go wild.... That's what we mothers get.

Christmas Pictures!

These pictures are GREAT. I never know what order fucking blogger will put them in- so, as you can see, my beautiful baby was TERRIFIED of chicken dance elmo. I almost peed my pants when I saw the pics! And my daughter, beautiful girl. Her twisty buns had fallen out due to the vigorous present opening. I'd love to show you my son, but after the darth vader voice changer helmet, he just wouldn't take it off. Its a cool toy. You can change your own voice, or you can push a button to get Darth breathing, and some phrases. Fantastic present Chicken :)

Dammit!

I got 1/2 through this very descriptive post of my holidays and events, and then I fucking lost it. Damn you blogger! GEEZ. So now I'm just going to do the short version. I can't believe its been a week since I've posted. It has been crazy busy. Christmas Eve we spent w/ some friends roasting hot dogs in the fireplace, having a few drinks, and everybody brought a dish to pass. It was a really nice way to spend the evening. The weather has been super mild which is retarded. But then again, this is Michigan. Our weather is always bananas. We had ass loads of snow all the way up to Christmas, and then, it all melted! Gone. Christmas is the only acceptable day to have snow. I can deal w/ it then, and even enjoy it. The worst is that I know it will be back till at least March. All that, and no snow for Christmas. Unreal.
Christmas day was fantastic. We went light on gifts this year, but even still, couldn't have been better. I love watching my kids tear open presents, and seeing their eyes light up. We spent the day w/ family, and had an awesome time. Good food, and good company too. I love love love it that Chicken gets to be a part of that as well. Its lovely to have your partner in crime present at all family functions. She and my bro better get married soon. I want more nieces and nephews! My kids were spoiled, and I also got some fab things. I love Christmas, but next year, I'm going to do less! I want to be able to thoroughly enjoy the holidays, rather than lose my hair over what has to be made for which event, and stay up till all hours of the night wrapping gifts. One thing I'd like to do again- I made my brother a scrap book filled w/ pictures of us together when we were little. He loved it. I've never done anything like that before, but it was fun to make, and he really appreciated it. Made giving the gift that much nicer. I would like to spend more time thinking of thoughtful gifts, and MUCH less time cooking and cleaning.
The girls are finally better! No more coughing or sickness of any sort. My son must have the immune system of an Ox, b/c he never got it at all. He was sniffling and kind of coughing for a day, so I kept him home, but by the next day, he was much better!
Monday we tried to find places for all of our loot, and clean up. I'm continually amazed but how my house can go from shining to dump in a very little time frame. I still haven't gotten it all back to normal! Hope I can do more tomorrow. I would like a clean house again!
Today I had an extra kid all day. My good friends had a baby today! She's beautiful. She has more hair than I think I've EVER seen on an infant. Cutie. I had their son all day. He's a really good boy, so no problem there. It just made it kind of a crazy day w/ 4 small kids in the house.
I hope all your holidays were the best. I promise to post regularly now!!!

Madness!

I have been so busy! The weekend w/ hubs family at the hotel was fun. The kids had a ball, and so did most of the grown ups. I didn't really get to participate in any of the card games or board games, but I was content. I caught up on sleep for sure. Hubs took ave to the doc on Friday before we left. The doc gave her some steroids also, and since then, she's been much better. I thought that Jade was better, but she has a fever today. Her first fever ever, and its 102.4! Poor baby. My kids have been healthy all year, up till now. And of course, happens to be the week before Christmas. I hope everything is gone by this weekend. It would really suck to have to stay home w/ sick kids and miss out on all of our family/friend gatherings.
We got home from the hotel on Sunday afternoon, and went directly to bowling. I'm getting better!! I think we started a few months ago(we play every other Sunday, I think Sunday was my 5th game) and I'm now getting 20 - 30 pins more per game. That's pretty good, at least I think so. From bowling, I went shopping for Avery's birthday. We had her birthday party on Monday night. I can't believe she's 4! I cry every time my kids have a birthday. I'm so proud of them, its exciting to watch them grow and change. At the same time, it makes me sad that they are becoming big kids. These years go by so fast! Too fast. Avery had a great birthday. I'll try to post pics of it later this week.
Tuesday I went to school w/ Ave for her Christmas party. I coordinated it this year, and it went well. There are 8 little girls in her class, so cute! At recess time, we went down to the gym so they could run off some steam. All of them immediately started running in a big circle, screaming. It looked like fun, so I joined them. In the corner of the gym, there was a HUGE pile of those big squishy mats, and I belly flopped on them. The other parents that were there looked at me as if I had lost my damn mind. Haha! They must not run around w/ their kids acting like retards. I bet they don't play karate ninjas either. lol. Losers :) After school, a friend came home w/Ave, and I hung out w/ her mom. Good times. Last night I cleaned a house. Worked my ass off, and I'm paying for it today. The rest of this week was as busy as the first half. Bah! I will post more when I have more time!

HNT- Late

Hi all! Much to tell, but not nearly enough time. I got a hair cut today. My hair used to be just past the middle of my back and no bangs- check it out now.


















The top left is an AWFUL picture. I don't take good pictures! Bah! But I wanted you to see the front. You may not be able to see the side swiping bangs, but they are there- look closely. It's much shorter than it used to be. The bottom left is a nothing picture, but I thought my color looked good :) And the last one is a very short pony.

We are headed to Toledo tomarrow w/ 3 sick kids. Yep, all three of em. Shoot! Max isn't as bad as the girls, he's just starting to cough and sneeze, but I hear it coming. I'm seeing a pattern here. Ave came down w/ a fever tonight of 101... And the baby's ok, just coughing still.

I have to make 2 doz cupcakes, 4 doz cookies, a 7 layer dip, and white chili, all tonight. Piss. I'll be up forever. I need to clean my house too. Nothing is worse than coming home from a weekend trip or vacation to a messy house. Have a great weekend, and HNT!

oh NO

Crap. Ave came down w/ croup last night. My doc said that older kids don't usually get it. Of course MY kids would. Poor girl. She woke up in a coughing fit last night. As soon as she started coughing, I knew. I'm keeping her home from school today, but I hope she gets better faster than the baby did. Her birthday party is Thursday night, we could always reschedule, but that would devastate her. She's having a joint bday w/ one of the other girls from her preschool class. The party on Thursday is for all the kids in her class. Friday, we're leaving for Ohio for the weekend to celebrate Christmas w/ hubs family. It would SO suck to be stuck in a hotel room w/ a sick kid. I don't think I would go if she were still feeling bad. I hope that doesn't happen. I suppose its better she's sick this week, rather than the next. And at least both girls were not sick the same week. I got a brake in between. Nice.
I feel better today, not so stressed or cranky. Hubs made me feel better. I need to keep my attitude in check. I was being impatient and ornery w/ my family, for no other reason than my mood. That's terrible!
I have to work tonight! Woohoo. I haven't worked in a month at least, and I'm looking forward to it. I'm going to ask them about regular hours after the first of the year. I need to work now. Money is tight. If they could give me 2 nights during the week, and every other weekend, that'd be perfect. They are super flexible, so I could wait to go in after hubs got home. I love my job :) They are good to me there. I just hope they can fit regular hours in for me.

Busy Busy Funk Funk

The weekend was busy! I knew it would be, but geez, it kicked my ass. I was so tired last night. I couldn't keep my eyes open, nor could I be patient w/ my family. My fault for stacking up too much over the weekend.

Saturday was unreal. Kids had to be to church at 9am for practice. Right after that, we went to an extended family Christmas party. My hubs has a HUGE family. This party is w/ all of his Aunts, Uncles, and cousins. I don't know any of their names, and I don't like to go, but hubs parents would be upset if we didn't make it, so we go. I try to avoid awkward situations by never speaking to anyway w/ their name. Ha! Next up was the memorial service for Chicken's grandpa. That was rough. I didn't know him well, but it was hard to see my friend so tore up. Her family has a different religious background than mine, so the service was very different for me. All funerals are sad, but somehow, this one seemed worse. From the memorial service, I went to a birthday party. From the birthday party, I went to a poker game, and lost. Sucked.

Sunday we had to be at church at 9, for the kids Christmas pageant. My son was a shepard, and my daughter a sheep. lol. It was cute. We went to breakfast w/ my family afterward. And THEN, we went to see the Trans-Siberian Orchestra! That was an awesome show. I had never been, and I hadn't really heard of them either. They played for almost 3 hours, and were very high energy. The light show was like nothing I've ever seen, and they had some sweet fire stuff too. It was heavy metal-ish Christmas music. If you have a chance to see this group, you should! I think hubs and I will go again next year. It was very cool, and Blue approved. It was a good weekend.

That being said, I'm in a funk. Overwhelmed w/ Christmas stuff, my daughters fast approaching birthday, housework, bills, and hubs. I'm feeling bad. There is so much going on, and I can't figure out how to manage everything, pay for it all, or keep up with it. I want to cut myself out from the rest of the world for a few days, hide, and sleep. Nothing is all that bad, but I can't shake the emotional coaster I'm riding. I want to get off and level out. It will all come together soon, it always does. But just knowing that doesn't comfort me much... Looking bleak.

Snow Day!

When I was in school, I LIVED for snow days. There was nothing better than laying in bed, listening to the radio, waiting for your school to come up. And when it did... ahhhh.. Roll back over, and fall into the best sleep of your life. My kids have a snow day today! I don't have to bring anyone anywhere!! And, its Friday. Western Michigan had between 6 and 10 inches of snow last night. 277 schools are closed in West MI today. Check it out.

That's a whole lotta snow. My kids are going to have a blast going down the slide later. It gets super slippery when they have on snow pants.

Speaking of kids, my baby is doing a little bit better. She's been sleeping at night, most of the time, and seems to be in better spirits. She doesn't want to nurse though. She hasn't gotten her appitight (I don't know how to sp that) back yet.

I went out w/ my friend M last night. We had a great time. I've been needing to get away from my kids, and hubs. Sometimes you just need a break, you know. We went out for dinner, and had a super delicious coffee drink. mmmmm. Our usual routine when we go out is dinner, and a movie. The dinner is always good, the movie, always crap. We have a knack for picking bad movies. Last night, however, we finally saw a good one. We saw Pride and prejudice. It was cute. Its a chick flick, and some of the dialect is hard to catch, but it was good. After the movie, we had I c e c r e a M. Perfect night out. I feel so refreshed today. I told M last night, that I'd prly be spending most of today cleaning up the damage done to my house when we were out. When I go out, hubs and kids have a party, and trash the place. But I was so glad to be out, I didn't care. When I got home last night, the house was clean! Like cleaner than I left it. My hubs is the sexiest bitch alive. I love that man.

We have a lot going on this weekend! Poker tonight. A memorial service for Chicken's papa :(, a bday party, another poker game, my kids Christmas pageant at church, a Christmas party, and tickets to see the Trans Siberian Orchestra. I have NO idea how we are going to pull that off, but should make for some interesting blogging on Monday. Have a great weekend blogland :)

Holy Croup Batman!

Sure enough, tis croup. The doc gave her a shot of steroids to reduce the swelling in her vocal chords, or wind pipe, whatever it is that swells up w/ croup. I was somewhat surprised that she really does have it. After hearing her cough this morning, I was really starting to doubt that she had it. The doc said that croup really only bothers them when they are laying down. So after they get up from bed, they can seem fine, until they lay down again. I'm glad I went. She'll be really contagious for the next 3 days. Not for older kids, but mostly just to other babies. I hope it doesn't turn into a serious condition and passes quickly.

I was talking about the baby to my fried Talula, about maybe it being croup, and my guilt about weaning. Anyway, she kept telling me that I was overly paranoid. Which I am, but the way she said it sounded more like she was insulting me. Kind of like the same tone as "you're a bitch, a stupid one" but really flat- bothered me. And you can't exactly say to one of your girlfriends "don't use that TONE w/ me" lol. I love her to pieces, but sometimes I wonder what her motivation is when she says certain things to me. Like, is she trying to rile me up here, insult me, or support me. Hard to tell some days. Weird. Ever have that?

Now what?

The baby didn't sleep too good last night. She woke up a few different times during the night, and was up for the day at 530am. But now, her cough sounds less like a bark, and more like a just a wet cough. Do I still take her to the doc? I'm glad she's doing better, and I don't really want to take her in to hear the standard "She'll be fine. Nothing we can do. Just let it run its course." Bah. But if I don't take her, and it gets worse tonight.... Prly better just to go. Her appt is at 11:15 today. I'll update after her appt.

Poor baby

Its midnight. I was planning on being in bed and asleep 2 hours ago. My baby is sick! She's had a stuffy nose here and there, but now, I think she has kroop, or croop? The cough that sounds like a barking seal. Crap. Its so sad. She is so tired, but when she coughs, it must hurt or something, and she cries, wakes up. I called the after hours Dr. to see what I can do. I will NOT go to the ER, unless she's really bad, and thankfully, they didn't tell me to. Phew. They said to give her cough medicine, steam up the bathroom and sit there w/ her for 20 min, and put a vaporizor in her room. They said I could try warm apple juice too. I guess that's suppose to help loosen up the mucus in her chest. They gave me all the warning signs, and told me I should bunk w/ her for a few nights to keep an ear on her breathing. Her breathing isn't bad. You can hear a little something, but nothing terrible. I'm nervous! I don't think I'll be doing much sleeping tonight. Paranoid as I am and all. I should have the hang of this, 3 kids deep. But no, still terrified the instant one of my babies are sick :(

I'm feeling bad. I'm down to nursing only 3 times a day, and NOW my baby comes up sick. Coincidence? I don't think so. Makes me feel like crap. I let her down. I started slacking off on taking care of myself which led me to the conclusion it would be best if I started to wean her. Why didn't I just pick up the slack, and take better care of myself for her? Because I'm rotten. Bad mom. Makes me cry. So now I want to nurse more. I need to go pick up some fenugreek, and try to increase my milk supply, which is a total pain in the ass. Once it goes down, at least for me, its so HARD to get it back to full power. I'm going to bring her in to the doc tomorrow. Maybe he will have some suggestions for me. Pray for my baby, and my other kids, so they don't pick it up!

The weekend was nice. I didn't win in the main poker game, but I did win a side game. I stayed up WAY too late. I was so very tired Saturday. I did end up having to rush around, which sucked, but I pulled it off. The shower came together nicely. Hubs was pooped too. We put a movie in after the kids went to bed, and passed out on the couch. Last night was our bowling night. I'm still not a good bowler, but I feel like I've kind of figured something out. Now I just need to make it better.

I've discovered that if I get up an hour and a half early each morning, and don't sit all day long, I can almost stay on top of things around here. I'm going to try it for a few days. I'm so sick of having mess everywhere. I lost it Saturday night w/ my kids. My house was clean, I had been busting my ass all day to keep it that way. Ave was munching on some crackers, and managed to spread them all over the kitchen/dining room. No problem. Pick it up. Then she and Max did some craft project w/ Styrofoam. Again, all over. Still no problem, pick it up. Then my naughty girl shredded up paper EVERYWHERE. Damn! Starting to get irritated, but whatever, clean it up. Then my daughter laid some crayons on the table, and cut them up into tiny tiny pieces w/ a plastic knife. Then there were crayon shreds, and crayon ALL OVER my table and counters. CURSE AND SWEAR! I was pissed. All of this happened in less than an hour. 4-fucking times, in a row! Grr! I lost my temper, yelled, cried. It is so frustrating to try and keep on top of my 3 kids, housework, laundry, cooking, and hubs. Hubs was home Saturday night, but he doesn't pay attention to that sort of thing. If I ask him to take care of something, he will, but he's not the kind of guy to see a mess and think to pick it up. And I refuse to not let my kids be kids. I could follow them around w/ a trash can and a whip, but no. I'm not that kind of mom. They are told to pick up after themselves, but they're little still, so I don't expect perfection. They get the bigger pieces, and can put things back to where they belong. But they're cyclones. They pull out something, start to play with it, the other one gets bored pulls out something else, then they come w/ an idea to play something together, but a different game/item in a completely different room within minutes. Its exhausting. And on top of being exhausting. I don't flippn feel like it. Even when I don't feel like it, clutter drives me nuts. I will eventually find a happy medium, I hope :)

P.S. HELLO LURKER... WHO ARE YOU? YOU DO A GOOGLE SEARCH FOR MY BLOG TWICE A WEEK OR SO AND NEVER COMMENT. WHO ARE YOU AND WHY ARE YOU LOOKING FOR ME????????

Its Friday already! It's been a quick week. Went to hubs work Christmas party last night, it was nice. The food was awesome. Hubs got a bonus (cha-ching), and I got a 25$ gift card to the mall. Its so nice that his company does that for the wives, every year. He works for a good company.

I've got millions of things to do, and not much time to do them! Or I should say I don't want to make time for them. It would be nice if things would take care of themselves. A magic lamp would come handy :) I have a whole house to clean, laundry and grocery shopping to accomplish today. I have to bake a cake too. We play poker on Friday nights, so there's that. I'm having a baby shower at my house tomorrow for my friend. I want to make sure I get as much done for tomorrow as I can today. There's nothing I despise more than rushing around in the morning. Seems like I have something to do tomorrow night... but I can't remember. And Sunday is our bowling league.

It's begun. I love the holidays, but I start to get frazzled this time of year. Lots of things to do, gifts to buy, parties to go to. I need to put up the Christmas tree, and decorations, and get our the 50 or so Christmas cards we send out. I always think that the next holiday season will not be so busy. But indeed, it always is. I would rather be snuggling w/ hubs and the kids. Some year, I'm going to do it. I'm going disconnect the phone from Dec 1 thru Jan 2 :) Wouldn't that be great?? No million phone calls, no million errands, or 4 doz Christmas cookies... I can dream. I'd prly hate it after a week though. As much as the busy bothers me, I love seeing our friends and family. I love cooking. Christmas is my most favorite day of the year. But there really is a lot of hullabaloo. Maybe I can carve out a few days here and there to play w/ my family and ignore the world :) I think I will. Enjoy the weekend!

It's not as bad as I thought.

I had my daughter evaluated today by my friend, who is an OT. That's what she(OT) does all day. She works w/ kids w/ emotional/behavioral problem, add, adhd, downsyndrom, autism, and many other disabilities. B/C of my daughters temper issues as of late, I've been concerned. Not only concerned, but I've felt like I've been doing something wrong, or failing my little girl. I always thought that bad parenting = rotten kids. I've been finding out that isn't always true, at all. OT had some GREAT ideas for me. One of them is the 'first and then' thing. She said to start using it in play, like "first we are going to climb the ladder, so THEN we can jump into pillows!" so then next time I'm having Ave is having a fit about cleaning her room, or a time out I can say "I know you don't want to, what would you like to do" generally followed by an answer from Ave. When Ave gives me an answer I can say "that sounds great, lets do that, but FIRST finish this task so we can THEN do the other thing" She said that its sounds too simple and even silly, but it does great things to help little guys process things, and redirect negative emotions. I was telling OT about having a hard time getting ave to stay in time out. Her suggestion for that was to use Stop, Think, and Act. When Ave comes out of her time out too soon, to make her stop, ask her what she's suppose to be doing, and then redirect her. Ot said a big thing is getting them to come up w/ explanations for their emotions. Ave can tell me what she's feeling, but I've never thought to ask her why she feels that way. Ot also said that I should try to not let any of the things Ave says when she pissed to bother me, but to say instead "I don't think you really think mommy's ugly, I think that you're angry that you have to do this whatever" so she starts thinking about why she feels a certain way. OT doesn't believe anything is wrong w/ my daughter, other than she's a defiant child, and is not able to express why she's upset, and when we start working on those things, that it will start to get better. She gave me 2 books to read to help me out w/ this. One is called 'The challenging child' and I think the other is 'Emotional Milestones'. The are both by the same author. If anyone is interested in reading them, email me and I will send you all of the information. I feel better now, I've really been on edge about the whole thing. I just want to make sure that I'm doing the best job I possibly can for my kids, but doesn't everyone? You would think after 3 kids, I would have an idea of what to do, but they are all so different. This paragraph is so scattered, and all over the place. Sorry, hope its readable.

Have I mentioned that I like to read romance novels? Some are super cheese, but I like them. I've been on a kick this week. In these books, whenever there is a love scene, one of the lovers never fails to call out the the name of the other in the heat of passion. I don't do that. I don't believe I have ever done that. Seems to dramatic or something, or obvious. Do you do that? Something else irritating about these books.. I was reading about a prince, and whenever he was addressed in the book, he was addressed as "his Royal Highness". Doesn't that seem too feminine? But I suppose "His Royal Hinor" would sound too much like "his royal ass"...

About me

I was trying to come up w/ a list of 100 things about me, and I only got to 24.. I'm going to give you what I have, and maybe extend the list at another time. I'm lame :)

1. I'm married, happily, for the last 6 years
2. I have 3 kids. Max is 5 ½, Avery is almost 4, and Jade is 7 months.
3. I'm a stay home mom.
4. I'm loyal
5. I can't lie, which I must say, at times, sucks. I've always been a terrible liar. I just can't do it. Even in my teen years, I think I only lied to my mom twice, but then felt so guilty, I fessed up.
6. I LOVE music, of all kids. Some of my favorites- Patsy Cline, Janis Joplin, Ella Fitzgareld, Pearl Jam, The Doors, Hank Williams Jr, Aerosmith
7. I once met Aerosmith, I chased them all over town, until I finally met up with them. Steven Tyler kissed me, and even made up a song about me on the spot. One of my many highlights.
8. I met Tori Amos once too. But that wasn't planned. Me, Chicken and another friend were bored on a Friday night. We decided to get all dressed up, and drive to Chicago (3 hours from here), with no money I might add. We were having a great time on Michigan Avenue, watching street performers, and she was just standing there, right next to us. She invited us to her show the following week and U of M, which we went to, again without money, or tickets. She was kind enough to hook us up. It was a good show. Oh, and on the way home from Chicago, we didn't have money for the toll roads. Ha! They had to write us little tickets to mail in. Fun Fun.
9. I love to sing. I'm bad at it, but I love it. And not just sing, but LOUDLY sing.
10. I love to dance, again, I'm not good at it.
11. I can cook, that I'm pretty good at
12. I got my very first dirt bike at 8. Not a fan of street bikes, but I can tear it up on a dirt bike.
13. I love dogs, and desperately want one. My hubs however, doesn't share the same desire.
14. my very best friend, Chickenis dating my brother. Kind of weird at first, but I'm all about it now!
15. I'm close to my family. Mama's girl all the way.
16. I'm a Christian
17. I have 2 tattoos. A sun on my shoulder, and a dragonfly on my back.
18. I used to have questionable piercings, 3 of them.
19. I used to drink a lot. I think I was on the alcoholic edge.
20. I grew up in a broken home w/ alcoholic parents, and then a abusive, drug addicted step-dad.
21. I have 3 dads, and 4 siblings, that includes step of course.
22. I used to be a pot head. It was my favorite pass time.
23. Besides my hubs, I only really had a few real boyfriends. There were other guys, but not really any that I had a real relationship with. And by relationship, I mean that we were together for awhile, longer than a few months, and were involved w/ each others family and friends.
24. I love to read. Anything. I think I've read 50-60 books this year.

She ate soap

I've been blogging a lot recently about my troubles w/ my daughter. And they continue. I'm at a loss. I don't know what else to do about her. I threw all her toys away last week, so there is nothing left for me to take away. And she still doesn't care that they're gone. It didn't bother her that I packed up every toy she owned and threw them out. Time outs bother her a little, but not enough to change her behavior. Spanking don't work, they just make her more angry... Last night, she had to pick up her room. She changes her clothes 20 times a day, so they were everywhere. I don't expect much, just for her to put them in a pile. She was having a FIT. Yelling, crying, stomping her feet, spitting. She kept coming out of her room to holler. I kept my cool. I told her to stay in there till she picked up her things, and that's it, no more talking, bottom line. So she gets really angry, and yells "NOOOOOOOO, I DON'T WANT TO! YOU ARE AN UGLY MOM!" Where in the hell does she get this stuff? That put me over the edge. I scooped her up, plopped her on the counter, and made her swish dish soap. Man she was out of control. Screaming, spitting, crying. After her swish, I put her in her room, on her bed, forced her to look at me and told her that she may NOT talk to me like that. She said "that soap made my nose hurt funny!" and I said "Good, maybe you'll think about that before the next time you say something filthy!!!" So I left her in her room. She was really yelling in there. She was so worked up she peed her pants and her bed. She came out crying to tell me. I sent her back w/o caring, for another 5 minutes till her time out was over. When her time out was finished, I got her in the tub and threw her bedding and clothes in the wash. I just don't know.. I don't believe I'm too hard on her, but I don't let her get away w/ shit either. Where am I going wrong? I don't understand why she is the way she is. I cried last night. About her, about me, about feeling as though I'm failing as a mother. She's rotten. I love her, but I don't like her at all right now. That makes me feel terrible. I just don't know... Something has to give, and let's hope its not my sanity.
I was trying to explain to hubs last night how I've been feeling. Its somewhere along the lines of "small, inadequate, ineffective, and unimportant." I started thinking about my family. The responsibility is weighing heavy on me. On one hand its nice to be needed, but on the other, damn. Can I get a minute? I'm so involved w/ my kids, and my hubs, and spending every waking minute taking care of them, that I've lost myself. Separate from my family, who is Misty? I don't know anymore. I suppose that's the way it's suppose to be, but can't I be just a tiny bit selfish? I'm sure the answer to that is no.
When I was younger, I had all sorts of big dreams. I wanted to be in the FBI, and to be a journalist for the New York Times. lol. I wonder who I would be, if I were not mom and wife. I'm sure I wouldn't be doing either of those 2 things. I don't want to make it seem like I'm not thankful for my hubs, or my kids, b/c I am. I'm just feeling sorry for myself. Is it possible to be a mom, a wife, and keep some of yourself around? Doesn't seem like it. I generally don't mind the responsibility of my family, but when things get hard like this, really hard, I want to run away. I don't want the pressure of making good decisions so they'll turn out to be good decent citizens. I don't want to discipline them. I want to play with them and let them do what makes them happy. I don't want to think about the laundry, or what to make for supper. I thought about getting a job, a full time job. But that's no good either. I don't want someone else to raise them, but at the moment, I don't want to either.

Random

The weather here is crazy. It snowed non-stop for a few days. It was so cold on Thursday and Friday, that it hurt to inhale outside. Then yesterday, it warmed up again, and everything melted. It's in the 50's today, and raining. What? I don't get it. Pick a season. Flippn' Michigan.

I went shopping Friday morning. It was my first time for black Friday. I left my house w/ a friend at 4:30 am. The first stop wasn't bad, but the second, was madness! People were pushing, crowding, and cussing each other out. I stood in the check out line for an hour and 45 minutes. I didn't mind though. I made some new friends, sang some songs, and played a few games, all w/ the other strangers in line. Not too bad :) Did you hear about the Wal-Mart stampede, right here in MI at our local store? Crazy bitches. Glad I didn't go there. Sales make old hags go banana's. I don't know that I will be going next year. I'm going to finish up all my shopping online now. Oh, except for one trip to an outlet mall w/ friends.

Hubs took off Saturday to go deer hunting. I was bored out of my mind. I played UNO, Connect Four, and did umpteen million puzzles w/ the kids to try and pass the time. It didn't work. All of the friends that I would have liked to hung out w/ were gone, or ditched me. I was feeling a bit detached, and lonely. The house was so empty. Thankfully, my kids were well behaved, and they got a kick out of all the games we played that day. I was so excited when hubs finally got home- although he left me again shortly there after, and I spent another evening alone. I didn't mind as much though, because I knew hubs would be home to crawl into bed w/ me. I don't know why I was so needy on Saturday, I'm generally not. At all. The worst part of being needy that day was that none of my friends that I so adore, were there for me. It's not often where I feel like I need to lean on someone. I'm pretty self sufficient. But the one time I do feel like needing to lean, there was no one there for me. I'm still feeling a little detached. Like I don't want to call any of my friends today, kind of like- if they are interested in chatting, I'll let them call me. It's dumb I know. I'll get over it.

I get to clean another house this week! Its about time, I need the money. This house won't be near as gross as the last one, and I'll be getting paid better. Woohoo. Other good news for the week, hubs and I get to go out twice this week. Yep, twice! We are going out to dinner w/ my in laws tonight, and Thursday is his work Christmas party. I can't believe its already that time of year again. Every weekend from now till Christmas, we have something going on. The holidays are going to fly right by us. I love Christmas. Its my favorite time of the year. My little girl will turn 4 in a few weeks as well. 4?! Man. I better get on that shopping! Good day!

Let it Snow, Let it Snow, Let it snow...

Its coming. Snow up to our ears. They (the blasted weather men) are predicting 6-12 inches for parts of MI tomarrow, w/ gusts of wind up to 50 mph. It started snowing early this morning, and hasn't really quit- and won't. It's kind of not quite snow- more like rain at the moment, and that will make the roads fantastic for traveling tomarrow. Thankfully, we don't have far to go. We'll shall see if mr. weatherman gets it right.
The baby is still refusing a bottle. That's ok though. I can stick it out, i can hang :) I think my milk supply is coming back up now too. I was a little concerned, but seems alright now, or at least getting there.
My 2 older kids are both spending the night at different grandparents house's. WOOOOHOOOO! That's the best. Both of them haven't been gone over night at the same time in at least a year. I'm excited! I'm going to get some cooking done for tomarrow, some more never-ending-laundry, and some housework, play some cards, and spend some "quality time" w/ my hubs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It's going to be a great night!

My naughty girl has been getting better. She refused to dance at her dance class yesterday, which was a first, so I let it go. I had things to do anyway. But the rest of the day, she was good. And this morning went smoothly as well. Yay! I hope she keeps it up. I've been giving her lots of praise for being good, I hope it lasts for a while.
My baby's 2nd tooth broke through. In the last week, I've been giving her a few bottles a day, so my milk supply has gone done, which was my intention. From Sunday night through all night last night, she absolutely refused a bottle. Anytime I would try to give her one, she would fuss, and push it away w/ both hands. I nursed her every 2 hours all sunday night, and all day yesterday. I felt awful. Here she was so hungry, and I only had so much to give her. I think I started something... For some reason, on Sunday night, I was just feeling clingy to her, like I HAD to be close to her. I let her sleep w/ me, and that's something that I never do. She was cuddled up close to my chest, and she kept waking up, wanting to nurse. I think it was b/c she could smell me. I'm not sure where my clingy feeling came from. Guilt? Hormones? I don't know. But it was sweet. I woke up to her making her hungry noise, and her hands trying to get at my breast. So I fed her, whenever she wanted, all night long. Oops. I'm guessing that had something to do w/ her refusing a bottle all day long. Then last night, b/c she wasn't well fed, she kept waking up. I let her go for a while, hoping she would fall back asleep on her own, but she didn't. Finally at 4 am, while she was at the breast, I slipped a bottle to her, and she took it. Phew. I did that again this morning, knowing my milk was low, and it worked. Now I don't know what I should do again. I think I'm going to pick up some fenugreek and try to increase my supply, and perhaps just stick w/ breastfeeding. We'll see.
Today is laundry day. I'm letting the rest of my house go to hell, and I'm just going to concentrate on laundry. I can't remember when I was so behind. I always have a few loads waiting, but right now, I think I have like 15 or something. I'm going to keep track of how many I do.
I have to get some groceries for Thanksgiving today too. We are getting together w/ hubs side of the family- should be fun. This was the most boring post ever. But whaever- the burden has been lifted. Happy day all.

Naughty

Rough Weekend. My daughter is out to get to me. I'm sure of it. The last week, she's been awful! I don't like feeling nasty towards my kids. Life is much smoother when I enjoy them, or her rather. I don't know what it is. Season change maybe? She was in her room forever saturday morning, she was suppose to clean it. But she kept making up excuses, throwing fits, being a brat. So it came down to "Pick up these toys, or mommy's going to throw them away". Know what she said? "Good! I'll help you throw them away! I'm glad they are going!" Rotten rotten rotten. I'm true to my word though, so I packed them all in garabage bags, and put them out. For some reason, she thinks that its not a big deal, cause Santa is coming to bring her more in a few weeks. Hubs told her that Santa doesn't bring toys to bad listeners. So then it kind of dawned on her that perhaps, she might not get more. I must say, that if things keep up as they are, she ain't getting shit. I don't know what to do anymore. I'm fresh out. I was so emotionally drained, that I went to bed at 745p Saturday night. I can only handle so much, and recently, my lovely daughter is killing me. I hope this is only a phase, and not a preview of her teen years. Other stuff happened on Sat. as well, but I'm too tired to drag it all out, so I'll save it for later. Help me! I'm open to any ideas or suggestions to get my 4 yr old to behave! I can't believe she's driving me this mad, and she's only nearly 4. Mom of the Year....... ............

HNT First Snow

So on Tuesday night, the weather man predicted a "light dusting" that prly wouldn't stick. Does this look like a light dusting to you? Light dusting my ass. By last night, we were under a winter advisory for 3-6 inches of lake effect snow. The roads were terrible this morning. Main roads were good, but all the side roads were on big sheet of ice. And, being the ever prepared mom of the year that I am, I had to rush to the store this morning for snow boots and such. My windshield wipers were frozen this morning for an entire hour, which made driving on the treacherous roads a pure joy. My kids are so excited though! We've been listening to Christmas music all day in celebration of the snow. I'm hoping that the snow will melt still, again, being ever prepared, all the kids outdoor toys are still outside and need to be packed away. Have a happy HNT!

Damn kids. Or damn daughter rather.

I sometimes wonder if my beautiful almost-4-yr-old was given to me to try to destroy my sanity. She has been following me around all day, whining, messing up my stuff, complaining, clinging, ignoring me, or just flat out disobeying me. She has been doing crap all day that she KNOWS she isn't suppose to do. BRAT. And being the mom of the year that I am, I told her she was a rotten little girl, and to go to bed. I NEVER ever say stuff like that to my kids, even if I may be thinking it, I don't say stuff like that. Ooops. Strike one, mom. She has been demanding today " MOM! I WANT A COOKIE" All my kids get when they say that is a time out. No thank you mouth. Then she was climbing up the cupboards, and opening the fridge, other no no's. I was picking up after the little snots earlier, and I had stacked up all of their coloring pages. No sooner than I had turned around, she had scattered them all over the floor, purposely. Later in the day, I had folded laundry sitting on the floor, and she kicked it over. And I can't count how many times I said "Put that down, NO, shut the door, get back here, use your words, or STOP IT" today. My blood pressure rose at least 25 points today, I'm sure of it. I wonder if she's being naughty cause hubs is gone hunting... I'm glad he comes home tonight. Oh, and she has an overwhelming desire to change her clothes 28 times a day. I had asked her 12 fucking times today to leave her clothes on. And I still had to ask her to put them back on 6 different times. I don't care if we don't have company, or are on our way out, which we were both today. I cannot STAND that. I find her clothes sprawled out across the house all day l o n g. And she doesn't just change a shirt, or her pants, all the way down to her socks and panties. I'M FLIPPN SICK OF PICKING UP AFTER THESE LITTLE MONSTERS. I feel a strike coming on.

what to do...

Morning. Monday again. My hubs is leaving today for deer camp :( I'll be a hunting widow this week, and for every weekend for the next 3. I think I'm going to miss him more this year. I'm always sad when he goes, but its good for him. He needs that week away to sit in the woods, drink beer w/ the guys, and freeze his ass off. Besides, it gives him some time to miss me :)

The weekend was good. We went out for hubs bday on Saturday night, and that was fun. I didn't bowl very good(well right), but I had some great sing-a-longs w/ Chicken. It was a good time, and hubs had a blast. Yesterday was full of family time, and naps :) I love those days. It was cold, gross, and really really WINDY yesterday. A great day to stay inside and cuddle.

I think I'm ready to phase out nursing. My sweet baby has been giving me trouble. She hasn't really been interested in nursing in the last few weeks, I believe its called a "nursing strike", and from what I hear, is pretty common. But at this stage, when she doesn't nurse well, it effects my milk supply, and I can't pump hardly anything anymore, even if I try at a normal feeding time. So my milk supply is has gone down, and now at feeding time, instead of it being a relaxing joyful time w/ my baby, I get stressed wondering if its going to work- which effects my let down reflex. Its a hard decision for me. I'm over 1/2 done, my baby has been only breastfed up to this point. I could try to rough it out, if its that important to me. But I don't know if it is. Then I start to feel guility about it. We are now in the middle of cold/flu season, and nursing really helps babies stay healthy. Not to mention the benefits nursing has for me. Then I feel guility some more b/c I'm not really taking as good of care of myself for her- I've started drinking caffine, cut down on water, and some other things, so then I wonder, if I'm not taking the best possible care of myself, is breast still best? Then I feel bad for nursing- crap. My breasts have seen better days..... I wouldn't mind them springing back a tad bit. And my body has pretty much belonged to my baby for the last year and 1/2, it might be nice to have it back. I don't know. I don't want to just stop nursing right now. I don't want to upset her, and I'm also emotionally attached to it. I guess I could still nurse part of the time, and give her formula the other. But I know once I start w/ regular bottles, it will only be a matter of time until she will lose intrest completely in nursing. Bottles are easier and quicker for her too. I'm proud of myself for lasting this long, I didn't w/ my other 2 kids. Ideas, opinions, anyone? Not sure what to do...

I'm pooped.

Runaway friend and her kids left today. They've been here since Thursday afternoon. We had a good time. We took our kids to see 'Dragon Tales Live' on Thursday night. The kids loved it, but I must say, that was the lamest 2 hours of my life. It was horrible! At least for the grown ups. There was one scene that they went into the 'dandelion forrest', so the stage was dark, w/ black lights, and the backdrop had paintings of flowers on it. Well, there were these 'dandelion' singers that came out of the back drop. The costume they were wearing looked like GIANT pot leafs. Course, preschoolers aren't going to know what that was, but I sure got a chuckle out of it. Why do they put that stuff in kid shows/movies? Isn't there some type of penis displayed in every disney movie? Whaever..
I'm exhausted. I watched R.A.F. kids all day yesterday so she could take care of some stuff around town, and thankfully, her kids were GREAT for me. But when she's around, they're terrible! They scream blood-curdling screams, cry, fight, yell, disobey her- its awful. Why do you suppose that is? I'm sure it has something to do w/ all the changes in the last few months, but why are they only like that for her? It was good to see her, and the boys. But I'm so tired from the sheer volume of pick up crap! That was crazy! I have spent the last 48 hours doing nothing other than dishes, and picking up toys. I cannot BELIEVE the amount of effort it has taken JUST to keep it kinda clean. I need a nap now!
We played poker last night, as always. We had 32 come. I didn't do very well. I was out kind of early, but that was a good thing~ I needed to go to bed. Chasing 5 kids 5 and under, is just a bit much!
Tonight we are going out for Hubs b-day. We're going out for dinner, and then bowling w/ 8 other couples. Should be a great time, I'm really looking fwd to it. I prly should get him a gift or something... I am the most unprepared woman ever.

HNT!

I was trying to take cute nekkid baby pictures, but since my baby has become mobile, this is all I could get.. You can almost here her inner monologue "i'm goonnna get you.." Isn't she sweet??

It got better! Much Better :D

The weekend really did turn out to be wonderful, despite the pissy mood I was in. We decided not to go to a hotel for the night, I thought it'd be more work than enjoyment. Instead we put the kids to bed early, ordered in Chinese, and watched a lovely movie. We watched 'The Notebook', have you seen it? It was great! A perfect anniversary movie to watch. If you haven't seen it, you should. It was the best night ever. We turned off all the lights, and the phones, and snuggled up under a blanket. It felt sooooo good, just to be w/ hubs. It couldn't have been better! That was all on Saturday night.

Friday night, we played poker in the garage, as usual. We have 41 people show up! We were packed. We paid 9 places, so everyone at the final table got paid. I took 5th, for a whopping 50 bucks! Woohoooo. I won A HUGE hand. I've never been so excited during a game. If I wouldn't have won that hand, I would have been dead long before 5th. I went all in w/ pocket Q's. I had only 1300 in chips (which was an ok chip stack at that point), I had 2 callers. The guy next to me had pocket J's, and the other guy had AQ. On the flop was trash, A, 10. Shoot, I was beat then. On the turn Q! woooooooohhhhhhhhoooooooooo. Fantastic. I don't remember the river. But I won that hand, and it was HUGE. Tripled up. I've never gotten to rake in so many chips, that was the best. Good times!

Hubs took the kids out of the house for me for 3 1/2 hours on Saturday. He's such a hottie. So I was able to get my stuff done. That felt great. It is a lovely thing to clean house w/o interruptions. And you already know about Saturday night.

Sunday was our bowling night. My scores from the week before were something like 53,85, and 65? Anyway, on Sunday, I bowled, are you ready? 103, 56, and 125 bitches!!!!! WOOHOO I was so excited, I made a scene. We bowl at this little hole in the wall, w/ 8 lanes. Most of the people that bowl there are older, like 50's -60's, when I got a spare, followed by 2 strikes, I yelled "woohooo!!" jumped up and down followed by another holler of "holy shiiiiitttt!" You could have heard a pin drop after my little scene. LOL. Except for Chicken laughing hysterically and snorting. It was fun. Can't wait to see what score the bowling fairy blesses me with next week!

So far, this week has been ok. I've been kind of depressed for no particular reason. Must be a change of season or something. I haven't wanted too see anyone, or talk to anyone. I've been just wanting to hang w/ hubs, and ignore everything else. I HAVE to get it together though. I have a billion and one things to get done. Runaway friend is coming w/ her kids tomorrow for a few days. This will be the first time I've seen her, since I discovered all there was to know about her husband. I'm excited to see her, I've missed her, and I know she could use some relaxation, and a good time. Things are still really hard for her. I will try to update before the weekend, but you never know! Till later friends....

Pissed.

I'm pissed. First of all, I really have no right to be, but that doesn't change the fact that I am. I can't get a baby sitter for shit. I called my mom the other day to see if she could watch the kids either tonight for a few hours, or tomarrow morning for a few, just so I can accomplish some things. Hard to get shit done when you have 3 little kids under your feet. And even if hubs trys to keep them occupied, they STILL find me and get into stuff. I want to get them out of the house for just a little while. So, anyway, called mom back this morning to see if she talked to my step dad, and they have plans. Ok, what are you guys doing? I don't remember what she said for tonight, but she said that tomarrow MORNING, they have a pig roast to go to. A fucking pig roast? In the am? WHATEVER! Who goes to a pig roast in the morning? Anyone? Buttholes. I'm just frustrated. Its my fucking anniversery weekend, and NOBODY can help me out. Hubs parents NEVER babysit, but of course, my m-i-l is still recovering from breast cancer, so I'm not upset about that, although even when she was healthy, they don't like to baby sit. My grandma will usually watch my kids anytime, bless her heart, but she's out of town right now, and my parents have a FUCKING pig roast. All of my friends have busy families and kids of thier own, so that doesn't really work, and I could have a niece or high school girl over (the 2 we use on occasion), but that defeats the purpose. I want them out of the house for 2 fucking hours. I'm so pissed. MAN, that sucks. Really sucks. My kids aren't little demons, why can't I find a sitter? I give up. Fuck em'.

A little pumpkin for you.

Today is MUCH better than yesterday. Kids are better, and the baby seems to be more like herself today as well. I went to bed really early last night, and woke up refreshed. My girls and I went to lunch w/ a friend today. Ave made some friends w/ the old ladies at the table next to us. She was talking away to them, and she says " I moved out of my room into a tent!". You should have seen the old ladies faces! hahaha! A few weeks ago, hubs set up a tent in the basement so he and the kids could have a camp out. Avery decided that she likes to sleep in there more than her bed, and we don't care, long as she sleeps. She didn't mention to the old gals that it was in the basement. HA! I'm sure they thought that I was the mom of the year :)

Do you ever play w/ google earth? I was messing around w/ it today, its cool! Are the pictures you see being taken as we speak, or are they from another time? I can't tell my looking the top of my house. I can't tell if the pool is open or not. We have a dark green cover, and the pool looked dark, but not like alge. Does anyone know?

So we are going away for our anniversery. We decided to go spend a night in a hotel, w/ the kids. I know we'll have a good time, but I was looking foward to some alone (ahem) time. That won't work so well w/ the kids in our hotel room! That will be a little different for an anniversery night. It doesn't seem like we've been married this long. I'm proud of where we are. We have our normal couple issues, like anyone else, but I'm ecstatic that its true that you fall more in love each year. Its different now, b/c its not that 'new' love, but its better, b/c its constant, and we are still passionate about each other.

I don't think I'll get back around to posting over the weekend, but wish me some luck. Not only w/ hubs and making some magic :), but w/ poker too. I played awful last week. Have a good weekend!

Another Day

My morning started with:
Ave " MOOOOOOMMMMM! I axci-denwy dopped your ting in da potty!"
Blue " What? What did you say?" I was across the house
Max" SHE SAID SHE DROPPED YOUR THING IN THE POTTY!"
Blue" SHHHHHH Max! I can't hear your sister! What Ave?!" Meanwhile, baby cries.
Ave" Its your ting, I sowwy, I popped on it" Brilliant. I love days that start w/ a bang. And so my day began. Ave has been more than a little difficult to deal w/ the last few days. Max has been in a foul mood, and fighting w/ Avery, and Jade, well, she was perfect, till about 2 days ago. She's getting teeth, has a terrible runny nose, decided to give up sleeping, and has cried more in the last few days than she has since she was born. I'm a bit frazzeled. Hubs and I's anniversery is this weekend, and lo and behold, we have no babysitter. P E R F E C T. One of my girlfriends is pissed at me, and my other friends husband, thinks I suck. Can it get any more fab-u-lous? I just wanted to stay in bed today w/ the covers pulled up over my head, and cry. Fuckn A. Somedays are just not so great.
Have you caught this new show called The Office? I think that's what its called. Its funny in a really retarded kind of way. Like you want to turn it off, but you can't help it. You have to keep watching. Deer in headlights type of thing.
I need to get back to my laundry, and mopping. I hope something goes better this afternoon, or I might have to start smoking crack or something similar....

Halloween

Morning! Halloween was fun. All of us dressed up, including hubs. We had a good time. Max and Avery were firemen, Jade was a pumpkin, hubs was a cowboy, and i was a ragedy housewife complete w/ curlers. I couldn't believe how warm it was last night! But it wouldn't be a michigan halloween w/o some rain. We got pretty wet. The kids had a good time running from house to house. It was fun to watch. I was disappointed that we didn't get any trick or treaters at our house. Weird. We live in a residental area, we should have had some. That's one of my favorite things, passing out candy and checking out all the costumes. I'll post some halloween pics of our family when chicken mails them to me.
Poker was fun on Friday night. I didn't make any money, but I made a few new friends, that was cool. We did a whole lot of nothing the rest of the weekend, which makes it difficult to blog. Nothing interesting to talk about.. I'll come up w/something tomarrow, maybe :) Perhaps a story from back in the day. I'll think of something.

Kids and Babies

This morning, my son says "hey mom! Do you know what this is?!" I look over, and he's flipping me off, but he has his thumb out too. hmmmm, don't panic... Me " uh, what is that?" Him "its a bird!" Holy shit... Wait.. I went over any road rage I've had in the last few weeks, nope, couldn't have gotten it for me. At this point I'm trying to decide how to explain that its not nice, and what to say about it and then "See, it's a peacock!" as he starts moving his middle finger down to his thumb. PHEW. I was starting to sweat. LOL. He's a good boy. Yesterday was rough, I was stressed, and still feeling blah, and crying. Max said "you don't have to worry about a stinkn' thing! You just change your thoughts mom, do you need a hug?" He's the best!
Jade got her first tooth yesterday! My earliest teether. Max was 11 months, and Avery was 9 months. She also started to do the army crawl thing. She pulls herself around by her elbows, and changes direction w/ her toes. Cute. I wish it wasn't going by so fast. Hubs said that I should call the doc and make an appt so he can get a vasectomy (sp?). I kind of freaked out about it. Not out loud, but made me sad. How can it just be decided that you want to give up having kids? We thought that 3 was enough, but when it comes down to it, I don't think I'm ready for a permanet procedure. I feel like I just got the hang of this mommy/pregnancy/baby business, I'm not ready to say 'that's it' and feel confident about that. We were out w/ some friends the other night and they were asking if there were more babies in our future. I said something along the lines of "if he'd let me, I'd have more". He was surprised. Turns out, he might want another one too someday. I think we'll wait. Maybe in another year, I'll feel definite one way or the other. Its so hard when you are given the gift to create life, to just not do it. But then again, there a 1000's of kids out there, that don't have a family. What to do, what to do... I think it's best to wait.

Ho-Hum

Nothing at all has been going on for the last few days. Kids have been good, hubs too. I'm alright. I've been in some what of a fog recently. I can't quite put my finger on it, but something is amiss, w/ me. I'll be over whatever it is soon, I'm sure. Have you ever heard of the Great Wolf Lodge? If you have kids, you should go here! We brought our kids in June, and they had a fantastic time. They still haven't stopped talking about it. We are going again in a few weeks. Its not just for little kids though, hubs and I had a great time too. Kids of any age would like it. Its kind of pricey, but well worth it. Check out is at 12, but you are free to use the water park till it closes, so you could get your money's worth w/ only a one night stay. Besides the indoor waterpark, they have fun kid crafts, story time in the lobby at night, scavenger hunts during different times. Its a blast for everyone. Our anniversery is in a few weeks, and b/c I'm still nursing, hubs and I can't go away alone for a night yet, we decided to do something fun for our kids. I'm a little concerned about keeping the baby entertained... The last time we were there, she was only 6wks old, so she just kind of slept in her stoller or backpack, and ate. Now she's a bit more pickey about where she sleeps (has to be in her bed and quiet) and when she eats.. I'm sure it'll still be a blast. The water is super warm, so maybe she'd even enjoy getting in it. She loves the tub. That's an idea...
I've been thinking about my girlfriends lately. I've got some really great friends, and I love them dearly, for all different reasons. I think a few know me better than myself sometimes. I went out w/ a friend the other day, and she had some great insight about me, that I hadn't even seen myself. I have another friend that I do nothing other than laugh with. Then there's Chicken, with her, its more like she's a piece of my soul, I think maybe she's the only one who has seen all sides of me, good bad and ugly, and has never faultered. She's priceless, one I could truely not live w/o. Then I have some friends based only on our history, like we were friends when we were 8, therefore we are still friends today. Some of my history gals aren't even good for me, but I can't let go out of guilt. What is it w/ me and guilt? I got offtrack anyway, I just meant that I really treasure those few girlfriends that know me so well, and still love me anyway :)
Oh, and an update for you on runaway friend and pedofile husband. P.H. was put in jail today. Good place for him. He won't be sentenced for a few months, but jail is where he'll stay until then, and hopefully, get a long long time. R.A. friend is ok. She's decided to move fwd w/ divorce papers, and trying to pick up her pieces. She'll be ok, but I can't imagine how difficult it will be for her to heal from this nasty mess. Anyway- ITS LATE. I need to go to bed! Good night!

I dislike Mondays.

BUT, I think they will be getting better soon. I decided to drop my moms group. I love it, and I've made some very good friends from there, but I just can't do it. I'm too busy on Mondays. My mom's group is from 9-11:15. My baby naps during that time as well, but not when we are there. She just misses her nap, which is rough. Then she's off for a few days. I feel really guility about it. I have this terrible guilt issue. I am always concerned about letting someone down, even if doing so is better for me, or my family. I hate that. I don't want to feel guilty about making a good decision. Damn. I hope that will subside some soon!
We had a nice weekend. We played poker on Friday(well right), and I got 3rd. 65$ woohooo. Saturday was the best, b/c we did a whole lot of nothing. Ran errands, did laundry, and napped. My daughter had to go potty while we were out and about on Saturday, so we stopped at McD's. I went in to help her, and when she pulled her pants down, she had a STACK of panties on. I asked her why she had so many panites on, and she simply stated " i taught tey would keep me wahmmer." LOL. I was trying not to laugh, cause she gets really upset if she thinks someone is laughing at her. And when I pulled them back up, I couldn't just pull the bunch up at once. I had to pull each one up one at a time. LOL. Cracked me up.
Last night was me and hubs first night bowling. We joined a team w/ Chicken, and my brother. It was fun. I'm a terrible bowler. Really terrible. We played 3 games last night, and my scores were 65, 85, and 53. Yep, that's how bad I am. But its fun! I hope I'll get better. We shall see.

HNT

I had to go to the dentist today. What is it w/ those guys anyway? I think they are out to see how much they can make you bleed. I have healthy teeth, its one of the rare things i'm compulsive about. I cannot go w/o brushing them. So I KNOW that i take care of them. So the chick is doing the scrape. That's the worst sound ever. I have to disract myself or i get all skeeved out. Then comes the poking. I mean STABBING. Damn! She says "your gums a little sensitive in a few places" Um, no shit? You think if I jammed a knife like tool as hard as I could into your face, it might bleed? Maybe a wee bit? OUCH. That was not great. At all. And I couldn't pull faces or swear cause my kids were with me. Lord knows I don't want to tramitze them. As much as I dislike the scrapping and stabbing, I love the super clean teeth feel afterwards. Insparation for HNT. I've never noticed it before, but I seem to have an odd shaped head. Weird. Happy Thursday all.

More on Sex

Okay, so I recently read this book on sex and marriage. The guy who wrote this book is a marriage consoler, and he had some interesting theories. Hence my earlier sex poll. His theory is that the best indicator of how a marriage is doing is your sex life. Lots of sex= intimate, close nit couple. Little sex= not so great relationship. I'm trying to decide if this guy has a point, or if he's full of it. I understand that sometimes there can be circumstances where couples cannot be all that sexual, and I don't think that that would mean your relationship is on the rocks. But besides those situations, I think I would agree. Do you? I wonder how much of an impact upping your weekly average would make. I have a great relationship w/ my hubs. We on occasion have normal couple issues, but overall, we have a fantastic marriage. He's my other half and definitely my best friend, I could not "be" w/o him. I'm going to test this guy's theory. I read on Queen of Pink's blog today that she had made a decision to always be available when her hubs was in the mood, even if she wasn't (which she also said she is all about it after a few min). Kind of what this author had to say as well. What are your opinions on this? Do you think that intimacy will overall determine how fantastic your relationship is? I'm not sure that I do. Oh, and if any of you decide to try this theory, let me know what happens, and if you agree or disagree.

Finish the Stolen Post

BLAH BLOGGER! I had every intention of finshing my image thing, but blogger is being a butthole, and I cannot upload my pictures. Stupid. So I suppose I'll just tell you. My favorite song is "Summertime" by Janis Joplin. You know, she never had the best voice, but it was always filled w/ so much passion. I think passion will get you farther than talent in some instances. My favorite food is spaghetti. I know, kind of boring. That favorite food business changes as the wind blows. Next week it could very well be tacos. Most hated food that NEVER changes. SEAFOOD. Puke. I can handle white fish, or fried clams, but that is all, and only occasionally. My hubs tries to make me try shrip every time he orders it, and it is nasty as all get out each and everytime. Just thinking of it makes my stomach roll. ugh. gross. and don't get me started on crab/lobster. (blue is gagging). Got off track again. Oh, my grandma's name. Mary. I found a picture of Mary Mary quite contrary, you know the rhyme? I just liked the picture of it. My g-ma is fabulous. She can irritate me for days, but all in all, she's a great lady. She's helped me out in so many ways. A lot of people are not close to thier grandparents, but for me, they are like second parents, and for a great part of my life, the only stablity in my life. Another time for that story. I forget what else... Oh, i think it was favorite smell. My baby. Or any baby. To be more specific, clean babies. :D
I haven't been on in a few days, I've been feeling blah. Yesterday I didn't feel good at all, and I was crabby. It was one of those days that anything that can go wrong, did. My daughter had preschool yesterday, and we woke up late to start things off. Her hair was completely tangled and crusty, and I didn't have time to wash it, so I had to try and brush it out to the tune of "ouuuccchhhh, stop it, that hurts, dooooon't!" always pleasent when your late and feeling like ass. Then my son spilled a full bowl of cerel all over the floor, and began to cry b/c we used up the last of the milk. I was trying not to be cranky w/ him, but given my mood, and my daughter's whining, that was a struggle. I just wanted to go back to bed. I had to wait till hubs got home from work at 5, and then I did pass out. I slept so deeply, that I was totally confused when he woke me up. I didn't know what he was doing, if it was morning, I hadn't remembered laying down. It took a full 5 minutes for the the fog to clear and relize that it was 8 at night- I can't remember the last time I slept so good. It was great. I went back to bed at 11, and slept till 715 this morning.. ahhhh.. Now I need to get my ass in gear, and clean up my house. My inlaws are coming over tonight, and currently, my house is NOT fit to see. I have all sorts of other nonsense to share, but not enough time today. I'll get around to eventually! Have a happy Wed.

Stolen Post

>

I stole this from Chicken, who stole it from CaligirlPEI, and she from someone else. I liked it too. Good for a Sunday post. You're suppose to go to google, and select image searches. Then you look for the following images. Um, not sure the order, but something like~ the name of the town you grew up in, the name of the town you live in now, your name, you grandma's name, your favorite song title, favorite drink, and food? I think. Anyway, you select your favorite images. Here you go. Flippn' blogger. I can only do a few for some frickn reason. Pisses me off. Why do I always have picture trouble? Is there a way to post pictures here using Flickr? If that's possible, could someone PLEASE explain it to me in retard terms? Pardon my rant. On w/ the FEW FLIPPN' pictures.

This is a picture of the firestation in the town I live in now. Which I should add is only like 4 miles from where I grew up.
I liked this picture. Its an old train station in fantastic Byron Center MI. Very nice.
Oh... Margarita.. Let me count the ways I love you......
This one is suppose to be my name, Misty. I love the woods. Grew up in em'. Love it. Love the way they look, smell, and how you can lose yourself in them. I don't mind getting lost. That's 1/2 the adventure of getting there :)

SEX SEX SEX

I think we need a sex poll. Help me out here guys. If you are in a committed relationship, of any sort, please leave your age, length of relationship, and how many times per week you have sex :) Sex is an interesting topic... Did you know one of the best indicators of how strong your relationship is, is your sex life? Do you agree or disagree w/ that statement? I suppose to be fair, I have to go first. Depends on the week, some are more active than others, w/ an occasional lapse of no more than a week, and I've been married for 6 years.... And I do agree that its a good indicator of where you relationship stands. Because if your not having sex, something is wrong. And I don't mean the occasional lapse, but like you never do it on a regular basis. Help me out... I'm curious what happens in other peoples hectic lives, and how often you're getting some :)

HNT

I haven't done a HNT post in awhile. And this is not an interesting one, but its a pic, right? So this morning I had to babysit a friend of mine's kid. This little girl is in the same preschool as my daughter, and her mom had an early morning appt. She is a naughty girl! Worse than mine, I know, hard to believe. She was loud, disobedient, AND she HURT my baby. Yep, I almost had to kill her. Unbelievable. My innocent baby was sitting in her exersaucer. Naughty girl came up and pushed her head down till it hit the saucer. I can't handle that shit. Drives me crazy. You should have heard my little baby cry- so sad, and surprised. My kids have never tried to hurt her-ever. There would be hell to pay if they did such a thing, but being this was someone else's kid, she was put in the corner for a time out. I was surprised that she listened, but I'm glad she did. Brat. This naughty girl has a baby brother as well, and every now and again hurts him. I've heard of that before, but why? She was dropped off at my house at 730 this morning. I prly would have tolerated her better if it had been after 9. I don't function well in early morning hours.
Hubs and I have to go to a rehearsal dinner this evening- he's in a wedding on saturday. Friday night, more poker of course. And Chicken, I'm looking fwd to taking your money again :) muhahahah... Sunday my girl friend is flying in from MN, just to hang out w/ me! I'm excited to see her. She hasn't met Jade yet either. She was here last just before I delivered. Should be a fun weekend! I will post pics of the nasty farmhouse tomarrow! Happy HNT all.

CrabAss

I'm crabby, and tired. I've been super busy the last few days. My days have been spent carting my kids to their various activities, and then to work at the hotel, and after that, cleaning the old nasty farm house. I'm glad for the job, but I must admit, it makes me tired. And on top of being tired, I think my period is going to come back. It hasn't yet since my baby was born (she's 6 months). So my uterus feels like a hard mass of crampiness, and my lower back a mass of knots and soreness. Which is probably adding to my being ornery. Of course it could also be sore b/c I've been hunched over for the last few nights scrubbing away nastiness. My kids have been fairly pleasant. Except for yesterday. It was one of those days that every time my daughter opened her mouth just like nails on chalkboard! "mmooooommmmmyyyy I WANT JUICE RIGHT NOW!" She can be a peach when she wants :)Naughty.
Since I've been so busy everywhere else, now my house is a mess. When my house is a mess, I can't relax. It makes me twitchy. When I'd rather sit and read a book, I can't, I'll be too busy stewing about the mess. I can't not do it, I must get up to clean it. I'm not a clean freak by any means, but there is a difference b/w lived in mess, and big MESS. Know what I mean?
Our cable was disconnected. I don't watch too much TV to begin w/so I didn't think it would bother me, but it is. I can't wait to have it back. We don't have any channels. Every channel is fuzz. It was disconnected on Sunday. My hubs called to find out what the problem was and they said it was their mistake, there was not a cancellation order. Duh. So he asked if they could come and fix it now, and they said no. B/c it was already done, we'd have to wait till the next business day, call the sales office, and order a reconnect. Hubs said that he didn't order a disconnect, so he's not making any phone calls, company's mistake, you fix it, and I'd like it done today. They said that they couldn't do that, so now hubs is pissed. You can imagine how many times he had to hold and how many different people he talked to. He ended it w/ "if you can't take care of this for me, I'm taking my business elsewhere." So now we are without. I've been calling around, but there isn't any other cable company's around here, except for dish, and I'm not interested in a dish. Bastards. I want to start my own cable company. Only order the channels you watch, and pay only for those. Custom cable. And Cheap... How do I get started on that?
I'll post some pics of the nasty farm house tomorrow. The stove in there is crazy.. I wonder what year it is. I should have taken before and after pics so you could see for yourself how bad it was... I'm almost done with it now. Pardon my bitch fest, I'll try to be chipper tomorrow. Later

Woohooo

Morning! I skipped my moms group today. sshhhhh. I love it. Mondays are generally SO hectic that I don't have time to breathe, and today, I just decided to not be hectic.The weekend was alright. I finally won some money playing poker. I was hoping to do some serious drinking at the polish festival this weekend, but we were stuck w/o a sitter, so I went to bed, before 10. What? I know, weird.
Some friends of mine wanted to go and see this house that was for rent. The owner told them that it wasn't ready to see b/c previous tenants left it a mess, and he would need some time to take care of it. Gave me an idea... So I called him and just asked if he would be interested in hiring someone to clean it out for him. He said yeah! Sweet. I felt really odd calling about a job that had not been offered, but I figured all he could say was no. Then I was telling another girlfriend about it, and she and her hubby are moving into a new house. She asked if I would be interested in cleaning thier house! YES! I believe I've just found an additional way to make money. Any one else? Need some cupboards cleaned? Have a great Monday. I'll be more entertaining tomarrow, I promise. This was kind of boring... Later.

Prom and the Midgets

Chicken was over this weekend, and we were looking back at pictures of our jr prom. I'll have to scan a few pics for you from way back when. We and our dates went to the prom together. We had a riot, and my prom date, was hot. I kind of wondered on occasion if he was gay, he IS a nurse, but anyway. After prom we were staying in a hotel, and our parents weren't normal. They knew we were staying w/our dates in a hotel, but we just had to call them and let them know which one and the rm #. This was before the cell phone revolution, so we had to go down to the lobby to use the payphones. Chicken and I were both talking to our moms, standing next to each other when a midget walked by. We kind of looked at each other and giggled. A few seconds later, 6 midgets came by. We were like "whoa, I didn't know that there were whole families of midgets-weird." We live in mid-west Michigan, there is nothing interesting here, or wasn't then anyway, and we lived in the woods. Little people are not commonly seen so it was funny to us. We got off the phone, and we were talking about the family, giggling, and looking fwd to getting our drink on. We're music lovers, and kind of fanatacal about some late 60's-early 70's rock. We heard Jimi Hendrix 'Purple Haze' and we were like "where is that coming from?? Let's go see if its a wedding reception, crash it, get some free food/drinks" We started wandering down long hallways, following the music. We found the room, it was a HUGE ballroom type thing, and the door wasn't open all the way. We cracked that bad boy open, and our jaws dropped in amazement. There was this big sing that said "Welcome the the little people of america convention!!!" lolololololol! There were 1000? midgets in there shaking thier asses to 'purple haze'. So yeah, we joined them. We had a blast! We went and got our dates, and got drunk as hell w/ the cool ass little people. For as small as they are, they can hold some liquor. We hung out w/ them drinking/smoking pot till the early hours of the morning. All was well till my date passed out, and this small fella tried to make his move. Ha! How 'bout nope. Sorry dude. He kept trying to convince me that he was the shit and I should stay w/ him, my date was asleep anyway, why waste perfectly good prom night? Eeewwwwww. So then it got weird. I had to collect my passed out date, and my chicken, and crawl our way back up to our own room. That was for sure a night to remember. Nothing like the good ole' days :)

Stories

I wanted to post last night, but I just never had time. Hectic as hell kind of day. So the weekend was great. We had a good time playing cards on Friday night, but no, I didn't win. Next Friday though. Saturday night hubs and I were sitting in the front room watching tv, around midnight. All of a sudden, I heard the front door try to open. Someone was jiggling (sp?) the handle. I asked hubs if he heard it. He did, but he thought it might be my brother. My bro left his truck here and we knew coming back for it at some point. But anyone who comes over, comes through the garage. So hubs started poking around, looking out the windows, he couldn't see anything. He went outside to check things out. Have I made mention of my paranoia? You can imagine the state I was in :) Hubs found this kid in our front yard, piss drunk. This kid has been staying in the ghetto neighbor house. He was so loopy drunk that he thought our house was his. I should post a pic of the front of our houses so you can see how different they look. I will when I'm done. T.K. had also been driving. I CANNOT stand drunk drivers by the way. His car is blue, but it had white streaks of paint down one side, and the tire was gone. He had been driving on rim alone for who knows how long, and he didn't know it. He drove from Zeeland to here, which is like 10-15 miles. Unreal that he didn't kill himself, or someone else. Hubs called the police, and they came to pick T.K. up. We gave our statements, and watched them do the sobriety test. Have you ever seen one? They're not difficult at all, and as awful dd's are, it was hard not to laugh about how fucked up he was. He couldn't say the alphabet, he screwed up his letters. Couldn't count backwards from 35 to 18, and he was REALLY concentrating- his forehead was all wrinkled, REALLY concentrating. And when the cop asked him to stand on one foot and count 1-onethousand up to 10, he fell over and pissed himself when he got to 2. Unreal. Made for an interesting night though.
This post got longer than I thought it would, so i'll save the midget and the prom story for tomarrow. Oh, I worked yesterday. That was great! Before kids, I worked for a well known hotel chain. After I had my first baby, I worked twice a week, but after the second baby, hubs and I thought that twice a week was too much w/ our plans and his long hours. At first, they said that they would miss me, but at the end of my notice, asked if I could stay. I couldn't, so they asked if I would be 'on call' so if they couldn't cover something, or someone was sick, I could come in. Perfect! So yeah, I've been doing this 'on call' thing for 4 yrs now. I usually work once a month, and I still get to keep all my perks, which make traveling a lot less expensive, and not just for me, but for my extended family as well. But yesterday was the first day I had worked in 6 months! It was nice to be back. I think I might just start working a little more. Its nice to have another purpose than just a mom.
I stopped at the store last night. My purchases were: a dozen condoms, personal lubricant, and shaving cream. Do you ever wonder if they talk about you when they leave?? :D It looked like the clerk was having a hard time not busting out. I suppose it did look kind of funny. I guess my plans were aparent. I wonder about that w/ the pharmacey too. I get cold sores on occasion, and a great treatment for those is Valtrex, which also treat genital herpes. lol. Last time I filled a prescribtion, I was like "yeah, I've got COLD SORES" LOLOLOL. I don't really care, but I think its kind of funny. But I do think that I will leave condom buying up to my hubs :) I wouldn't expect him to go buy tampons, right? Geez, I got all off track on a bunch of nonsense. Sorry kids!! Hope you have a great day!

I wish I had more time today- I have some stories from the weekend, but I'm just too damn busy! Dentist, Dance, School, and I GET TO GO TO WORK TODAY!!!! Yeehaw. Can you believe it?? I'm excited. If I have time later today, I'll fill you in on the job thing, and a fabulous story about a drunk stranger and the police and coming in my front door. Crazy. Oh, maybe I'll throw in a random story about midgets and the prom. Sweet. Later...

Ta- Da!

Here it is! I spent 8 hrs sowing this together yesterday. Its a baby quilt for my friend- her shower is next week. I wanted to get it all done, and its not yet. This isn't a very good picture, you can't really see the patterns very well, or the colors, but you get the idea anyway. My back is sore from being hunched over. I didn't have a pattern, or directions. I've made a few before, but I always had directions, or my mother in law to hook me up. I'm surprised how well it turned out for winging it. I still have to finish the back, but whaever. I'll get that done tomorrow or something. My mother in law in the master, she can make anything. I'm just learning from her. My hubs bought me a sowing machine for Christmas the first year we were married, and I was like "What do you think I'm going to do w/ this thing?" I'm not sure I had ever even seen one before. Nobody does that sort of thing in my family, and I'm certainly not crafty. So it sat in my closet for 4 yrs. Finally my m-i-l guilted me into taking it out. Its not so bad. I was cursing a blue streak last night, and the seam ripper was my best friend, and I wanted to throw it out and quit right then, but the almost finished product made it worth it. I don't know when I'll want to put myself through that again. We shall see who gets knocked up next, if they're special enough to make me want to suffer for sentimental reasons.
So, I've got nothin' else.. Here's some pics of my girls. Been awhile since I posted any pics. Have a good weekend! Shit. I wanted to put the girls here, but so what. Never puts them where I want em'. Anyway- later..

First time mom

I didn't know what to post today. I wrote a letter to a new friend about my first time mom experience,she wanted to know if I had a hard time. Figured I could use it as a post.. Here you go

Oh Friend!!! You are SOOOO normal, and not at all alone! I had a terrible time when my first child was born. Before you have kids, you hear about how fabulous it is, and even more fantastic if you're a stay home mom. I thought it would be for me too- but it wasn't. Not even close. I was a mess, all the time. I was constantly worried that I was doing everything wrong, my hubs was working 13 hr days, and was completely useless when he got home (b/c of his long hours), not to mention that he didn't know what to do for me. I cried a lot. I can remember rocking my son at 3am, holding on to him for dear life, but devastated at the same time, because I didn't know what to do w/ this beautiful little guy. I had post-partum (sp?) depression. It wasn't the type where I ever thought about hurting myself or my child, but I was a wreck. No one tells you the truth about how they really feel,or how it could be. It isn't all fantastic and magical, yes there are moments, but its hard! Suddenly the world rests on your shoulders, its a huge change. Being a stay home mom sucks. At least until you get used to it, figure it out, and find some support. You're not a bad mother at all for wanting to get away. You need to get away every now and then. I know that when I get out for a while, I can be a better mom when I get home, b/c my patience (sp?) is renewed. You lose so much of yourself when you become a parent. Everything about you changes. What's important, what you like, where you go, how late you stay out. Any hobbies you had pre-baby, settle on the back burner. And for some reason, that's not always true for our other halves- I don't understand that, but that's the way it is, and that can make you feel bad too- knowing that you have sacrificed so much of yourself for your family, when hubs/boyfriend doesn't have to, or didn't as much. I'll never understand that, but the majority of parenting/baby care taking falls on mothers. Your not alone at all, and you sound like a fantastic mommy- you just need to remember to take care of you too. This mom business, ain't no joke. Its hard babe. Don't be so hard on yourself, and don't feel guilty! I felt like you did until I found a moms group, it can really change things for you. I want to encourage you to find one. If you find one that you don't feel like you really click in, look for another. There are moms like you and I all over, trying to find girlfriends. You'll be ok, hon. Please keep in touch!

Hope today is the best!
Misty

Funny Kid

Max was playing w/ some neighborhood kids last night. These kids are all older by at least 5 yrs. I'm not sure what they were playing, but it was something like dodge ball. He played for a little bit, and then came back over by me. I could tell he was sad, his eyes were red-rimmed and shiny, and his bottom lip was quivering- even though he was trying to suck it up, he was on the verge of tears. When I asked what was wrong, he said that he kept losing, he's not good enough to play that game, he can't get anyone out. Broke my heart, poor baby. He was crushed, and I don't know if those little fuckers were making him feel bad or not, but I could have kicked their asses. My protective mommy instinct kicked in. I just said that he needed to practice more, and he would get better at the game, and reminded him that these kids were all older, and therefore faster. But, when you get older, I bet you could take em' all out. He says "I'd rather take their teeth out" LOLOLOLOL. I try NOT to encourage bad behavior, but I couldn't help but laugh. He was so broken, and then just pissed. He's a funny boy.After I was able to get my giggles under wrap, I told him that dad and I would give him a hand practicing the game, and maybe sooner than later, he'd be able to get em all out, but spare their teeth... He's the best 5 yr old ever.